July 31, 2005

Your Glorious Deeds

His Glorious Artistic Work... Butterfly Farm of Branson MO


Revelation 15:3-4


Great and Mighty are Your works
Lord God Almighty!
Righteous and True are Your ways,
O King of the Nations!

Who would dare refuse You honor,
or the glory due Your Name, O Lord?

Since You alone are holy,
all nations shall come
and worship in Your presence.
Your mighty deeds are clearly seen!

from "The Magnificat" July 2005 issue

July 30, 2005

Change In Focus

Summer Fields the sheeprun Beaver AR

Its been pretty discouraging dealing with this whole house thing this week. No matter what I want the work guys to do they do it halfway or they dont do it at all and its a big mess. I must say that we did have a bit of progress and the bath is now partially done, and wonder of wonders, they are hauling their trash out... Dumpsters are in very short supply so they just dump the trash in the garage in a pile, then pick it up with a dump truck as they can...The pile of garbage in my house really bothered me. Seeing part of it gone has helped.

Cowtown Pattie of "Texas Trifles" has the right of it. She commented a few days ago that I needed to relax and continue to explore the surrounding area. Its been hard to let go, but I have taken some driving excursions around the area and tried to let go of the situation and be paitent.

Friday, I went to get the mail and due to the lovely cold front, that made things so much more comfortable temperature wise, one lady I spoke to called it a "Las Cruces" with the skies a brightest blue and fluffy clouds and low humidity and cool breeze...I drove and drove... everytime I saw a road I wanted to go on I did. I think I put 200 miles on the van, I was singing to Keali'i Rachel... (I wonder what other drivers thought of the Hawaiian music in upstate Arkansas...) and forgot for a moment my troubles.

A bad accident caused the road I needed to get home to be closed for quite a while, so I turned around and went back to Holiday Island and to the Sun Fest Market, the only place where you can get a sandwich at any hour, and had my dinner there waiting till I heard that the truck had been cleared off the road and that all was well again. I was just glad that the driver was OK and that we other drivers were

I spent today listening to Christian TV, I love it when they play music (no radio in this unit) and just focused on what is important...I cant change anything but myself and that is what I need to focus on right now...and catching up on little important things writing bills and a letter to my Mother. It was good.

Woody came home and wanted to celebrate a week of non acheivement, he hasnt sold a car and the house is creeping along...so its off for Chinese Food, and a better day tomorrow.

July 29, 2005

Friday Cat Blogging

Nani here reminded me that a lot of our friends blog about cats on fridays so we thought that wed join them... This makes her happy as she is such a little camera hound and now that Mom has learned to shut the dratted flash off she is very eager to pose... Big Bro Makoa is still bashful and will run if he sees me going for my camera bag or some such thing.



Having the flash off puts me at a definate disadvantage at night. I missed the shot of the week the other night. Nani and Mak spend most of their days in front of this window looking out into the forest at the wildlife of NW Arkansas. Nani sings at the birds, she has a little fluttery call sort of like a purr but sing songy when a nice bird is near by, like she is saying..."come over here pretty bird"...Mak just pounces at the screen. In the evenings I often open the slider leaving the screen tightly closed so we get a bit of fresh air.

Well, I was making dinner and I hear Nani making her little bird call. Its pitch dark outside so I cant see out past the screen door, so I walk over to the living room to see what is going on. I see what is outside of my screen and freeze in my tracks....My little girl kitty is singing to the biggest Skunk I have ever seen. It was the size of a small dog, very pretty with a gorgeous plume of a tail and the tiniest paws, very delicate.His eyes were bright and curious and his tiny pointed nose was a twitching smelling everything, even getting up on his hind legs and looking about. I only smelled a faint odor, but not very strong... Nani then lays down and starts rolling around like girl kitties do...she flurting with the skunk!. Mak, being a smart cat has fled into the other room by now, not exercising his masculine territorial rights . He knew he was out gunned by this guy!

I didnt want it to feel threatened in the least, so I waited until the lovebirds had their fill of each other and Pepe' Le' Pew was off to another adventure... Then I quickly shut the slider.



Nani is none the worse for wear in her initial inter species flurtation, but it has caused us to rethink the screened in porch as a home for them when we are not around and we will have supervised time out there only. Our Kitties have no idea how dangerous these other animals are, and we dont want them to try to find out...We will all live to love another day with a bit of caution exercised...

July 28, 2005

The End Of An Era

The vision of Obadiah.


Thus says the Lord God concerning Edom
We have heard a report from the Lord,
And a messenger has been sent among the nations, saying,
"Arise, and let us rise up against her for battle"


"Behold, I will make you small among the nations;
You shall be greatly despised.
The pride of your heart has deceived you,
You who dwell in the clefts of the rock,
Whose habitation is high;
You who say in your heart,
'Who will bring me down to the ground?'
Though you ascend as high as the eagle,
And though you set your nest among the stars,
From there I will bring you down," says the Lord.

Obadiah 1:1-4 NKJV


I remember my Father telling me that the men of Apollo 11 read this passage as the circled the moon preparing for the historic landing July 20 1969. And again this passage was read in churches and in public during the worrisome days during the Apollo 13 crisis in 1971. They believed that God would protect and care for the astronauts as they did their heroic tasks... and I believe that God did.

I also believe that the losses we have suffered due to arrogance and greed in NASA and sub contractors, as well as politics are fortolled in that passage and perhaps are again if Mission Control gets arrogant again and assumes too much...

You know, sometimes I think that we in America are our own worst enemy, and I think that as a people we forget that work, innovation and sacrifice are what it takes to keep our nation free, and technologically advanced. We take so much for granted and when we lose something special, like our Space Program, we dont realize how great the loss.

I wrote on the 26th anniverasry of the Apollo 11 landing, July 20 that I didnt think the Orbitor Discovery, or any of the geriatric STS Fleet was safe to fly, that there is just to much out dated technology, and that we have lost the edge that we used to have in this endevour.

Well I saw the launch, and I saw, with out anyone pointing it out to me, that peice of God forsaken foam fly off after it hit the belly of the aircraft, like some horrible nightmare re run. I saw tile fragments fly off as well,... I cursed... "there it is,the end of an era" I said the Woody.. It was bound to come... they have to ground them and frankly, its about time, they are too fragile and use technology that is 30 plus years old. It was always like this, the orbitors are very delicate, and things went on before...we can just now document our ignorance better.

NASA did the right thing today in grounding the fleet, even if it means abandoning the damaged Discovery in orbit, and bringing the crew home in the wretched Soyuz capsules two at a time, which is a whole other disaster in itsself, It dooms the International Space station to a certain death as well... The loss is incalcuable, but better than losing any of those precious souls that risk it all to go up there and extend our knowledge just a little bit more. We owe them the best chance of getting home we can give them...But it is very sad, at least to me...

It still is killing me, I think this is as sad a day as we can have as a nation and it will pretty much go un noticed... Manned Space flight over...for how long...well a long time friends, a very long time.

July 27, 2005

The Hammer

My house from the outside, The Grass is dead from the heat wave but every thing else is the same

I go to my house everyday. I sit on the screened in porch and listen to the wind in the trees and the tiny sounds of the insects...Our neighbors are quiet folk. We have people just moved in on one side... retired teachers from the Bay Area, fellow Californians. The man on the otherside is a professional house sitter, who goes all over the country, staying in homes and caring for pets and livestock while the owners are away. He is gone as many as 9 months of the year...

There is a lot of activity on the circle...A man accross the way is dying, he is elderly and has about two weeks to live now. Even with the pain of virulent liver cancer, he is full of joy at the thought of going home to meet his Lord, would that I would have such faith. Family, Friends and neighbors care for him around the clock

Then there is our house. People are outraged for us that this remodel is dragging on and on, and fear that the work is substandard as well...several of them have keys and have "inspected" the place for themselves...




To get into the porch I must go through the whole house... My living room still looks like this pretty much. I have seen the flooring that will go in and I invision how the place will look...eventually.

I cry a lot. Monday the winds were blowing hot like the Santa Ana of CAlifornia or the Kona winds that blow vog and storm across the Big Island... I would call it "Hell's Breath" for the sulfurous stink and in Hawaiian it is a play on words for the pet name of the island Hamakua or "Breath of Heaven"

I miss Hawaii, especially at the times when Arkansas feels like an alien land... Mind you the people have been wonderful helpful and kind...but this place is unlike anyplace I have ever lived and I have some ajusting to do.... Fortunately, Woody and the cats are thriving in this new place thank God for that.

But "home" has a particular significance for me and to be "out of place" like this for so long is very difficult for me... I am finding myself decorating and doing things in this rental we are in and this "nesting behavior" as Woody calls it, is a fruitless and dysfuntional attempt to make a home here, where I am and that is not a good idea really... as we will just be up rooting again...

The homesickness, rootlessness, idle hands and mind, and this seemingly indifferant attitude by the contractor has had a build up effect on me...and its not good

Well, after a walk around the house... thinking about how long its been since any work was done, I got mad...Mad as Hell....Frankly you dont want to be around me when I get that mad, I yell and sometimes things fly out of my mouth that are pretty ugly. Our best friends on the block, Nancy and Lee saw me pounding my fists on the hood of the van and knew Id just had it. Later they said that they had seen it comming and that the release of tension was a good thing as long as the van wasnt too damaged... now what was I going to do about it...

I went home and got the name of a contract lawyer out of the phone book and called him. He had me read the contract to him and as off the cuff advice said we didint have much to work with. The document wasnt specific enough to penalize them for being so late, but I could just get big and bad as see where it lead..

So we did, Woody and I called for a meeting and fortunately the man that we initially hired (not his boss) showed upa dn was appologetic and seeming sincere in his embarassment over the situation. He promised that the new date would be honored and to not worry.

Well the next day we showed up at the house at 9 am and it was all hands on deck. There was almost too much going on as people were getting in each others way and on each other's nerves...but I could see progress...

Today there were issues going on and yes there were problems but I can see that things are going forward...

The heat wave broke last night too, Its 35 degrees cooler than it was 24 hours ago. As the rain started to fall last night at nine pm it was so hot that steam was rising from the black top as we drove home from our inspection of the days building...Even with the hammer of the lightning flashing all around, there was the blessing of the fullness of rain. I think having been paitent with these men I trusted to help me, the hammer of the law, just the threat of having to deal with it was enough to get things moving again... Its enough to give a girl some hope...

July 26, 2005

Silence

the garden fountain Crescent Hotel Eureka Springs AR




Silence

Sometimes we don't say anything.
Sometimes we sit on the deck
and stare at the masses of goldenrod
where the garden used to be
and watch the color change
from day to day,
the high yellow turning
to mustard and at last
to tarnish.

Starlings flitter
in the branches
of the dead hornbeam
by the fence.
And are these,therefore
the procedures of defeat?
Why am I
saying all this
to you anyway
since you already know it?

But of course
we always tell
each other
what we already know.
What else?

It's the way love is
in a late stage of the world.

"Silence" by Hayden Carruth, from Collected Shorter Poems ©. Copper Canyon Press.

July 25, 2005

The Summer Storm- a photopoem

Union Postions under a summer sky Pea Ridge National Military Park and Battlefield Pea Ridge Ar


A summer day, hot
aware of nothing
but humid heat,
insect hum...




In the distance comes
cold wind, pushing
down from Canada
against the Ozark hills



with the wind comes
a low and heavy sound
Like the Rebel Guns
of yesterday



The sound rolls down
into the beautiful valley
Thunder and lightning
shaking the stones






The contrary winds
Cold from the North
Hot from the South
Collide overhead




The Airel struggle
like thelong ago battle
creating conflict
with dangerous results




Cold Air Victorious
creates circling
vicious, cyclonic
winds of destruction




Clouds divide with
flashing light
opening the heavens
torrential rains



Above me I see
terror in motion
the rolling birth
of a tornado



As I run under cover
I look up to see
the monolith
pass over, dark and deep




The pounding rain drives
me inside, the clouds before it
The Storm, with its winds
is like a destrctive child





This SuperCell passed over at 4 pm saturday 7-23 drifted south about 20 miles and briefly touched down near Gravette AR. Scared me silly

July 24, 2005

Isaiah 55- An Invitation to the Salvation Of God

Let the Seas Roar Rollers coming in on Punalu'u Black Sand Beach


Isaiah 55


...And the Lord said....

"Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink-even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk-it's all free! Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen, and I will tell you where to get food that is good for the soul!

"Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, for the life of your soul is at stake. I am ready to make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the mercies and unfailing love that I promised to David. He displayed my power by being my witness and a leader among the nations. You also will command the nations, and they will come running to obey, because I, the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious."

Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near. Let the people turn from their wicked deeds. Let them banish from their minds the very thought of doing wrong! Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them. Yes, turn to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

"My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

"The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where briers grew, myrtles will sprout up. This miracle will bring great honor to the Lord's name; it will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.

from the New Living Translation

July 23, 2005

Summer Days...

Summer Hayfields Pea Ridge National Military Park and Battlefield Pea Ridge AR

Its staying around 100 degrees, but its amazingly beautiful out. I go out and run errands and go to the new house and stay some every day, thinking about how I want things to be placed once we can move in

I also spend a lot of time driving. The land is turning golden green as the heat burns the hay dry and the drought is taking its toll. I see so many cattle out in the heat and wonder if this is good for them or not, if there is a bit of shade they crowd into it.

on a side note, two Hawaii stories, one very serious and one not so...

First the Texas Equisearch group that has been looking for Natalee Holoway has been dispatched to our old neighborhood in Puna, on the Big Island. A man from Austin TX has been missing for nearly a week near Volcanoes National Park. His car was located in tact and all valuables there. So it wasnt a robbery homocide, sadly something that happens there due to drugs...Hawaii is a very dangerous place to go hiking alone as a visitor. Its not Disneyland...People can fall into steam vents, lava tubes and over cliffs they dont know are there. The resort he was staying at, called Kalani, is in a remote part of Puna near Kapoho. I am linking the news report here.

Secondly, for those that care Yes, on the last few shows Dog, the Bounty Hunter has been grabbing bail jumpers in my old neighborhood . We see a lot of people and places that we know and we laugh when we see cops that we know, and sad when we see people that we think were patrons, or problems of our jewelry store....or think that we know... that part of our Hawaii experience we are glad is behind us


Woody got his first paycheck, and is very happy about it. Our tile was delivered so I hope that means that work is going to continue on our house...I am praying so.

July 22, 2005

Bread In The Desert

The Little Golden Gate Bridge on Beaver Lake Beaver Arkansas

Its been in the hundreds with bright cloud strewn skies. Life is going along here, I really cant complain at all. I have a safe clean COOL place to live, the kitties are thriving, Woody is selling cars and is happy on his job... But I am not where I want to be, and I am unhappy about it.

I went on the mail run today. Now that I have a vehicle and can go where I want I do leave the little apartment that we are living nearly everyday, and once a week I go to Holiday Island to pick up mail, and run any errands. I go shopping, and have cruised yard sales picking up some gems for my new home, including a 100 year old quilt in remarkable condition. I put the nasty thing that was on my bed in here and use the quilt when I make my bed in the rental. Woody and I have bought new wardrobes even though we have a closet full of stuff in storage...Im going to have to have a moving van come here and move a ton of stuff. I am boxing things as I go along and collecting cartons all the time...

The drive was nicer than usual, with the bright sunshine. I shot a bunch of pictures and will post them... But it was very hot and I have the distinct feeling that I am spinning my wheels. This is all busywork...

Nothing in the box about the postal work. Or the interview with the funiture place. I did have a tremendous break and was put in contact with one of the formen for Walmarts jewelry repair division, and I put in an application and resume that this gal is hand carrying to hirirng. Likely to take four to six weeks to get hired, if I get hired...

Today is the last day of the contract with our contractor. He is now out of compliance and we are in trouble. He is not calling Woody back when he calls and when he talks to me he is painfully polite. But his opinion is that we are somehow putting things off and should just move in to a half finished house. Well I cant move in with no running water, clown... think!... nothing is holding him back but planning and manpower...

and money... I fear he is going bankrupt, my worst nightmare

We cant get too mad at him as the money we have already given him should have been used to pay vendors, but wasnt... So we cant have him skipping town on us, but I want my house finished. And Im not sure how to make him...

Its really hard. I drove down from Eureka Springs to Berryville, so I could see the flooring that had come in, its stunning and I cant wait to get it all done... The tile is here for the bathroom, but nothing is being done

As I walk through my empty house, over 100 degrees inside, half done, feeling like my life is on hold I just wonder how long its going to be before we get to go home...I know that God has a reason for every bit of timing delay, and I need to release control and allow God to work things out...After all He has provided all the food the Children of Israel needed during their march through the desert, and He has provided all that I need right now.

I just need to supply the paitence...

July 21, 2005

Fireflies- A Poem

Iris Gardens of the Crescent Hotel Eureka Springs Arkansas

I have no photos of the fireflies here. I cant get them on camera, as my shuterspeed is too slow.... They are thick in the forested areas around here. Mak and Nani swat them off the window screens, and Woody and I, when out driving at night, grieve for every one that we mash with our car as we drive down the roads at night. For us they are little gems of the Ozarks, something beautiful and unexpected that we found here by surprise and delight....


"Fireflies"

By Karl Kirchwey


Those nights the fireflies love best,
windless and a little humid,
when they are current in the pasture,
busy in their greeny traffic,
signaling beneath the stars
("Like a nightclub's marquee," she says,
remembering Fifty-Second Street),
then I think pleasure is like this,
accomplished in a perfect silence
undeceived by loneliness.

And in the morning on the lawn,
seedpods of Eastern cottonwood
lie scattered open, white and brilliant,
as if true to some child's account
of what pleasure becomes with daylight.


beauty is where you find it

July 20, 2005

One Small Step for a Man

fragile moon over Wailua Kauaii courtesy of kauaiikim

The Moon...I stare at it sometimes and think of the dreams of so many people that wanted our nation to be the first to land on it, to walk its surface, and to live on it. My father was one of those people. He spent many hours as a young man dreaming of flight. After his WWII tour in the Navy he went to work in aircraft plants in San Diego. On this date last year I wrote about his experiences in the space program and the situation we find our space program in today.

The orbiter Discovery sits on her launch pad at the Cape. Gantried for flight , her current mission is on indefinate hold...She is an elderly ship, of obsolete design, never meant to fly as many missions as she has. Even with the retrofit she has been given since that fateful day in 2003 when her sister Columbia blew apart in the Texas skies, killing the precious cargo of crew members, (may God have mercy on their souls!)I personally don't think she is safe to fly. The two delays show the care that is being given to the launch, the concern about every little glitch...But there are too many things to go wrong...

We need to let go of this particular generation of spacecraft and move forward to a newer and more efficient design. I believe it could be done and if the nation has a will to do it we can. But it will mean putting plans on hold for manned exploration of space off for a full generation...Something I don't think the public is expecting.

Short sightedness on the part of several Presidential Administrations, as well as entrenched complacency at NASA, have left us out of the running in the global space race. China, Japan, India, and the EU all have space agencies that are actively pursuing projects. Our own JPL and other private agencies are doing great unmanned space exploration... But as a nation we are falling behind in the manned space flight area...With our resources currently and rightly positioned in the War on Terror, I doubt that much money will end up appropriated to space research in the next few years...

So was my Father's work in vain? I think not. For all around me I see the benefits of scientific advancement. We enjoy the lives that we do and all the things that make our lives easier because of research. Lets move forward, both in space and in the laboratory to learn all that we can about the world around us. Learning new things is the best gift we can give to the next generation.

July 19, 2005

The Pillar of Cloud

The Pillar of Cloud, near Bella Vista Ar

.
.

With a column of cloud
you led Your people by day,
and by night
with a column of fire,
to light
the way of their journey,
the way
that they must travel

On Mt. Sinai
You came down,
You spoke with them
from heaven.
You gave them ordinances,
firm laws,
good statutes
and commandments.

Nehemiah 9:12-13

We have been surrounded with magnificent cloudscapes these past few days. The weather systems that linger to the south have been pushed up by the hurricane pressures. As hot as its been, the humidity breeds up manificent thunderheads, masses and masses of cumulus nimbus, creating a brilliant, bright white lit landscape....







The people around me as I travel about town, shop, ect, is "please God, let it rain.." But the clouds as full and beautiful as they are have so far played us false
and no moisture falling at all. In what is fast becomming a full blown drought, this long time between rains is hurting farmer, and rancher alike. Grass is turning brown on pasture and golf course, and we are on voluntary rationing of water

I was reminded of the clouds this morning in my reading. God used clouds to lead His people to places of safety, and protected them both by day and by night... I see over and over like the Travelers of the Sinai, that God has provided and protected us every step of the way. The clouds also provided direction. Somehow, the Children of Israel knew when the cloud was going to move, and prepared for it. I want to be that aware of what God's doing.

July 18, 2005

My Hilo Friend Revisited

Palms at Rainbow Falls

Written July 16, 2005

I started to post this as a comment on Haloscan, but it failed as Haloscan has for the past few days and I realized that any posting opportunity should not be missed and placed there to disappear into the back hole of blogger archived nothingness. I have so little to say these days in comparison to my days in Hawaii, that I feel my muse was Poliahu, goddess of Mauna Kea's snows or Pele, goddess of Mauna Loa's fiery lava...I have left it behind ...I wonder what I am to write about, some how the Mana or Manna of words comes eventually, but I worry about boring you.

I realized that I had never written about Sherry in all of my blogging except once in this post last December. Sherry, as a fledgling real estate agent was coming to grips with the deforestation, the incredible changes that are going on, there on the Big Island... Her Island... (For those that have never lived on an island, you cannot understand the pride the words "my island" generates...I think this is where the British get their special strength...) Her cry of "you don't understand" was born of many generations of living with and on the land of Hawaii'ne,. Maui, Oahu, Mo'lokai'i and for the past 100 years the Big Island.

Her story is one that should be told. I often encouraged her to encourage her mother, a legendary High School teacher...Everyone knew of or had sat classes under Mrs. Vierra, who taught English and Classical Spanish, to pidgin speaking farm kids in Hilo town's local High School, to write down or record the family history. She had lived through both tsunami's, and was as we left the island beginning to record her families extraordinary story on audio for the Pacific Tsunami Museum and Research center. I think that the whole family history from the first should be told.

Sherry is a Haolie, descended of British missionaries and a Whaling ship owner that all arrived around 1820-29, then later these English married into a Portuguese family that came over to work the land for the King of Hawaii, she has a noble heritage. Fully subjects of the Hawaiian Kings, still angry about the overthrow, its my feeling that she and her family are as "Hawaiian" as those of Polynesian descent. Unfortunately the courts have ruled otherwise in the apartheid like system that separates the races in this 50th state of the USA. Sherry was denied the Kamehameha School education (the best the islands have to offer) and attended to public school. That's another story, as she fought to get her daughter into the Kam school system along with other white families that can trace their lineage back to pre-overthrow Hawaii.

Sherry lived a gypsy life once out of school, spending a great deal of time traveling the Islands of the Pacific. She ran a import clothing business, all the garments made in Bali, and she enthralled me in the tales of her life there, deeply enmeshed in what is to me a totally alien culture.

We shared a job at a jewelry store that was so unkind to me that it drove me to actually think that "I could do it better..." And so was birthed Azure Seas Jewelry right there in the competitors showroom. I cant say I did things better now just differently, and we were more colleagues than competitors.The fact that I did so much of my planning while working there ended up causing a strain in our friendship once I opened up my store. She needed her job, and I let things go as busy as I was.

We were never as close as we were in those days of my planning, but I always knew that I could count on her if I needed her, and she me. and that is the best sort of friend, the one that you might not see everyday, but when you do, its as though you have never been apart.

Her daughter, was a Theater Arts major at UH Hilo and the last time we talked Karlie was heading for New York with her boyfriend. Big change for the island bred girl with the beautiful blue eyes, Sherry and I look a lot alike dark hair she slim and me large and tall, but close enough in looks to be thought sisters when together... I told Sherry once I wondered how Karlie managed to keep the boys at bay...Her daughter looked like Barbie, perfect fair face...I called her "Pua Nani" or lovely flower when speaking to her mother about her. The answer to that was the the beauty has brains too and has stayed really focused in school, unusual there with a low low graduation rate,and one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancy in the US... and with that sort of determination Karlie will do well, I know.

But she was her mother's life and Sherry an empty nester was wondering about her future and life as we were leaving. I am not sure what her plans were but even she was considering leaving the Islands to get better work once the real estate bubble bursts there which as she said will as it always does.... That thought troubled her, she was so rooted in the culture of Hawaii and truly a part of it as I never could be.

I realized that we had no formal good byes about a month ago and I cried for a bit every day for a week. I wrote the bones of that poem and carried it about in my note book for a long time. I have an email address and need to touch base but havent as I fear for myself and my own homesickness...that I dont speak much of as Woody is sick of it, and there is no help for it. She must feel abandoned, as a number of her friends and her daughter were all leaving at the same time...uggh. I messed up.

I know that I will meet another friend like Sherry one day, I am open to that. The door is wide open for me to return to Hawaii if I need to for a visit, my friend Kathy, also an empty nester has encouraged me lately with that invitation. I fear if I go back now I wont return to the mainland...silly but thats how I feel.

I understand that lostness that Native Hawaiians feel when they leave and cannot return, its an emptiness that I know only God can heal, and only if I do the work I need to do to facilitate that healing. I have a email to write and I will do it today.

July 17, 2005

The Ever Living One

The Face of Compassion, The Christ of the Ozarks Eureka Springs Arkansas

The First Epistle of John Chapter 1


Introit

The One Who existed from the beginning... is the One we have heard and seen. We saw Him with our own eyes and touched him with our own hands. He is Jesus Christ, the Word of life. This one who is life from God was shown to us, and we have seen Him. And now we testify and announce to you that He is the one who is eternal life. He was with the Father, and then He was shown to us. We are telling you about what we ourselves have actually seen and heard, so that you may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.
We are writing these things so that our* joy will be complete.


Living in the Light


This is the message He has given us to announce to you: God is light and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness. We are not living in the truth. But if we are living in the light of God's presence, just as Christ is, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, cleanses us from every sin.
If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that His word has no place in our hearts.

from the New Living Translation

July 16, 2005

To My Hilo Friend

A'wapuhi, or Red Ginger at Rainbow Falls


I have thought of you
so many times
In Hilo town,
walking rain wet streets
My dear friend
than meant so much to me

I shared with you
all my secret dreams
And you did likewise
while we toiled together
in the pearl shop
on the wide Bayfront

There were no words
that I could say
on the day that
broke my heart
We are apart
by miles, waters wide

I feel for you
sensations of abandonment
by friends and memories
people moving on
I feel the pain
of Hawaii lost

Even your daughter,
your pride,the Pua Nani
of your life's lei
Has gone away
to find her own path
as I must mine

You are bound to Hawaii
"Ke Ea OKa Aina
is your life
The blood
of seven generations lies
in volcanic earth

How can you leave
the memories of your ancestors?

July 15, 2005

The Local News

Sleeping sweetly together my adorable little fuzzballs

I found the kitties sleeping with Woody this morning. We are in separate quarters until this move is complete as we two wide bodies dont fit on the full sized beds in this place. Add the furry love bugs and there is no room at all for me. Im sure Woody doesnt miss my snoring if nothing else...

The cats miss him when he is away, pace at night and wake me up at odd times. I actually got a full nights sleep last night which was wonderful.

Woody said that he had a great time in California. The wedding went wonderfully well and his friends are all well happy and interested in our lives and what we are doing. I guess it was a none stop meet and greet seeing people ect...

He chose not to go and see my Mom. I understand, his mother died in this place my Mom is in and it hurts him still.

I wish he had though. I received an email that my Mom is having issues and I am not sure what they are, but hope to find out soon what is going on. Somehow I am still not on the approved list of people to get information. Fighting this right now while my communication system is poor is troublesome. My cel phone isnt working and I have limited use of the phone here in this unit. My own house is two weeks behind, and likely its going to be even longer as there has been a huge snafu and work has nearly stopped. Hopefully the tile will come in and we can get the bathroom done then move in afterwards.

This is just trifles, but like the story of Michaelangelo when asked how he knew what to carve out of the marble, he said "I remove only that which is not what I am carving." I know that God is doing the same in my life. He is removing that which is not what is really me. Sometimes its the big things, he uses a jack hammer, or hammer and chisle. Most often, its the small things that must be removed and the methods are steady deliberate and uncomfortable. Running water, sandpaper, or sandblasting to remove the roughness around the edges... Boy do I need this...

And like a good Father, God is providing all that I need...

July 14, 2005

I Am A Christian

Ozark Summer Skies near Holiday Island AR

I found this peice on the blog Nanny's Rocking Chair, one of a number of new blogs I have added to my blog roll lately

Many times I have said "I am a Christian." These days I prefer to use the term "Believer" as many people in the world think that if you are born in America of course you are a Christian...for my reading that are not Christians, I go on record to profess that I do not think this at all. In fact I think that such thinking is so dangerous as well as insulting to people of other faiths.... Anyway I liked this peice for it sums up a lot of what I believe


WHEN I SAY, "I AM A CHRISTIAN"

When I say, "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting, "I am saved!"
I'm whispering, "I get lost! That's why I chose this way"


When I say, "I am a Christian" I don't speak with human pride
I'm confessing that I stumble-needing God to be my guide


When I say, "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong
I'm professing that I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on


When I say, "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success
I'm admitting that I've failed and cannot ever pay the debt


When I say, "I am a Christian" I don't think I know it all
I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught


When I say, "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are all too visible but God believes I'm worth it


When I say, "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache, which is why I seek His name


When I say, "I am a Christian" I do not wish to judge
I have no authority...I only know I'm loved.

Copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer
Used by Permission

I am just a pilgrim on a journey...arent we all...

July 13, 2005

Am I Going the Wrong Way?

Fork in the road SR62 E to Eureka Springs AR

I found myself Sunday saying that over and over again. I have been back and forth to and around Holiday Island at least a bazillion times.After all we lived there for six weeks and we go every week to get the mail. But I got really lost sunday, Like... "I wasn't in touch with reality" sort of lost... doesnt happen often as I buzz around... But it seems to happen a lot more here in Arkansas.

Maybe its growing up in a place where there are signs clearly marking the roads. Its not confusing to me, driving the LA freeways, just watch for the signs... no confusing route number this, or off ramp number such and so, just take the 405 north to the 605 north to the 105 west get off at Sepulveda your there...( to anyone reading if you know where you are in LA at this point in the directions, comment and you get the prize.) ...the biggest problem in LA are the antique Spanish names for the streets, Hawaii is worse as all street must have Hawaiian names...and you all wonder how my Hawaiian got so good?)The Big Islands saving grace was that it was a island eventually you could keep driving untill you got back to where you started it would take about 12 hours, barring incedents or accidents... or falling down a ravine...

Anyway if you are east of the Rockies you know the problem. They give three different roads the same name... so confusing. And there are no blessed landmarks, Just beautiful green trees, miles of them.

Many a passenger...(back seat driver)has accused me of going the wrong way at times. Like a man, when I am out on the highway, I KNOW where I am, its dangerous to go up to a gas station attendent and ask for directions. He could send you to his place and you could get axed murdered. When I was wandering in missouri a few days ago and I sauntered in and bought the map, the man behind the counter knew what was up and he was cool about it. He would never ask for directions...

Fortunatly I do listen to advice, process it and make informed decisions, that is the feminine side of my navagational process. So when I was driving up to Eureka Springs and later preparing to leave and folks said , get off the mountain by dark, I scooted, there was flash flooding up there that I didnt need to be involved in...

But I do get turned around a lot and its going to take a while I suppose to get used to seeing the trees from the forests

I think thats true of life in general here. Im taking things slow, not rushing into relationships or things like that. I dont want to go the wrong way with people either.

I am delving into new areas regarding my spirtual life as well. I have been a student of European History for much of my life and intertwined into that story is the Catholic Church, both Latin Rite and Eastern Orthodox. I feel that my education is woefully lacking in this area so insted of watching horrible news I am watching EWTN, the Catholic Cable network and I have been gathering up ideas to ponder, titles of books to read, and such. Already using the Shorter Morning and Evening Benedictine Praybook for devotions, I am learning a lot about a more formal sacramental form of Christianity. Interestingly enough I am finding more similarities than contradictions. Yes, there are issues that I dont understand and doctrines I will likely never agree to, but it is a interesting journey for this once neopagan,now Born Again Bible pounding fire baptized Bapticostal...

Woody, my ever loveing backseatdriver is saying little, but sometimes I think hes a little concerned, and when I try to dialougue, he will fling out a talking point that is boound to conflict... "Now what about Mary?" he say... My response to this one was "Mother of God, yes, Co-Redemptrix, no" and drop it. He doesnt get into the front seat and say, hey I want to drive now..., let me be the spiritual leader in our home, which I would support....To me its all about Jesus, the rest is not worth arguing about. Woody dont worry, I havent changed direction just learning about new stuff...

He's in the back seat still, worried that I am going the wrong way...

July 12, 2005

Too Many Choices...

Fresh Fruit Stand near Garfield Arkansas, Below the check out area of the Walmart Super Center in Jane, MO our closest market to our home.


Woody and I are amazed at all of the construction and homes for sale in this area. I am constantly asking...

"Woody, did we pick the right house...? After all we only looked at 250 or so, there are over a thousand in this area in our price range... do you suppose we should have looked at a few more?

As I struggle with my own doubts, I go back to this... There are way too many choices to make about everything.

I started to write this post two weeks ago, and the choices that are before us grow and grow as the moments tic by... I was sitting in the Mc Donald County Wal-mart, getting my eyes checked, and Woody's too. For two people who have significant risks...(Woody, family history of Glaucoma, diabetes and heart desiese, me my Mom had had cataracts in both eyes, with subsequent retinal detachment and cronic eye issues, diabetes, obeseity...me with massive cortosteroid use nearly 10 years ago) we heard the words...

"Lovely, perfect eyes"

"Clean, textbook healthy...Hoku, your vision is improving!, have you considered lasik?"

I had five choices in how I could manage my eyes with glasses, which I wore in Hawaii due to humidity and mold issues...or go back to contacts... I had eight choices to make a correction and skip the glasses which I did and I am back to contacts...I feel it really helps my looks and my vision gets a better correction...

But back to topic.



When we left the mainland this "Super Center" concept was being implemented, Big Box reigns and has for years...The corner hardware store, bakerey and clothing boutique are fading in the face of the mall. and I do think that we all lament that.

I know I do. There are too many choices in every area. One of the things that God has delivered me from is the curse of not being able to make a decision. I know now that this "Choice-a-phobia" is a control issue and the world isnt going to end if you screw up.

Yet, like Bill Newcott in this article humourously called Eenie, Meenie, Miniee NO! he bares his soul and I can totally relate, I post it here...


Eenie, Meenie, Minie … Noooo!
Confessions of a Choice-aphobe


By William Newcott

April 2005


When it comes to life’s hard choices, I freeze up at "paper or plastic?"

So now I’m at the supermarket checkout breaking into a mental sweat. Milk: plastic. Eggs: paper. Frozen lasagna: paper. No, plastic. Box of plastic bags … God help me.

It’s just one example of our many so-called choices that are really not choices at all—but merely selections among many of the same thing. Yet I feel compelled to reason out all the possible permutations.

For instance, I’m convinced that Starbucks has been installing overstuffed furniture to pave the way for on-site psychiatrists who will help work through your deep-seated indecision over whether that venti skim latte extra-hot should come with or without foam. Yes, it’s all coffee. But in fact, the smaller the sliver of difference among the choices, the more agonizing the decision.

How many variations of Coke will they sell you now? I found 11. Staring down the soft drink aisle, I get a kind of horizontal vertigo that only a Coca-Cola light with lemon can relieve. Or is it Caffeine Free Coke II? I’m dizzy again.

Remember when people complained they had 65 cable channels and nothing to watch? Now they’ve got 150 channels and nothing to watch. In 10 more years, someone will tell me, "I’ve got 15,000 channels on my satellite, and all I get is Sea Hunt." And I’ll think, "Well, is that Sea Hunt before Lloyd Bridges started diving with two tanks, or after?"

My friend Meg tells me there are no fewer than seven daytime court shows on TV, ranging from the venerable Judge Judy to Texas’ own Judge Larry Joe Doherty. Now, this may tell us more about Meg than it does about TV, but even she will admit they are all the same show.

Do you want a seat in the front, middle or back of the plane? Will I get there any quicker? Am I watching CSI in Miami, New York or Vegas? Does the dead body care? Is Paris Hilton the smart one, or is it Nicole Richie? And in what universe does that question have an answer?

Wait, wait, I’ve got it. Paper bags inside plastic bags. Whew.


Its true. I have only had TV since we have been on the journey, and I have never had cable, how in the world do you decide what to watch? Which news show? They all report them same thing? Oh that was the post a few days ago...

I remember the first time Woody and I went into the Walmart we shop at. I think we were a media moment. I know we stood there with our mouths open agast at the size and the scope of the store. This wasnt a warehouse store, this was a market that has become a behemouth, with 25 choices of dill pickles in specially designed packaging... Full service everything, and frankly I dont see how any retail business can compeate with this in our area...

I know that this merchendising mania, a cost cutting machine of a store that did more damage to my business in Hawaii than any other brick and mortar store (I really think that my biggest competition was the Internet and QVC)But untill this went in there was no serious grocery store within 10 miles on the Arkansas side, and as far as I can tell, it is the only full service market for a radious of 20 miles. (Dont ask me how I know, I found this out recently and that is another post altogether!)

Like our Wal mart in Hawaii that grossed 200,000 a day, this place has got to be doing 10 times this amount of business, and Im told that its busy 24/7... I know that this is not good for the economy in the long run, but I cant deny how having this low cost place to buy food and clothing (we have worn the clothes that we packed in March pretty much out and they are not sutible for employment. I bought 5 simple outfits suitable for the office in my size (BIG) for 125.00. They may not last long but will be enough till I get unpacked in a few weeks.

I haven't seen designer labels in our Walmart but its comming according to this article from Slate. One of our neighbors saw designer shoes at a store in Wisconson. Watch out world...here it comes...

I think that the statements made in the next article that states that "consumers have too many choices and often dont make the "shopping decision" and dont buy..." are true... Barry Swartz writes in his article "Too Many Choices"

Too Many Choices
From cookies to cell phones, dog food to discount drug cards, are Americans finding that more is less?


By Barry Schwartz

April 2005


About 10 years ago, I went to the Gap to buy a pair of jeans. I tend to wear my jeans until they’re falling apart, so it had been a while since my last purchase. A nice young saleswoman greeted me.

"I want a pair of jeans—32-28," I said.

"Do you want them slim fit, easy fit, relaxed fit, baggy or extra baggy?" she replied. "Do you want them stone-washed, acid-washed or distressed? Do you want them button-fly or zipper-fly? Faded or regular?"

I was stunned. I sputtered out something like, "I just want regular jeans. You know, the kind that used to be the only kind."

The trouble was that there was no such thing as "regular" jeans anymore. Besides, with all these options before me, I was no longer sure that I wanted "regular" jeans. Perhaps the easy fit or the relaxed fit would be more comfortable. So I decided to try them all.

The jeans I ended up with turned out just fine, but what occurred to me on that day is that buying a pair of pants should not be a daylong project.

By creating all these options, the industry undoubtedly had done a favor for customers with varied tastes and body types. However, it had also created a new problem. In the past a buyer like me might have had to settle for an imperfect fit, but at least purchasing jeans was a five-minute affair. Now it had become a complex decision in which I was forced to invest time, energy and no small amount of self-doubt, anxiety and dread over the ordeal.

It’s not just jeans. Eighty-five types of crackers. Two hundred eighty-five types of cookies. Eighty pain relievers. Thousands of mutual funds. Hundreds of cell phones, dozens of calling plans. So many TV shows that people tape the ones they don’t have time to watch—and never have time to watch the ones they tape. Wherever we turn, we face mind-boggling choices.

Choice is an especially burning issue now. The Medicare prescription drug plan passed in 2003 and the current proposal to privatize a portion of Social Security are both initiatives justified, in part, by celebrating the virtues of choice. Instead of imposing a government plan on everyone, let people choose; it’s bound to make everyone better off. Boomers like me embraced this logic, and in the ’60s we demanded freedom of choice in all aspects of our social and cultural lives. In the ’80s, President Reagan extended this thinking as he tried to reduce the role of government in various aspects of our lives, and let the market rather than the state provide for our individual needs.

The fact that some choice is good doesn’t necessarily mean that more choice is better. Too many options can produce paralysis, not liberation.
The upside of having all these choices is obvious: Choice equals freedom, and freedom is among America’s most dearly held values. Economists tell us there can never be too much choice. If you don’t care about variety in cell phones, you can always just ignore it. But if you do care, abundant choice means that you ought to be able to find the phone that is just right for you.

Compelling as this may sound, however, there’s growing evidence that this logic is flawed. For many of us, increased choice means decreased satisfaction. The fact that some choice is good doesn’t necessarily mean that more choice is better. There’s a cost: Too many options can produce paralysis, not liberation. Studies show that:

As a store increases the varieties of jams or chocolates on its shelves, shoppers are more likely to leave without buying either product.
As the number of mutual funds in a 401(k) plan offered to employees goes up, the likelihood that they will choose a fund—any fund—goes down. For every 10 funds added to the list of options, the rate of participation drops 2 percent—even though many employees may be passing up matching money from employers.
Patient satisfaction goes down when the choice of medical treatments goes up—people generally don’t want to make their own decisions. The disconnect between theory—what people think they want—and reality can be illustrated by a study of people who were asked if they would want to choose their own cancer treatment. Some 64 percent of people surveyed said that if they were to get cancer, they would want to choose their own treatment. However, only 12 percent of those who had cancer said the same thing.
Even though choice may enable people to improve their lives by some objective measure—quality of jam or rate of return on investment—it often makes them feel worse. This may help explain why there has been a 75 percent increase in Americans being treated for clinical depression over the last 25 years.

Why does more choice generate these paradoxical effects? For starters, people feel an enormous burden to get enough information to make a good decision. Who has the time to find the best digital camera, the best cell phone plan, the best 401(k), the best health insurance, the best school for the kids?

Even when the choice is relatively simple, getting the right information is not easy. We’re influenced by the way in which options are presented, or "framed." For example, we accept a "discount for paying cash" but reject a "surcharge for using credit cards," even though the two mean the same thing. We might spring for a "bargain" sweater that is marked down from $200 to $100 when normally we would never dream of spending so much for a sweater. We instantly turned against the inheritance tax when it was relabeled as a "death tax," even though most of us will not be leaving enough behind to be affected. Such instances of framing are pervasive, and they become harder to see through as choices become more complex.

The more choices we have, the more we seem to regret the decisions we make. Sheer abundance seems to raise our expectations. So, we wonder, did we get what we want? Could the alternatives have been better?

Those who suffer most are the "maximizers" among us—people whose goal in making decisions is to get "the best." At the opposite end of the scale are "satisficers," who seek only what is good enough. Maximizers must check out all the alternatives in order to feel they got the best. And in a world of 80 pain relievers and thousands of mutual funds, that’s just not possible. So maximizers often make a selection and end up miserable, convinced that if they had looked a little longer, they would have done better.

It is sometimes said that you can’t know how much is enough until you experience too much. Well, we may now be experiencing too much—too much "freedom" and too much choice brought to us by a heady mix of political and cultural ideology and material affluence.

Older people seem to have learned this lesson from life experience. They are less inclined to be maximizers, which may be one reason why they are in general happier than their children and grandchildren. Perhaps with age comes the wisdom of learning that "good enough" is good enough.

There’s another lesson that older people have learned: Limited options can be liberating, and we should value at least some constraints on our freedom of choice instead of rebelling against them. Having to wear a seat belt or never indulging in a second dessert means not having to settle the same issue again and again—and saving the time and energy needed to make intelligent choices when required.

Our children and grandchildren—full of doubt, stressed out and anxious in a world of unprecedented wealth and opportunity—could surely profit from the same lesson.

While it’s true that a life without any freedom of choice would not be worth living, more choice doesn’t necessarily mean greater happiness.

Barry Schwartz, professor of psychology at Swarthmore College,

We had may clients that came into our jewelry store feel the same way. The consumer wants choices but not too many... For me I want the unique, and the big box can rarely supply that.

Once we move into our house likely we wont have TV again. I am looking forward to having one excess means of plying me with chioce eliminated. The Internet, malls, paper catalogs and Big Box stores are enough shopping venues for me.

In the mean time...Im going back to Lowes to make sure I got the right bathroom fixtures... There are only 582 style choices...should take me all the blessed day!

July 11, 2005

The Sentinel

Our temporary home in Metfield


written July 8, 2005 3 am

I have a weeks worth of posts in the draft stage so Id best identify them by writing dates. The dates that my posts "post" on and the times often are irrelevant, unless it is a special occasion. This is good that I have a few backed up as I think I am going to be terribly busy very soon...

Yes it really is 3 am. I went to bed only two hours ago. I couldnt get comfortable...I kept thinking about those poor people in London, and how tramatic that whole this is and well, I am really affected by visual images and so I didnt have the news on much tonight but I saw enough to bother me...

Like with 9-11 I wondered how I would handle a crisis like that. I have been alone during killer earthquakes that wreck your house, but a bomb or a fire... I dont know.

I think a fire would be the worst, or a mudslide, but a fire is always a possibility right? the idea of losing all one posesses and often the victim's life as well. I have nightmares if the room is too stuffy of this horror.

Just as I am thinking about this, the freaking smoke alarm goes off. I kid you not. I must have jumped three feet off that creaky old bed I sleep on here, Scared me to death. I quickly get up and turn a light on and sniff...

I don't smell anything but a faint odor of catbox... I quickly go throught the house mentally thinking... "how difficult would it be to get Mak and Nani into their carriers?" Hard,especially in a hurry or "Did I leave a candle burning?" No... I opened the AC closet which is right next door to the alarm... nothing... cats are curious but not disturbed as they follow me around. I would think that smoke and fire would upset them... Everything is normal. I listen at the door for commotion outside, nothing...unlike the blackout a few nights ago, that brought people out to share a few candles between the units. These places are so poorly set up and maintained... Ah, ...

"Its just the battery." I say out loud to my furry assistants. I happen to have a new one purchased for the garage door opener for the new house. I have already used one here in the rental for the clock radio, so why not just bill them for the whole package. I get a chair and manage to replace the battery. Beeping stops... Pretty good, I'd say... Little woman slams demons and domestic breakdowns without male tech support. Brushing hands together I get down off the chair, put it under the table and off for soothing snack before trying to sleep....

As I am munching, writing down ideas for future blogging, twenty minutes goes by... then like the devil the alarm goes off again.

I disbled it. I would think that if there was a fire it was detecting I could detect it by now, I guess the thing is just malfunctioning. Still the timing is odd.

The cats, who sleep with Woody normally are a bit clingy with me as he's not here are rolling about the floor and looking at me, with the "worrywart!Worrywart!" expression...I know they see the Guardian Sentinel Angels around us and are unafraid.

I need to be as trusting and go to bed its been a long emtional day.

July 10, 2005

Psalm 135- The Greatness of God

Ocean Entry at Dawn HVNP/HVO photo


Psalm 135


Praise the Lord!


Praise the name of the Lord!
Praise him, you who serve the Lord,

you who serve in the house of the Lord,
in the courts of the house of our God.

Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good;
celebrate his wonderful name with music.

For the Lord has chosen Jacob for himself,
Israel for his own special treasure.



I know the greatness of the Lord-
that our Lord is greater than any other god.

The Lord does whatever pleases him
throughout all heaven and earth,
and on the seas and in their depths.

He causes the clouds to rise over the earth.
He sends the lightning with the rain
and releases the wind from his storehouses.

He destroyed the firstborn in each Egyptian home,
both people and animals.

He performed miraculous signs and wonders in Egypt;
Pharaoh and all his people watched.

He struck down great nations
and slaughtered mighty kings-

Sihon king of the Amorites,
Og king of Bashan,
and all the kings of Canaan.

He gave their land as an inheritance,
a special possession to his people Israel.

Your name, O Lord, endures forever;
your fame, O Lord, is known to every generation.

For the Lord will vindicate his people
and have compassion on his servants.



Their idols are merely things of silver and gold,
shaped by human hands.

They cannot talk, though they have mouths,
or see, though they have eyes!

They cannot hear with their ears
or smell with their noses.

And those who make them are just like them,
as are all who trust in them.



O Israel, praise the Lord!
O priests of Aaron, praise the Lord!

O Levites, praise the Lord!
All you who fear the Lord, praise the Lord!

The Lord be praised from Zion,
for he lives here in Jerusalem.


Praise the Lord!

from the New Living Translation

July 09, 2005

Solitary Independence

Woody passing throught the garden gate Crescent Hotel Eureka Springs AR



I put Woody on a plane to California Thursday morning, in the midst of heighthened security due to the bombings in London. He woke up early, excited at the prospect of seeing his childhood gang of friends for the first time in nearly four years, and turned the TV on to the horror. He ran in and woke me, saying " Hoku Hoku, its England's 9-11"

Funny on the day of 9-11, I did the same to him. Woke him after hearing the news on the car raidio as I was leaving for work, ran in to tell him that the world had changed... "we were at war" having been attacked by an unknown enemy...

It was a lovely morning perfect for a drive. Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport is about 45 minutes away, way out in the country but you can see that the city is encroaching with new subdivisions and a Walmart Distribution center smack dab in the middle of some of the most beautiful farmland around. I remember when we first landed here thinking that once these simple beautiful farms are plowed up, and the, let's face it, ugly subdivisions and strip malls are built the landscape will be forever altered.

Misty fields near Cave Springs AR


It was surreal listening to NPR talking about the London blasts in the midst of the peaceful country lanes. I kept thanking God for the fact that the English seem so prepared for this disaster... and wondering if the radicals that supposesidly live in the country out our way decided to blow up NWR airport, how would the State of Arkansas handle things... not too well I think.

I took a long way around route into Rogers then stopped in the IHOP for breakfast. As I sat there in the resturant, enjoying the people watching, I realized how blessed that I am to be able to do this. I know that my Mom loved this sort of thing, having a free day to go and drive, and just be alone. She would have loved the drive that I had just taken and was to continue to take this day. As I ate my delicious breakfast (the stuffed french toast with hot apple topping...yum.) I thanks God that I could even be where I was, and prayed for my Mom as she suffers in that nursing home bed...

Not having someone talking at you all day long gives you room to mentally breathe and room to think, It also allows a bit of serendipity. I drove toward home and got gas, and didnt want to end the morning, so I pressed forward then turned on a state road I thought would take me towards home.

Well, then as I drove I saw another road, smaller yet and wall to wall with wild flowers. I thought "Well I will go straight up take pics and turn around and get back on SR90. I pulled off and got out and took some great pics.


wild flowers near Jane Mo yes that is trash there

After a few minutes I drove on till the road ended and realized "hey I should have turned around" But the road dumped me right on a very busy highway so I assumed that this was I71 and Id get turned around.

Well after a bit I realized that I was north of where I had traveled before and ,"oh there is a town I had heard of I can go and see that." and "oh here is a road maybe it will take me towards the highway...

I have a bunch of maps in the Intrepid, but none in my van, after a bit of driving maybe another 30 miles I saw a large truck stop and stopped to get a map. I found where I was... Southwest City Missouri, 50 miles from home and loving it. I rolled out onto the road, fully incontrol of my berings... I knew where I was going..

Where paradise lay...hay farm near Southwest City MO

I was home in early afternoon where I puttered about and made a few calls. The remodel is comming along and I am trying to get things wrapped up so I can start to move in. I cant wait.

I was called for an interview, but its a commission only retail job that is likely more hours than I want to work. I went today and saw the regional Mgr of a nation wide furniture retail chain... Yes I could make a lot of money but Id never be home and that is where I want to spend most of my time, the best part of my time.

I sit tonight and watch the fireflies, in reletivly good spirits, tired and look forward to a good sleep. Mak and Nani are not happy that Woody is gone but they are pretty calm. they will be fine and so will I in this period of solitary independence.

July 08, 2005

A Grim Reminder

The Union Jack Flies at half staff above the Gleneagle Hotel Scotland, Reuters photo


Good Morning World... there is a war going on.

There are a lot of people in this world that have been saying trash like "Bush and Blair are the greater theat to the human race than the islamists." They've had that lie literally blow up in thier streets. As of this writing nearly 800 casualties and 40 of them fatalities. The worst attack since the Blitz of WWII on London, a horror that seems to have caught the West off guard. Thankfully, there was not panic, and the order, calm and good planning paid off in fewer casualties. Thank God for that.

Its been nearly four years since 9-11 and over a year since Madrid...The poll numbers are falling on the war, both here and abroad, then guess what? Britain has its 9-11, and the words that Mr. Bush was mocked for using, calling the terrorists "evil, wicked, and inhuman" are on the lips of Europe's most liberal leaders... I hope this time they take hold of the idea that pandering to these monsters does only harm and no good.

For those of you that think that the Iraq war is wrong, imagine having this in your neighborhood? I have dear friends that live and work and use the train in London, God knows how they are doing...

Understand...The Iraq war is a magnet that is drawing the terrorists to that part of the world, and keeps the fight away from us. Away from our neighborhoods and homes.Thank God for that and thank God for the brave service men and women that are on the front lines fighting these animals every day.

My only fear is that we are doing in this country what Europe has done over the last 30 years, and that is, allowing the islamic community to breed home grown jihadist. This attack in England was likely carried out by a home grown terrorist. We need to really be vigilant as a people in alerting officials of suspicious activity and our government needs to take seriously the threat of the muslim ghettos that are growing here.

I am so very sorry for those that lost loved ones today. But this is a wake up call that I feared was soon to happen. We are a complacent people and that is exactly that which our enemy uses to gain a foothold, to attack this weakness in our character. We in the West must never forget that radical islam sees us as lessor beings and unworthy of life. We must, as Mr. Blair said, "stay the course and show that our values of freedom and justice will prevail in the face of terror."

We are with you, sir. America stands with you....

July 07, 2005

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

fountain in the Courtyard of the Crescent hotel Eureka Springs Ar

I'm asking all nations not to offer them a safe haven," Beth Holloway Twitty, mother of 18-year-old Nataile Holloway, told a news conference as her voice cracked with emotion and she struggled to hold back tears. "My greatest fear is that they will leave Aruba," she said.

A judge on Monday ordered the release of Surinamese brothers Deepak Kalpoe, 21, and Satish Kalpoe, 18, saying there was not sufficient evidence to continue holding them in the case.


"These criminals are now free to walk among the tourists of Aruba ... While I have not seen my beautiful daughter in 36 days," Holloway Twitty said.

I wasn't going to comment again on this situation but these past few days, the news coverage, the punditry, the absolute nonsense that has been spewing out of the media on both sides has got me going.

Im not going to put Mrs. Twitty's whole statement on here. We have all heard it. WE have all seen it on the 24 hour news. We all feel for the family... I wonder who is advising them, and if they are being paid the Twitty's should get their money back. This statement was horrible and is bound to reduce support from the people of Aruba for working with the family. It shows total ignorance of the law and how things operate there in that country. It impunes the honesty of the judges involved and implies that the persons of interest are tried convicted and sentenced, when they are not.

I think too, as a nation, we have a right to ask questions about a cover up and how the investigation into the disappearance of Nataile Holloway has been handled thus far. Theirs is a closed court system, where our is open, and that lack of information breeds rumor and suspicion. I want to believe that they have done all that they can, but we know that their "system" allowed critical evidence to not be collected. Still it is their country, and they do things their way and I don't think its our place to cram our justice system down the maw of a nation that is "first world", democratic, but a bit more liberal than our own.

but I want to ask a few questions.

First, are we not all tired of this case being tried in the media? I keep looking at the TV and saying "Where is the evidence?" These "Court TV" people think they can convict these persons of interest, and that is all that they are not even suspects under Dutch law, which in many way is more stringent than our law in the US. Imagine being held without charge for over three months? Happens there and in Europe all the time , but against the law here.

So if the two Kalpoe brothers are released for lack of sufficient evidence, are they criminals as Mrs. Holloway Twitty suggests? No... "Criminal" implies a conviction, which since there hasn't been any charges brought, no trial, then no criminal...Right

The same for the Van Der Sloots, father and son, they are not charged, so they are not criminals and should not be painted as such.

I was and am embarrassed for our media and our mindset. Are we not the nation that believes that one is innocent until proven guilty? Are we so closed minded that once the Media thinks that "this is how it happened" that is the way it is and it cannot be changed? I think that Ms. Nataile was taken after being left on the beach too drunk to stand, and that Joran went home and he and dad came to look for her only to find her gone. Where? We don't know? But my theory that she has been kidnapped sold into the sex trade is just as viable, could be that the Van Der Sloots, are involved in her murder...But maybe not.

What if this young man's only crime was being a cad and leaving her alone on the beach? Is that a crime? How about a adult consorting with a minor, that is illegal here in the US but no one talks about that as the perpetrator is a female and the minor is a male....

WE just don't know anything and how there can be such a rush to judgment I don't understand.

I am embarrassed that on national television I have heard commentators call for the Marines to go in, for the FBI to go in (they are there already and have found nothing) saying how stupid everyone is, and yes I think that if the world was CSI Miami maybe we would have gotten the crime solved right in 46 min 30 seconds just like a TV show, thats Hollywood people... get a grip.

The sad fact is that we may never know what happened to this girl.

Put the shoe on the other foot. Suppose that a Aruban girl went missing and an American Boy and his friends were accused in a similar manner, and were freed... Wed all be cheering over this. The fact is we are so ego centric as a people that the hypocrisy of this situation is visible for the world to see. If it fits what we want to see then its great, but if not or if justice is served then well, to hell with you.

I am saying this, we need to shut off Court TV, and all of these pundits and really look at what we know which is very little. Truth be told the evidence is nil. If the Dutch Marines, Equasearch, and a island full of people cant find here maybe she is not there.

would you want your son or husband to go on trial for a lady's disappearance with no evidence other than you were the last one with her? I think not. Paul Van Der Sloot said, " there is no case without a body", and I think that is so. There is very little circumstantial evidence even. Sadly, I think its time for the family to come home and start to face the reality that their girl may never come home...

And we in America may have to accept that.

July 06, 2005

Summertime

Springtime Gazebo the gardens of the Crescent Hotel Eureka Springs Arkansas

"You understand that its very hot and humid there in both Texas and Arkansas?
"The weather is obnoxious, it rains all the time and is horribly hot and humid, to downright nasty... In the winter you will freeze you butt off."

These and many other such comments were made to us as we looked at where we were going to move. I knew that as far as climate was concerned we have always lived in the best places in the nation if not the world for climate, LA or Hawaii.

Hawaii is hot and humid too. It rains everyday and when the sun comes out and hits the wet ground its so hot fog is created. When it rains in Kona or in Puna on the Big Island at mid day after the sun has been out steam rises from the asphalt...so how much worse could it be?

A lot worse. Woody and I were sitting is a resturant in Rodgers, having supper at 7pm and it said on the outside thermometer 99 degrees. The winds were picking up and we had one whopper of a thunder storm later on last night, wasnt the usual morning wake up call you get here, but an attention getting one.

It is said that we are in a drought here I found it hard to believe with the rain and the reletivfe greeness of the place, but Im told we didnt get enough rain this past winter and the thunderstorms dont generate enough water consistantly to make up for the shortfall, learning new things all of the time.

But the pounding heat is new, I thought that after enduring the 38 years of LA's smoggy Santa Anna heat that I could cope. This heat here is so bad at 90 that God help you if you dont have AC or a cooler spot to just sleep in . Gives me headaches just walking in it, and poor Woody is comming home from the car lot so sweaty that the dye on his belts is bleeding off and he tells me that hes drinking two gallons of water and not going to the can, sweating it out. Fortunatly the guys at this place all watch out for each other and have been keeping the big guy inside except for a few ups at mid day... a hat is a must, though I have never been partial to them.

Im sure we will get used to this. It will be interesting as we get into our house and beging to use the outside screened Lanai, The workmen use it to rest in and they say its a lot coller than te rest of the house but for us to be careful and dont leave the cats out there with out water and a sleeping box. In fact I am looking forward to getting my comfy lounger out there and sleeping the summer afternoons out there, to the sounds of the song birds and the squirels.

In the mean time, crank up the AC please!

July 05, 2005

Happy Birthday, Woody

Woody on the "boat dock" on Beaver Lake at War Eagle Caverns, War Eagle Arkansas


Today is Woody's Birthday. Last year I wrote a post about him, that to me sums it all up. I put the link in but I am also going to re-post it here.


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"He was a special little boy..."


So were the words of my late mother in law, Marie Zumault Wood about her son Woody. Born on this day in Colon, Panama in 1949. A late child and the only one of 8 pregnancies to survive infancy...(the prior pregnancy resulted in premature twins, with one,George living for only three months in the hospital. Woody didn't know about this until after his mother's death in 2001) It is a miracle that Woody survived as he was born at appoxomatly 28 weeks and weighed just over 1 pound. In 1949,infants born this early almost never survived and miracle is the only word that describes the story. He spent 6 months in the hospital, being loved and spoilt by his live in mother and a cadre of doctors and nurses that held and cared for him 24/7. He was the most wanted baby in the western hemisphere. My favorite photo of Woody as a toddler was when his father won a golf tournament and took the trophy while carrying Woody in the other arm. They were inseparable. There has never been any question, given all of this, that Woody was a much desired wanted child.

My inlaws were expatriate civil service workers that met and married in 1938 then traveled to Panama to live and work. Woody's aunt Nell and her husband had lived down there several years prior and as the Depression was going on and on and jobs were still scarce, this was a golden opportunity. They lived a life of wealth and prosperity, that these two from very working lower class backgrounds could have only dreamed of in the States. Country Club Dances, and golf dates on Saturdays. Household help...Woody had a nanny until he was brought to the US. No rationing during the war, or even "hardly a thought that the war existed". A sheltered life of priviledge that one can only get with American dollars in a Third World setting

They remained there until 1955 when Woody was ready for school and that brought them back to California and a life that to me sound like it stepped off the TV screen of "Leave it to Beaver". No one I have ever met had a more idyllic childhood than my husband. From little leagues, to Cub Scouts to music and dance and golf lessons, this kid missed nothing and tried everything and excelled at all that he did. I have heard from childhood friends of his that their mom's would bring up Woody as the paragon they should all aspire to be like... As I look at photos of this blonde, sweet faced, somewhat serious, little boy I just wonder...

What happened?

What made the straight A student not finish his education?

What made the accomplished musician, who was playing alternate at the LA Phil. at 16 give it up at 20 and would not touch his oboe again?

What made this aggressive athlete, who was so impressive in Prep basketball that even at 5ft6in he made the team that went on to win a multiple league championship in 1965, stop playing sports, stop caring for his body, so now at 5'8" he weighs nearly 300 lbs?

What made this brilliant kid enlist in the United States Navy at the height of Vietnam, get assigned into the elite Submarine School and do a tour of what was (at least he says was nearly all Navy SEAL drops and ceremonial duty and patrol, no combat, no swift boats up the Mekong) not continue on when offered a full ride to Officers training school? (He really could have opted out completely as he was in college.)

What made this man, who did start his degree in Physical Education, and was a part time parks and recreation director at the local district give up on his major, quit school,(go into the service) then decide that he and kids were not meant to go together so he married two women who wanted families with no intent of having one??? Was this the reason that the 120 (just kidding) girlfriends were not just the right one and you married two divorcees with a passle of problems of their own that you could focus on?

Woody you are 56 today. I love you and hate you at the same time, and I have more questions about you that you cant and wont answer with every passing year that we are together. I want to understand and I want to help. There is a secret locked inside of you that is dying to come out, I pray that you let it out before it kills both of us...

one year later the secret is still in there.

This past year has proven to be one of the most difficult of my life, yet through it all I see daily improvement in Woody. He loves "projecting" or being waist deep in a project that is consuming. This transpacific move to America's center is the biggest project he's ever tackled. He loves it every bit of it... and is much easier to deal with these days. Yet, I know that he is missing out on a lot of what life has to offer...

Happy 56th Woody, and God Bless you...

I will say one thing Woody is thriving in Arkansas, maybe more will be revealed...

July 04, 2005

A Declaration That Changed The World

Domestic Tranquility Beautiful Lake Avalon near our new home Bella Vista AR

This day in 1776 changed the world forever. From this point on people, taking on the role of self governace was to become the driving force of the world community. The freedom to choose ones leaders brought other freedoms, creating a nation that is the greatest most powerful most prosperous nation this world has ever seen...

The men that signed this document were signing their death warrants. They knew this and signed it anyway. Many of them lost everything materially that they posessed, they went on with the struggle. It cost them family, friends, and a way of life, in exchange for a unknown future, they grabbed a hold of the risks with both fists...

The first American Heros.

To be followed by millions more...even today as we strive to pass on the legacy of Mr. Jefferson's grand opus, to people around the world that have never known true freedom, let us pause and read this document and thank God above for giving us the priviledge of living in America...

The Land of the Free

And...The Home of the Brave.


IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America


When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refuted his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred. to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. --And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor

Let us reaffirm that pledge today. Have a great Fourth