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My Wide Blue Seas

Its All About The Journey



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Name~ Hokule'a Kealoha

Short Bio~Hokule'a Kealoha is the Nom De Plume of a writer that formerly lived in Hawaii and is now living a life of adventure on the highways and byways of the American South . I am a Born Again follower of Jesus, as well as a wife, mother of cats and dogs,jeweler, entreprenuer, photographer and pilgrim...

Age~ Old enough to know better

Status~ Newly Single after 13 years of marriage,fur mom to the loving and devoted mini ShihTzu doggie Annabelle, born 6-11-2007 RIP 2-25-09, and the beautiful Abigail born 2-14-09

Hair Color~ natural brown/grey

Mood~ I ALWAYS have a mood, try me...

Loving~ Jesus, Hawaii, my furry friend, Abigail, my Pen Pals, Jewelry ,Blogging ,Writing anything,my Ipod,and being outdoors surrounded by my wonderful natural surroundings

Hating~ Boom Box Cars, Earspray, Abuse of Power,

Reading~
  • Bible


  • Magnificat


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  • Underwired! Louisville's magazine for Women


  • In Store~The Magazine for the American Jeweler



  • Books in Progress...
  • CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH


  • "Link"


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  • Just Finished Reading

  • "Link"


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  • Jesus, Divine Mercy ~
    Learn About The Divine Mercy
    I Trust In You~

    My Favorite Past Posts~Relive The Journey!~
    2009~
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  • 2008~
  • Be Thankful


  • Colateral Damage


  • Make Lemonade


  • Home Is Where The Heart Is


  • The Poor With Us


  • Because Its The Hardest Thing I Can Do


  • We Have All Become Victims


  • Lest I Forget


  • The Most Important Words


  • Family Values


  • Familiar Places


  • May Perpetual Light Shine On Them


  • A City In Motion


  • 2007~
  • The Quiet Storm


  • Fellowship of the Cane


  • Like Dead Unremembered: A 9-11 Tribute


  • The Medicine Machine


  • One Giant Leap


  • In The Steps of St. Francis


  • Too Much Information


  • The Un Choice


  • 2006~
  • The Holly and the Ivy


  • The First 9-11, Dec 7,1941


  • Small Moments of Silence


  • Peaches to Winnipeg


  • Dreaming of Hawaii


  • Memorial Day


  • Scattered Values


  • The White Line is the Lifeline for the Nation


  • Warnings of a New Civil War


  • I Will Be True To The Promise I Have Made


  • The Snowy Bloody Day


  • Cats in the Cradle


  • 2005~
  • The Journey


  • Rebirth of a City


  • For Posterity's Sake


  • The New Civil War


  • Every Mother's Son


  • And There You Stayed, Temporarily Lost at Sea


  • The Lone Rider


  • The Bible Is Not the Fourth Member of the Trinity


  • Rome Wasn't Built With Union Labor


  • Happy Birthday Mom ~revised~


  • A Beautiful Noise


  • Even Now


  • The Wearing of the Red


  • Night Ranger


  • The Joyful Traveler


  • Hoiliili "To Gather Up"


  • Ke Makakilo (My Observations)


  • He Giveth Sleep


  • Save The Children


  • 2004~
  • Lux Aeterna


  • December 2004


  • You're Joking, Right?


  • Ground Zero


  • I Am Not A Failure


  • O,To Grace, How Great A Debtor


  • Lost In Translation


  • One Small Step for Man


  • The Rainbow's End


  • Profanity


  • Taps


  • The Journey


  • Makoa's Song


  • No Aloha For The Weakest


  • The Paradoxical Comandments


  • The Time Is Now


  • 2003~
  • When No Fruit Is On The Vine



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    St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
    St. Edith Stein~Pray for Us

    Religion Link List~

  • My Secret is Mine


  • Ignatius Insight-Online Magazine


  • Fr John Corapi SOLT


  • Dr. Scott Hahn St Paul Center


  • Fr. Mitch Pacwa~ Ignatius Productions


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  • Political Link List~
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  • Arkansas Link List~
  • Little Portion Hermitage


  • John Michael Talbot website


  • John Michael Talbot Myspace page


  • 1st United Methodist Church Bella Vista


  • Northwest Arkansas Guide



  • Mimi's Cafe


  • Metro Woman Business Directory of NW Arkansas


  • River Grille


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  • Interactive Links~

    Live WebCam Feed from the Mauna Lani Resort, Kohalla, Big Island of Hawaii


    Click here for Aloha Joe!Live Hawaiian Music 24/7

    St Damein of Molokai'i,Patron Saint of Hawaii, Pray for us

    St. Damien of Molokai'i, Patron of Hawaii and the Outcasts among us, pray for us....

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    Hawaii Links~ ~
  • For more Hawaii links Click Here


  • Volcano Updates (Pele's Mood Meter)Hawaii Volcano Observatory

  • Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

  • Volcano Watch Archives

  • Mauna Kea Observatory

  • Pacific Tsunami Museum

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  • Technorotica for Blogging~





    Blogarama - The Blog Directory

    Listed on BlogShares


    Christianity Blog Directory


  • Who Links Here...Click here to see who's linking to this site. Powered by WhoLinksToMe.com

  • Globe of Blogs~Blog search engine

  • The Blog Search Engine

  • stock xchng

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  • BlogSkins

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  • Wikipedia



  • Nuzio's Place on the Web


  • Commutefaster.com


  • PING ME!


  • MWBS Wordpress Edition


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  • Technorotica for Jewelers, and the Jewelry Trade~

  • Gemological Institute of America


  • The Drouhard National Jewelers School


  • The Conner School



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  • July 20, 2004

    One Small Step for a Man...

    Thirty Five years ago today, our world changed, We had, through an effort not seen outside of wartime experience, pushed back the frontiers and landed on another world. It was a monumental achievement, due in large part to the vision of what we now call " The Greatest Generation".  From first flight to space flight in less than a century is flat out amazing. I don't believe we today have the vaguest notion of the blessing and benefits of this effort, nor the staggering costs in money materials and human life and potential that went into the Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo Programs.
     
    When I speak of the cost of human life, yes, I do mean the Astronauts that have died in flight and on the ground, but I mostly mean the men and women that worked themselves to death literally to meet a deadline...To win the "Space Race" that really was a real war fought against the Russians, to be the first to the moon and to secure it against the communist threat... This was a very real threat...The very thought that a weapons platform could be built and used to launch nuclear missiles was a real possibility and one of the uses that the Space Shuttle was designed for... But I digress.
     
    How do I know all of this... I and my family were a part of the human wreckage left behind. My father, caught up in the vision of this incredible idea that we could send men into space and get them home again safely, was all consuming and for nearly 10 years he devoted his entire life to the research and development phases of the environmental and propulsion systems of these space craft. He ate, slept, and lived for this... And not only him, but thousands of people did. People slept in offices and lounges, had meals for days and days brought in and worked at this war effort with a single mindedness that dot commers in the 90's spoke of with admiration...What was the fruit of this effort, beyond the "one small step for a man..." And the thousands upon thousands of modern conveniences we take for granted each day....
     
    On the other hand there were darker realities...
     
    At the firm in California where my father worked there were three deaths a week, at least one of those was a suicide....
     
    People died, from heart attacks, sleeping drug overdoses, and alcohol abuse... People divorced, relationship deteriorated and fell by the wayside, I remember my fathers secretary coming to our house black and blue from her manager husbands beating, I was four and I shall never forget the haunted look of the disillusioned... She went home the next day to find him dead in his car in the garage, overcome by carbon monoxide poisoning. Children were neglected grew into despondent and angry teens and joined others of their kind in the 60's counter culture, where drugs and the hippie lifestyle were a stark contrast to the white shirt and tie world of NASA and the government/military culture of their parents.
     
    My father had many demons, He was a high school grad that worked his way into aero space through the assembly lines at Hughes aircraft. He was driven by many demons. He was an angry man, bent on proving his value to the world. He was also a perfectionist who clung to guilt like a life line. This sort of person is so exploitable... He took on more and more projects. (At the time that he left North American Aviation in 1969, he had 33 end items or projects on his desk. He was replaced by 4 engineers, 4 designers and 3 draftsmen.)This was a profession fraught with problems and possibilities, there were many things that nobody really knew how it was going to turn out. And some things, which we saw in "Apollo 13" that were creative but required reworking... I read a memo that Dad had saved that said, "Call Roberts at Downey R&D, he has the answered to problems that we haven't even thought of yet..."

    And sometimes they that called upon his inventiveness listened, and sometimes they did not...He knew that the oxygen enriched atmosphere in the space capsule was a death wish waiting to happen. He was told that it would be looked into and when the fateful day came for that trial run and those poor men burned to death on the pad in front of a stunned helpless group of well meaning but exhausted scientists, it spurred him into a greater frenzy of activity. We never saw him at home...
     
    My brother told me once that he didn't know really who our father was until he was 4 or 5 . That was when my mother collapsed and was hospitalized and Dad had to give up the space race for a month and look after us. I remember during that period, one day,  being picked up at school being taken home, dressed in a fancy party dress and being taken to a NASA staff meeting. I remember sitting in the back of the room listing to all of this discussion, then later going the the local watering hole, where I was fussed over and treated like the little princess... Perhaps that is how I developed my taste for older men...
     
    Never eating, living on alcohol and sleeping pills, Pushing and pushing himself mentally and physically to meet the demands, then he was told that he needed to "take some time off" and was handed a pink slip. The next day was Landing  and  that fateful afternoon, July 20, 1969...Seeing Neil Armstrong climb down that ladder was a stunning moment...We stared all four of us, at the TV, then I noticed the tears. My father's tears. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry. My mother took us away we went to our rooms and for the next three weeks we were house bound. Drapes drawn and silent as my father collapsed into a mental breakdown that he never recovered from. He attempted suicide, and begged my mother for the pistol that she had secreted away months ago. She never gave out what happened during that event, but I do know that he tore the house up and beat her for the first and only time in 30 years of marriage. The "Long Night" as I call it, ended, when he agreed to enter a mental hospital.  He weighed 125 lbs and was so malnourished and ill that the doctors there said that if they could keep him alive two weeks the could help him.
     
    He returned to us two years later, broken in spirit, not the man he was at all, and still a bonafied alcoholic with a drug habit. Unable to work, to cope with any strife or conflict,  or to be a husband or father, he lived with us for 20 more years and died of multiple cancers and arterial sclerosis from smoking...he was 64.  
     
    Many people ask me when they find out about my background, "hey, what about Mars?" "What do you think about the Space Station?" I smile and say... "We are not committed enough. We lost two Shuttles for this lack of commitment to the program and they are so outdated technologically that I have my doubts about their future." We have no commitments to the effort as a people or a government. Until the Space program is of national interest, and we are in a position to pay the cost and I do mean all of the costs and the sacrifices needed, we will not see that day. Its a bigger effort than most can comprehend, and for those of us that have paid the price, we are not sure we want to pay it again...



    Postscript
     
    See this very good article from MSN on this subject

    I wrote this on the fly, and I have ajusted some of the data. I also realized that I had more to say...(Thanks Smooth for the Comment)
     
    I think that the reason that my father had his breakdown  on the physical he was a dead man walking, he was in such bad shape. Runners doing marathons sometimes just colapse at the finish line and have been semiconcious for a while but keep on running...on the emotional level, I think he felt his life was over. It was all that he had lived for all that gave him value. I never heard him say this, but I think I understand having gone through a similar but less harrowing, experience, that broke my health, and really has damaged my relationships including that with my God. We cannot as humans, use anything outside of the Divine to measure our worth. We are created in His image, and in my faith I believe that He paid the Ultimate price for my eternal security. As far as I can tell, my father paid lip service to his Creator,  never placing his trust in Him, prefering to have faith in alcohol, antidepressants, and my mother's piety to make his way in this world and the next. That is the ultimate tragedy to me...As he lay dying, in a isolation ward, of a rabid infection in a body that wouldnt heal, I held his hand and begged God for mercy. Beyond confession, I dont know what became of him on the eternal level, but as I wrote in a post a few weeks ago, his feeling and mine is that when you love someone and dont forget that love, you never truly die..









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    Hokule'a at mywideblueseas@gmail.com

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    My other Blogs~

  • Its All About The Journey~Reshaping My Life,One Pound At A Time

  • My Wide Green Fields~~ The Ohio Journey

  • Hokule'a~~Star of Gladness- A Poetry Blog

  • Lux Aeterna-A Memorial Blog dedicated to those affected by the events of 9-11-2001

  • Hawaii Calls! News Views and Links from the Big Island of Hawaii

  • Remembering Annabelle


  • Join the Project.... I am Blogger 768~







    Blogs I am reading~

    Pretty Nearly Daily Reads ~

  • 922 Cats

  • Collecting My Thoughts


  • Texas Trifles

  • Shiloh Musings

  • Smoothstone...

  • Attitude of Gratitude


  • LaShawn Barber's Corner

  • Journal Of A Writing Man


  • Regeneration


  • Wheelie Catholic


  • Insightscoop


  • Bloggers over 50


  • Koinonikon-Margi


  • Christ Is In Our Midst

  • Daily Weaving


  • Glory To God For All Things


  • The Eleventh~ a blog


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    Blogs of the Ozarks, and the Tri State Region~

  • Live! From Paradise!

  • Steph's Gonna Win!

  • The More Excellent Way

  • ...just another day in paradise...

  • Deo Volente

  • When Kate Blogs

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    Focus on Israel ~~~

  • Smoothstone...

  • Jack's Random Thoughts

  • Me-Ander



  • Solomonia

  • Shiloh Musings

  • Jewish in a Gentile World





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    Abigail Valentine, my little darling ~



    Fave Dog Blogs ~


  • Chihuahua Craziness

  • Miss Sadie Shih-Tzu

  • Raina Roo's and Kitty's too puppy blog

  • Bailey's Buddy

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    Annabelle my Beloved ~

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    May She Rest In Peace 2-25-2009 ~

  • Light A Virtual Candle as a Tribute

  • Post a Tribute for Your Departed Pet



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