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My Wide Blue Seas

Its All About The Journey



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Name~ Hokule'a Kealoha

Short Bio~Hokule'a Kealoha is the Nom De Plume of a writer that formerly lived in Hawaii and is now living a life of adventure on the highways and byways of the American South . I am a Born Again follower of Jesus, as well as a wife, mother of cats and dogs,jeweler, entreprenuer, photographer and pilgrim...

Age~ Old enough to know better

Status~ Newly Single after 13 years of marriage,fur mom to the loving and devoted mini ShihTzu doggie Annabelle, born 6-11-2007 RIP 2-25-09, and the beautiful Abigail born 2-14-09

Hair Color~ natural brown/grey

Mood~ I ALWAYS have a mood, try me...

Loving~ Jesus, Hawaii, my furry friend, Abigail, my Pen Pals, Jewelry ,Blogging ,Writing anything,my Ipod,and being outdoors surrounded by my wonderful natural surroundings

Hating~ Boom Box Cars, Earspray, Abuse of Power,

Reading~
  • Bible


  • Magnificat


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  • Underwired! Louisville's magazine for Women


  • In Store~The Magazine for the American Jeweler



  • Books in Progress...
  • CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH


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  • Just Finished Reading

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  • Jesus, Divine Mercy ~
    Learn About The Divine Mercy
    I Trust In You~

    My Favorite Past Posts~Relive The Journey!~
    2009~
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  • 2008~
  • Be Thankful


  • Colateral Damage


  • Make Lemonade


  • Home Is Where The Heart Is


  • The Poor With Us


  • Because Its The Hardest Thing I Can Do


  • We Have All Become Victims


  • Lest I Forget


  • The Most Important Words


  • Family Values


  • Familiar Places


  • May Perpetual Light Shine On Them


  • A City In Motion


  • 2007~
  • The Quiet Storm


  • Fellowship of the Cane


  • Like Dead Unremembered: A 9-11 Tribute


  • The Medicine Machine


  • One Giant Leap


  • In The Steps of St. Francis


  • Too Much Information


  • The Un Choice


  • 2006~
  • The Holly and the Ivy


  • The First 9-11, Dec 7,1941


  • Small Moments of Silence


  • Peaches to Winnipeg


  • Dreaming of Hawaii


  • Memorial Day


  • Scattered Values


  • The White Line is the Lifeline for the Nation


  • Warnings of a New Civil War


  • I Will Be True To The Promise I Have Made


  • The Snowy Bloody Day


  • Cats in the Cradle


  • 2005~
  • The Journey


  • Rebirth of a City


  • For Posterity's Sake


  • The New Civil War


  • Every Mother's Son


  • And There You Stayed, Temporarily Lost at Sea


  • The Lone Rider


  • The Bible Is Not the Fourth Member of the Trinity


  • Rome Wasn't Built With Union Labor


  • Happy Birthday Mom ~revised~


  • A Beautiful Noise


  • Even Now


  • The Wearing of the Red


  • Night Ranger


  • The Joyful Traveler


  • Hoiliili "To Gather Up"


  • Ke Makakilo (My Observations)


  • He Giveth Sleep


  • Save The Children


  • 2004~
  • Lux Aeterna


  • December 2004


  • You're Joking, Right?


  • Ground Zero


  • I Am Not A Failure


  • O,To Grace, How Great A Debtor


  • Lost In Translation


  • One Small Step for Man


  • The Rainbow's End


  • Profanity


  • Taps


  • The Journey


  • Makoa's Song


  • No Aloha For The Weakest


  • The Paradoxical Comandments


  • The Time Is Now


  • 2003~
  • When No Fruit Is On The Vine



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    St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
    St. Edith Stein~Pray for Us

    Religion Link List~

  • My Secret is Mine


  • Ignatius Insight-Online Magazine


  • Fr John Corapi SOLT


  • Dr. Scott Hahn St Paul Center


  • Fr. Mitch Pacwa~ Ignatius Productions


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  • Political Link List~
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  • Arkansas Link List~
  • Little Portion Hermitage


  • John Michael Talbot website


  • John Michael Talbot Myspace page


  • 1st United Methodist Church Bella Vista


  • Northwest Arkansas Guide



  • Mimi's Cafe


  • Metro Woman Business Directory of NW Arkansas


  • River Grille


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  • Interactive Links~

    Live WebCam Feed from the Mauna Lani Resort, Kohalla, Big Island of Hawaii


    Click here for Aloha Joe!Live Hawaiian Music 24/7

    St Damein of Molokai'i,Patron Saint of Hawaii, Pray for us

    St. Damien of Molokai'i, Patron of Hawaii and the Outcasts among us, pray for us....

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    Hawaii Links~ ~
  • For more Hawaii links Click Here


  • Volcano Updates (Pele's Mood Meter)Hawaii Volcano Observatory

  • Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

  • Volcano Watch Archives

  • Mauna Kea Observatory

  • Pacific Tsunami Museum

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  • Technorotica for Blogging~





    Blogarama - The Blog Directory

    Listed on BlogShares


    Christianity Blog Directory


  • Who Links Here...Click here to see who's linking to this site. Powered by WhoLinksToMe.com

  • Globe of Blogs~Blog search engine

  • The Blog Search Engine

  • stock xchng

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  • BlogSkins

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  • Wikipedia



  • Nuzio's Place on the Web


  • Commutefaster.com


  • PING ME!


  • MWBS Wordpress Edition


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  • Technorotica for Jewelers, and the Jewelry Trade~

  • Gemological Institute of America


  • The Drouhard National Jewelers School


  • The Conner School



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  • May 14, 2007

    Diverging Paths



    Woody on the "boat dock" on Beaver Lake at War Eagle Caverns, War Eagle Arkansas

    It was like a nightmare revisited, old nightmare and new nightmare merging

    Old nightmare...go back in time to September 14,1988, I was sitting in the Claim Jumper Restaurant with my first husband, the Engineer. This was a place where we came to celebrate significant events After a five month reprieve, and a seeming reconnecting after two years of disconnect, I was thinking that we were celebrating the rebirth of our marriage. After all I had done everything I had been asked to do. How shocked I was to hear these words, "Hoku, Im sorry but I am leaving for a while, I am going to go and stay with friends and get my headtogether...maybe away from you I can think clearly. Then I will come back and it will be ok, you'll see. I sat there, with cake in my mouth and stared at him..."Things were coming together, and I had a job and wasnt the least bit of bother. Didnt I mean anything to him anymore?..." I didnt make a scene, or say anything. I picked up the to go box and went to the car. He drove me home and unceremoniously dumped me off at the curb...I walked into the dark house, petted my tiger kitty, known as the Creature, went into the bedroom and lay face down on the bed and prayed to the gods to cause a huge aftershock to shake the broken bits of my house... the broken bits of my life... and crush the remaining flicker of life out of it, cause I couldnt take it any more....


    The Engineer lied of course, He only came back to demand money from me and to beat me up once. He continued down the path to perdition, while I found God and moved into a life I only dreamed of....

    Fast forward to 2007 at a slightly less fancy place, on Mother's Day, a day fraught with perils for my emotions every year. My relation ship with my Mother was fragile at best, add to this the reminder that not only do I have the memory of a dead baby in my deepest heart, but I am bombarded but the reality that Woody refused to have a family and here I am barren and childless.

    New nightmare...Woody says...Gee I have been wanting to talk to you about this but I didnt know how to go about it. I have been watching the fares on the Internet, but my car is ready to go on a driving trip, I am going to California for a while... to see my friends and get my head clear. You know I didnt get that job and I really dont know what I am going to do.

    I wipe my mouth, and ask him calmly " are you coming back?"
    "Well, of course I am, I think so..."
    "Well" I say " I know about the new bank account and the work that you have had done on the car I have been waiting for you to say something...." Woody squirms on the seat. " Do you think its fair? You are leaving me with house project in the air a new position with my job and you not working. For heaven's sakes we just got back from Charleston!"

    "Im going" Woody says
    "You are running away. Why cant you stand on your own two feet?" I say. Because for some reason known only to God, I cant fathom it...


    The day wears on and I realize that he really is leaving last night I cried and today I cried. I left the house to go walking and he came out and gave me a cursory peck on the cheek, like you would give your mother. The neighbors were watching so perhaps that is why he did that at all...I walked away turned and watched him go up and into our house. Maybe for the last time.

    I went walking at Bella Vista Lake. Its a long walking trail and I circled the lake twice. I kept hoping that I would just fall down in the sun and dry out to a crisp, so there would be no life left in me, like a dead frog. I walked till my head ached, then I came home...

    I drove past the church, toying with the idea of seeing Pastors David or Pat, but I didnt..I couldnt bring myself to throw Woody under the bus when he might actually come back. The neighbors were told for my safety, so they wouldnt hesitate to call if they say something when I wasnt around. I have told my boss, who looked at me in shock.

    I am not in shock. I scared him six weeks ago when I came into the bedroom after a long day and said maybe I should move out...take the cats and go somewhere anywhere. I was so weary of it all the simpering, the excuses and the fakery. I feel like the man's mother, and I want to scream. When do I get a little love and attention? Did the thought of me ever play into the decision making process of going to California? I asked, it did not. Woody considers me perfectly capable of taking care of all of lifes circumstances... Perhaps its that fact that drove him off, but please, dont kids yourselves. I learned that he is the joke of the neighborhood, and how he talks big but does nothing. He care nothing for our home wont fix or take care of things, and the older men on the block scorn that. His not working not making a big effort to look for work is a joke amongst these people and he hasnt fooled them one bit.

    On the other hand, I have been told that my willingness to keep trying inspires on lady with issues with her grown daughter and granddaughter. Maybe I am foolish, but I feel a definite turning of the page, a diverging of the paths. Even if or when Woody comes back, things will be different, and not a good different. I cannot trust him and I cant believe him. I have to rely only on myself.

    Woody, If you are reading this from Jim's computer in California, feel free to comment. I would like to know why you felt that during this fragile time in our lives that you HAD to leave. Two weeks and a precious long weekend which I took off so I could be with YOU... I wish I could go somewhere without you, and maybe I will, I dont know

    I wish I could run away... it has been my life's dream, but I have learned that "Home is always where ever YOU are..." you can escape your troubles ....they follow you everywhere

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    Hokule'a at mywideblueseas@gmail.com

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    My other Blogs~

  • Its All About The Journey~Reshaping My Life,One Pound At A Time

  • My Wide Green Fields~~ The Ohio Journey

  • Hokule'a~~Star of Gladness- A Poetry Blog

  • Lux Aeterna-A Memorial Blog dedicated to those affected by the events of 9-11-2001

  • Hawaii Calls! News Views and Links from the Big Island of Hawaii

  • Remembering Annabelle


  • Join the Project.... I am Blogger 768~







    Blogs I am reading~

    Pretty Nearly Daily Reads ~

  • 922 Cats

  • Collecting My Thoughts


  • Texas Trifles

  • Shiloh Musings

  • Smoothstone...

  • Attitude of Gratitude


  • LaShawn Barber's Corner

  • Journal Of A Writing Man


  • Regeneration


  • Wheelie Catholic


  • Insightscoop


  • Bloggers over 50


  • Koinonikon-Margi


  • Christ Is In Our Midst

  • Daily Weaving


  • Glory To God For All Things


  • The Eleventh~ a blog


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    Blogs of the Ozarks, and the Tri State Region~

  • Live! From Paradise!

  • Steph's Gonna Win!

  • The More Excellent Way

  • ...just another day in paradise...

  • Deo Volente

  • When Kate Blogs

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    Focus on Israel ~~~

  • Smoothstone...

  • Jack's Random Thoughts

  • Me-Ander



  • Solomonia

  • Shiloh Musings

  • Jewish in a Gentile World





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    Abigail Valentine, my little darling ~



    Fave Dog Blogs ~


  • Chihuahua Craziness

  • Miss Sadie Shih-Tzu

  • Raina Roo's and Kitty's too puppy blog

  • Bailey's Buddy

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    Annabelle my Beloved ~

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    May She Rest In Peace 2-25-2009 ~

  • Light A Virtual Candle as a Tribute

  • Post a Tribute for Your Departed Pet



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