December 29, 2004

To a Penpal...

Leis Selvn Chance Photo


Today I want to celebrate my most enduring relationships, outside of my Mother and my brother, and you know, you cant pick family...

Over Christmas break in 1974, I embarked on...well this is more than a hobby. For me the people that I write to are as much a part of my family, and are my friends as are those that I see face to face. At times they were my only support group and cheerleading squad, and when I am alone, nothing cheers me up quite like reading either a new letter just arrived or an old one waiting for an answer...

I estimate that I have written to over 500 different people in the course of these past thirty years. Each person has a story and it unfolds as we get to know each other. Pen palling its self has given me lots of funny stories to tell... for example..

When I was struggling through my first Christmas season without my first husband in 1988, I began to receive more than my usual one or two "introduction" letters (people wanting a new pal) a month. I was getting 5 to 10 then 15 then 30...every day I got more and more of them. They came bundled, stuffed through the mail slot of my lonely house, I was astonished. I was amazed when the mail was on my front porch in BUCKETS...I opened then all, but stopped counting them at 500. I only answered a relative few, and perhaps that was 30-40 I dont remember, but out of that came my core group that I have been writing to since for over 15 years... I told every pal I wrote to at the time about this marvelous, mysterious flood of mail and how every night I looked forward to it... to reading each letter from every corner of the earth... Finally, my pal Avis, in Singapore, confessed that she placed my name in a number of English penpal journals, as she thought that " I was lonely and needed something to do and maybe I could find a new husband and... and... and hoped that I was not angry with her... (Never) The flood abated but trickled on for the next FIVE years...

I will bless her name for the rest of my days...

As a lonely teen that was barely able to express herself with a pen, it taught me to "think about how the reader will understand your writing, and to write carefully. I went on to get an 800 on the English portion of my SAT (we wont talk about the math portion, I am mathematically still illiterate)The stories of peers in diverse places like East Germany, Poland, Israel, Korea, India and the former USSR, living under difficult conditions, helped me to see that while I had it hard in a lot of ways, I was blessed beyond imagining. I wrote to young and old, men and women. I have been proposed to, proselytized (both by Muslims) scorned for my faith and a dear Russian lady wished to adopt me. I witnessed through their eyes the fall of the Iron Curtain with a Lithuanian German pal describing the night the wall fell for she was there with he husband and a sledgehammer! I have gained an insight on the world and that nothing can match short of going there yourself.

Parents, I can think of no better way to broaden a child's horizons then to help them have a friend on the other side of the world ... It is a special thing

I give a hug and a Lei and dedicate the following poem sent to me years ago by my beloved Iris, from Germany , (my sister that has a different mother I think) to all of my pals that are currently writing to me... First my core group

Iris ~ Germany
John W. ~ England
Allison ~ England
Wendy ~ England
Janina ~ Lithuania-Germany
Dolly ~ Hong Kong
Vigdis ~ Norway
Andrea ~ Germany

then my newer friends

Germanee~ Texas
Lisa~ England
Lauren~ New York
Juathena~ Oklahoma
Carolyn~ Illinois
Jennifer~ Alaska
LeighAnn ~ Ohio
Emese ~ Hungary
Mary B~ Alaska
Judy A ~ Arizona
Judy C ~ Washington
Karin ~ Illinois
Kathy C ~ Iowa
Maureen ~ England
Kim ~ California
Tina ~ Michigan
James ~ Arkansas
Elizabeth ~ England
Suzanne ~ Belgium
Delores ~ Arkansas
Irina ~ Ukraine
Marina ~ Russia
Jean ~ Montana
Sherry ~ Texas
Edith~ Kentucky
Paris ~ Australia
Colin ~ New Zealand
Cat ~ Canada
Debbie ~ Massachusetts
Nancy ~ California
Shirley ~ Idaho
Louise ~ Alabama
Carol ~ Virginia
Linda ~ Wyoming
Carin~ Ohio
Angelika~ Germany
Teresa ~ N. Carolina
Jay ~ Ohio
Rachel ~ S. Carolina
Patti ~ California
Rene ~ Cuba
Louise R. ~ Pennsylvania
Cornelia~ Switzerland
Marilyn ~ Michigan
Arlene ~ Rhode Island
Yonnie ~ Illinois
Ruth ~ Florida
Mary Anne ~ New Hampshire
Carole ~ England
Nancy ~ Kansas
Natasha ~ Ukraine
Ingrid ~ the Netherlands
Sheila ~ England
Keiko ~ Japan
Kathy ~ Illinois
Pairvi ~ Finland
Margie ~ N Carolina
Dara ~ New Jersey

To A Pen Pal

We have been friends for a number of years now. I don't remember who wrote first, but it will never matter. You cheer me up when I am at my lowest and I share your hopes and fears. We talk of everyday occurrences as if we were neighbors. There are times I need to talk to someone, and those closest to me won't do. I need an unbiased opinion, and so I pick up my pen and paper and write to you. You don't give me flowery phrases, you give me honesty and warmth. I can count on you and expect you to do the same. I know that it is possible that we will never meet, but no matter, it just might spoil something perfect. We never have to dust the house or straighten a room to visit. We have coffee together, though we are miles apart. When the postman brings me only bills, my disappointment stays with me for hours. I worry when I don't hear from you, hoping that you are not ill. We write in the early hours of the morning and late into the night. We share a special kind of trust which enables us to share the deepest secrets of our hearts. You know my faults and accept me just as I am, seeing only the best side of my nature. I thank you for your faith in me,and your kind human ways. I thank God for having let me find you, my special friend...

God Bless You each and every one... I am proud to call you friends