January 13, 2004
One Day At A Time
I am an Adult child of an alcoholic. My father was a brilliant but angry man who allowed his inner rage to swallow his soul... He was Manic Depresive to the extreme. Fortunatly for us he was never violent, just never "there" for us when we needed a husband or father.... He worked himself into brokeness at age 42. Spent the next 18 years struggling with ill health compounded by the bottle, and died at 60. Here was a guy that according to NASA friends "could solve problems we hadnt discovered that we had yet..." but he was never able to deal with his own issues in a constructive way. So he suffered and so did the rest of us in the family.
We "lived around" him, as my Mother used to say...classically co-dependent, she didnt see that she was giving up her right to "a life" for the sake of the situation. That was her way of dealing with it and all problems... She "lived around" her problems until she could no longer and was forced to go to the nursing home...
My brother and I left home the same week. I married the son of a wealthy man, My brother married "Mother Marine" lol... That was our way of "living around" the problems...A few years later, a bombing, and a discharge from active duty... an affair (or three of four I am ashamed to say) left us with the understanding that all of those things we tried to do to cope with the problems were not for the best. We look back on it with the mixed feelings and the wisdom gained by 20-20 hindsight. "Living Around" the situation isnt the answer. Rather meeting the challenge head on and saying "Can I live with things as they are or not...?" and have the courage to make the changes needed. I also need to ask God for the strength to meet the changes and wait on Him for the best way forward. I am slowly learning this, its a hard road but the right road.
12 Steps works... It can be a sort of religion for some but the principles work.I am not in program anymore, but a pen pal of mine sent me a little card with their ODAT (one day at a time) slogan in a verse that I liked and I keep it handy to remind myself to slow down and take a deep breath and look at things for what they are...
One Day at a Time (Psalm 28:7)
One day at a time, with its problems and tasks
One day at a time, is all that God asks
One day at a time, with work or its rest
There's no need to question, He'll send which is best
One day at a time, with its joy and its sorrow.
Look not to the part nor fear the tomorrow.
You Surely can trust Him His will is sublime
God asks you to live, One Day at a Time.
I need to really try to do this, and let go of the things that I cant change and deal with what I can do... Good advice...
Thanks Smooth~~ of Smoothstone Blog, for your comment about my writing, it made my day...
