January 04, 2007
A New Years Resolution
My Winter Dream... Wailoa Park With Snow Capped Mauna Kea in the background. Hilo Hawaii
We rearranged the "Media Room" over the week end. I dont think I mentioned the incredible debacle I created when I ordered new furniture for this room. The measurements in the catalog were not correct so the peices were all too big. I compounded the issue by trying to get a good deal and bought more stuff than I really needed and ended up returning a bunch of it at my expense (that ment Woody and I had to rent a truck and take it back ourselves. Rental yard was 50 miles away but near the store where I bought the stuff, so 100 mile round trip and truck rental about 100 bucks, add that to the shipping charges for the stuff I returned, it was a chunk of change I left on the table...
But by rearranging this room we both have good access to the computer and we now have a place to file our papers and perhaps we can find important papers...like the other day when Woody needed to renew his driver's license and the woman at the DMV wanted more documentation than his old license and his expired passport. He couldnt find his mothers birth certificate so we rushed a renew on his passport. He is now officially an Arkansan... And I knew we had to fix our document control problem.
There are a lot of things like this in my life. I am so busy just trying to survive my job that the rest of my life is falling apart. Every time I would think about doing something about it I would freeze up... "Woody's job sucks and I need this job for the money, insurance, blah blah blah..." Meanwhile, yours truly has zip life. I am a cash cow, struggling with prostitution of the mind...and in fact somewhat faking it through my job because I dont have all of the qualifications that are really needed.
I have been on a track to nowhere, making money saving money and running up bills. The more that do this the more enslaved to this life I become. As I sat at home for this past holiday week I realized that I have been living in the macro, worried about everything else everyone else but myself.
Why must I stay enslaved to a job I hate? Because Woody stood guard on a dump in Paradise, while I ran our dream ie the jewelry store? I know that was a horrid thing but he was supporting himself as well as me.Well I gave it up so he wouldnt have to do that anymore. Now he can support us a lot easier, if he chooses to, but if I stand up and am the hero, he has no incentive to keep fighting.
The first thing I did was repent of wanton spending, and not thinking about what I have been doing, For not caring about the future, and for pathetic martyrdom.
I had decided that for a Lenten Pledge this year I would forgo shopping and spending money and I would have all of my personal debt paid off by Easter. Well Im starting now January 1, as I am so in over my head its gonna take this long just to get the job done. But the borrower is the lenders slave and I am done with it
I am also willing to put another cherished dream on the line to improve my lot now... the desire to go back into leadership at our church. We are preparing to launch what will be a "church with in a church" in our church. I am finally worshipping in a venue that would freely welcome me to any role I chose to do. So I have prayed and waited and you know... thats my role... to perhaps mentor future leaders, but I feel that this is passing me by as well . Let it go now before I hurt myself with misplaced expectations.
Why make this change... I was approached by a very large trucking company to work the weekends 10 am to 10 pm. saturday and sunday. Very hectic and crazy but I can do two days a week standing on my head. I would have 5 days a week to myself to pursue other intrests... Im sure you can see the point, I can get into a whole lot of trouble home alone like that and have a lot of fun. I prayed about it, talked to Woody about losing half of my salary and insurance, and applied. We shall see.
On top of this I received word that the first position in the new International division has opened for auditions. When I read the job description, I was pretty amazed, it was a sweeping description that would cover nearly every position in the account that I just left. Including travel and 24/7 access no matter when... I guess I have to marry the company.Am I crazy to not want to do that? I am also applying for this in case I am wrong or that this is a temporary issue until the group gets large enough to pass the work around... I like the guys that run the division and worked with the VP in charge years ago in California, but I dont want to be in bondage to a job anymore. So this creates a conundrum to my Resolution...
In anycase the ship is moving forward. I feel good about it and hope that the momentem can continue.
Any resolutions anyone? I would love to hear them