February 04, 2006

The Breaking of the Dawn

Breaking Dawn near Lowell AR

There' a slow train
pulling throught the desert
Colored cars pass quietly from sight
Between the highway and the long horizion
Precious dreams wind away with the light

My brother's and sister's faces linger
The hours of our childhood grave and gold
Driving through these solitary places
Memories of the gentle kinship
touch my soul

The hawks wheel away as we pass by here
The clouds billow up and fly on
Down the road some hard turns are going to shake us
Ride with us
through the breaking of the dawn

Fernando Ortega

I saw very few sunrises in Hawaii... that astonishing factoid was true as much of the time it was raining at that hour in Puna. Here is NW Arkansas, as I drive to work, I see the sky change from black to brilliant sapphire blue to pink. the colder it is the prettier it seems to be. Its a consolation as I drag myself out of the car and come in to work.

I am not in anyway at peace about the current situation. I wonder what its going to take to make a change at home. Woody has spent the entire week putting up 6 shelves at the store. Its maddening. But as I told a friend today, I had stopped all work on the store, waiting to see if he would do something. He whined today about nothing getting done.That being said I am fed up. I look at the boxes of product and I can hear the whine I used to get in Hawaii about how his money is invested in the business and nothing comes of it... We had a fight about it then I went bought 600 bucks of high end bakers racks and assembled them myself in front of Woody...

I know, I know, I should have waited. He is the most unmotivated person I have ever met. I dont know how to help, and I do know that either you are growing or decaying. Decay is the way of things for him.

Decay seems to be a big part of my life too. Teeth are Gods way of reminding us that we are dust. Mine are a mess and I have a number of appointments to work on that... Then, three weeks ago a spot developed on my left arm that got bigger by the day and was really different from other things that I have had so it was off to the Dematologist, where I was burned and scraped and freeze blasted.

I feel like things are dacaying on the job, I had so little work, that I wonder how long they can keep on paying me to do nothing. The account is slowly pulling work away from my company and it shows. I either need to move to a new account or hope others get moved, and that is happening... Today I told Woody that he must look for work as I have a really bad feeling about the stuation.

I am using my insurance and hope to get as much benefit as I can as soon as I can. I have the time to go and take care of things, beats sitting there blogging...

Speaking of blogging, I have revived my photo blog "Hawaii Calls". I loaded a bunch of photos that have not been published on My Wide Blue Seas before on there. I enjoyed reliving our trip around the islands last spring, it helped to take the chill off a bit.