March 31, 2007

The Fullness Of Spring

Snowdrifts of Dogwood our back garden in the fullness of Spring!

It was a stunningly beautiful day here in the Ozarks. Dogwood trees in full bloom are like brilliant drifting clouds in the forest. Light filters though passing clouds and brilliant new green leaves giving the place a feel of otherworldliness I feel but have a hard time describing... Birds sing, critters like the squirrels and chipmonks are full of themselves as they run about the new grass. A beautiful Kestrel flew into our yard scattering the rodentia, was one of the prettiest birds I have seen come into our garden...

I have spent much of the day on my lounger in our sunroom windows wide and taking in the beautiful scene. I did get out in it to take a few photos and hang a feeder for the furry creatures. Tomorrow is going to be just as nice and after church we will be going door to door handing out fliers inviting people to come to our sunrise service, that will be held at the Metfield Clubhouse next sunday. Im so looking forward to that. I am also looking forward to being out in the sun, walking...

My walks at work have been so nice that I take more and more time from my desk. I realized that I was gone nearly a half an hour yesterday and thought.."Hoku...dearest you are going to get written up..." but my boss may not even notice that I am gone... In fact I am sure that half of the time he doesnt and he trusts me to not abuse the priviledge. There is always something to look at upclose or to ponder. The fields of wild violets pale lavender and white cover every grassy knoll. I know its a weed but its lovely to behold.

Speaking of work...I am still not assigned to a "team" but on the "Talent Pool" and spending time filling in for those that are on vacation, or leaving and we havent gotten a replacement for someone that left the group. I am loving this sort of thing. Doing work that I am familiar with yet is new and a bit challenging. I dont know how long this can continue. In between the vacation fill in assignments I just do housekeeping tasks for my old group, and listen to my Ipod. Bible teaching (I take notes too if I feel lead, and keep a little notebook on my desk for such notes )Its ideal and pray it continues indefinatly.

Woody is not doin very well at the carlot...The truth is that he has never done well at the carlot. I cant understand why he persists at this line of work. I finally had a discussion with him about this lack of productivity. With the hours that he puts in, hes in the red much of the time and so if he finds himelf short he borrows against the margin of his brokerage account. Not wise at this time in his life. A fall in the markets could lower his value and trigger a margin call, effectively stealing a chunk of his retirement savings. It bothers me, first because I feel like he could do something else if he tried and second I feel like he doesnt care about the future. He actually said that he expects me to work full time, support us through his retirement and then when hes dead and Im old...oh well... I think not, so I am opening a IRA and putting the max in and what ever is left after saving and bill paying. We'll have that...

I worry about getting old and being alone and penniless. I mentioned this to my friend Sandy. Sandy was the lady that I roomed with at the retreat a few weeks ago. She too has this same concern. She has visions of all the things that she wants to do but then she figures that she will have a place to sleep and a crust of bread, maybe enough crust to share some with someone but not much else...I cant see even that at this point.

And so I will likely put all other dreams aside and keep working at the Place, putting money aside. This is the time in my life when I need to think about that, while I can still work and earn a fair living. I keep having visions of my mother and the poverty she lived in. I dont want that for myself if I can help it.

There is this, the fullness of the Spring. I am very happy to be here in the midst of it. Glad to be well.Glad to be feeling somewhat ok about life, and glad that God has been so good to me. I need to trust Him and not worry so much and know that just as He provides for this earth, He will provide for me

Labels: Faith, flowers, Scenic Arkansas, Woody, working