November 11, 2004

In Answer

Sky Pathways

You know, I hear such anguish in your postings about leaving the island. Two halves of your soul, and each wanting a different direction on the compass. What it boils down to is very simple - money. Everyone spouts the tired crap about how money is not everything - but just try and live without it. If you and Woody had a small fortune put aside to live on, then the island would be the paradise that we all dream of. Without it, for the everyday working man, the island becomes a prison. It is no different here in Texas or any of the other 50 states mainland. When you have to work 8-5, five days a week, 51 weeks out of the year, and worry monthly about how to pay the bills, it really doesn't matter where you are living. Life becomes a drudge, just goes with the territory of not being born a Platinum Spoon Child. Just my take on things at the moment.
Cowtown Pattie

I started to post a comment to this but feel the need to do two things, Thank Pattie for her compassion, and for grasping the truth of the situation , because so many dont. ...We have had a running dialogue for the last week or two about it and I want to blog it... first my comment

thanks I am afraid that this is true... We had a good life in CA, but I dont know if it would have stayed good as these things changed...

9-11-01...

my great well paying PT job no longer exists as the Credit Union I was working for eliminated the dept in 2002... Im not sure what I would have done with myself at that point.

My Mother would have required my constant attention and working even part time would have been impossible, it was getting that way before we left and she was still living on her own.

Woody's Mom died, and with her, went the Estate payments that hed been getting for years... 25%of our income or all of our extra money ended. I dont think we would ever have made it without it, for those first 6 years. Woody is just now undertanding this. Its not all Hawaii, its his inability to really earn a living. Hes an average guy but has always earned a living selling or doing CSR work and has no manual trade. Hes worked but I dont think hes ever earned more than 28k a year (I was at 40K and the "breadwinner" when I had my health breakdown at 35, just after we were married... its now questionable at this point how much work I can do or what...)We live with basics now, a very basic life, no cable,cel phone, going out or health insurance, 10 year old cars that are ok but scary, thank God they have held up so well with no maitainance...

Woody is living with broken dentures, high blood pressure and untreated diabetes as of Nov 1 thanks to his creep employer... and I well I know that I have some major issues... but its better that I dont know too much right now. I need insurance first.

Dear Friends, there will be money soon. Woody has a legacy comming from his sister that passed away a year ago and the estate was in probate before they found us in July. There will be funds and its a large sum, at least to me, most of which is well invested. Thats why there was any left at all... 4/5 of the Estate was lost mismanaged, taxed or paid out in fees because of a familiy misunderstanding, If Woody had received the whole amount we would be... well... it could provide the missing "extra" wed need out of the intrest alone, and provide a secure retirement if there is such a thing any more...as it is if the market grows steady we will have a bit of a nest egg but we expect to always have to work at something...

Our home is still escalating in value at an incredible rate. Its nearly tripled in value in the three years we have owned it and we have people crusing up and down the street looking at it. I feel like roadkill being stalked by a vulture...

Yes, this is the "Ark", that I spoke of a few weeks ago, a means to leave Hawaii no matter what.

Yes, its holiday time and I am doing ok with the store not great but we shall see how things go. If Azure Seas doesnt sell for at least the tenant improvements by the end of the sales agreement with the agent I will place it on Ebay for bid. Hey its something and you would be amazed at how well that works. In the mean time I hope to get enough in the sales of the inventory to pay off debts (not many thankfully) and put cash in the bank for retreading myself where ever I go. If we go to Mansfield, I will persue jewelry repair again as there is a need for people in the many stores in the Ohio area. (they recruit through the school)or I may try something else. Im adaptable...

Which brings me to my husband... 55, fat, white and confused about what he should do next. I dont know what to say to him about it anymore... A year ago I was so angry with him for his passiveness, now I have not the energy to flog him emotionally anymore.

When I was 26, a mental paitent, clingy, dependent... I was forced out on my own, and I made it. It was hard. I needed 2.5 dates a week and did a lot of free munchies happy hours to stay alive. But I did it and with in 5 years I was a homeowner on my own... I must say this. I dont know if under the present economic circumstances I could still do that. I know that Woody would never have made it. He always had roommates and help from Mom and Dad. I lived alone and from the first weeks that I had a job, it was open season on my earnings. Always they wanted money, my parents did...on the other hand... I found bags of groceries on my doorstep..(I know that it was my divorce lawyer and his wife, who were also my first Christian Friends...)

Woody cannot comprehend the struggle. God must know this as He gave him a bail out AGAIN. not that I am not greatful. I dragged us to the back room of the shop yesterday when the lawyer called and explained how things had worked out in probate court. We prayed, thanking God. I want to believe Woody was sincere, I know that I was... This is a bonefide answer to prayer miracle. Woody just expected God to help like a child, I groaned for this in agony of spirit... Who has more faith?

Pattie is right... Money is the necessary grease to the wheels of life. Just try to live without it. That aint living that is existing, I want to live. I dont mind the 8-5 5 day a week job But I resent the 8-7 6 day a week job(s) you must work here if you are to make it, and so do a lot of other people. With the high price of real estate comes higher taxes. People were calling into the governors radio show this morning angry about "how you work so hard now you gotta work harder and where does it stop?" Woody said to the radio "when they have killed you by crushing the life out of you, by robbing you of your childrens growing up, your retirement, and in many cases running you off your ancestral lands for taxes..." I emailed this to Gov Lingle. Its true of all of us, not just Hawaii...

Where does it end? How do you retirees live? How do you parents of little ones do it?
How do you get the right job that you can do to earn enough to make a living? Somehow I have missed the boat as I have "retreaded" four times since highschool and I am 42, and Im going to be unemployed in 3 months?

We are going to Ohio or someplace like it with a lower standard of living and decent wages. Median income there is 40K. If we have no bills we can live on 15k, we did that here last year. maybe if I am somewhere else things will be better... I dont know anymore...

Where should we go? Any suggestions?