February 09, 2008

Family Values

Beautiful Double Camellia Descanso Gardens La Canada Flintridge

Family Values
Post started 2-9-2008
Aboard American Airlines Flight 3347

Over half of the people in America die without a will
Over 90 percent of people have no long term care plan in place
Most people over 80 need some assistance with regards to daily decisions but 25 percent of them live alone with no assistance from family or spouse
There are 50 violent crimes against the elderly in Orange Co every week
If you leave an aging relative on their own without assistance due to negligence it is a misdemenour in California punishable with prison time. It is considered the same as child abuse.

"Aunt Jean, you need to think about coming to live near us… we would have days like this and there are plenty of nice homes and apartments to choose from. Didn’t we have a wonderful day today? You have gotten your money’s worth out of this trailer. It is falling apart, and isn’t safe anymore. To top that off they are robbing you on the space rent 900.00 is horrible and they are raising it too. 1200.00 a month…it’s a sin! Worse, Disney wants this land bad, its right next to the park and if the owners get their price, every trailer in this park will have to move, and yours is in such bad shape, it cant be moved. One good earthquake and its done for…

This is the only place I know, Hoku. You and Woody like it there but I don’t know if I would like it there. California is all I know

You would, the people are nice and there is plenty to see and do. I could take you round and help you…

My neighbors help me well enough…

Aunt Jean, your neighbors have been wonderful, but they are illegal aliens. You let them drive you to the store, to the doctor and they have no license, no insurance, and no green card. They don’t speak English well enough to help you. Please take your ID whenever you go out so if they get picked up, you can prove who you are. If you cant you could be deported along with them, and I cant do a thing about it. If you have a heart attack they might not call 9-11 because they don’t want to talk to the police get deported. Please consider it. Please give us the name of your doctor, and your lawyer…We need to make sure that arrangements

Please give me the chance to be as your daughter in this situation…"

She said no to everything. The trailer is unsafe and unsanitary with half of the plumbing not working right. She got the heat fixed this year but the electrical is scary and does not always work. The stove works haphazardly and oven is broken, and she wont accept meals on wheels because people have to come to her house… she doesn’t own a microwave and eats a lot of things cold or raw. The neighbors feed her as well… All home cooked foods that are traditional Mexican cooking full of fat that will cause her health to deteriorate, as she has had quadruple bypass, an aortic valve replacement and most recently a stent into one artery . Other than these things she is spry and with it mentally, only having some confusion about medical bills , which confuse the soundest of minds as you sort the various charges out...


It’s a wonder that the Mexican people next door were able to help her the way they did. Jean had a heart attack last month and her doctor wouldn’t release her to stay alone, so she stayed with one family for 19 days. She got a huge education in Third World life. The kids translated and they used sign language…but I know that her doctor would help us to move her closer to us and the family that has been so gracious wants to see her looked after.

But the same environment that allows these two families their illegal anonymity is very dangerous for a frail old lady, who some people might think is rich, due to her European bred manners and tall tales. They might break into her home thinking she has money or jewelry stashed away. In their disappointment they will hurt her, if not physically, then emotionally as they violate her privacy and tear up her home in search of non-existent valuables. The owners of the park have cut off the outside lighting and are no longer repairing the security fence. This area of Anaheim is known as the Disney Resort Area but the park is tucked away in a back alley and the police cars drive by and never pull in. It is a high priced slum where the trailers are full, two and three families in tiny single wides. It is the only afordable housing in this area, yet it is filled with enough crime that the daughters of Aunt Jean's friends are not allowed to walk uneascorted... Even around our timeshare, just a stones throw away from the trailer park, there were police and incidents requiring the police day and night. It frightens me to think she is alone there day in and out.

Other family members have not been in her home to my knowledge. Her other cousin, Betty Grace has not physically seen her in 50 years. She is 75, and in poor health and resides with a son in Bend Oregon. I have only seen Aunt Jean a handful of times in my life and never was invited into her home. I had no idea what to expect and I did give a report to Betty Grace by phone this week with regards to the situation and the condition of Jean’s living space

I was pleasantly surprised to see the order she keeps her home in. Things are not clean, thought she dusted for our coming, but everything is put somewhere, and if you didn’t know what you were looking at you would think she just has a thing for dust covers. I know differently. If you will remember my post about the death of her husband Peter , I Will Be True To The Promise I Have Made you know that this lady has made huge strides in dealing with her acute mental illness. She was Paranoid Schizophrenic, with a huge Obsessive Compulsive component for much of her life. Because I know this I know what to look for… Truth is she has covers over things because she is paranoid and is hiding her possessions. She covers up the radio and tv, and has piles and piles of stuff on her bed, all wrapped in plastic. She is paranoid about running out of paper goods and could stock the park with paper towels and TP for a year. While she is doing better about hording, (she recently with the help of Maria and Nery her neighbor ladies) she disposed of all of Peters clothing and “stuff”. She felt it was wrong to keep things that others can use. Maria told me that she is restraining her from buying more paper goods and is helping little by little to clear out the stuff, one plastic wrapped package at a time. Jean agreed that she should do this and as we talked about her moving, she said frankly she could do without most of her stuff and is sorting things out.

There will come a time soon when she wont be able to stay there. Who wil call me? No one knows that I am related to her, she is my second cousin, and how do I go about establishing this? I will need a lawyer and a whole lot of paitence. Woody tried for an hour to get her to give us the name and number of her cardiologist and her lawyer. We did find out where Peter is buried and will try to figure out what we can do long distance to make arrangements in advance. I dont dont know what I can do but I shall try to do what I can...

For her sake and the sake of a 4 year old little boy that she and her parents took into their home and raised, my father, I promise that I will not give up...


Seal Beach California

Labels: California, Faith, Family History, flowers