November 23, 2004

Mistaken Identity

Lavafalls flowing of Piluma Pali to the seas. HVO photo

I started to blog last night when a horrendous lightning storm rocked through here knocking out power for some and scaring the poor cats to death. Once I realzed this was not going to stop I shut down the computers and sat out on the covered Lanai with my brave but trembling kitties snuggled up to me as I wrote Christmas cards and penpal letters to the beat of the thunder roaring over the ocean. It was Awesome. This is my Hawaii at her most fearsome though the photo I have on this post sort of sums awesomeness up for most people. Nothing like a errupting volcano... In fact since I didnt see the flash I thought that the volcano was popping its top and my first thought was " Oh Great Mauna Loa is going off now the property values will take a dive..." Silly me...

Woody is in the process of making an offer really a back up offer on a lovely home in Mount Vernon Ohio. Yes in these days of doing everything via the internet sight unseen, other than the lovely pics on line we were sent. If the house is at least as lovely as its pictured I will enjoy living there. A fully renovated victorian built around 1900, large home small yard, but situated so its private and has a front porch that I will do most of my living on. Like I said a back up offer, its in escrow, but the financing hurtle is looking insurmountable for these folks so we shall see. The price is so embarasingly low that I blush at the thought of announcing it.

We have had a death in the family... maybe two in a way... My mother's cousin Norma Jean Cron was like an aunt to me, and was the relation that lived the closest to my family as I was growing up. She was a young 65, (I think) and died peacefully in her sleep. The service was yesterday in California. I regret not spending more time with her and her family as an adult. I know that her religion was a difficulty for my Mom who loved her like a sister. Norma's mother was a convert to Mormonism, and her children and grand children practice that faith. Personally I am surprised that more of my family is NOT Mormon given that much of the tribe resides in Arizona with branches scattered all over the country including me in this most remote place on the planet. I wasnt notified of this event... Im ok with that

How ever I wasnt prepared when my Mom was so upset when I spoke to her on our usual sunday morning phone call. She was so upset because "Norma died"... well, I thought, she was 65 ish and these things happen. Then my Mom said "No No No, not Norma Cron, But Aunt Imas Norma..." This Norma is MY cousin the daughter of my mothers sister, several years younger than myself. My Mom was nearly hysterical about how young she was ect... and we had had little to do with this gal in all of her life as they lived so far away from us... So I tried to console her and told her that things happen for the best and that she should just relax. I asked her how she found out and she said that my brother told her...Hmmm. When I asked how he heard about it Mom said that Aunt Ima called him...

This stuck me as odd. The grieving Mother calls the nephew she hardly knows to tell him that her daughter is dead? I didnt think so. My Mother made me promise on a stack of Bibles that I would send Aunt Ima a sympathy card... I of course did nothing of the sort but waited till the intel came from my source of all family wisdom, my cousin Lyn who straightened me out on who died and when...

My brother doesnt know who died either... He didnt know beyond a name these ladies. I think that speaks for the sad state of our family relations. Nothing on him, mind you, hes not the social type and we spent very little time with family growing up or since then. So Mom asks him "Which Norma" and he doesnt know who and our family relations are reduced to nothing more than the Abbott and Costello sketch of " Whos on First?"

Then there is my Mom, who I now realize has lost her ability to rationalize what had happened...to figure it out... This lady was a huge help in taking care of her, and I will miss that help, my Mom will miss this lady that she loved. I dont understand why my Aunt failed to tell Mom herself, or all of these details... I just know that when I call here to tell her that I am comming to see her next week that I will the one to give her the sad news...

Death is a hard thing. It is hard when you realize that you will not see that person again in this life... harder still for those of us that believe that chioces are made in this life that affect the hereafter. I choose to believe that God is the Judge and He alone knows how these things play out. For me the missing the loved one in the here and now is enough sorrow.

I also need to commit to getting to know all of these that I am related to a tad bit better, if this incedent shows me anything is how little I know of these that share my blood and heritage. Just as Woody feels he failed in keeping in touch with his sister who died alone and intestate... this is an ignorance that I cannot afford to ignore any longer...