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My Wide Blue Seas

Its All About The Journey



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Name~ Hokule'a Kealoha

Short Bio~Hokule'a Kealoha is the Nom De Plume of a writer that formerly lived in Hawaii and is now living a life of adventure on the highways and byways of the American South . I am a Born Again follower of Jesus, as well as a wife, mother of cats and dogs,jeweler, entreprenuer, photographer and pilgrim...

Age~ Old enough to know better

Status~ Newly Single after 13 years of marriage,fur mom to the loving and devoted mini ShihTzu doggie Annabelle, born 6-11-2007 RIP 2-25-09, and the beautiful Abigail born 2-14-09

Hair Color~ natural brown/grey

Mood~ I ALWAYS have a mood, try me...

Loving~ Jesus, Hawaii, my furry friend, Abigail, my Pen Pals, Jewelry ,Blogging ,Writing anything,my Ipod,and being outdoors surrounded by my wonderful natural surroundings

Hating~ Boom Box Cars, Earspray, Abuse of Power,

Reading~
  • Bible


  • Magnificat


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  • Underwired! Louisville's magazine for Women


  • In Store~The Magazine for the American Jeweler



  • Books in Progress...
  • CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH


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  • Just Finished Reading

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  • Jesus, Divine Mercy ~
    Learn About The Divine Mercy
    I Trust In You~

    My Favorite Past Posts~Relive The Journey!~
    2009~
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  • 2008~
  • Be Thankful


  • Colateral Damage


  • Make Lemonade


  • Home Is Where The Heart Is


  • The Poor With Us


  • Because Its The Hardest Thing I Can Do


  • We Have All Become Victims


  • Lest I Forget


  • The Most Important Words


  • Family Values


  • Familiar Places


  • May Perpetual Light Shine On Them


  • A City In Motion


  • 2007~
  • The Quiet Storm


  • Fellowship of the Cane


  • Like Dead Unremembered: A 9-11 Tribute


  • The Medicine Machine


  • One Giant Leap


  • In The Steps of St. Francis


  • Too Much Information


  • The Un Choice


  • 2006~
  • The Holly and the Ivy


  • The First 9-11, Dec 7,1941


  • Small Moments of Silence


  • Peaches to Winnipeg


  • Dreaming of Hawaii


  • Memorial Day


  • Scattered Values


  • The White Line is the Lifeline for the Nation


  • Warnings of a New Civil War


  • I Will Be True To The Promise I Have Made


  • The Snowy Bloody Day


  • Cats in the Cradle


  • 2005~
  • The Journey


  • Rebirth of a City


  • For Posterity's Sake


  • The New Civil War


  • Every Mother's Son


  • And There You Stayed, Temporarily Lost at Sea


  • The Lone Rider


  • The Bible Is Not the Fourth Member of the Trinity


  • Rome Wasn't Built With Union Labor


  • Happy Birthday Mom ~revised~


  • A Beautiful Noise


  • Even Now


  • The Wearing of the Red


  • Night Ranger


  • The Joyful Traveler


  • Hoiliili "To Gather Up"


  • Ke Makakilo (My Observations)


  • He Giveth Sleep


  • Save The Children


  • 2004~
  • Lux Aeterna


  • December 2004


  • You're Joking, Right?


  • Ground Zero


  • I Am Not A Failure


  • O,To Grace, How Great A Debtor


  • Lost In Translation


  • One Small Step for Man


  • The Rainbow's End


  • Profanity


  • Taps


  • The Journey


  • Makoa's Song


  • No Aloha For The Weakest


  • The Paradoxical Comandments


  • The Time Is Now


  • 2003~
  • When No Fruit Is On The Vine



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    St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
    St. Edith Stein~Pray for Us

    Religion Link List~

  • My Secret is Mine


  • Ignatius Insight-Online Magazine


  • Fr John Corapi SOLT


  • Dr. Scott Hahn St Paul Center


  • Fr. Mitch Pacwa~ Ignatius Productions


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  • Political Link List~
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  • Arkansas Link List~
  • Little Portion Hermitage


  • John Michael Talbot website


  • John Michael Talbot Myspace page


  • 1st United Methodist Church Bella Vista


  • Northwest Arkansas Guide



  • Mimi's Cafe


  • Metro Woman Business Directory of NW Arkansas


  • River Grille


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  • Interactive Links~

    Live WebCam Feed from the Mauna Lani Resort, Kohalla, Big Island of Hawaii


    Click here for Aloha Joe!Live Hawaiian Music 24/7

    St Damein of Molokai'i,Patron Saint of Hawaii, Pray for us

    St. Damien of Molokai'i, Patron of Hawaii and the Outcasts among us, pray for us....

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    Hawaii Links~ ~
  • For more Hawaii links Click Here


  • Volcano Updates (Pele's Mood Meter)Hawaii Volcano Observatory

  • Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

  • Volcano Watch Archives

  • Mauna Kea Observatory

  • Pacific Tsunami Museum

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  • Technorotica for Blogging~





    Blogarama - The Blog Directory

    Listed on BlogShares


    Christianity Blog Directory


  • Who Links Here...Click here to see who's linking to this site. Powered by WhoLinksToMe.com

  • Globe of Blogs~Blog search engine

  • The Blog Search Engine

  • stock xchng

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  • BlogSkins

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  • Wikipedia



  • Nuzio's Place on the Web


  • Commutefaster.com


  • PING ME!


  • MWBS Wordpress Edition


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  • Technorotica for Jewelers, and the Jewelry Trade~

  • Gemological Institute of America


  • The Drouhard National Jewelers School


  • The Conner School



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  • October 31, 2004

    I Am Not a Failure....


    The Island of Healing, Coconut Island Hilo Bay

    Leaving the scene of disappointments has often meant that I have failed. I wasn't "enough" I didnt "try hard enough." or that I was weak and wasn't up to the task at hand.

    I have had countless jobs... Many where it was said "hey we couldn't have done it without you..." but I never was promoted or given the needed and deserved raise. I saw women that were cuter and smaller and perhaps more clever than I go ahead of me... Not to mention the men... I have worked 100+ hour weeks, sleeping in my office. I worked my last office job for a Christian Organization till the Carpal Tunnel was so bad that I was screaming then was told that it was my fault that I didnt say something or get myself a better chair... It all got fixed when I told them I needed a better lawyer... (Sometimes faith is more than the things hoped for, its the evidence of the things not seen... Like "back up"... This is sort of a joke out of the most unjokable books in the New testament, Hebrews...)

    I have beat myself, and allowed others to beat me up for love, for money, for security, and for the perverse pleasure of being a beaten up doormat. Both mentally and sadly, physically.

    I have given my all to people, some of whom said that they loved me, others were more honest and took what I offered without thanks. the ones that told me how much they loved me and that what I did was great and above and beyond, but here is the door hurt so much worse. This includes parents and sibling, a husband, "friends" employers and life in general...

    So this week I have been walking around in a fog of numbness... Numbing myself for the "failure" of Hawaii. My failure to ajust, to go with the flow, to have Aloha,. Woody's lack of motivation and lack of Special Skills (whatever the heck that means, you have to do something totally indispensable to beat out cousin Chuckie for any job...If I hear the words "just get a flunkie job at WalMart" again, I will scream!)My lack of "specialness" that kept my from getting a decent job... the only two jobs I have held here one I left after three months when the office manager told me that I would have to start "cooking the books " and fudging on cash sales to avoid taxes, and the other at the Black Pearl Galleries where I was the only GIA certificated sales person, but was the lowest paid, and was never compensated for the design work ro the training that I gave to others. I had to quit to get them to even consider giving me an hourly raise and that was so paltry compared to what they have given others that I burst out laughing at it... It was that abuse that birthed Azure Seas Jewelry, and all that it has meant to me.

    My Child, my Beloved... I fear idolatry has set in so placing it on the altar is the best thing in the world... Selling the store, and moving on is the best thing for me no matter what. Even if we could stay which we cant...

    We had a Real Estate guy in and after he went over the numbers and looked everything over he said that no matter how you slice it, by the actual profits or the cash flow... We have been a profitable business from the beginning...a flat out miracle. A terrible location and two moves not withstanding, we turned a real profit enough for him to base a selling price that is nearly 5 times current inventory and twice our cash investment... I nearly fell on the floor...

    Could be salesmanship BS...Maybe, but what sold me was how when I said that "I felt like I had failed as I couldn't hold out till the store could support us,by way of the repair business" he was so cool and said " Hey, you just cant do this anymore, its hard and you are tired and you didnt fail at all... You did incredibly well"

    He said that again before he left. The fog has lifted somewhat. I think I can do this. Sell my dream...

    As Woody and I drove home I saw a glimpse of Wailoa Park that I have not seen before looking at it from the harbor side of Monono St. We have had torrential rains and Mauna Kea was wreathed in Dark Grey Clouds over her SNOW blanket... I failed to tell you that we came home to snow on the mountain. It is going to be a rough winter I think. I was struck by how beautiful it was and I remembered how wonderful the four months were after my former husband told me he was leaving, until he left... Im sure now that we have said "Yes we are leaving..." That the jobs will come and all will be well... Life is perverse like that.

    The separation finally came then the divorce finally came for Jeff and I, and it will come for me and my beloved Hawaii. Once we leave, sell our house, there will be no return to live here. I know that. What I love is the superficial, like Disneyland you love the outward show, but you go behind the facade and you see how ugly and ...Well you get the picture... I so long for my version of this place that the painful reality is very hard.

    I had no clue... We met so many people that warned us, but we couldn't comprehend what they were talking about. Woody likens it to the Church that we were a part of when we met. Sometimes people would just stop comming. They had been asked to not come back for one reason or another... There were other things like that that I could hardly believe until the day it happened to me. "Nothing gets you till the door hit YOU in the rear and knocks you out..." he said.

    Woody made a generous offer to me to stay here use his inheritance money to supplement his earnings and I could get a job and we would try some more... I said no that its not right that he is still unhappy and that isn't going to change... Its time to go and I am ready now.

    I can go with my head held high. I am not a failure, I did the nearly impossible with the help of Almighty God. He has lead me all the way safe thus far and can be depended upon to stay the course and lead me safely home... Where ever that may be...




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    Hokule'a at mywideblueseas@gmail.com

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    My other Blogs~

  • Its All About The Journey~Reshaping My Life,One Pound At A Time

  • My Wide Green Fields~~ The Ohio Journey

  • Hokule'a~~Star of Gladness- A Poetry Blog

  • Lux Aeterna-A Memorial Blog dedicated to those affected by the events of 9-11-2001

  • Hawaii Calls! News Views and Links from the Big Island of Hawaii

  • Remembering Annabelle


  • Join the Project.... I am Blogger 768~







    Blogs I am reading~

    Pretty Nearly Daily Reads ~

  • 922 Cats

  • Collecting My Thoughts


  • Texas Trifles

  • Shiloh Musings

  • Smoothstone...

  • Attitude of Gratitude


  • LaShawn Barber's Corner

  • Journal Of A Writing Man


  • Regeneration


  • Wheelie Catholic


  • Insightscoop


  • Bloggers over 50


  • Koinonikon-Margi


  • Christ Is In Our Midst

  • Daily Weaving


  • Glory To God For All Things


  • The Eleventh~ a blog


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    Blogs of the Ozarks, and the Tri State Region~

  • Live! From Paradise!

  • Steph's Gonna Win!

  • The More Excellent Way

  • ...just another day in paradise...

  • Deo Volente

  • When Kate Blogs

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    Focus on Israel ~~~

  • Smoothstone...

  • Jack's Random Thoughts

  • Me-Ander



  • Solomonia

  • Shiloh Musings

  • Jewish in a Gentile World





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    Abigail Valentine, my little darling ~



    Fave Dog Blogs ~


  • Chihuahua Craziness

  • Miss Sadie Shih-Tzu

  • Raina Roo's and Kitty's too puppy blog

  • Bailey's Buddy

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    Annabelle my Beloved ~

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    May She Rest In Peace 2-25-2009 ~

  • Light A Virtual Candle as a Tribute

  • Post a Tribute for Your Departed Pet



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    My Alphabetized Blogroll and Link List via blog Rolling....(* indicates a recent update!)~



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