April 30, 2006

Ecclesiastes - Chapter 8

hwy 62 the road to Eureka Springs

Who is like a wise man?
And who knows the interpretation of a thing?
A man's wisdom makes his face shine,
And the sternness of his face is changed.



I say, "Keep the king's commandment for the sake of your oath to God. Do not be hasty to go from his presence. Do not take your stand for an evil thing, for he does whatever pleases him."


Where the word of a king is, there is power;
And who may say to him, "What are you doing?"
He who keeps his command will experience nothing harmful;
And a wise man's heart discerns both time and judgment,
Because for every matter there is a time and judgment,
Though the misery of man increases greatly.
For he does not know what will happen;
So who can tell him when it will occur?
No one has power over the spirit to retain the spirit,
And no one has power in the day of death.
There is no release from that war,
And wickedness will not deliver those who are given to it.


All this I have seen, and applied my heart to every work that is done under the sun: There is a time in which one man rules over another to his own hurt.

Then I saw the wicked buried, who had come and gone from the place of holiness, and they were forgotten* in the city where they had so done. This also is vanity. Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. Though a sinner does evil a hundred times, and his days are prolonged, yet I surely know that it will be well with those who fear God, who fear before Him. But it will not be well with the wicked; nor will he prolong his days, which are as a shadow, because he does not fear before God.
There is a vanity which occurs on earth, that there are just men to whom it happens according to the work of the wicked; again, there are wicked men to whom it happens according to the work of the righteous. I said that this also is vanity.
So I commended enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun.
When I applied my heart to know wisdom and to see the business that is done on earth, even though one sees no sleep day or night, then I saw all the work of God, that a man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. For though a man labors to discover it, yet he will not find it; moreover, though a wise man attempts to know it, he will not be able to find it.

April 28, 2006

Flight 93

Flight Attendents honoring fallen friends at the impact field of Flight 93 Pennsylvania

The new movie "Flight 93" is out! This powerful, truthfully depected story of Flight 93 is being released this weekend. I would encourage all of my readers to go and see this powerful film. A portion of the proceeds are going to help fund the memorial to the heros of Flight 93. There is some discussion in the news about not building a fitting memorial to these people's memory, The movie itsself is a memorial. And worth your time and money.

April 27, 2006

The White Line is the Lifeline for the Nation

The road less traveled route 72 at 340 near the Missouri state line Pea Ridge AR

Big wheels rolling
Big wheels rolling
Movin'On

The White Line is the lifeline for the nation....

by Merle Haggard
From the song "Movin'On"

.
I heard this song as a kid, saw the TV show with Claude Akins, and had two friends that had fathers that were gypsy truckers. I fell in love with the trucker's life. Marie and I decided that this was the life for us too. A way of escape from the difficult adolescence we were both struggling But that was before deregulation, and the oil embargo. Diesel prices went up and Marie's father gave up, and went to work as a day hauler and died a horrid death due to emphysema. He was only in his early 50's. (Listen up smokers!) The other man leased his tractor to a major carrier, a common practice and worked till retirement. Marie met a man and had a daughter and because she wouldnt marry the father, got herself excommunicated from the Mormon church. She was never able to work in the transportation business that she loved , but was, the last time I saw her she was managing a Burger King in the town that we grew up in... I was literally laughed at by my high school counselor who encouraged me to start looking at "other options, but never again had me to her office again...I chose to marry the Engineer and escape my horrible adolescence that way. It wasn't till I was free of him that I found myself involved with the trucking business. I wasnt ever able to mount a tractor, nor wanted to by then, but being involved in the logisitcs revolution changed my dead end life, as a un educated low paid office worker and allowed me a life and another window on the world.

I went to work for an export packer, then for the firm which gave birth to the logistics arm of Walmart, Then for a firm that specialized in breaking down containerloads of goods for distribution in small lots to points of sale... Payless shoes wouldn't be pay-less without this method of bringing goods to market. Walmart wouldn't have grown to the giant that it is without its huge warehouse crossdock operations, fed by containerized cargo from the far east.

Walmart is accused of many evils, from supporting slave labor, to ruining local small business to pittance wages and health insurance that is a joke, but any of you that have shopped there know that you can get just about anything you want for not a lot of money. That savings was brought to you by logistics... As were the inexpensive shoes at Payless... the clothing at the chain stores, and an abundance of foods from all over the country and the world, are available due to a cost effective network of transportation, and distribution systems. The very lifeblood of out economy flows though the veins of the railroad and the interstate highways.

You walk into the Grocery store, and see the abundance of goods, fresh and inviting...How do you think it got there? Thank a truck driver....

Yes, much of what we look at as being a part of the good life is attached to a low fuel price. We may see that whither away as we are dealing with the likes of this below...

.


And by the way, thank a Logistics manager as well. I have never been more aware of the effect of transportation on the life of the nation as I have in these past few weeks as we set up this new account. My company is blazing a new trail in setting this account up faster than this has been done by any of our competitors ever. Our customer is one of the largest food processors in the nation, and we are getting just a part of their business, but it will yield about 175,000 truckloads to be managed per year. As you might expect much of this will be automated, I wont have to type each freight bill...

I am the human element... I talk to people, verifying what I see or don't see on the screen and create relationship between Carrier, Customer and all the others involved in the process of bringing goods from the factory to the store. It is more complex and vital than you know. Should we see five dollar a gallon diesel, or a terrorist attack on a port or rail yard or highway interchange, it will bring a section of the country or even the whole country to a stop. I believe that we have no clue how vital every truck driver is to the welfare of the nation... And by the way, those of you seeking a career change. The biggest shortfall of employees in this nations vital industries is not nurses (that is number two, teachers number three) but rather truck drivers, and the need is growing. The pay gets better by the month as the shortage grows. The shortage is thought to be some 20% below the need...

I say all of this to suggest that the huge increase in fuel prices is a detriment to the nation as a whole. Folks its not driving your SUV that is the problem. Don't let the eco people fool you. Its keeping Joe and Jane Trucker on the road and making a decent living. Once we cant bring goods to market, then our sales based economy will collapse. Gas lines are in the offing and will come...Its painful and its inevitable Im afraid...

I dont see an end to this as I believe in a free market economy, but something needs to be changed soon, or the "Big Wheels" will come to a grinding halt, and so will the nation as a whole.


The Crossroads I-40E near Palestine Arkansas

April 25, 2006

From A to Z a meme

Kohalla Vista

I picked up this meme courtesy of Abba Gav via Regina of I Still See a Spark In You who was introduced to me by Steve Shores of Regeneration Now having run all of the credits I can proceed with the meme

Accent:

Well, mostly no...Everyone tells me I have a slight ligual shift in tone that made me right at home in Hawaii and just slightly exotic here "Yah" insted of "yes" or "Hi", with all of the Texas ladies in my life (count five in my work group and loads more at my church I will be saying "Hey!" eventually... but my Southern roots are showing and likely I will have the soft MosArkLahoma twang before too long.

Booze:

No way. Too many alcoholics in my family and its a needless caloric expansion.

Chore I Hate:

Most of them. I am not very diligent at housework

Dogs/Cats:

Cats always cats. I have never had a dog... but would like to someday

Essential Electronics:

A computer, and a digital camera. I have become quite attached to my Ipod and perhaps should add that to my list as well

Favorite Perfume/Cologne:

I have several Ivorie de Balmain, Jessica McClintock and Must de Cartier II...I had to give up spraying myself for a number of years, and rediscovered the joys of fragrance... Just in time to get to know Crabtree and Evelyn..


Gold & Silver:

Gold...White or Yellow and preferable 18kt... Or in lovely stock certificates


Hometown:
I was born in the shadow of MickeyMouseland, Anaheim, California .

Insomnia:
Sometimes.

Job Title:

"Transportation Coordinator." I tell people that I am a facilitator a travel agent for people's freight.

Kids:
Furry Children Makoa and KaNani

Living Arrangements:
Inside of a house.

Most Admired Trait
My Ability to land rightside up after being turned upside down and shaken by life. I have often been told that my faith inspiring. I find that totaly amazing because its usually at a time when I feel that I have no faith at all

Number of Times One Has Moved:
10 times from birth till now.

Overnight Hospital Stays:I spent a week in the hospital at birth. I had a overnight stay for anaphlyctic Shock. That's enough thanks.

Phobia: I am a touch claustrophobic (I'm trying to work through it).

Quote:
"He is no fool to give that which he cannot keep, to save that which he cannot lose...Jim Elliot martyred missionary. See The End of The Spear

Religion:
Pilgrim Follower of Jesus

Siblings:
One brother and one half-sister. They have both vanished from the face of the earth as far as Im concerned... must have been something I said

Time I Usually Wake Up:
There are those that say I am never awake... The alarm goes off at 5 am

Unusual Talent:
I have inherited both of my parents abilities to solve little problems with creative engineering. For example I wanted to hang some picture on my cubicle walls so using a coathanger I fashioned two hooks with a sort of spring loaded effect that has the company raving. I may go into business making the things

Vegetable I Refuse To Eat:
I cant stand cucumbers or brussel sprouts... Asparigus is one of my all time fave foods.

Worst Habit:
Cussing. Having Tunnel Vision about life and a negative attitude

X-Rays:
I have had so many dental xrays I glow in the dark

Yummy Foods I Like:
Indian: Biryani Rice, Chicken Vindaloo, Saag Paneer. Chinese: Kung Pao Chicken, Red Pepper Chicken Stir Fry, Fried Rice. Italian: Lasagna Dessert: German Chocolate cake

Zodiac Sign:
I dont believe in this but I was born under the sign of the fish, Piecies, but more importantly I was born again under the sign of the Cross

No tagging on this meme, have your way with this meme as you will

April 24, 2006

The Whirl of Days

Iris blooms in my garden. I just noticed they are in bloom again this year...

Written Saturday April 22,

I am surrounded by rich green again... As if by magic the trees have robed themselves over night in rich green leaves. Dappled sunlight drifts into the lanai as I comb out Makoa, removing a cantalope size ball of winter fur, unneeded in the 80 plus degree warmth. Little meows of happiness and licks from him tell me that its worth the time to take time out, enjoy the peace of the spring afternoon.

It was a year ago today that we flew into Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport, got off the plane and smelled the cool Spring air and knew deep down that this was the place we needed to be, regardless of the lack of logic that idea summoned up.

Truthfully, we coul not be in a better place and if you weary of me saying this, I need to say it over and over as I miss the mystery of Hawaii and exchanged it for a "life" and it is life, cause we werent really living in the islands, just exisiting.

I say all of this to say that our lives are developing ruetine. Woody is working six days a week 8 am to 8 pm... That cant last long as he will wear himself out. He has a cold or maybe allergies as we have the big pollen bloom going right now. It leaves little time in the evenings for any communication time, vital as this talking is all the glue that keeps us together.

My work is becomming more and more complex, I will be writing about it hopefully this week. As we worked this past week, often late into the night, we workmates talked, getting to know each other, about our work and the future of this new account, mindful of the rising oil prices, I know that, in comming days, my work will be dramatically impacted. Its so important to life here in the US and the world. I believe that all of our lives will be changed in a slower version of 9-11. Maybe you wont see a burning building, but your life will be changed never the less.

But that was not my thought, as I combed my boy kitty's wooly fur. It was for the green leaves, the clean air and the second chance I have at life. I had meditated over the past week on God's Mercy. It has been evident even as I dance in this whirl of my days and dont think about it. There is not a facet of life that I am not thankful for.

I say all of this to ask for your prayers and understanding as I will not be posting as often or as vigorusly as before. I just dont have the energy or time at night, and weekends are becomming more and more involved with church (more on that soon)...I am thankfully busy at work finally, almost too busy, but I know that God has placed me with the specific group of people He has for a purpose. As time flies in the breeze like todays fading dogwood blossoms, know that if you dont hear from me you are not forgotten, you remain in my prayers...

April 23, 2006

Divine Mercy Sunday~Psalm 85

The " Skemp" Image of Jesus The Divine Mercy. Painted by Robert Skemp Hanging at the National Shrine of Devine Mercy Stockbridge MA.

PSALM 85.

Lord, You have been favorable to Your land;
You have brought back the captivity of Jacob.
You have forgiven the iniquity of Your people;
You have covered all their sin.
Selah
You have taken away all Your wrath;
You have turned from the fierceness of Your anger.


Restore us, O God of our salvation,
And cause Your anger toward us to cease.
Will You be angry with us forever?
Will You prolong Your anger to all generations?
Will You not revive us again,
That Your people may rejoice in You?
Show us Your mercy, Lord,
And grant us Your salvation.


I will hear what God the Lord will speak,
For He will speak peace
To His people and to His saints;
But let them not turn back to folly.
Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him,
That glory may dwell in our land.


Mercy and truth have met together;
Righteousness and peace have kissed.
Truth shall spring out of the earth,
And righteousness shall look down from heaven.
Yes, the Lord will give what is good;
And our land will yield its increase.
Righteousness will go before Him,
And shall make His footsteps our pathway.

April 22, 2006

Ocean's of Mercy~ The story of Divine Mercy Sunday

The Divine Mercy picture, by Vilnius painter Eugenijus Kazimierovskis. Image based on a vision received by St Maria Faustina Kowalska in 1936

She was the daughter of Polish peasants, with just enough education to read some, sign her name, and do basic math. She felt a deep religious calling so without permission, or financial resources she left her family and was received into a convent in Warsaw Poland, Over the next few years, the young sister showed a depth of devotion and a grasp of the matters of faith beyond one like herself.

After a period of spiritual crisis often called "a dark night of the soul" Sisiter Faustina began to receive impressions of the Holy Spirit. Our Lord revealed to her that He wanted to pour out His Grace and Mercy on the whole world and "that all of the sins of mankind were as a drop in the Ocean of God's Mercy..." She was also told to paint a picture depicting our Lord Jesus as you see above with the red and white rays symbolizing divine grace and mercy pouring forth. She was also give a prayer to pray to intercedeed for the deliverance of the entire world
St Faustina, here is a short article on her
Very young and not even fully professed as a nun, she was not believed. However her confessor, and her mother superior had her examined physically and mentally and found that Faustina was mentally and physically sound. They had her begin to keep a diary, which she did out of obedience. This helped her grow in her skill as a writer, and as one reads her diary you can see how she can more and more tell us what she was experiencing. Soon, her Mother Superior was convinced of the authenticity of her revelations as was this priest. He had the picture painted, and it was hung and accepted, even venerated by people who were touched by the vision of a loving God that wanted to love and forgive.The reverend Mother and her nuns began to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy...and eventually Sister Faustina was moved from Vilnius, Lithuania, to Krakow, Poland to Warsaw, Poland to Katoweitza (sp)Poland, and the Chaplet spread. The religious of Poland were praying

Eternal Father, I offer You
The Body Blood Soul and Divinity
Of your dearly beloved Son
Our Lord, Jesus Christ
In attonment for our sins
and those of the whole world

For the Sake of His sorrowful passion
Have mercy on us and on the whole world...

They needed that prayer, because Poland was about to become the epicenter of the worlds greatest war, its most hideous genocide...perhaps the world survived because this nun was obedient and "wrote down what she saw, and was obedient to the last..." we will never know this side of Glory. But the impact on the Catholic Church is visible and through it the impact on the world continues even to this day, as a renewal of faith in Jesus and the knowledge that a personal relationship with our Lord is required of each of us.

While in Warsaw, the prayer was learned by by a young Polish priest, who taught his congragants the Chaplet, believing that the message was vital to salvation of the soul and of the world. It is said that this priest,Father Maximillian Kolbe taught this prayer to fellow prisoners and when a group of prisioners were to be taken to the execution pits, he volenteered to fill the place of a man "who had a family", and spent 10 days slowly starving to death. He was still alive after the ten days and was finished off with a lethal injection of carbolic acid. Father Kolbe was cannonzed as a saint in 1982

In Krakow, the Chaplet was new and exciting and young people espcially students embraced it. One of these we are told was a young university student named Karol Wojtyla. The rest is history. Wotyla, as a priest, bishop and later as Pope John Paul II, has a profound impact on the Christain world of the 20th century. His was a message of God's mercy and grace. He professed this faith in a personal touchable reachable Saviour, in a culture of persecution, first under the Nazi's then the Communists. He saw unimaginable suffering and later experienced this himself both relationally and in his own body as he struggled with phsically infimity...That we as believers were to love and forgive our enemies, and ourselves...Here is an article on how culture shaped the Holy Father's message which is a different look at him and his mission... Both Catholic and Non Catholic Christian would benefit by reading his encyclicals (theological studies)particularly on human relationships and world evangelization. Much of his world view and faith was influenced by the idea of a merciful loving God rather than the wrathful vengful God of the past. On having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ rather than just going through the motions of religion.

We as non Catholics can learn from Faustina's humility, and willingness to be a fool for Christ's sake. I think its too bad that we dont celebrate Divine Mercy Sunday as a part of Easter and use the day to focus on the love and mercy of Jesus, and to share that forgiveness of every sin can be found in Jesus... As St. Faustina wrote, Then He (Jesus) said..."how I long to embrace every person in the world and show them my love and mercy, that my forgiveness is complete and boundless. Oh that all would come, there is room at My table for everyone..."

April 17, 2006

Easter Monday

The Crescent Hotel Eureka Springs Arkansas

We had a really good week end. As is somewhat normal for us Woody have had a bit of a rough patch lately, I think its the stress of his working a bazillion hours as the dealership cant seem to keep people and he and the lady he works with just are worked to death. Sadly this doesnt seem to translate to more deals and in turn more money because if you dont have time to focus on your clients you wont get the sale. I have learned a few unsavory things about the people he works for and frankly I am positive that this isnt going to work out for Woody. I feel badly because he really wants this to work, but as things deteriorate... for example, the manager verbally abuses the sales lady and she puts up with it. Woody cant stand that and speaks up for her. I encouraged him to and if he gets fired for that, so what, he did the right thing.

I will start working overtime this week as our account is about ready to launch. It like having a baby Im told. You want it over with after you have worked on it for months and the last little bit of waiting for launch is painful, rushed and, well, laborious. But worth it in the end. I say this to say that posting may be slow but be paitent with me I am still here.

The services at our church over this holy three days were very good, with one painful exception to me. I feel like the congragation is spectating and not participating. Its something that I am hoping to influence a change in. Life is not a spectator sport and worship less so.

One thing I had hoped for is happening, and that is a full court press into the arena of prayer. On friday I spent several hours in the church praying alone in the darkened church, and as the wind blew outside the wooden celing creaked like a ship under sail, and perhaps that is a good metaphore for this congragation and its dynamic pastor. I feel like this often here, and there doesnt seem to be a lot of looking back at the shore so to speak. That says volumes about the Seinors that make up the majority of the congragation. I have to smile when every sunday, Pastor David or whoever is in charge of the Childrens Sermon, calls the kids up, and there are more children than the pastors young son, and his friend... These people many of whom are retired and living a long distance away from family and grand children, sigh with happiness upon seeing the kids, more and more of them every week it seems, comming into the church. I am glad too, because it takes a cross section of humanity to make a thriving church

After a small "sunrise service". I say that toungue in cheek because it was removed from out doors to escape the wind and the thick heavy pollen cloud that currently hovering over the Ozarks... (You are covered in a sticky yellow film the minute you walk outside. We are not even allowing the cats on the screen porch its so bad.) We had a "brunch" after service, which was not bad. Normally these things are not the most satisfying of meals due to the small portions. If I took a photo of the plate you would laugh. Anyway, the services were uplifting and focused on Jesus. Thats all I could ask for.

Afterwards wedesided to drive up to Eureka Springs for lunch. It was a very nice drive. We are in the midst of a heat wave...(Its been 90 plus degrees for the past few days.) The flowers are all getting fried so its see them now or never. I am so happy to see the new leaves back on the trees. Even though we were out in late morning there was an abundance of wildlife, birds and butterflies... In short Spring has arrived with a roar and I love it.

The flower feast of the eyes rivals Hawaii for natural beauty, but the most beautiful thing about the area is the people. We have met a very few "bad apples". Most have been gracious and kind and have made this first year in the New Land much easier than I thought it would be.

I hope that your week end was filled with fun and fond memories

April 16, 2006

He Is Risen

The Risen Lord, statue of Jesus looking out over the Ozark Valley On the grounds of St Elizabeth's Catholic Church Eureka Springs Arkansas

MY SONG IS LOVE UNKNOWN

My song is love unknown,
my Savior’s love to me
Love to the loveless shown,
that they might lovely be
Oh, who am I that for my sake,
Oh, who am I that for my sake,
My Lord should take frail flesh and die?

He came from heaven’s throne
salvation to bestow
But they refused and none
the longed-for Christ would know
This is my friend, my friend indeed,
This is my friend, my friend indeed,
Who at my need, His life did spend.

Sometimes they crowd His way
and His sweet praises sing
Resounding all the day,
hosannas to their King
Then, “Crucify!” is all their breath,
Then, “Crucify!” is all their breath,
And for His death they thirst and cry.

Why, what has my Lord done
to cause this rage and spite
He made the lame to run,
and gave the blind their sight
What injuries, yet these are why,
What injuries, yet these are why,
The Lord Most High so cruelly dies.

With angry shouts they have
my dear Lord done away
A murderer they save,
the Prince of Life they slay
Yet willingly, He bears the shame,
Yet willingly, He bears the shame,
That through His name all might be free.

Here might I stay and sing
of Him my soul adores
Never was love, dear King,
never was grief like Yours
This is my friend in whose sweet praise,
This is my friend in whose sweet praise,
I, all my days would gladly spend.

Matthew 28:1-9

He Is Risen

(also found in Mark 16:1-8; Luke 24:1-12; John 20:1-10)

Now after the Sabbath, as the first day of the week began to dawn, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb. And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone *from the door, and sat on it. His countenance was like lightning, and his clothing as white as snow. And the guards shook for fear of him, and became like dead men.
But the angel answered and said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. And go quickly and tell His disciples that He is risen from the dead, and indeed He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him. Behold, I have told you."
So they went out quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to bring His disciples word.

The Women Worship the Risen Lord

And *as they went to tell His disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, "Rejoice!" So they came and held Him by the feet and worshiped Him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell My brethren to go to Galilee, and there they will see Me."


PRAISE TO THE LORD, THE ALMIGHTY

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty,
the king of creation.
Oh my soul praise him
for he is thy health and salvation.
All ye who hear,
now to his temple draw near,
Join me in glad adoration.

Praise to the Lord, who o’er all things
so wondrously reigneth.
Shelters thee under his wings
yes so gently sustaineth.
Hast thou not seen
how all thy longings have been
granted in what he ordaineth.

Praise to the Lord, who doth
prosper thy work and defend thee.
Surely his goodness and mercy
here daily attend thee.
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do,
if with his love he befriend thee.

Praise to the Lord, oh let
all that is in me adore him.
All that hath life and breath
come now with praises before him.
Let the amen sound from his people again,
gladly for aye, we adore him.

(public domain)






Guardian Angel The grounds of Eternal Word Television Network Irondale Alabama

April 15, 2006

City of Sorrows~ Thoughts for Holy Saturday

The Stations of the Cross, St Elizabeth's Church, Eureka Springs, Arkansas


CITY OF SORROWS

By the waters of Babylon
Still and deep
The sun rose at midnight
I was not asleep
I saw a man with a javelin
A carriage of steel
His eyes burned like sapphires
Wheels turning in wheels

I saw aluminum angels
Arrayed like a choir
Hailstones falling
Rivers of fire
By the waters of Babylon
I sank down in shame
Covered in ashes
I called out your name

Oh Jerusalem
City of thrones
The blood of your people
Still darkens the stones
City of sorrows
Spread on a hill
Bride of the prophets
They dream of you still

Kings in their armor
Swords in the sky
Storefronts of martyrs
Lined up to die
While in the streets of Jerusalem
Children in pain
Covered in ashes
I called out your name

Oh Jerusalem
City of thrones
The blood of your people
Still darkens the stones
City of sorrows
Spread on a hill
Bride of the prophets
They dream of you still

Oh Jerusalem
City of thrones
The blood of your people
Still darkens the stones
City of sorrows
Spread on a hill
Bride of the prophets
They dream of you still


Fernando Ortega
From the album "Storm" 2002

Lamentations 3

The Prophet's Anguish and Hope

I am the man who has seen affliction
by the rod of His wrath.
He has led me and made me walk
In darkness and not in light.
Surely He has turned His hand against me
Time and time again throughout the day.


He has aged my flesh and my skin,
And broken my bones.
He has besieged me
And surrounded me with bitterness and woe.
He has set me in dark places
Like the dead of long ago.


He has hedged me in so that I cannot get out;
He has made my chain heavy.
Even when I cry and shout,
He shuts out my prayer.
He has blocked my ways with hewn stone;
He has made my paths crooked.


He has been to me a bear lying in wait,
Like a lion in ambush.
He has turned aside my ways and torn me in pieces;
He has made me desolate.
He has bent His bow
And set me up as a target for the arrow.


He has caused the arrows of His quiver
To pierce my *loins.
I have become the ridicule of all my people--
Their taunting song all the day.
He has filled me with bitterness,
He has made me drink wormwood.


He has also broken my teeth with gravel,
And covered me with ashes.
You have moved my soul far from peace;
I have forgotten prosperity.
And I said, "My strength and my hope
Have perished from the Lord."


Remember my affliction and roaming,
The wormwood and the gall.
My soul still remembers
And sinks within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.


Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
"The Lord is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I hope in Him!"


The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.


Let him sit alone and keep silent,
Because God has laid it on him;
Let him put his mouth in the dust--
There may yet be hope.
Let him give his cheek to the one who strikes him,
And be full of reproach.


For the Lord will not cast off forever.
Though He causes grief,
Yet He will show compassion
According to the multitude of His mercies.
For He does not afflict willingly,
Nor grieve the children of men.


To crush under one's feet
All the prisoners of the earth,
To turn aside the justice due a man
Before the face of the Most High,
Or subvert a man in his cause--
The Lord does not approve.


Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass,
When the Lord has not commanded it?
Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
That woe and well-being proceed?
Why should a living man complain,
A man for the punishment of his sins?


Let us search out and examine our ways,
And turn back to the Lord;
Let us lift our hearts and hands
To God in heaven.
We have transgressed and rebelled;
You have not pardoned.


You have covered Yourself with anger
And pursued us;
You have slain and not pitied.
You have covered Yourself with a cloud,
That prayer should not pass through.
You have made us an offscouring and refuse
In the midst of the peoples.


All our enemies
Have opened their mouths against us.
Fear and a snare have come upon us,
Desolation and destruction.
My eyes overflow with rivers of water
For the destruction of the daughter of my people.


My eyes flow and do not cease,
Without interruption,
Till the Lord from heaven
Looks down and sees.
My eyes bring suffering to my soul
Because of all the daughters of my city.


My enemies without cause
Hunted me down like a bird.
They *silenced my life in the pit
And threw stones at me.
The waters flowed over my head;
I said, "I am cut off!"


I called on Your name, O Lord,
From the lowest pit.
You have heard my voice:
"Do not hide Your ear
From my sighing, from my cry for help."
You drew near on the day I called on You,
And said, "Do not fear!"


O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul;
You have redeemed my life.
O Lord, You have seen how I am wronged;
Judge my case.
You have seen all their vengeance,
All their schemes against me.


You have heard their reproach, O Lord,
All their schemes against me,
The lips of my enemies
And their whispering against me all the day.
Look at their sitting down and their rising up;
I am their taunting song.


Repay them, O Lord,
According to the work of their hands.
Give them *a veiled heart;
Your curse be upon them!
In Your anger,
Pursue and destroy them
From under the heavens of the Lord.

April 14, 2006

Come And See-A Good Friday Meditation

The Crucifix that faces the Enclosure Choir of Our Lady of the Angels Monestary, Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament, Hanceville Alabama

Come and see the works of God;
He is awesome in His doing toward the sons of men.

Psalm 66:5

Come and see
Look on this mystery
The Lord of the Universe
Nailed to a tree

Christ our God
Spilling His holy blood
Bowing in anguish,
His sacred head

Sing to Jesus
Lord of our shame
Lord of our sinful hearts
He is our great Redeemer
Sing to Jesus
Honor His name
Sing of His faithfulness
Pouring his life out unto death

Come, you weary
And He will give you rest
Come you who mourn
Lay on his breast

Christ who died
Risen in paradise
Giver of mercy
Giver of life

Sing to Jesus
His is the throne
Now and forever
He is the King of Heaven
Sing to Jesus
We are His own
Now and forever
Sing for the love
Our God has shown

Sing to Jesus
Lord of our shame
Lord of our sinful hearts
He is our great Redeemer
Sing to Jesus
Honor His name

Sing to Jesus
His is the throne
Now and forever
He is the King of Heaven
Sing to Jesus
We are His own
Now and forever
Sing for the love
Our God has shown


"Sing To Jesus"
Fernando Ortega
From the album "Storm" 2002

Isaiah 53

Who has believed our report?
And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant,
And as a root out of dry ground.
He has no form or comeliness;
And when we see Him,
There is no beauty that we should desire Him.
He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.


Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.


He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He opened not His mouth;
He was led as a lamb to the slaughter,
And as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
So He opened not His mouth.
He was taken from prison and from judgment,
And who will declare His generation?
For He was cut off from the land of the living;
For the transgressions of My people He was stricken.
And *they made His grave with the wicked--
But with the rich at His death,
Because He had done no violence,
Nor was any deceit in His mouth.


Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise Him;
He has put Him to grief.
When You make His soul an offering for sin,
He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days,
And the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in His hand.
He shall see the labor of His soul, and be satisfied.
By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many,
For He shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great,
And He shall divide the spoil with the strong,
Because He poured out His soul unto death,
And He was numbered with the transgressors,
And He bore the sin of many,
And made intercession for the transgressors.

April 13, 2006

"The Keepsake"

Washing Their Feet.... stain glass window from Vauxhall London England


I have kept this little story for many years. I loved it from the first, and so I kept the clipping. Written by the renouned author Authur Gordon, it is a vision of what might have been, told by the house holder of the home where the Upper Room was located.Let us enter the scene, and find ourselves in Jerusalem, in the older part of the city on a spring night so many years ago...

Oh, yes, I still have it. I Keep it in the chest over there. Sometimes when things seem to be going wrong, or my wife, Mirrim, and I have quarreled about something, or perhaps when I am depressed for no reason, I take it out and take a look at it. And you know, it does seem to help.

Almost a year has gone by now. Seems longer, doesn't it? I dont think the city ever really recovered from the things that happened on that Friday. Not just the earthquake, although that did damage quite a few buildings, as you know. No, it was the despondency that seemed to settle over everything and everybody when they crucified the Prophet from Galilee. Remember how dark the sky was that afternoon? almost as if some terrible mistake was being made and even the heavens knew it.

I remember that morning well, because the rich merchant from Jerico who rented our upper room to celebrate the Passover with his family sent word that he could not come.That was a blow, because everything was prepared. And because we were counting on the money. I was furious .

Of course, when you are full of anger it has to go somewhere, so I found fault with everthing and everybody. We had sent one of the servants to draw water from the well, and when the blockhead failed to return on time and I needed him for something else, I shouted at Mirriam that she was a miserable housekeeper who couldnt control her own servants. She shouted back and we were still at it when the servant finally appered. I had the stick ready to give him the beating he deserved, but two men came in right behind him. One was a loud rough fellow with broad sholders and red hair. The other was a slender young man... quiet, with a dreamy look about him. They said that their master would need the upper room that evening and that I was to make preparations for 13 people.

Well, now, you know that was odd. Here I was with an empty room and food prepared and here came these strangers asking for just such accomodations. Did they have money? Yes, they were prepared to pay in advance. How had they heard of our place? Their master had told them to follow a man carrying a pitcher of water. so here they were. This sounded stranger tha ever. Naturally I asked them who their master was "Jesus of Nazareth" the big man said. "You hae herad of Him, havent you"?

I had heard of him, all right. when my wife went to visit her sister in Capernaum, Mirriam had heard this man teach, and when she came home she talked about him for a week. I had also heard that just recently he had caused some sort of commotion in the Temple and that the High Priests were seeking to arrest him as a troublemaker, or worse. Someone had said that the Romans were keeping an eye on him, too, as someone who might stir up trouble, ever lead a rebellion, perhaps. Clearly a dangerous person to be associated with, much less have in the house.

I started to say that the room wasn't available, but then I saw Mirriam beckoning me from the far side of the room. Her eyes wereshining like stars. What an honor, she said, what a marvelous thing if the Prophet himself came to our house to celebrate the Passover. Surely I could see that.

I told her that what I could see was trouble. Suppose the Temple Guard came and arressted the man while he was under our roof? What if the Romans were watching their spies were everywhere and added our names to their list of subversives? It was too risky, I said, far too risky.

No, Mirriam insisted, it wasn't. No one would have to know. It was just a matter of two or three hours. By the time they left, it would be dark. Besides, they were willing to pay for 13 people. could we afford to turn them down?

I suppose it was the last argument that convinced me. A year ago, believe me, I wouldn't have admitted that it was a plain case of greed overcomming caution. But that's what it was. I wanted the money. So I finally gave in, and said that they could come.

They came late that afternoon in twos and threes, slipping in quietly, almost furtively, as if they didnt wast to be observed. Their leader was among the last to come. No, I cant tell you exactly what he looked like: I just remember that he had the most extraordinary eyes. when he looked at you, you felt as if he knew everything there was to know about you, all the good , all the bad and understood it all and accepted it all. What color were they? Well, I'm not sure... but they were remarkable eyes. Remarkable. When you looked into them, you knew there could be no evil in this man. None at all. Nothing but goodness.

The rest were a mixed lot, and there was a kind of forced gayety about them that concealed a lot of tension. they were frightened, I felt, and were determined not to show it. The big man, in particular was loud and boastful until the leader touched him on the arm and at once he grew still.

They gathered upstairs, and Mirriam and I went into the kitchen to supervise the preparation of the meal. While we were there, one of the maid servients came down and said she had been asked to bring a basin and towels and warm water, so we sent those things. Or rather, Mirriam took them up herself, and I knew why she did it. She just wanted to be in the same room for a moment , with the man from Galilee.

She stayed longer than necessary, and again I thought I knew why. The door of that room is badly hung; there's a crack where someone in the hallway can see right through into the room. I didnt want Mirriam making a nuisance of her self, so fianally I went upstairs myself. Sure enough, she was standing quietly just outside the closed door. when she saw me, she held up one hand as if waarning me to be slilent. Inside the room I could hear voices. One that I recognized as belonging to the big mand seemed to be raised in protest about something. I went and stood beside Mirriam where I could also see through the crack, and what I saw amazed me. the man called Jesus had taken off his long robe abd wrapped one of the towels around his waist. he was kneeling on the floor in front of the big red haired man. and he was washing his feet. Patiently, carefully washing his feet. Ignoring his protests. Washing and drying his feet.

Back down in the kitchen, I tried to express my feelings to Mirriam. "What sort of leader is he?" I asked her. I felt shaken, somehow by what I had seen, " Why does he humiliate himself like that?"

Mirriam shook her head, but I persisted" Why would he do such a thing? Why?"

Mirriam said " Cant you see? Its the love in him."

I thought about that a lot that evening. In fact, I've thought about it ever since. I can shut my eyes right now and see his hands, those gentle strong hands, placing those reluctant feet into the basin, pouring water over them, wiping them dry. The love in him? Yes, I think Mirriam was right. That's what it was. The love in him.

Not much else happened that I can remember. One of the group, a hawk faced man with a haunted look, left before the others. He went out into the night, and hi didnt come back. All of the rest rememained for quite a while. We heard them sing a hymn, and then they came downstairs, subdued and silent. Before they left, the leader turned to Mirriam and touched her hand. "Dont be afraid. No harm will come to you house because of me." then he followed the others into the silent street.

When the door closed behind them,I waited for the flood of relief I had felt sure would come. But it didnt come. Insted I felt a kind of emptiness, a sense of loss that 's impossible to describe. All I can tell you is that it was a desolate feeling.

I went back to the upper room-it was just as they had left it-and stood there for a while. You know how a room sometimes retains the atmosphere, the impressions of what has hapened in it? Well that's the way it was. I found myself wondering what had been said,listening for echos of words, almost hearing them. But not quite, of course. Not quite....

In a corner, still stood the pitcher and the basinand the towels. I went over and picked up one that had been used. It was damp and stained, but it was just as his hands had left it. Those patient loving hands. I tried to imagine the warmth in his touch and-it's odd what tricks the mind will play sometimes-there did seem to be a lingering warmth in the folds of the cloth. When I went back downstairs, I took it with me. Somehow I didnt want the servants to find it and wash it. I put it in that chest over there. It's been there ever since.

They arrested him later that night, as you know. and they killed him the next day. At least they tried to kill him. Some say they didnt succeed, and my wife Mirriam is one of these. When I ask her how such a thing could be, she just smiles and says that love is stronger than death. Now there's a strange idea for you. Stronger than death.

Now and then Mirriam meets with other people who share these opinions. She keeps asking me to go with her and one of these days I think I might. In some ways I dont want to go, but it's as if a gentle hand is pushing me in that direction. One of these days I'll probably go. Just to see what goes on.

The towel itself? You think the pressure I'm feeling may come from the towel in the chest over there? No, I wouldnt say that. After all, its only a piece of cloth. You'd like to see it? Well, certainly, I'll get the key. No, it's not any trouble. Anyway, I thought that you'd ask.

People always do, when they hear the story. Yes, they always do....


@ Authur Gordon, 1988 used without permission

April 12, 2006

The Plot To Kill Jesus- a Poem

"Mary at the Cross" original unpublished work by Louis Glanzmann



The Plot to Kill Jesus


She saw very well
that everyone was against him.
The government and the people
Together
And that would get him
that they would down him.
What was curious was
that all the derision
was heaped on him
Not at all on her
For her
There was no derision
There was only respect
for her
For her grief
For her woe
they didnt insult her

On the contrary
People even refrained
from looking at her
All the better
to respect her
All the more
to respect her


She, too had gone up
Gone up with everyone else
Up to the very top
of the hill
Without being aware of it
Her legs carried her
and she did not know it
she, too.. had made her
Way of the Cross

Everybody
was against him
Everybody
wanted him to die
It is curious
People that are usually not together
The Government and the People
So the government
bore him a grudge as did
the rudest of carters
As much as the rudest of carters
And as the rudest of carters
like the government
As much as the government

That was awful luck
When you have one for you
nd the other against you
You come through sometimes
You get out of it
You can get through it
You can come through

But
He would not come through
Surely he would not come through
When you have everyone against you

But what had he done to everyone....

I will tell you

He had saved the world.

By Charles Peguy
translated from the French

April 10, 2006

Making New Friends

Old Friends Taking a Nap.... Carroll County Arkansas

Just as my job situation was bound to break, I had a few relationships that have been doomed for a long time.

I am one of those people that held to the "use it up, wear it out, or do without" mantra for many years, but living with Woody has changed me... His mantras are..."Money spent means nothing if you aren't happy.." Or "Money doesn't buy happiness but try living without it." Gems of wisdom that I have been slow to absorb, but I am learning...I was ever a quick study...

Last week I get a call from Woody, "Hey, I have a buyer for your van..." I said "You do? I didn't know that we were selling it."

As it turned out the buyer for the van really didn't have the money required but there was another couple that were in their 80's that had a brand new Dodge Caravan that "was too big for them, they weren't comfortable driving it anymore" Neat as a pin with 9500 miles on it, Woody wanted to trade our car in for it. This was the Dodge Intrepid we bought in Houston when we first landed. I loved how the car looked and felt but after driving it a while it wasn't the same as my green machine that I left on the Big Island and I really missed the feel of a big car. My Toyota van that we bought here in Arkansas was comfy but rode like the 103,000 miles well broke in truck that it is. A work horse that runs like a watch and needs little care. Woody was concerned that I was putting 300 miles a week on that and tend to wander backroads, so having a newer nimbler vehicle was his good idea.

I warmed to the idea slowly. The Intrepid depreciated horribly in the year we owned it and I was going to have to take out a loan to buy the van. Well I decided that Woody needed to be comfortable too (he is so big that he cant hardly get in and out of the low slung car) and the two miles up and back would not tax the older van, and once he gets another job (that tale for another post, Woody is likely going to have to find another job...)So I ok'd the trade and the small loan for the balance and bought the new van... There is nothing quite like "new car smell"


My New "Local Ride" It fits my Image these days... I am camouflaged among the other middle aged women shopping at Walmart.

Of course it didn't stop there... This was Saturday, then Monday I got my phone... You know the one I posted about a week or so ago as I bemoaned tech gadgetry and my inability to cope. I had gotten a bazillion voice mails, my Uncle Peter had passed away and I had a job interview pending and...My phone is dead as a door nail. Not the battery It I had charged. I have needed to update the operating system for 6 months and my computer hates the thing and doesn't want to do this. I have to back up all of the peripheral programs, and that takes time We are talking two days work... Who has time for that? So I put it of and off and fianlly I said "I have had enough. I know I spent 500.00 bucks on this but I dont care, I am getting a new cool phone. I dont care what it costs, or how much money I "leave on the table"."

So I walked into the Cingular store in Rogers and my fave sales guy who has helped me through a bunch of Treo disasters, Andrew, was right there, and I pulled the phone out and shook it and said "I want a divorce, I am through with this guy!" He laughed and said "Well I wondered how long it would take you", I have the perfect phone for you. And he was right.


My new Pink Thing, My RAZR phone

I am still learning how to use it, I may be the only person you will ever meet that must read the manual but I love it. And the best part is that my phone and my computer never have to meet... My computer is a jelous creature and wants nothing to do with any other electrical device... It hates my Ipod too, I have to go to system restore everytime I back the thing up somehow it corrupts my computer terribly. Any thoughts on this problem?

The cats want to know if we are going to trade them in. Makoa has been a royal pain, even to the point of doing something unmentionable on our bed. We forgave him, but they are now banished form our bedroom while we are gone... But even with all of that, I dont think so, we would leave too much money on the table. After all they are priceless.

we are too adorable to be trade ins

April 09, 2006

Behold Your King~ Matthew 21:1-11

Tropical Skies Palms at the Canoe Launch Hilo Hawaii


Matthew 21:1-11


The Triumphal Entry

(Mark 11:1-10; Luke 19:28-40; John 12:12-19)

Now when they drew near Jerusalem, and came to *Bethphage, at the Mount of Olives, then Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, "Go into the village opposite you, and immediately you will find a donkey tied, and a colt with her. Loose them and bring them to Me. And if anyone says anything to you, you shall say, 'The Lord has need of them,' and immediately he will send them."
*All this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying:


"Tell the daughter of Zion,
'Behold, your King is coming to you,
Lowly, and sitting on a donkey,
A colt, the foal of a donkey.'"


So the disciples went and did as Jesus commanded them. They brought the donkey and the colt, laid their clothes on them, and set Him on them. And a very great multitude spread their clothes on the road; others cut down branches from the trees and spread them on the road. Then the multitudes who went before and those who followed cried out, saying:


"Hosanna to the Son of David!
'Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!'
Hosanna in the highest!"


And when He had come into Jerusalem, all the city was moved, saying, "Who is this?"
So the multitudes said, "This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth of Galilee."

April 07, 2006

Friday Evening on the Lanai

Dogwood at my door, Early blooms of our Dogwood trees. Bella Vista AR

The sighing wind draws me,
out, to the screen in porch
Where the kitties are sniffing the breeze
after a day indoors

I too am drawn to fresh evening air
and seem not to care about dinner
or bills or anything but quiet
after a day in the office

The dogwoods at my door remind,
that the days of spring are few
and fading like the blossoms
after unseasonable heat

The soft pastels of spring
Bright pinks and breathless greens
Accented by creamy dogwood blossoms
Charm and beguile me to sit till dusk

And inhale the sweetness of tiny pleasures
Flowering gifts of Ozark Spring
Here for a moment, gone with the rain
Retuning in the silence of the evening

April 06, 2006

Collected Thoughts

Sunset Caldwell Idaho

I have been thinking today, spent a lot of my day thinking watching the storm outside knowing that we had a tornado watch in place. Woody called me to tell me that he would head home to secure things if the watch became a warning. Where the car lot is is particualrly dangerous out in the flat and open Sugar Creek area just inside the Missouri State line. He saw lightning strike a pole just up the street from the car lot. Down here in Lowell, our office complex is on a flattish area just south of where the tornados came through two weeks ago, as the sky blackened we wondered if we would see more of them and we all made plans to "head for the head" The large bathrooms are re enforced and set up as safe rooms ajacent to the stairwells and equipt with emergency handlights...

But no the cell passed over us with a roar and a bang no hail and no one was zapped. I consider this a miracle here at "thisplace" because earlier this week there was an announcement that two new accounts are being set up with 30 positions to be filled. All positions have been interviewed for and hired. There is so much migration going to happen that the cube maps for the company are being redrawn so that space can be made for the newly formed teams to sit together. Some were migrating to and from our other buildings and when the storm hit there was much scrambiling to get indoors away from Mother Nature throwing a fit... Computers that get wet arent much use to anyone!

The Drama of new accounts is like the evening of the Academy awards... People have speculated for several weeks over this. I have kept my peace about it. I interviewed for only one of them, which surprised me, as I had heard that our manager was going to get one.You would think that I had proved myself, right? "But then," I thought, "maybe they blame him for this fickle account that we have and he isnt getting it." But I was wrong...One account was handed over to my current boss and he was able to bring along 9 of the 15 people he currently has. Three will be staying on to run the remains of the old account that will be staying with us. That left three people two of us "floaters" and another man that has been with the firm since it started. There is much scrambling to find the exec something to do.

I am very happy to report that the other account, a major food supplier and distributor decided that I was a welcome addition to the mix and so I have been hired to work on a account finally, after four months of waiting.

This lady I will be working for is a peach of a gal who pushed to get me on with her group, "because" she said, "I wasnt a quitter", and the story of our journey that has circulated through the company, "thrilled her". She felt I was perfect for a start up account, and we are well matched. Both she and her exec assitant har cancer survivors and understand that work is not the be all and end all but I do expect to work my butt off for the next six months. But I wont get flack for requests for time off and such as that. In this business you are considered a slacker if you take time off for a vacation.

We started to move our stuff into new spaces, some recently vacated others have been standing empty for months. My new space has a view of a window that, from the second floor, allows me to see the central courtyard, and the rolling countryside beyond. Straight on from there is Oklahoma...

later

its about 830pm and we have a tornado warning is rolling through, Woody is a bit concerned having learned his lesson two weeks ago about "warnings"... I think the storm is going to miss us but its wreaked havoc on a lot of people...

As the sky is rumbling and the wind blows and I collect my thoughts of the day, I wonder about tomorrow but know it and today are in Good Hands. Life is good and I know Who to thank for that!

April 05, 2006

Thinking Of You, Mom

Getting Her Shot. My Mother at Painted Desert-Petrified Forest National Park Holbrook Arizona, July 1986. Already suffering from Parkinsons, she managed to walk nearly a half a mile to get to this rise to take a photo. She was a published amature photographer and often submitted pieces for publication.

Dear Mom,

Its your birthday again...

I cant believe that you are still with us. It was just a few days ago that we year minded Pope John Paul II's death, and I thought then that you were not far behind... there is no knowing why God allows us to go on and on in our suffering. The Holy Father said that suffering was something we can offer to God just as we offer praise and Thanksgiving, if that is true then you have done more than your fair share.

It has been nearly a year since we have spoken. It was getting too hard to talk, for you to make the words and for me to find them. I didnt have a phone you could hear and you cannot always get to your phone at a time when I could call... At the time, it was The Journey too. A journey that I am not sure you understood. Few people did. I think you felt like my existance was tenuous when really I was safer and better cared for than I have been ever in my life. I have the best life ever, but it is hard to explain that to a person that feels she must know every thing and how it is supposed to go. I didnt always know what was next and that created anxiety for you that nothing I could say would assauge...This has been a year of really learning to let God work things out for His good, and not to try to be in control everything.

Truthfully, I also could not bare it anymore. What you are going through is my worst nightmare, and to not be able to be there to somehow make it better was killing me. There is nothing I can do to change what you are going through or the surroundings that you are forced to live this out in. The nursing home is what it is clean and caring but it is your prison as you said nearly every time we talked. Truthfully your body and the debilitating illness you suffer is the prison you are in. There are no cell doors on a body that refuses to work as God intended...Better to let it go, better to admit that I am a coward and move forward. I can write and tell you in word bites the order of my days... You have a postcard or letter that you can read and read again when you are lonely.

I wish I could be there and see you but also I am relieved that I cannot be there. Truthfully, I want to remember you like I see you in my minds eye... I want to remember the music that you played and how unique that was and, I want to see that will to live that was gone when I saw you last and I could do nothing to help you...

I pray for you all day long, you are in my heart.. I love you

Your daughter

"Hokulea"

April 04, 2006

Warnings Of A New Civil War

The Union Line Pea Ridge National Battlefield Pea Ridge Arkansas


We have seen it on the news, in the papers and in the streets. We see it in our over crowded schools that now have large numbers of non english speaking children and in neighborhoods where overnight the signs in windows have become bi-ligual, and there are groups of men hanging around on streets waiting for mysterious vans to pick them up for a days work. We see it in emergency rooms overflowing with paitents that need a familiy doctor but go there because they have no family doctor and no insurance...
States are looking for ways to raise money and in some states schools and other infrastructure are going to have to built to deal with the problem

We see it not just in the border states but in places like North Carolina and here in Arkansas where branches of the Mexican Consulate have been established to help deal with issues due to illegal immigration. We as Americans have never seen such an onslaught of immigrants that are choosing not to assimillate but insted are radically changing the cultural demographic in this land. Sadly it is human nature to fall to the lowest common denominator, which is what is happening in most places that are seeing the greatest number of migrant workers decend upon them like a flight of locusts devouring and changing the land scape forever...


Last August I wrote a post on what I see is a comming Civil War. It may or may not be fought with guns. The neighborhood I moved out of in California was pretty genteel but filled with Americans of Mexican exstraction that will have to decide where they stand on this issue. As a Latina myself (I am 25 percent Spaniard) paternal grand daughter of immigrants that came here legally from Europe I am outraged at this wholesale flouting of the law on both sides of the border.

I am even more upset at those that should be doing what they can from their lofty positions in the Latino Community. Men like Roger Cardinal Mahoney, Spiritual leader of the largest Catholic Diocese in the US who blatantly stated that he will order priests to disobey any rulings that would infringe on the churches "right" to aid and abet illegal alliens. This is an outright abuse of power and misuse of Biblical teaching that we are to care for the alien and the stranger among us. The Bible doesnt say we are to harbor lawbreakers and obstruct justice.

A really sick thing is how in Los Angeles and else where the "plight" of illegals is be equated to the victims of the Holocaust. Im sorry but this was beyond the pale and summed up beautifully in this post from Laurence Simon of TBIFOC

This vocabulary lesson from Josue Serra at "Latino Issues" goes a little futher with with the discussion that these people are not immigrants. Immigrants assimilate,these folks dont... they have no ties here but the money that they get and yes there are some taxes paid into the system, but by and large this group consumes more services than they pay in particularly in the arenas of education and healthcare. I highly reccomend this insightful blog that spotlights theses issues in fine detail.

And while some of you are thinking "wow what a racist!" Lets talk about race. More than one pundit has mentioned it and as I spoke a few days ago to a African American man about this he mentioned it that "had a bazillion black kids walked out of class to"protest" they would have had the National Guard out with the dogs and water cannons..." His anger was palpable "What our people have fought for for years as legal citizens born and raised here, the illegals they want legeslated equality immediately and just might get it!" "It just fries me to see how kid gloved the Mexicans are treated and the Black Man has to struggle..." He was right on all counts. I think that in the face of illegal immigration the black race has struggled even harder and many of the jobs that people of color held certainly in LA where I am originally from have been taken by cheaper paid illegal labor.

The race hatred has never been worse in LA as far as I am concerned. Whites are dismayed by towns and cites that were once clean and prosperous now run down and shabby, and not an English sign in sight. In my own home town when I visited in December of 2004 I was agast at the dismal sight of my city, once a bastion of upper middle class affluence with its high paying Aerospace jobs, and gated neighborhoods with executive ranch homes tended lawns and swimming pools. It was what everyone thinks of when they think of Southern California Suburbia. There was trash in the streets and grafftti on walls. Lawns had cars parked on them and the ubiquitous gangs of men waiting for work on street corners. A friend of ours teaches in the High School there, and every year it gets rougher and rougher with lower scores and fewer kids native born that speak english... Real Estate prices are still in the stratosphere, so two and three families buy one house and crowd into it, or they are rented out for a King's Ransom...garages are converted and neighborhoods become crowded shabby slums.

Who wants to live like this? Hey I know why they come and yes I wouldnt want to live in Mexico either. By the Grace of God I was born "del Norte" and I thank God for that. But I also want to preserve the way of life that I love. I want to preserve it from the alien culture that threatens to subsume us, as well as the Terrorist Threat that looms because we wont secure our borders. Let me ask you how can we keep the likes of Al Queida out, while we have borders that are like sieves, It is insane to think that we can keep the terrorists out and let hordes of undocumented in.

What to do? First, those of us that are concerned need to keep the pressure up on our elected officials. Do not relent and do not give in. Then as a business owner demand papers that are legit, and if in doubt do without. There is a growing movement to just not fill jobs if the paperwork looks fishy, and press for some sort of national ID card... Yes I hate it too, but its time for this necessesary bit of identification. NO AMNESTY, period... Build that fence, and put the National Guard on the inner side of it... The fence in Israel has helped deter homocide bombings by a huge percentage. As they say here in the South...Good fences make good neighbors.

And America, we need to open our eyes and get real. No other country in the world has accepted the number of immigrants that we have and no other country has done more to help the worlds poor than we have. Mexico is a rich nation that can care for its people if the government wasnt so corrupt. Let them do it, by allowing this situation we are enabling corruption and setting us up for a fall that will be disasterous for all Americans. We are not responsible to eliminate all of the suffering in this world, but we are responsible to end the exploitation of illegal labor in our own land and we need to do it now, before things get uglier than they already are.

April 03, 2006

I Will Be True To the Promise I Have Made...

Country Dawn near Cave Springs Arkansas

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear,
I will be here.

If in the dark we lose sight of love
hold my hand and have no fear
'Cause, I will be here.

I will be here
when you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak you mind
I will lisiten
And I will be here
when the laughter turned to crying
Through the winning losing and trying
We'll be together

'Cause I will be here.

Hoku, this is Aunt Betty Grace and I have very bad news, Uncle Peter died and is being burried as I speak...As you can imagine this is the worst day of your Aunt Jean's life...

...Yes I can imagine. These ladies are my father's cousins, my paternal grandfather had two sisters who each had a daughter, he had the one son, my Dad. My grandmother, for some reason, I believe due to my grandfather's vile temper and alcoholic rages, not to mention that she was a Spanish foreigner, child bride, who married my grandfather in a hurry (if you know what I mean) at 15 and very unwelcome by the family, abandoned the marriage and her 4 year old son, who was raised by Aunt Jean's parents. According to my father and to what I have observed, these people were horribly abusive to both their daughter and to their nephew. My father was able to secure his emancipation at 17 and enter the US Navy at the height of WWII, Jean, then around 25 ran off and married an Itallian accountant named Peter Lucivero. He was madly in love with her and she with him, and her parents disliked him for his dark complexion and his immigrant roots. She didnt care about any of that, she loved him and she just wanted to get away...

I am telling you a family legend, to family members that may read this, I am repeating the tale as I heard it from my father and observed it on my own. Should you think there are errors let me know...

My father told me that Jean and Peter witnessed his first marriage to a lady also named Jean in 1948. The Lucivero's had been married for a while by then but something was wrong, my dad couldnt put his finger on it at the time, but soon it bacame apperent that Aunt Jean was very mentally ill. There was no treatment like we have now, no drugs. The "hospitals" that these unfortunates were locked up in were nightmares that would drive a sane person mad, and did nothing to help the insane. She was never locked up in an institution. Uncle Peter due to the constant need to look after her, lost his job and then their modest home. They lived out of a car, never staying in one place for long. She was obsessive compulsive, and paranoid. He would leave her long enough to get some day labor, any thought of resuming his career was folly.

My earliest memory of them was a windy night in 1966. I was four and I remember vivdly this lady that stood in the middle of the front yard with a newspaper over her head. She wouldnt come into the house, for fear of "contamination" and was covering herself to protect herself from the tiny falling willow leaves. It was pathetic. My father, already in the midst of mental meltdown wept at the sight of her ravaged looks, and unkept condition, their life on the run from imaginary demons, and Peter not having any way to help except just being there.

A few years later, we were to experience our own dark night of severe mental illness when my father finally brokedown. He was institutionalized for our and his safety, and the primitive drug therapies of the early 70's did help him. He was able to have a somewhat normal domestic life and never lived in the streets or was uncared for. Hats off to my mother for putting up with that when most women would have locked him up and thrown away the key.

It was during this period sometime in the 1970's that Jean and Peter managed to settle in Southern California. We were told that they lived as caretakers on a large estate in south Orange County. She would periodically call us from a Kmart store and want to know about how we were doing. She never shared details of her life, and we didnt pry, for fear of scaring her off. This charade went on for 15 years.

Because as it turned out, they were living in a small moble home near by Disneyland. We got a call in the mid 1990's that Jean was in the hospital and my mother's phone number was the emergency contact number. The chaplain at the hospital told us what hospital she was in. My mother was all for barrelling down there to see her. I asked the chaplain to ask Jean and Peter if this was ok and miraculously it was.

It was a grand reunion. My father had been dead for several years by then and Jean had become better with the help of a sensitive doctor and todays wonderful drugs for mental illness. She was in the hospital for heart surgery and by this point was ready to see us. We did have a few bumps in the road. My Mom, went to check on them uninvited and was roundly scolded by Aunt Jean for "violating her privacy". She treatened to run again because we knew where she was. But Peter talked her out of it saying that it didnt matter that we "knew"...what I dont know. We never did get the straight story of where they had lived all of those years and as I sit here today, I know that doesnt matter. Aunt Jean was as healed of her affliction as she can be and now faces the greatest test of her life. She is alone without "her rock". But her new found faith in God (she became a born again Christian in 1997,at 77. Peter was always a Catholic)will sustain her, and at 86, she wont be without Peter for very long...

Through it all he was there for her. What an example to follow... I know that many people have said to me that Woody and I should split up, that I am wasting my life. But we sang this song at my wedding and I meant every word of it. Would to God that I would do as well indealing with a mate's frailties as my uncle Peter....

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the future is unclear
I will be here.

As sure as the seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
So I will be here

I will be here
You can cry on my sholder
When the mirror tells us were older
I will hold you
And I will be here
to watch you grow in beauty
and tell you all the things you are to me
We'll be together...

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to The One Who gave you to me...

For I will be here....

Steven Curtis Chapman

Please, if you remember, say a prayer for this fragile spirit for her grief and loss and for my Catholic readers, rememberance in your prayers and as you say the rosary today for the repose of Uncle Peter's soul, I would be in your debt.

April 02, 2006

Ecclesiastes - Chapter 8 Death Comes to All

Bridges over the Wailoa Hilo Hawaii

Ecclesiastes - Chapter 8


Who is like a wise man?
And who knows the interpretation of a thing?
A man's wisdom makes his face shine,
And the sternness of his face is changed.
Obey Authorities for God's Sake


I say, "Keep the king's commandment for the sake of your oath to God. Do not be hasty to go from his presence. Do not take your stand for an evil thing, for he does whatever pleases him."


Where the word of a king is, there is power;
And who may say to him, "What are you doing?"
He who keeps his command will experience nothing harmful;
And a wise man's heart discerns both time and judgment,
Because for every matter there is a time and judgment,
Though the misery of man increases greatly.
For he does not know what will happen;
So who can tell him when it will occur?
No one has power over the spirit to retain the spirit,
And no one has power in the day of death.
There is no release from that war,
And wickedness will not deliver those who are given to it.


All this I have seen, and applied my heart to every work that is done under the sun: There is a time in which one man rules over another to his own hurt.

Death Comes to All

Then I saw the wicked buried, who had come and gone from the place of holiness, and they were forgotten* in the city where they had so done. This also is vanity. Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. Though a sinner does evil a hundred times, and his days are prolonged, yet I surely know that it will be well with those who fear God, who fear before Him. But it will not be well with the wicked; nor will he prolong his days, which are as a shadow, because he does not fear before God.
There is a vanity which occurs on earth, that there are just men to whom it happens according to the work of the wicked; again, there are wicked men to whom it happens according to the work of the righteous. I said that this also is vanity.
So I commended enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun.
When I applied my heart to know wisdom and to see the business that is done on earth, even though one sees no sleep day or night, then I saw all the work of God, that a man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. For though a man labors to discover it, yet he will not find it; moreover, though a wise man attempts to know it, he will not be able to find it.