February 22, 2005
"Repeat That Again Please?"
My Wide Blue Seas above Honoka'a
These seem to be my favorite words these days along with..."I'm Sorry" "I no longer have that is stock." "This IS the sale price, you are getting a GREAT deal." "Im doing the best that I can." "Im really tired and I dont know if I will have time but I will try." These last two to Woody, and to my kitties... "I love you and we are going to be OK."
Its pathetic. I feel like I am about to colapse.
I probably have 35-50 items left of an inventory of several thousand. My goal is to sell everything that I had by the end of this week. Woody is having a cow as he thinks I am giving our inventory away. Stupid, as its really worth only what money you have in your pocket and not in a box... He was mad that I wasnt selling it now he is mad that I am. I personally think it is jelousy as I have gotten my closing rate back up to 80 percent. I can sell anything if the price is right. So could anyone if they smile and talk it up. He cant seem to close a door these days let alone a sale and Im sure its frustrating to him.Woody is angry and gets agressive when people want to bargan and has been getting that way with me too. I guess we all deal with stress differently. The wonder to me is that not just the jewelry is going but all of the fixtures, cabinets, stuff. You wouldnt believe what people want to buy. I find myself selling things that well. Id give away. I sold a car load of newer things to a second hand store and she said shed take another. All of the stuff I was going to sell on ebay... sold in the shop this week what a answer to prayer!
But its overwelming. I am so far behind on the paperwork that I shall never catch up. I cant tell where we are, I just look at the Credit card reports daily and go "Mercy Sakes Alive!, I cant believe it..." Too many transactions!
As I dismantle my world, Woody doesnt understand that this is not a "relief", but rather a very pain filled process that hurts beyond imagining. I cannot invision this "new" life, or going back to what ever it was that I was before. I have few hopes that things will be better. Because you are "home" where ever it is that you are. If problems are not resolved they just follow you. He doesnt get this. I know this fact far too well. As I said before, I have a lot of identity issues and I am wrapped up in all of this and while I know its good to lay it down, its hard to do.
As things are falling into place, I know that my God is with me and is keeping me in the "upright and locked position" Without Him I would have colapsed long before now and likely will when this is over. Whenever that is for at this point it could be a long time maybe months before we are settled again.
The wife of the couple that offered on the house was here friday and really likes the house, but wants a bunch of inspections and its her agent that is pushing for a lot of things to be changed, fixed, painted ect... Woody was here for the walk through and heard it all . He isnt happy and as we dont have the money to put much more into the place I dont invision anything getting done and they will buy the place anyway as it will pass inspection no worries. There isnt going to be time for us to do much of anything and I will offer to carry back a second for funds that they can use to do it should they not have the money. Woody said he hadnt thought of it and gave me an atta girl. The people have not a clue how life is here and we are saying nothing. I just hope they dont need to work...
Its not all gloom and doom here I am learning to use
the new phone It realy is like having a little computer in your pocket. I hope to be able to up date this blog while I am on the road and the camera is not too bad. But it isnt as easy as a regular cel phone and will take some practice to use it. I make a point to play with it twice a day, and wonder of wonders I am reading the manual.
Thank you all for the prayers and support. It is wonderful.
