April 19, 2005

The Satisfied Heart

South Point Seas... waves off Punalu'u Black Sand beach Kau

Blog update at the Iverness at Del Lago resort near Lake Conroe TX. 4-17-05

At what point are we satisfied? What do we truly need? What is pure self endulgence, excess, gluttony, Waste... I am asking myself these and other questions as we spend really our first full day in what my dear cousin Lyn calls "civilization".

In terms of American life this is truly that. I find myself overwelmed with the trappings of life here... Billboards, outlawed in Hawaii as visual blight florish. Smoking in resturants and public places, which thankfully has been outlawed in both Hawaii and California to the benefit of all including resturant owners that now can use all of their seating all of the time. When the house is divided between smoking and no smoking no one wins, we all breathe the same polluted stinking air. The room we are staying in has been recently smoked in. The bedroom I am using has a hole in the window screen where, from the looks of the soot filled sill, a hole was made and the ashes and butts carelessly tossed out. I found a pile of butts in the flower bed... Disgusting abuse of someone elses property. When people say that we need no laws governing smoking, I say that when you are dealing with an addiction you must tell the sddicted how to act for they do not care for anything but getting the next fix..., not your heath or life or property... thats just how it is... They are never satisfied with the smoking they do away from me and others like me that cannot tolerate it (I am on meds again already, I think from the room..)They must blow it in my face... But I digress from my point...

We went out to dinner last night with Lyn to the Salt Grass Steak House. We had a wonderful time yacking and eating and John was meeting her for the first time and getting a window on what my mothers family is like. It all went very well indeed. But as I pondered the menu astounded anew at the difference in prices from Hawaii and I know that the quality in 10 times better here even at Mc Donalds... I found myself wanting more and more, and so did what I have been doing all through this trip. I order and make myself leave some food on the plate, a discipline that I hope will help me to lose a little weight and to be thankful for what I have, the sheer abundance of everything astounds me...

Hawaii was a lesson in sacrifice. I know that sounds at total odds from the image that you have in your mind of this place. But for us people that have always had good jobs to have none and the results of whice were thankfully never hunger but often eating things that were less than satisfying and often not the best for me. I found myself consuming larger quantities of different things that I seemed to crave because I was deficient in real nutrition as good foods, protiens especially are very expensive. Rice doesnt fill you up...thats why we have so many obese Hawaiians that are dying of complications of diabetes... You arent satisfied on rice and span your body craves more.

I am chosing at this point to try to give my body a chance now that I can...

We shlepped off to Wal Mart for camera downloading and found that there were not one but two SUPER Walmarts along the route back to the resort. Walking into the cavern of excess some how makes you nuts. You see all of these things that you must have... I turned to Woody and said..."we need to be careful in this place we could go crazy in here..." He nodded still staring at all of the stuff amazed. The place was 4 times as big as our Walmart in Hilo and has a food store attached. So we were able to do a bit of grocery shopping with out going to a second place as well.

To make a long story short the prices of everything were 75% less than what we are used to. Milk 2.50 a gal insted of 8.00. and so on. WE steeled ourselves to not over spend and got out of there with only what we needed not with a bunch of junk that we have no place for right now.

Houses are the same way. Big Bigger Biggest... Its amazing at the price, what you can get here. For us from pricy California and Hawaii its mind blowing... So we have found it hard to explain what we want to the realtor, Small but not too small. secluded but not so far away that we can never get to work...ect...

Today we looked at a 1/2 dozen homes. of the three that we had scheduled to day 2 were contenderes from the Realtor.com Group that we have been studying for the past 6 months. We were sadly disapointed at the two we did see, and the third was sold. WE then drove on our own to April Sound a planned community on Lake Conroe. Here we saw two new homes that other than being cheek by jowl on top of your neighbor and pained baby poop brown (what is it with this mad decoration? The color looked like cat barf.) And no yard they are called Patio Homes which means that everyone shares a common area and you have no yard and no say in the planting of your area. I didnt like that...

but then we were shown a town home that we liked really well. It has a fenced back private yard and the home was spacious enough to meet our needs. At 80K asking its a good deal and has a water view of Lake Conroe. Only one wall is shared so less noise... We shall see what more is out there on the horizon. I know that there are a lot of homes to choose from... At what point do we choose I dont know.

I wonder at my own sense of satisfaction or lack of it. I know that one of the great temptations to do or buy anything is "because we can" That is not good enough. I screwed up last time buying a ton of stuff I did not need, a house that was too large for me to care for. Woody eats himslf through resturants, spends lavishly because he can and its available. I am trying to find that happy medium between excess and want. Its one of my goals as I take this adventure to heart and try to embrace all of the lessons that God has to teach me...