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My Wide Blue Seas

Its All About The Journey



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Name~ Hokule'a Kealoha

Short Bio~Hokule'a Kealoha is the Nom De Plume of a writer that formerly lived in Hawaii and is now living a life of adventure on the highways and byways of the American South . I am a Born Again follower of Jesus, as well as a wife, mother of cats and dogs,jeweler, entreprenuer, photographer and pilgrim...

Age~ Old enough to know better

Status~ Newly Single after 13 years of marriage,fur mom to the loving and devoted mini ShihTzu doggie Annabelle, born 6-11-2007 RIP 2-25-09, and the beautiful Abigail born 2-14-09

Hair Color~ natural brown/grey

Mood~ I ALWAYS have a mood, try me...

Loving~ Jesus, Hawaii, my furry friend, Abigail, my Pen Pals, Jewelry ,Blogging ,Writing anything,my Ipod,and being outdoors surrounded by my wonderful natural surroundings

Hating~ Boom Box Cars, Earspray, Abuse of Power,

Reading~
  • Bible


  • Magnificat


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  • Underwired! Louisville's magazine for Women


  • In Store~The Magazine for the American Jeweler



  • Books in Progress...
  • CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH


  • "Link"


  • "Link"





  • Just Finished Reading

  • "Link"


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  • Jesus, Divine Mercy ~
    Learn About The Divine Mercy
    I Trust In You~

    My Favorite Past Posts~Relive The Journey!~
    2009~
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  • 2008~
  • Be Thankful


  • Colateral Damage


  • Make Lemonade


  • Home Is Where The Heart Is


  • The Poor With Us


  • Because Its The Hardest Thing I Can Do


  • We Have All Become Victims


  • Lest I Forget


  • The Most Important Words


  • Family Values


  • Familiar Places


  • May Perpetual Light Shine On Them


  • A City In Motion


  • 2007~
  • The Quiet Storm


  • Fellowship of the Cane


  • Like Dead Unremembered: A 9-11 Tribute


  • The Medicine Machine


  • One Giant Leap


  • In The Steps of St. Francis


  • Too Much Information


  • The Un Choice


  • 2006~
  • The Holly and the Ivy


  • The First 9-11, Dec 7,1941


  • Small Moments of Silence


  • Peaches to Winnipeg


  • Dreaming of Hawaii


  • Memorial Day


  • Scattered Values


  • The White Line is the Lifeline for the Nation


  • Warnings of a New Civil War


  • I Will Be True To The Promise I Have Made


  • The Snowy Bloody Day


  • Cats in the Cradle


  • 2005~
  • The Journey


  • Rebirth of a City


  • For Posterity's Sake


  • The New Civil War


  • Every Mother's Son


  • And There You Stayed, Temporarily Lost at Sea


  • The Lone Rider


  • The Bible Is Not the Fourth Member of the Trinity


  • Rome Wasn't Built With Union Labor


  • Happy Birthday Mom ~revised~


  • A Beautiful Noise


  • Even Now


  • The Wearing of the Red


  • Night Ranger


  • The Joyful Traveler


  • Hoiliili "To Gather Up"


  • Ke Makakilo (My Observations)


  • He Giveth Sleep


  • Save The Children


  • 2004~
  • Lux Aeterna


  • December 2004


  • You're Joking, Right?


  • Ground Zero


  • I Am Not A Failure


  • O,To Grace, How Great A Debtor


  • Lost In Translation


  • One Small Step for Man


  • The Rainbow's End


  • Profanity


  • Taps


  • The Journey


  • Makoa's Song


  • No Aloha For The Weakest


  • The Paradoxical Comandments


  • The Time Is Now


  • 2003~
  • When No Fruit Is On The Vine



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    St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
    St. Edith Stein~Pray for Us

    Religion Link List~

  • My Secret is Mine


  • Ignatius Insight-Online Magazine


  • Fr John Corapi SOLT


  • Dr. Scott Hahn St Paul Center


  • Fr. Mitch Pacwa~ Ignatius Productions


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  • Political Link List~
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  • Arkansas Link List~
  • Little Portion Hermitage


  • John Michael Talbot website


  • John Michael Talbot Myspace page


  • 1st United Methodist Church Bella Vista


  • Northwest Arkansas Guide



  • Mimi's Cafe


  • Metro Woman Business Directory of NW Arkansas


  • River Grille


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  • Interactive Links~

    Live WebCam Feed from the Mauna Lani Resort, Kohalla, Big Island of Hawaii


    Click here for Aloha Joe!Live Hawaiian Music 24/7

    St Damein of Molokai'i,Patron Saint of Hawaii, Pray for us

    St. Damien of Molokai'i, Patron of Hawaii and the Outcasts among us, pray for us....

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    Hawaii Links~ ~
  • For more Hawaii links Click Here


  • Volcano Updates (Pele's Mood Meter)Hawaii Volcano Observatory

  • Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

  • Volcano Watch Archives

  • Mauna Kea Observatory

  • Pacific Tsunami Museum

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  • Technorotica for Blogging~





    Blogarama - The Blog Directory

    Listed on BlogShares


    Christianity Blog Directory


  • Who Links Here...Click here to see who's linking to this site. Powered by WhoLinksToMe.com

  • Globe of Blogs~Blog search engine

  • The Blog Search Engine

  • stock xchng

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  • BlogSkins

  • Link


  • Wikipedia



  • Nuzio's Place on the Web


  • Commutefaster.com


  • PING ME!


  • MWBS Wordpress Edition


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  • Technorotica for Jewelers, and the Jewelry Trade~

  • Gemological Institute of America


  • The Drouhard National Jewelers School


  • The Conner School



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  • March 24, 2005

    Even Now


    Tide Pool Reflections Punalu'u beach Park Kau

    Woody and I have been going through boxes and boxes of memorabelia much of which is going to the Hilo landfill.

    "Hoku, what is in all of these boxes in the corner...they are all crushed and falling apart, they need to be repacked or the stuff just dumped."

    "Woody, I'll go through it later..."

    "No more later. Now. I'll help you." He really has been a huge help.

    I knew this day would come... Confronting the past can be very unpleasent especially if it is well documented. I have photos, boxes of them sitting in the garage waiting for the "proper time" to go through them make a mature decision about their future and hauling them around and disposing of them and a link to a past best forgotten...

    or is it...

    There is nothing in these boxes that a schoolchild couldnt see, no porno or anything like that. Just two people, sometimes three people genuinely happy... for the moment, at least the moment in the photo... Photo Albums carefully arranged. Pictures of holidays and birthday celebrations. Days at Descanso Gardens and at the beach, or nights in Hollywood... on the Blvd and in the clubs in West Hollywood.

    Ten years of memories of another life, with another husband, and a extra boyfriend or two often both in the same photo. It was an interesting, highly emotionally charged exsistance, that was not healthy for anyone involved but I must say it was never boring. In the emotional department my life is pretty boring now. One of the reasons people go back to destructive behaviors, is that being good can seem to be pretty dull when contrasted to the risk of antisocial, or dangerous behaviors... I get it...I really do...

    My former husband, a engineer with a taste for a life a bit less straight laced than a white shirt and tie and I lived a double life. I look at those photos and can,t believe how happy I was on the outside, when I know that inside I was a divided soul that had so many emotional problems that I could write for days about it. The sort of compartimentalization I practiced leads to the worst sorts of nuerosis, and often suicide. So life wasnt good honestly, I just thought that it was at the time as I didnt know what a normal healthy life was. (Thank You Jesus for your deliverence)

    There were a number of extra people in our life, people that were more than friends that we were emotionally and otherwise involved with. What surprised me was the casual nature of this arrangement again documented on film. There was one friend that was along for most of the ride and I can safely say that he was the great love of my life, but not the marrying type, so was the third in a love triangle that was doomed from the start, as both of the guys were somewhat posessive...

    The Three Amigos...

    Woody has looked through the photos of a lot of my life. But I've tried not to show him too many of these, not because I am ashamed of my unsaved messedup self of the time. But because I didnt want him to know what I look like when I am in love... crazy in love...I didnt want to hurt his feelings one more time.

    I dont think I have ever looked at him the way I looked at the Engineer and the Pianist... The three of us arms locked around each other on Topanga Beach or in the house we shared, before God shook it to peices in the Whittier Earthquake of 1987.

    In 1994 very early in our relationship, Woody met the "Pianist" who casually showed up after my not hearing from him for several years. (I think it was the Devil trying to mess Woody and I up...) After the three of us spending the day together, Woody casually challanged the Pianist to "make a go of it with me or to get the hell out of my life as he would NOT tolerate his bouncing in and out of our life and ALL that had gone on before." Woody left. Then the Pianist left. I was alone... I did marry Woody, and I have not seen the Pianist since, other than a letter inquiring if he could borrow money which I burned.

    I took one of those photos into the bathroom and held it up to the mirror... 18 years, 100lbs and grey hair notwithstanding, that permanant frown on my face is telling...Ye Gods and little fishes what have I become?

    I cried for the good tossed outwith the evil. The relationship failed, the guys went their own ways, angry with me because my loyalties were divided. My love and adoration was required, in total,and by that time, God had gotten ahold of me and that totallity of devotion was never to be found in me again... but the love was not wrong...I dont think its wrong to love someone, acting on it is another matter...


    This magic moment today in the bathroom reminded me of a song by Barry Manilow...

    People make jokes about Mr. Manilow, but the guy can write great songs, songs that stick in your brian. He made his first fortune while married to his first wife on Madison Avenue writing commercials ... are you old enough to remember?

    Id like to teach the world to sing
    in perfect harmony.....

    name that product... many of you can. Thats a great song.

    But Barry wrote things more stickable as a performer and this is one of them. Written one night, in the dark, at his piano after a confrontation with himself his memories and his love for his new wife...an experience such as I had today, with Woody watching.


    Even Now

    Even now
    When there's someone else who cares
    When there's someone home who's waiting just for me
    Even now I think about you as I'm climbing up the stairs
    And I wonder what to do so he won't see
    That even now
    When I know it wasn't right
    And I found a better life than what we had
    Even now I wakeup crying in the middle of the night
    And I can't believe it still could hurt so bad

    Even now when I have come so far
    I wonder where you are
    I wonder why it's still so hard without you
    Even now when I come shining through
    I swear I think of you
    And how I wish you knew
    Even now

    Even now
    When I never hear your name
    And the world has changed so much since you been gone
    Even now I still remember and the feeling's still the same
    And the pain inside of me goes on and on
    Even now

    Even now when I have come so far
    I wonder where you are
    I wonder why it's still so hard without you
    Even now when I come shining through
    I swear I think of you
    And God I wish you knew
    Some how
    Even now


    They know...For we all believed what my Father told us all one night in our living room... we were still in High School and one of our friends asked him if the women in his life still ment something to him and Dad said "yes" "If you truly loved someone and you think about them then they and their love for you and your love for them never dies"...

    Some how....

    Even now...




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    Hokule'a at mywideblueseas@gmail.com

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    My other Blogs~

  • Its All About The Journey~Reshaping My Life,One Pound At A Time

  • My Wide Green Fields~~ The Ohio Journey

  • Hokule'a~~Star of Gladness- A Poetry Blog

  • Lux Aeterna-A Memorial Blog dedicated to those affected by the events of 9-11-2001

  • Hawaii Calls! News Views and Links from the Big Island of Hawaii

  • Remembering Annabelle


  • Join the Project.... I am Blogger 768~







    Blogs I am reading~

    Pretty Nearly Daily Reads ~

  • 922 Cats

  • Collecting My Thoughts


  • Texas Trifles

  • Shiloh Musings

  • Smoothstone...

  • Attitude of Gratitude


  • LaShawn Barber's Corner

  • Journal Of A Writing Man


  • Regeneration


  • Wheelie Catholic


  • Insightscoop


  • Bloggers over 50


  • Koinonikon-Margi


  • Christ Is In Our Midst

  • Daily Weaving


  • Glory To God For All Things


  • The Eleventh~ a blog


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    Blogs of the Ozarks, and the Tri State Region~

  • Live! From Paradise!

  • Steph's Gonna Win!

  • The More Excellent Way

  • ...just another day in paradise...

  • Deo Volente

  • When Kate Blogs

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    Focus on Israel ~~~

  • Smoothstone...

  • Jack's Random Thoughts

  • Me-Ander



  • Solomonia

  • Shiloh Musings

  • Jewish in a Gentile World





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    Abigail Valentine, my little darling ~



    Fave Dog Blogs ~


  • Chihuahua Craziness

  • Miss Sadie Shih-Tzu

  • Raina Roo's and Kitty's too puppy blog

  • Bailey's Buddy

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    Annabelle my Beloved ~

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    May She Rest In Peace 2-25-2009 ~

  • Light A Virtual Candle as a Tribute

  • Post a Tribute for Your Departed Pet



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