February 24, 2005
T minus 48 hours and counting...
Paradise Hamakua Laupahoehoe point
My baby has two more days of life left... thats really how I feel about the business and there is this growing sick emptiness inside of me. I think "next week, I wont even be able to come here again. I wont have a key, it wont be mine and this part of my life is over, and there is nothing here for me... It will be gone, dismantled and no longer exist..."
To look at the store, you'd not think it possible. Most of the inventory is sold, and people are comming to get things that they wanted to buy, and placed on hold... the full size refigerator, the table I bought on a lark from a boutique in Orange County that had a wrought iron chair. One lady keeps comming in with a list..."do you still have a microwave? Bookshelves are in big demand here. We have sold all of the ones we own...woody may have sold his car today, that would be a huge blessing and we need to sell mine too soon.
People want strange things, the small set up peices and the drapes, the silk flowers and the small shelf that held a tray below the mirrior used to try things on. The tiny ceramic tray, purchased in Williamsburg VA a momento of a lovely vacation there has come home tonight as will a number of other things. The things we dont want to sell. There is little that people dont want, for a song at least.
What is left of the inventory is large peices, Two tahitian pearl strands and a slide, my most expensive items. Gemstone link braceltes and some odds and ends. We believe that there is a home for each item we just need to find it.
On the home front...Today was likely the most trying time of the home selling process. I stayed home to meet the buyer and help her if she needed technical questions answered regarding the phone lines which she wanted to "test". Not knowing what this test is, I had her sign a contract stating that she would be responsible for any charges she would incure and let her have the phone. For two hours she worked on translating depostions for a insurance company spanish to english. Because there are privicy concerns, the agent and myself had to go outside the house so we sat in her SUV for two hours. She worked and was paid for her time on my phone... the gall of it. There was nothing special about it. She had no special equipment, she used my cheap 10.00 Walmart phone and did what ever...
They also had a home inspector come out today and he was very professional, complimentary on the house, knowing the builder. He went and tested all the appliances and looked in the attic. Went on the roof and found it sound. Was very complimentary in fact... Ms Buyer wanted a Mold test done. I tried not to laugh. MOLD TEST? This is Hawaii land of fungi... Mold is everywhere. But Mr inspector laughed and said "Lady, that attic is so clean it looks like someone went up and vacumned it.There is no mold up there". She proceeded to start to turn on every appliance and light on in the house "wanting to see if she could pop a circut breaker..." I ran around turning things off and told her that her inspector that she just paid 500.00 bucks to said "impossible" to that idea I heard him. She then wanted to measure the house every room and every wall. This little "one hour interview" had lasted 4 hours, with two of them on the frigging phone. She did this. I sit here and still cant believe it.
I dont know how long this would have gone on, but both her agent and myself were steaming. She was constantly turning things on and leaving them run, taps, lights and appliances..."I want to see if they work." The thing came to a head when I saw her pick up one of my rosewood chairs and lug it out to the Lanai to "stand on so she could see if she could ajust the speed of the fans." She never took her shoes off in my house somewhat of an insult here in Hawaiian culture...She was going to stand on my cairs in pointy high heels, not even thinking of the damage she could do... I had released the cats from the carriers and they were loose. She propped the door open to the outside
to the backyard and was dragging the chair like it was plastic onto the patio. I screamed at her to let go of that chair and shut that damned door and that if my cats got out I was not responsible for the outcome of this situation. She then had a fit, screaming that she was leaving for California that day, and she had to know if everything worked in the house. The agent by then had a plactic chair and was standing on it in the lanai, outer door shut, and saying "the fans work fine"."We have to go this lady has a job she needs to get to and we have run WAY over time..."
The buyer came up to me and said "You dont like me, and you have taken the curtains down that I liked and you swore at me." I straighted up and looked her straight in the eye and I said "Yes I did. Those curtains were the last gift my mother was able to give me and you threatened the safety of my animals. You have acted like a spoilt brat in all of our dealings...making a sight unseen offer which we accepted in good faith. But then youcame over and have continued to shop houses and refused to deposit the ernest money so we dont have a real escrow and now we have had the place off the market. That wasn't very fair. Frankly if you should decide to pull the deal thats fine, there is a LINE of people waiting to see this place, and we will sell it... after all it was only on the market two weeks..."
Both the agent and the woman looked horsewhipped. But darn it. My world is being shredded and NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE ONE BIT on this blessed island. All they want is a cheap peice of it before we go and I am sick of it. Sometimes I get to be Queen too, and it can get scary, because I dont care what blows up once I blow up...
Our agent who had two walk throughs today and couldnt be there was horrified, and really upset at what happened but was totally on my side and said the same thing " Dont worry its going to be ok ... You drew the line in the sand "Just take it or leave it and SHUT UP!" thank you we all needed that, and we will sell the place dont worry."
I am a mess. I got to the store and found Woody a jngled mess too and of course I started screaming at him which was wrong. I threw the phone. I have no outlet for the rage inside, the phsycal tension, and the tears. All of the physical pain of it all and I dont know what to do about it. He thinks I am a phsyco and wants to get a divorce, then says no that my passion frightens him. All I want is to be loved and told its ok and not have to sholder all of this so alone. I do know hes having a hard time of things too, but I do feel that in 48 hours my identity is really lost for a while. Im not sure what I am....or where I am going and feel very odd about it....
....At T-Minus 48 hours the crew of the space launches were loaded into the vehicle for the fantastic voyage. Then there is the long countdown to t minus 10 seconds... and a hold always a hold. for after that the vent valves on the fuel tanks lock and there is no turning back. The bomb like rockets are active and going to go forward wheither we are ready or not... I feel like that ready or k=not I am about to be launched into a new reality and I dread and fear it and anticipate it too. I am trying to find hope again. before my whole world flames and burns to a crisp.