June 05, 2006

What Have We Been Missing?....

Four tiny baby wrens peek out of their nest, no bigger than an egg cup. The toy fruits on the wreath give you a sense of proportion...just how tiny they are


"Hoku, We have come to say good-bye"...Our neighbors to the north of us, Gene and Ginger left today to go to Kenya to teach at a Bible College there. Woody and I had just returned form our weekly outing together. Church, then breakfast, then a stop at the Grapevine Mall to check our store and pay the monthly fees... Nothing has been done in the house in a week, catbox smell and stale dishwasher dishes, the place looks like a bomb hit it...So we stood on our front porch and talked. Our conversation was interrupted when Gene pointed out the wreath and the obvious to him, nest full of chicks. Our front door is used so seldom that mom and dad Wren felt right at home nesting right near the doorknob!

I stopped and took this photo as I walked in. Momma was on a worm run, and so I was able to approach the nest snap a picture and hurry away...

And it has made me think...What am I missing...The time I used to spend in prayer and meditation is the greatest loss. The time we were going to devote to the church, even the time to be neighbors and make friends. The time I was going to devote to being the wife and homemaker I have always wanted to be...

At church yesterday I realized that yes I am impacting lives at thisplace...some positively some negatively. But I wonder if I shouldnt be more available to active ministry... I really feel the pull, and am praying about it everytime I think about it.

Things are changing on my account as well. Two additional managers, and nine more employees will be starting over the next two weeks. I will be losing two thirds of my workload generating areas. Saturday, to everyones surprise we were all moved around to different desks. I hate that. I lost my wonderful deskmate and have a lady that is loud and smokes like a chimney and smells gross... I like the gal but she is affected, the loud voice and the brash phone persona is ment to get attention. People are betting how long I can put up with it. Not long. But day by day I can. As long as I can..

I was prepared to hate the new arrangement, one of the new managers, sits right accross from me, watching my every move. Bosslady is two rows away now on the opposite end of the room. She can no longer shout at me over the wall. I no longer feel the relentless pressure to do what she wanted on the spot neglecting my other work..

So other than seatmate lady's boisterous talk, which I think she toned down for me It was more peaceful. Part of that peace is knowing that I have a vision and a goal that I am working towards. It isnt hopeless for me.

One of the new mans visions is to break up of the bad habbits of no lunch no break no life. So 6pm was our deadline today I scurried out of there and rushed home...To a thundering sky. I put a one pan baked cassorole in the oven and sat out here in the shadow of the storm, brave kitties by my side, watching the lightning and listening to the gentle rain. No matter how many times I experience this it blesses me. I feel a part of this wonderous greatness that surrounds me...Weither it it Rolling thunder, or the peeping of tiny baby birds...it is the music of God's world that I have most sorely missed, and long for every moment of everyday, for as long as I have breath....