August 07, 2006

Working Out Our Dreams

The Long Drive The Greens of Tanyard Creek Bella Vista AR


Dream

Woody- "I just want a job I can go to and work and get paid enough to support us for as long as we need that...I cant see myself retiring really... sort of funny that...I dont feel 57, In my minds eye I am still 25..."

Hokule'a-"I dont want to be consumed by a job...I want to make something...create something...Im really weary of pushing buttons and that sort of thing...or help people, Get out of myself...."

Dream

Woody-"I wake up thinking I have been out on the golf course with my friends in California...I am sad when I realize that I am not there..."

Hokulea- "I dream of Hawaii, in my sleep in my day dreams too. I wonder how long it took the Children of Israel to forget Egypt..."

Working out our dreams... Woody and I dont have deep conversations very often. He will tell you that he is as deep as a mud puddle and about as murky. I feel that I am a touch deeper than that...and sadly miss a soul mate to share that with...

As I struggle through the endless days at "thisplace", I find myself growing more and more... detached from the reality of it. Only when it gets really bad, like my job was threatened by a upper management person over an issue that she was mistaken on, do I respond. I take my walks, I work in silence, I walk out and say nothing. Bossman called me the Silent Warrior this week. My workload has doubled and no one seems to notice...

I find myslf struggling with a physical condition that I have not had since 1998, that I call "the Gumby syndrome" I feel like Gumby, wobbly legged and floppy, falling asleep at every chance. It was decided that a seritonan imbalance caused by fatige and steriod use caused it and I went a very mild anti depressant and nopraxion sodium and was well in a week. That may not be the issue here but if it continues I will seek out medical advise. In the mean time its early to bed and eating very right to try to sleep and feed my way out of it. I have also declared a no overtime week this week as we have events at church all this week at night that I want to go to... The money isnt critical to our bills, in fact...

The money goes into the bank twords a future dream I am still defining. We were looking at building a separate building to house a repair business, but we keep wondering, a can I really do it and be if I cant what would we do with a 12x20 building? turn it into a guest cottage or better still develope my second idea, cat boarding...

We had also wanted to enclose the screened Lanai with windows so that we could enjoy this part of the house all year long. The price is similar to the outbuilding, so we have decided to go with the refirbishment of the Lanai, and once compleated install a bench in here. I will have to be very careful with soldering torch gas, and the chemicals that are used in Jewelers work, as our cats seem to like the smell of cleaning agents (we are super careful to keep it all locked up)

While working on this dream another dream may be in the offing. I wasnt going to say anything much about it but by the time most of you will have read this I may know. An opportunity may have come along for me to enter full time work with our church. I auditioned for the position, it was more like that than an interview, and will know in a few more days, how things turned out. I was one of twelve people interested and one of five that made the cut for the audition. There are major pluses and minuses to this, one being a nearly 50 percent cut in pay to a wage that would not be liveable should I be on my own.A plus is that I would have a wonderful but exacting boss in our Pastor and its just one mile from home... Woody and I are excited about the possibility but still praying it through...

Woody had a great interview with a forklift firm in nearby Springdale. Good pay and would be very close to "thisplace" so we could carpool. Having him drive would be a big plus to me as I could never stay later than he would allow (heh heh heh) and he would drive saving me the aggravation and danger as well of dropping off at the wheel. Woody liked the people very much and we are keeping our fingers crossed about it.

In this process of working out our dreams...defining what it is we want to do for the next year to five years is frought with pleasure and anxiety. We pray we hope we look at possibilities, knowing that as Pastor said to me " No matter what you choose to do, God will bless it and make it holy for if it is done in His Name, its a sanctified work for Him..."

8-9-2006 I was interviewed before the Hiring Committee at the church, one of two finalists for the job....and the other lady was the better candidate. I was glad to have gotten as far as I did, glad to learn more about the processes and inner workings of our church. Both Woody and I were a little sad but glad that all has worked out happily, in my mind. I dont want to be anywhere God doesnt want me to be and lookforward to the next step in the working out of our dreams....