August 29, 2006

Remembering Katrina... One Year Later

Our Lady of the Storms, Statue of the Virgin Mary outside of soon to be demolished parish church in the 9th ward New Orleans LA 2005 Getty Images

Homes that once held joy and laughter
Faces we no longer see
All are smeared by this disaster
Torn by Common Tragedy

Invaded Privacies a home ripped open by the Hurricane Waveland MS 2005


Death has come and faith is broken
Love has little courage left
God, we cry in desolation
Hold us as we stand bereft!


A Makeshift city hall and police station Waveland MS 2005

As we stand by one another
Fractured by this common greif
With your grace and love enfold us
Heal in us our disbelief

Slowly rebuilding


Hold us, crippled by this sorrow
Hold us,till the crying clears
Hold us through each failed tomorrow
Through this cavalcade of fears

the remains of a home at ground zero Waveland MS


Here amid this descecration
Amid the wreackage of our lives
Where dispair hangs like a shadow
Hardly any hope survives


Flag Flying proudly over ruined Waveland MS



All our wealth, our wordly riches
Cannot stem this sense of pain
So, confronted by this horror
Give us grace to build again.

Calm after the Storm Evening Skies over the Gulf of Mexico

August 27, 2006

Psalm 29 The Lord Reigns

Rollers comming in. Southern Swell breaks on Punalu'u Black Sand Beach

Psalm 29

A psalm of David.

Give honor to the Lord, you angels;
give honor to the Lord for his glory and strength.

Give honor to the Lord for the glory of his name.
Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.

The voice of the Lord echoes above the sea.
The God of glory thunders.
The Lord thunders over the mighty sea.

The voice of the Lord is powerful;
the voice of the Lord is full of majesty.

The voice of the Lord splits the mighty cedars;
the Lord shatters the cedars of Lebanon.

He makes Lebanon's mountains skip like a calf
and Mount Hermon* to leap like a young bull.

The voice of the Lord strikes with lightning bolts.

The voice of the Lord makes the desert quake;
the Lord shakes the desert of Kadesh.

The voice of the Lord twists mighty oaks*
and strips the forests bare.
In his Temple everyone shouts, "Glory!"



The Lord rules over the floodwaters.
The Lord reigns as king forever.

The Lord gives his people strength.
The Lord blesses them with peace.

August 23, 2006

The Week of Restoring Myself

Peaceful Pond Bella Vista Highlands Gold Course

post started Aug 8 2006

I made a decision to take the week off from overtime. This has not been easy to do there is immense peer pressure to stay as long as you passively stand it and work till you drop. My employers keep adding little chores for me to do in addition to my daily work... The words " this will only take a few minutes" have become a sort of joke...Made popular by yours truly, who had the audacity to say " Look I am running out of minutes here... There aren't enough minutes in my day to do all of this stuff..." I am Dilbert without a tie...

I had a good reason to take this time out. This past week was our church's first Vacation Bible School. There were kids there from 2 to 92 and each and every age has a class to go to. Pastor David had charge of us "adults" and every night was like a mini retreat. I found myself begining to relax in the evenings, and my focus less and less on my job.

In other words, I am slowly restoring myself...my life...

August 23

Two weeks later, I pick up this post and am pleased to report that I have been able to continue, get into work on time and leave on time. Changes in the team have seen more work taken off of me and I have been able to focus and do an overall better job.

But we havent made the grade. We are close, but that may not be enough. The morale is at an alltime low. Last saturday, I worked for the whole team and I saw that I wasnt the only person that was overwelmed, I found myself becomming angry and resentful that I have been flogged verbally to get to a certain level and others have not. The issues that I saw would have been enough to bring our performance down to the level that would cause us to loose the account.

Woody is still plugging away at the job search. He has had some dissapointment but is remaining undaunted. He has had some interesting opportunities. Our growing community is nearly ready to enjoy the grand opening of a very lard upper end indoor mall and shopping complex. Several national jewelry chains are going in there and need quality talent to work in the stores, Woody interviewed for several of them and that looks very promising. Also he was contacted by a contact that now workd for the new Toyota dealership in town and he interviewed there yesterday. I feel like he is going to get something soon and praised his dilligence on this unemployment go round.

I take my walk and I think about what I want to do with my life. I feel like I want to get to a place where I can do what I want to do. I am praying all of the time and hopw to know soon what way I should go

August 19, 2006

1 Corinthians 12 We Are One Body

Hilo United Community Church, one of the most unique church buildings I have ever seen...

1 Corinthians 12

Now about spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be ignorant.

You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols.

Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit.

There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.

There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.

To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit,

to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit,

to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,* and to still another the interpretation of tongues.*

All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.

For we were all baptized by* one Spirit into one body–whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free–and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many.

If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.

And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.

If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?

But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.

If they were all one part, where would the body be?

As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don't need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don't need you!”

On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,

and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,

while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it,

so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.

If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues.

Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles?

Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues*? Do all interpret?

But eagerly desire* the greater gifts.

August 16, 2006

Peaches to Winnipeg

apple orchard near Bentonville...

bossman and Big Bossman are talking at bossmans cube next to mine....

"Yes the peach packing has begun in Kingsford, CA..." "No, canned, can you imagine what it takes to truck fresh ripe peaches from CA to Wisconson?"...

..."Yes, I can..." I say softly to myself as the thought of peaches and truckdrivers brings a memory to the surface long forgotten...

The year is 1973...the Vietnam War is winding down, at home the Oil Embargo follows fuel price regulation that allowed for deregulation of the transportation industry...I knew a little about this but then I was an overly thoughtful 11 year old that read the papers, and thought that I knew what was going on in the world.

My passions at the time were intertwined with the life of my best friend, her horse, and her father's occupation, he was an independent gypsy trucker...one of the last of a dying breed. His life seemed hard but he was paid go go places and see things that I had only dreamed of...

That year, TV glorified the Gypsy trucker on the small screen by running the short lived but critically acclaimed Show "Movin'On". The brain child of star Claude Akins and based on a song by Merle Haggard, it depicted the life lifelong driver Sonny and his shotgun, former law student Will...In typical fashion, Sonny and Will drove their way throught the trials of trucking life, always seeming to come out on top every week.

One night when all of my family was gathered around the TV, a rare occurance at our house and a tribute to the appeal of the show, we were all watching "Movin' On". My parents had mixed feelings about my relationship with my friend and my desire to take on the trucker's life, but they really liked the show...

That night Sonny and Will were trying to pick up a load out of Atlanta and are sitting in a terminal watching drivers for big companies, driver who lease their tractors and basically work for someone else getting work and they are well...starving. It turns out that the owner of the place is an old friend who turns Sonny on to his customer, a large fruit grower in the area...

Will and Sonny meet with the Grower who says that he has to go with the big guys because the independents are not reliable, the equipment is not maintained and frankly, consistancsy is the name of the game... but he has a contract to award, the peach crop is ripening and he has a customer in Winnipeg, Canada that he is contracted to supply. This is a lucrative lane and Sonny tries to convince the man that he can do it... Having consistant work will mean regular maintanace on the tractor, payments on credit lines for fuel and a real life for the guys... The Grower feels he needs proof that they are as good as the "Big Carriers" So he sets up a race between a team of drivers from the Big Carrier, and Sonny and Will. The first team to get the load of ripe peaches in good condition to Winnipeg will get the contract.

Will and Sonny borrow money against the tractor to pay for fuel, last minute repairs and to lease a refrigerated trailer. There was no money to pay for insurance on the load. Any spoilage would be considered their fault because the refrigerated trailer is their responsibility to have regulated and maintained, and insurance is usually taken out by firms to cover loss. Gypsies often cannot afford such coverage.

They get loaded and the race is on. the summer heat is stifling, and there is fear on both teams of spoilage. Will and Sonny realize quickly that their fuel bill is climbing with every mile. Every dime goes into the fuel tank, and they dont eat. Every mile is frought with difficulty...

Will wants to open the reefer and check it, Sonny is concerned that precious cool air will escape and the hot humid air that would get into the reefer would hasten the demise of the delicate fresh peaches

They arrive on time in Canada, a four day run, and ahead of Big Trucker by just a few minuntes... The owner of the firm is there, waiting, The temperature of both reefers are checked and ok'd...The seals are broken and the doors are swung open...

I was on the edge of my chair...

The owner reaches into the the box of Big Trucker's team and takes out a peach cool and perfect...then he walks to the back of Sonnny and Will's trailer and opens a box... and take out a peach..

It falls apart in his hand as he holds it... Rotten and warm... The reefer's temperature guage was malfunctioning, the reefer was not at the right temperature. The entire load is ruined.

The men are stunned. Every cent they have is invested in this load, and its gone. No one will buy this fruit. Its fit only for the trash, and they own every rotten peach...

Sonny is in debt now. Will is angry and done with the trucking life, he blames Sonny for their perdiciment and leaves to go to work in town and later back to law school...Sonny goes to work for the company that got the contract, and the next season he gets an Afican American partner...and the ax after only a few episodes...

My father, as the credits of this season closing show roll by says..."did you see that, is that how you want to live your life? Hand to mouth, at the mercy of people who dont give a damn about you?"....

I never forgot this lesson so well taught. It was to come home to me more profoundly as my friends father was forced to give up the road, due to costs... He died a few years later embittered and broken...

Me?.Insted of crawling into a cab of a Semi, I sit at a desk and ponder the price of sucess....

One of my carriers has fears of losing the lucretive contract with our customer that amounts to 50 percent of his business. We commiserated over the difficulties and trials of dealing with this account and then in a soft voice he spoke of the devestation losing the account will cause his firm. I assured him he was doing a good job...

A good job may not be enough... Bossman, in a rather sudden event was fired after 13 years of service...Big Bossman has been removed and given a new position in our firm...and two people at my level were fired, who knows why, I thought that they were doing a good job...What do I know is that they had their whole futures tied to this new account

My five year old firm negotiated this miracle contract and they are facing the wall. If they cant get service up to 98% we are done. I have done all that I can do, I can only pray

I can also remember as I continue to work on my home based business, to take care, not mortgage the heck out of my home to finance the business and listen to advice and imput as I go along. I dont want to buy the "whole load of Peaches"... but I dont want to give up my dreams either. May God protect us from risk taking out of desparation. We nearly bought the whole load in Hawaii, and God delivered us. This time I am not so sure the show will have such a happy ending.

August 13, 2006

Job 5 The Love of the Father

Lake Avalon Bella Vista Ar

Job 5

"You may cry for help, but no one listens. You may turn to the angels,* but they give you no help. 2 Surely resentment destroys the fool, and jealousy kills the simple. 3 From my experience, I know that fools who turn from God may be successful for the moment, but then comes sudden disaster. 4 Their children are abandoned far from help, with no one to defend them. 5 Their harvests are stolen, and their wealth satisfies the thirst of many others, not themselves! 6 But evil does not spring from the soil, and trouble does not sprout from the earth. 7 People are born for trouble as predictably as sparks fly upward from a fire.
8 "My advice to you is this: Go to God and present your case to him. 9 For he does great works too marvelous to understand. He performs miracles without number. 10 He gives rain for the earth. He sends water for the fields. 11 He gives prosperity to the poor and humble, and he takes sufferers to safety. 12 He frustrates the plans of the crafty, so their efforts will not succeed. 13 He catches those who think they are wise in their own cleverness, so that their cunning schemes are thwarted. 14 They grope in the daylight as though they were blind; they see no better in the daytime than at night. 15 He rescues the poor from the cutting words of the strong. He saves them from the clutches of the powerful. 16 And so at last the poor have hope, and the fangs of the wicked are broken.
17 "But consider the joy of those corrected by God! Do not despise the chastening of the Almighty when you sin. 18 For though he wounds, he also bandages. He strikes, but his hands also heal. 19 He will rescue you again and again so that no evil can touch you. 20 He will save you from death in time of famine, from the power of the sword in time of war. 21 You will be safe from slander and will have no fear of destruction when it comes. 22 You will laugh at destruction and famine; wild animals will not terrify you. 23 You will be at peace with the stones of the field, and its wild animals will be at peace with you. 24 You will know that your home is kept safe. When you visit your pastures, nothing will be missing. 25 Your children will be many; your descendants will be as plentiful as grass! 26 You will live to a good old age. You will not be harvested until the proper time!
27 "We have found from experience that all this is true. Listen to my counsel, and apply it to yourself."

August 07, 2006

Working Out Our Dreams

The Long Drive The Greens of Tanyard Creek Bella Vista AR


Dream

Woody- "I just want a job I can go to and work and get paid enough to support us for as long as we need that...I cant see myself retiring really... sort of funny that...I dont feel 57, In my minds eye I am still 25..."

Hokule'a-"I dont want to be consumed by a job...I want to make something...create something...Im really weary of pushing buttons and that sort of thing...or help people, Get out of myself...."

Dream

Woody-"I wake up thinking I have been out on the golf course with my friends in California...I am sad when I realize that I am not there..."

Hokulea- "I dream of Hawaii, in my sleep in my day dreams too. I wonder how long it took the Children of Israel to forget Egypt..."

Working out our dreams... Woody and I dont have deep conversations very often. He will tell you that he is as deep as a mud puddle and about as murky. I feel that I am a touch deeper than that...and sadly miss a soul mate to share that with...

As I struggle through the endless days at "thisplace", I find myself growing more and more... detached from the reality of it. Only when it gets really bad, like my job was threatened by a upper management person over an issue that she was mistaken on, do I respond. I take my walks, I work in silence, I walk out and say nothing. Bossman called me the Silent Warrior this week. My workload has doubled and no one seems to notice...

I find myslf struggling with a physical condition that I have not had since 1998, that I call "the Gumby syndrome" I feel like Gumby, wobbly legged and floppy, falling asleep at every chance. It was decided that a seritonan imbalance caused by fatige and steriod use caused it and I went a very mild anti depressant and nopraxion sodium and was well in a week. That may not be the issue here but if it continues I will seek out medical advise. In the mean time its early to bed and eating very right to try to sleep and feed my way out of it. I have also declared a no overtime week this week as we have events at church all this week at night that I want to go to... The money isnt critical to our bills, in fact...

The money goes into the bank twords a future dream I am still defining. We were looking at building a separate building to house a repair business, but we keep wondering, a can I really do it and be if I cant what would we do with a 12x20 building? turn it into a guest cottage or better still develope my second idea, cat boarding...

We had also wanted to enclose the screened Lanai with windows so that we could enjoy this part of the house all year long. The price is similar to the outbuilding, so we have decided to go with the refirbishment of the Lanai, and once compleated install a bench in here. I will have to be very careful with soldering torch gas, and the chemicals that are used in Jewelers work, as our cats seem to like the smell of cleaning agents (we are super careful to keep it all locked up)

While working on this dream another dream may be in the offing. I wasnt going to say anything much about it but by the time most of you will have read this I may know. An opportunity may have come along for me to enter full time work with our church. I auditioned for the position, it was more like that than an interview, and will know in a few more days, how things turned out. I was one of twelve people interested and one of five that made the cut for the audition. There are major pluses and minuses to this, one being a nearly 50 percent cut in pay to a wage that would not be liveable should I be on my own.A plus is that I would have a wonderful but exacting boss in our Pastor and its just one mile from home... Woody and I are excited about the possibility but still praying it through...

Woody had a great interview with a forklift firm in nearby Springdale. Good pay and would be very close to "thisplace" so we could carpool. Having him drive would be a big plus to me as I could never stay later than he would allow (heh heh heh) and he would drive saving me the aggravation and danger as well of dropping off at the wheel. Woody liked the people very much and we are keeping our fingers crossed about it.

In this process of working out our dreams...defining what it is we want to do for the next year to five years is frought with pleasure and anxiety. We pray we hope we look at possibilities, knowing that as Pastor said to me " No matter what you choose to do, God will bless it and make it holy for if it is done in His Name, its a sanctified work for Him..."

8-9-2006 I was interviewed before the Hiring Committee at the church, one of two finalists for the job....and the other lady was the better candidate. I was glad to have gotten as far as I did, glad to learn more about the processes and inner workings of our church. Both Woody and I were a little sad but glad that all has worked out happily, in my mind. I dont want to be anywhere God doesnt want me to be and lookforward to the next step in the working out of our dreams....

August 06, 2006

Matthew 24 Signs of the End Times

Heliconia...a member of the banana family taken at the Polynesian Cultural Center Laie Oahu Hawaii..

Matthew 24


Jesus Foretells the Future


As Jesus was leaving the Temple grounds, his disciples pointed out to him the various Temple buildings. 2 But he told them, "Do you see all these buildings? I assure you, they will be so completely demolished that not one stone will be left on top of another!"
3 Later, Jesus sat on the slopes of the Mount of Olives. His disciples came to him privately and asked, "When will all this take place? And will there be any sign ahead of time to signal your return and the end of the world*?"
4 Jesus told them, "Don't let anyone mislead you. 5 For many will come in my name, saying, `I am the Messiah.' They will lead many astray. 6 And wars will break out near and far, but don't panic. Yes, these things must come, but the end won't follow immediately. 7 The nations and kingdoms will proclaim war against each other, and there will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world. 8 But all this will be only the beginning of the horrors to come.
9 "Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because of your allegiance to me. 10 And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. 11 And many false prophets will appear and will lead many people astray. 12 Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. 13 But those who endure to the end will be saved. 14 And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then, finally, the end will come.
15 "The time will come when you will see what Daniel the prophet spoke about: the sacrilegious object that causes desecration* standing in the Holy Place"-reader, pay attention! 16 "Then those in Judea must flee to the hills. 17 A person outside the house* must not go inside to pack. 18 A person in the field must not return even to get a coat. 19 How terrible it will be for pregnant women and for mothers nursing their babies in those days. 20 And pray that your flight will not be in winter or on the Sabbath. 21 For that will be a time of greater horror than anything the world has ever seen or will ever see again. 22 In fact, unless that time of calamity is shortened, the entire human race will be destroyed. But it will be shortened for the sake of God's chosen ones.
23 "Then if anyone tells you, `Look, here is the Messiah,' or `There he is,' don't pay any attention. 24 For false messiahs and false prophets will rise up and perform great miraculous signs and wonders so as to deceive, if possible, even God's chosen ones. 25 See, I have warned you.
26 "So if someone tells you, `Look, the Messiah is out in the desert,' don't bother to go and look. Or, `Look, he is hiding here,' don't believe it! 27 For as the lightning lights up the entire sky, so it will be when the Son of Man comes. 28 Just as the gathering of vultures shows there is a carcass nearby, so these signs indicate that the end is near.*
29 "Immediately after those horrible days end,


the sun will be darkened,
the moon will not give light,
the stars will fall from the sky,
and the powers of heaven will be shaken.*


30 And then at last, the sign of the coming of the Son of Man will appear in the heavens, and there will be deep mourning among all the nations of the earth. And they will see the Son of Man arrive on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.* 31 And he will send forth his angels with the sound of a mighty trumpet blast, and they will gather together his chosen ones from the farthest ends of the earth and heaven.
32 "Now learn a lesson from the fig tree. When its buds become tender and its leaves begin to sprout, you know without being told that summer is near. 33 Just so, when you see the events I've described beginning to happen, you can know his return is very near, right at the door. 34 I assure you, this generation* will not pass from the scene before all these things take place. 35 Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will remain forever.
36 "However, no one knows the day or the hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself.* Only the Father knows.
37 "When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah's day. 38 In those days before the Flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. 39 People didn't realize what was going to happen until the Flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.
40 "Two men will be working together in the field; one will be taken, the other left. 41 Two women will be grinding flour at the mill; one will be taken, the other left. 42 So be prepared, because you don't know what day your Lord is coming.
43 "Know this: A homeowner who knew exactly when a burglar was coming would stay alert and not permit the house to be broken into. 44 You also must be ready all the time. For the Son of Man will come when least expected.
45 "Who is a faithful, sensible servant, to whom the master can give the responsibility of managing his household and feeding his family? 46 If the master returns and finds that the servant has done a good job, there will be a reward. 47 I assure you, the master will put that servant in charge of all he owns. 48 But if the servant is evil and thinks, `My master won't be back for a while,' 49 and begins oppressing the other servants, partying, and getting drunk-50 well, the master will return unannounced and unexpected. 51 He will tear the servant apart and banish him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

From the New Living Translation

August 03, 2006

Images of the Familiar

beautiful Hilo Bay from the north curve. I still dream about about Hilo and this beautiful bay...


my seatmate at thisplace answers our bossman about new loads he has on his desk that he is trying to get carriers to pick up. The litany of names startles me into a new reality...of the past

We have loads out of Lathop CA for the following destinations

Whittier CA,
Santa Fe Springs CA,
Long Beach CA,
Terminal Island Ca,
4 for the plant in Los Angeles...,
14 for Fontana to be transloaded for shipment...

By then I am gone...lost in images of the familiar...

Something I noticed early on as we settled in on the Big Island was the total absence of anything visually familiar. The streets and intersections all look the same and except for the fact that this was an island and there was one road in and out you could hardly get lost.

It was on a moonless night, New Years Eve, as Woody and I drove home from Hilo to our house in Pahoa, when I realized that I didnt know where I was... oh, I knew I was in Hawaii and going home, but there was this incredible disorientation, and the profound sense that I was detached from a reality that I spent building for 38 years.

I have moments like that here. The area that we live in during the summer becomes shrouded in deeply leafy green anonymity.I drive into the village and sometimes I feel like I am moving in a dream.

The dream extends to my home, where I am surrounded by both the strange and the familiar, with new belongings and treasures from my past. I feel more at home here in this house with my new, kind, neighbors, than I ever felt in Hawaii, in the hostlity of racially divided Pahoa, and an enviroment that I never understood.

As my mind wanders as those names are recited, I see in my mind's eye, Whittier's Old Town, and the redeveloped oil fields in Santa Fe Springs, wastelands that grew into new business developments and public parks... Places that I have walked and worked. Long Beach, my back yard, and Los Angeles, the the city on the horizion that fed my dreams...Freeways and byways, East LA, and coastline that went on for miles...
Freeways and streets with familiar resturants, (Oh, for an In and Out burger)Shopping Malls and landmarks that were a part of my personal landscape.

The truth is as much as I liked the good things about California, these places are no longer the way I remember them. Truth is home is where you are... and where you make it. I know that time will help me to feel less and less disorented. And as I spend time in and among the landmarks of a new and beautiful landscape, they will become more and more a part of my personal landscape..then and only then will I truly be at home....