December 25, 2004
"Hamakua" or Breath of Heaven
The verdant Shore. Keaukaha, Hilo
I love that word "Hamakua"... it means "Gods Breath", and I am told that the scent of the morning on our north coast is "hamakua"...nice...
I first heard this beautiful song by Amy Grant oh 10 years ago, and if you have ever wondered as I have what was really going on in Mary's heart as they trudged along... The beginnings of labor setting in, wondering what people will say as they are not married... I think this is a merest hint of it... and it is also an invitation to allow that "Breath of Heaven" to permeate your own souls, and take a rest... I know that I could use this... alot right now...
Breath of Heaven
I have traveled
many moonless nights,
Cold and weary
with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I've done.
Holy Father, You have come,
And chosen me now
to carry Your Son.
I am waiting
in a silent prayer.
I am frightened
by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now....
Breath of Heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of Heaven.
Breath of Heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me Your holiness,
For You are holy.
Breath of Heaven.
Do you wonder
as you watch my face,
If a wiser one
should have had my place,
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be....
Strong...
Breath of Heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of Heaven.
Breath of Heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me Your holiness,
For You are holy.
Breath of Heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of Heaven.
Breath of Heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me Your holiness,
For You are holy.
Breath of Heaven.
Breath of Heaven.
Breath of Heaven.
Postscript. I had some comments that got me to thinking more about this song and the personal history behind it...Yes I am blowing it too. Cried all morning... I am having a really hard time holding together as this dream of mine is unraveling... I wish that I could just close the door and not come back... go on to the next thing with out any more pain, but the worst is yet to come I think.
I heard this song done the first time by a friend and fellow worship leader that knew that our church family was about to fly apart at the seams and it seemed that only she and her husband knew all of the gripes of all the parties and were a sort of ground zero emotionally. I remember her breaking down at the "help me be strong" and wondering why...She told me that the emotional earth beneath her shook everytime she and her husband performed it... Some songs are like that, I was to do this same song a few years later... with the understanding of hindsight, breaking down at the same spot...Who knows, Ms Grant recorded this near the end of her first marraige, maybe the pathos is built in..
I think having Christmas so close to the end of the year...all of the reflecting you do with the season sort of breaks you down if you arent aware. We think of the haves and the have nots, the things we have and have not and the hidden hurts of the year pour out. Woody and I are really struggling in this right now and like he said..."Its the losses the continual losses, and you cry out to God knowing He hears but often chooses not to answer immediatly or in a way you understand right away..." Pretty profound thoughts from a guy who is self confessed philisophical mud puddle... not very deep and sort of murky.
Letting go and allowing God His will and His way is the great challenge of my life and most peoples lives... It is the way to holiness...
