March 06, 2007

Half Empty

The Verdant Valley...Carroll County Arkansas

Im 45 today... I never thought that I would see it, but here it is...I always wondered what it would feel like to have used up half of the time you have on this earth... and what would I be doing?

I spent the weekend at Little Portion Retreat, a house high up on More Mountain, between Eureka Springs and Berryville Arkansas. I was there with 40 other adults and we were pondering the secrets of Christian Meditation and The Seven Deadly Sins... Its Lent, ya know...and I found myself thinking about my life in terms of... is the glass half full or half empty?

Half Full? Am I full of experiences that hurt and hinder me to the point that I am rushing towards a bitter old age? A lot of the time I thought about this truth that you really need to let go of all of this past stuff...but my "letter goer" is frozen in the lock position. And I dont know how to deal with that.

I want to believe that my glass is half empty. Empty and waiting to be filled with new experiences, new life. I am now entering the quest to be done with the old. I have been working on this for some time, but this is a really deep effort. Starting with my lack of self control. I am trying to put some of the things that I learned at retreat into practice and really work at being a better Christian.

And so my birthday message to me is, "stay with it the best half of life is comming around the corner...get ready...its here!"

Labels: Little Portion, Scenic Arkansas