April 30, 2005

Sending Out an S.O.S.....

Bananas anyone... a wild banana tree in Rainbow Falls State Park

Posted May 1, 2005 at the Drury Inn, The Woodlands, Texas

To all of my blog friends, I am not ignoring you...I am being screened...kept from you by someone's idea of what is "ad-lt c-nt-nt"...I cant even view my own blog. these public computers are blocked. If this is what happens at libraries then I am now against these screening devices. Its keeping most bloggers from being read in a public venue.

If they knew you all they would laugh at this lable...

Some of you quit blogging, but I dont know why? Did something horrible happen please email me Kitten...I am concerned...

I have not seen comments from a lot of you and I know this is a busy time of year...I cant get on your sites to comment either. Just giving you all a shout and letting you know that I think that Blogging is a two way communication process. I am not asking you to comment, I am telling you that I think of you and am praying for you all that read me, some nearly daily for which I am grateful.

To the man from Uganda that emailed me last month, You blessed me with your note beyond measure. You humble me with your words of encouragement.

April 28, 2005

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Eureka Springs

Lava Breakout Arms HVO photo

Posted in the condo "Wedgewood Six" Holiday Island Arkansas 4-28-05

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Eureka Springs....

Woody has fallen in love again. He flat out said it as we fussed at each other while looking at the 80th home in the Bentonville/Bella Vista areas... He loves this place. He loves the small town-ness (Surprise Bentonville Arkansas, the home of the international corporate HQ of Wal-Mart has less that 20,000 residents)and the fact that it feels like California... "California?" I asked? "Well, the areas above LA in the 80's before it all grew up..." He's right about that. This area is on the verge of exploding. WalMart demands that every vendor have an office here in this area so people and housing and all the trappings of civilization are errupting with the benevolent forsight of the Walton clan. New roads hospitals and schools are going up as are the tracts of new homes and office buildings. Everything is masterplanned. Growth is contained to a certain level by a number of things but we are interested to see this as opposed to the unmitigated sprawl of Los Angeles and now Houston.

Woody wants to live in a golf/resort community but not exactly on the 5th tee. (We did look at a house on the 1st tee here on Holiday Island, but it was under contract ie sold... Shucky darn... I want to be on 10 acres with a barbed wire fence around me in the middle. We may have come up with a compromise in Bella Vista, a master planned community on the Missouri border. We looked at a number of homes there and found a number of compromises, not the least of which was that I will not live in a new house that looks like some crazy mans vision of an Edwardian castle complete with chocolate brown walls and decorating off the extreem makeover show... Orange Walls anyone... GAG!!!! Give me a 90s ranch with great rooms and if it has an oversized tub OK not required, Id rather have a huge steam shower and I need a dining room to park my huge dining suite...There are plenty to choose from and well in our price range too.

Our stedfast agent Joyce took us to a 1990 ranch owned by a native norweigen couple that are bound for a nursing home.This had to be a recent event for the house is spotless and well cared for. The home is unique, and while the bedrooms are generous and there is the dining room the living room is a triangle with a massive fireplace in the center of the wide "bottom" edge The kitchen is a triange as well so its like these two triangle fit together to make a rectangle. A huge screened in Lanai open off the master and dining room to a lovingly landscaped garden and woods beyond. I loved it and said yes. We submitted an offer but we wont know for a week as we found out after we made the offer that the husband who listed the house has had a stroke in the last week and the family is meeting over the weekend to talk over how things will go on from here... a trying thing for all concerened and we understand how this feels. So we dont think there is a problem unless there is a death or determination that the seller was not competent to sell. Not likely but then we are 0 for three in the offer department... I am praying again for God's will and not my own...

We are very fortunate to have landed a place to live here temporarily on Holiday Island if we need it. "Wedgewood Six" is a private home that is occasionally rented out to vacationers. There is a computer with internet access and that is how I am posting. We are staying in another condo about 1/2 a mile away. Joyce is trying to find us a place where we can be with Mak and Nani during the interim, but so far nothing. We can sneek them in here but I hate risking the good will of the people here that are so eager to help us get settled here. I also hate the idea of my baby kitties staying in boarding for so long... Its hard for them and us.

If you had told me that I would like it this well well enough to try to have a new life here I wouldnt have believed it, but funny things happen and its growing on me...it really is...

April 27, 2005

The Natural State

Anuenue forming in the clouds


Posted in the condo "Wedgewood Six" Holiday Island Arkansas

I was very surprised when we landed here 4-23 in the late afternoon. It was a lot cooler than it had been in Texas and the reports were that we were to have a frost that night. We took the drive from the airport to Holiday Island about 55 miles. It was lovely really, with wooded farmland... some tracts going in but none of the hustle bustle of Houston. The air smelled of the pollen but not of pollution and humanity like we were experiencing even in Conroe.

Our home away from home is a large well appointed town home on Table Rock Lake. Floor to ceiling glass gives us a birds eye few of the trees and springtime on the lake. We missed the redbuds but the dogwood trees are in full bloom. Its raining a bit every day and that is helping my allergies a whole lot. Not having dust from construction and road fumes is a plus too.

We spent the day sunday looking at some homes that the agent on duty could show us. We also had a bit of fun looking at the shops in Eureka Springs. This lovely Victorian Town is full of shops and other fun things to look at and we had a good time taking the trolley around the town to see the sights.

Monday we were able to see a few more homes that we had seen on realtor.com, including one that Woody has been following since December. Turns out that home is owned by a 65 year old lady who has poured her life into it and wants her full price and a long time AFTER escrow closes (up to 45 days) to get out. Sice we are cash buyers we see no need for this and after trying to figure out a way to work this out we abandoned that house. I would have loved living there but I cant see trying to get her out after she has our money. Imagine the news of us having to evict her I dont think I want to go through that.

We have enjoyed shopping here for both food and homes, both of which are cheaper than in Texas. One thing for sure, the property taxes are a whole lot lower here. They cry in Texas is that you dont have a State Tax... Well that is true, but if you are low earners like we are we dont benefit from that. Property taxes to the tune of 3000.00 to 4000.00 per year in some of the areas that we are looking at are a scream. That doesnt go down... We nearly fell over laughing at the market here on Holiday Island. In a resort town 15 miles from anywhere milk is still $2.99 per gallon and we paid a dollar for a loaf of bread and got a DiGorno Pizza for $3.00.Gas is 2.09 in Bentonville, and we had a all you could eat buffet meal at a hotel in Eureka Springs, with hot food and all for all of $6.50.

Add to this the sunday want ads, pages of jobs in this area for things we can do, at pretty decent wages. It will be interesting to put a resume out and see what happens. Woody thinks that I would just have to go to one place, Walmart International Logistics, and they will hire me on the spot. I worked for one of the firms that handled their overseas freight for 5 years in LA...I have a sinking feeling that he is right. I dont know if I want that sort of stress in my life again...but its a different world now maybe...having a paycheck again would be a great thing... I havent earned a dime in over two years... Five car lots in Bentonville had "Experienced salesman wanted" out front... Woody is salivating to get to work I though that I would never see that day...

Then there is the beauty of this place... Hawaii it aint...make no mistake about that but its not called "The Natural State " for nothing. Forests and hills as far as the eye can see. Streams, and lakes abound. In town, deer cross the roads at all hours and we saw two foxes playing outside the condo this morning in the drizzing rain... As the lightning brought the air cleansing rain to us, I realized that in saying that Arkansas was not for us was the result of listening to what others say and not what God maybe saying... The friends that told us we would love it here were right. I think I could really learn to like it. But again I dont want to get ahead of God. Yet I can see that the road may be wide open here for a fresh start. I told Woody that this is his call, we shall see how things go.

April 24, 2005

Spring Hymn

lesser bird of paradise


Spring Hymn

A song of spring once more we sing
As winter flies away,
And changeful hours bring sun and showers
To weave a crown for May;
With heart and voice we all rejoice,
On this returning day.

For once again the promise,strain
Floats down from days of yore,
That fruits of earth shall wake to birth,
To bless the toiler's store;
Each annual round with bounties crowned,
Till time shall be no more.

Thee, Lord, we praise for springtide days,
And life's yet fairer spring;
These golden hours, these opening powers,
We in glad service bring,
Thine own to be, from sin set free,
Our Father, Savior, King.


Wm Grosser 1905

April 23, 2005

A Few Bumps In The Road

The joyful seas...

posted in the condo "Wedgewood Six" Holiday Island Arkansas April 28 2005

Hello friends I have not died but there has been a lot going on these past few days and there are no internet cafes in this part of Arkansas. That is about the red neckiest thing I have seen here, and quite the contrary I have been pleasently surprised at the demener and level of civilzation here is Northwest Arkansas.... but I must tell all of the story and not get ahead of myself Woody and most importantly God...

We had a huge disapointment April 21 when the inspection was done on 107 Harbourtown, April Sound. The place was a doll house, and sparkled from top to bottom. Everything was fully redone Wiring plumbing roof as well as the inside. We knew that the area is "soft" there is soil slippage as is true of all lake property, but we went forward made an offer and called the inspector... There were a shocking 25 calls on the property for serious strutural defects not the least of which was buckleling of the foundation under the garage but also problems with wiring and how the plumbing was done. In addition the siding was new and there was a aluminum type paint on the rafters. This we were told could be done to reduce mold, or cover up fire damage. The new sideing could cover new cracks and frankly he said "run dont walk away from this one... Its like falling in love with a beautiful girl only to find out she has a rap sheet yea long..." So we bailed on that deal and offered on house number two in Magnolia. We were rejected over night on our price and contingency... we are still waiting for our house to close in Hawaii, and that may be as long as May 20th...

So we told the agent we would start again when we returned to Texas April 30th. We boarded a plane for Northwestern Regional Airport Arkansas... somewhat uneasy about the situation. The Saturday afternoon traffic was sickening and both Woody and I were not feeling well from allergies. I hear that the pollen is the worst on record. I feel coated with the sticky yellow crap... The hazy sky made me miss the blue skies of Hawaii and the flatness of the land made me a bit sad... This is going to take some getting used to and I am trying to keep an open mind.

We boarded the tiny plane really not knowing what to expect next...

April 21, 2005

The Best Laid Plans

Red Ginger Wailoa State Park

I may be the victim of too much planning.

We got ahead of ourselves and messed up our househunting plans by buying only the 25th house we saw when we planned to see 300 at least. We also violated our agreement that this was to be a place where we could retire... The home has two floors and the "living" rooms kitchen living and Master bedroom are upstairs and two smaller bedrooms full bath and laundry (laundry is not living...) are down. When we are old and decrepit we are not going to want this place and the flight of stairs...

Woody points to the view of Lake Conroe and says "For that I will climb stairs." OK as long as he can remember that we will be ok. Insted of a promise, I have a plan to make the downstairs functional in case of illness injury or, in my case, inability to avoid disasters... (for those of you that asked, my leg has healed from the sprains and strains of the fall on the day we departed Hilo. The nasty cuts are taking longer but I think Will be fine... scars perhaps but this will remind me of the true cost of paradise.)I am adding on a screened room for the kitties and will put a "summer" kitchen on one end, complete with grill and fridge. The slab is already poured and I am sure it wont be an issue as we have a rather large treed back yard.

I had a panic attack about the stairs today but I can say that this was the only thing wrong with the place and it had so many other things going for it. Woody talked me out of putting my foot down and backing out of the deal. I dont think I can get my big furniture up those stairs but we shall see when the time comes. He also said that we can still look at Florida and other options for a retirement venue in the mean time enjoy this... I know my legs will get stronger...anyone know how many calories you burn climbing staris?

Then he took me to see the baby kitties, who are doing well and want to come home to somewhere. I know THEY will love running up and down the staircase. Maybe they can learn to haul down the laundry and bring up the groceries LOL. Seriously. We were greeted with much purring and Nani who has been holed up in the linen closet also located in their room came out for a bit. Both cats are down in weight but they ate in our presence not ravenously as though they are not beeing fed, but just they dont have the food they like. They are drinking a lot of water to which has to be good for them.

We leave for Arkansas on Saturday. We dont need to go but we have paid for the trip so this is a bit of vacation for us. I do think that we will see a lot of pretty places but they dont have the jobs we need. Woody is working on getting his resume stuff together and I have been trying to think about what it is that I want to do. Again its more and more of trusting God to show me His way here and not trying to figure it all out for myself...

April 19, 2005

April's Mystery and Misery

And you think you have potholes??? Look at this one! A lava skylight... look at the HVO scientist in the blue protective gear, and compare the two! HVO Photo

For the nation and for me personally this is the month of misery. Civil War Battles Assasinations of both Lincoln and ML King. Oklahoma City... Columbine... for me personally, I have spent much of this month in bed from sickness for most of my life, but for my time in Hawaii. I think its pollen.... My Fathers death, my divorce, losses of two critical jobs and in 1996 I nearly died of anaphalyctic shock. You might say leaving Hawaii falls into this group too. This was one of the hardest things that I have ever done.

But...daily now, I think this may turn out to be one of the wisest things I have ever done as well. I look around me and see the trappings pf prosperity. Of people happy with their lives. There are more homes than people here and plenty of jobs in the paper. Woody is already happier, and I have strated to tell myself to go with the flow and not push my way into anything, For I know that God is leading.

We looked at homes all day yesterday and today we went to a development called April Sound, located on Lake Conroe. We looked at a home that might just be a close second to my home in Hawaii, but better in that its private and I have a place to garden and a view of the lake. Its going to be very different from what I am used to but on the other hand I am a Stranger in a Strange Land...

Woody made and offer on the place ....we shall see....It looks like Texas after all. I hope that I can count this as a positive April experience, living in "April" for a long time to come.

The Satisfied Heart

South Point Seas... waves off Punalu'u Black Sand beach Kau

Blog update at the Iverness at Del Lago resort near Lake Conroe TX. 4-17-05

At what point are we satisfied? What do we truly need? What is pure self endulgence, excess, gluttony, Waste... I am asking myself these and other questions as we spend really our first full day in what my dear cousin Lyn calls "civilization".

In terms of American life this is truly that. I find myself overwelmed with the trappings of life here... Billboards, outlawed in Hawaii as visual blight florish. Smoking in resturants and public places, which thankfully has been outlawed in both Hawaii and California to the benefit of all including resturant owners that now can use all of their seating all of the time. When the house is divided between smoking and no smoking no one wins, we all breathe the same polluted stinking air. The room we are staying in has been recently smoked in. The bedroom I am using has a hole in the window screen where, from the looks of the soot filled sill, a hole was made and the ashes and butts carelessly tossed out. I found a pile of butts in the flower bed... Disgusting abuse of someone elses property. When people say that we need no laws governing smoking, I say that when you are dealing with an addiction you must tell the sddicted how to act for they do not care for anything but getting the next fix..., not your heath or life or property... thats just how it is... They are never satisfied with the smoking they do away from me and others like me that cannot tolerate it (I am on meds again already, I think from the room..)They must blow it in my face... But I digress from my point...

We went out to dinner last night with Lyn to the Salt Grass Steak House. We had a wonderful time yacking and eating and John was meeting her for the first time and getting a window on what my mothers family is like. It all went very well indeed. But as I pondered the menu astounded anew at the difference in prices from Hawaii and I know that the quality in 10 times better here even at Mc Donalds... I found myself wanting more and more, and so did what I have been doing all through this trip. I order and make myself leave some food on the plate, a discipline that I hope will help me to lose a little weight and to be thankful for what I have, the sheer abundance of everything astounds me...

Hawaii was a lesson in sacrifice. I know that sounds at total odds from the image that you have in your mind of this place. But for us people that have always had good jobs to have none and the results of whice were thankfully never hunger but often eating things that were less than satisfying and often not the best for me. I found myself consuming larger quantities of different things that I seemed to crave because I was deficient in real nutrition as good foods, protiens especially are very expensive. Rice doesnt fill you up...thats why we have so many obese Hawaiians that are dying of complications of diabetes... You arent satisfied on rice and span your body craves more.

I am chosing at this point to try to give my body a chance now that I can...

We shlepped off to Wal Mart for camera downloading and found that there were not one but two SUPER Walmarts along the route back to the resort. Walking into the cavern of excess some how makes you nuts. You see all of these things that you must have... I turned to Woody and said..."we need to be careful in this place we could go crazy in here..." He nodded still staring at all of the stuff amazed. The place was 4 times as big as our Walmart in Hilo and has a food store attached. So we were able to do a bit of grocery shopping with out going to a second place as well.

To make a long story short the prices of everything were 75% less than what we are used to. Milk 2.50 a gal insted of 8.00. and so on. WE steeled ourselves to not over spend and got out of there with only what we needed not with a bunch of junk that we have no place for right now.

Houses are the same way. Big Bigger Biggest... Its amazing at the price, what you can get here. For us from pricy California and Hawaii its mind blowing... So we have found it hard to explain what we want to the realtor, Small but not too small. secluded but not so far away that we can never get to work...ect...

Today we looked at a 1/2 dozen homes. of the three that we had scheduled to day 2 were contenderes from the Realtor.com Group that we have been studying for the past 6 months. We were sadly disapointed at the two we did see, and the third was sold. WE then drove on our own to April Sound a planned community on Lake Conroe. Here we saw two new homes that other than being cheek by jowl on top of your neighbor and pained baby poop brown (what is it with this mad decoration? The color looked like cat barf.) And no yard they are called Patio Homes which means that everyone shares a common area and you have no yard and no say in the planting of your area. I didnt like that...

but then we were shown a town home that we liked really well. It has a fenced back private yard and the home was spacious enough to meet our needs. At 80K asking its a good deal and has a water view of Lake Conroe. Only one wall is shared so less noise... We shall see what more is out there on the horizon. I know that there are a lot of homes to choose from... At what point do we choose I dont know.

I wonder at my own sense of satisfaction or lack of it. I know that one of the great temptations to do or buy anything is "because we can" That is not good enough. I screwed up last time buying a ton of stuff I did not need, a house that was too large for me to care for. Woody eats himslf through resturants, spends lavishly because he can and its available. I am trying to find that happy medium between excess and want. Its one of my goals as I take this adventure to heart and try to embrace all of the lessons that God has to teach me...

April 17, 2005

Psalm 71

Safe Harbor Reeds Bay Hilo Hawaii

Psalm 71

In You, O LORD, I have taken refuge; Let me never be ashamed.
In Your righteousness deliver me and rescue me; Incline Your ear to me and save me.
Be to me a rock of habitation to which I may continually come; You have given commandment to save me, For You are my rock and my fortress.
Rescue me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, Out of the grasp of the wrongdoer and ruthless man,
For You are my hope; O Lord GOD, {You are} my confidence from my youth.
By You I have been sustained from {my} birth; You are He who took me from my mother's womb; My praise is continually of You.
I have become a marvel to many, For You are my strong refuge.
My mouth is filled with Your praise And with Your glory all day long.
Do not cast me off in the time of old age; Do not forsake me when my strength fails.
For my enemies have spoken against me; And those who watch for my life have consulted together,
Saying, "God has forsaken him; Pursue and seize him, for there is no one to deliver."
O God, do not be far from me; O my God, hasten to my help!
Let those who are adversaries of my soul be ashamed {and} consumed; Let them be covered with reproach and dishonor, who seek to injure me.
But as for me, I will hope continually, And will praise You yet more and more.
My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness And of Your salvation all day long; For I do not know the sum of them.
I will come with the mighty deeds of the Lord GOD; I will make mention of Your righteousness, Yours alone.
O God, You have taught me from my youth, And I still declare Your wondrous deeds.
And even when I am old and gray, O God, do not forsake me, Until I declare Your strength to this generation, Your power to all who are to come.
For Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the heavens, You who have done great things; O God, who is like You?
You who have shown me many troubles and distresses Will revive me again, And will bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
May You increase my greatness And turn to comfort me.
I will also praise You with a harp, Even Your truth, O my God; To You I will sing praises with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel.
My lips will shout for joy when I sing praises to You; And my soul, which You have redeemed.
My tongue also will utter Your righteousness all day long; For they are ashamed, for they are humiliated who seek my hurt.

April 16, 2005

A Further Report from a undesclosed location...

My first post on the mainland... Sorry that I dont have a photo of this pretty place we are staying in near Lake Conroe. But we are fine weary from the long trip. Meeting my cousin for dinner tonight and we begin house hunting in the morning. The pollen count is at max and I am itchy and stuffed up but this was expected and we will put me back on Claritin and see how I do. If you are new to MWBS.. the main reason that I was living in Hawaii was my very bad allergies.That was my initial reason for moving there the love thing came later..... There is still some question if I can live in an area away from really clean air. We shall see.

Makoa and KaNani did beautifully on their flight. the kind people at Continental Airlines were super and so supportive of "Mom and Dad". I saw many puppies and other pets being checked at the desk at George Bush Airport so this is a big thing for the airline I guess. The kitties are sleeping and eating fine and will be staying at a boarding place about 20 miles from where we will be here in Lake Conroe. I felt really good about the lady that runs the kennel. the place was very nice and she showed great understanding and love towords my "babies" This is a good thing as they may be there a very long time.

This computer is ver clunky and not very fast, so I may not be as able to post as I thought. Still I am glad that the resort provides this and its free as I have been paying 7-10 bucks per hour for my blogging. Its not sensored either so I can get my favorite blogs that are filled with "stonger" stuff than some... You know who you are...

Its going to take a while for me to get used to hazy skies and no mountains in the distance. I love the woods and critters running around here, its very pretty...

Travel Day****revised****

Palms at Wailoa Park

Flying today and landing Will be crashed out Im sure and not up to posting will let you know how things are going in a few days.


revisied at the Honolulu Airport international terminal 530pm HST 4-15-05

last post from Hawaii. Had a most difficult day getting to all that we needed to get to. I woke tired and sick Yes of course it nerves and I quite expected that but it made it no less easy with Woody acting his usual travel day self a bit brainless.

But we were tracking on time. The timeing of everything was critical with the tendering on the cats being critical. If they are not presented at the proper time no earlier no later then they can miss the flight which makes it impossible for the next leg of the trip...and so on...

Got to the boarding place and while walking up to the office, I walked on a patch of cinder...very common in this land of unpaved everything. But the soil underneath was satuated and I sunk into it causeing me to do a rather spetacular backflip and land "okole" or butt down in the deep mud flat on my back. Ankle and calf are sprained and my big left toe is turning black. I have walked on it and estimated 3 miles. Aches like a son of a gun...

\woody did his usual thing when a bad thing happens he moves into another phase of the effort under the guise of keeping the momentum but really its a fear of blood and guts.I hate it when I have to be both of us, especially when he ripped me for always taking charge... I did so this time getting new clothse and reassuring the boarding lady that I wasnt going to sue... so I managed and we are doing ok. I could use a heating pad...

Cats did fine comming over from Hilo and I think it will be better on the big bird to Houston. Makoa will wear out his "Meow-er" from crying if he keeps it up, and Nani was constantly trying to hide under her towel, you know how it is. Bury your head in your pillow and sleep, things will be better when you wake up...I feel the same way...two tylinol with codien and I will be just fine for the duration I need to sleep.

Thanks again for your prayers. I am in a state of disbelief that I am doing this but it is the right thing and Woody thanked me today for trying this. It helped...

Giving it over to God for that is all I can do. Catch you in a few days..

April 15, 2005

Aloha O'e (Farewell to Thee)

I love you Hilo...

It is said that Queen Lili`uokalani composed "Aloha O`e" in Maunawili in 1897 after witnessing the fond parting embrace of two lovers, one of whom was probably her sister, Likelike, who later married A. S. Cleghorn. The final verse mentions the rose blossoms (nā pua rose) at Maunawili. Liliu`okalani intended "Aloha O`e" as a love song; but it became a song of farewell, when she was banished from her beloved Hawaii not long after this song was composed.


Aloha O'e

In Hawaiian

Ha`aheo `e ka ua I nā pāli
Ke nihi a`ele i ka nahele
E uhai ana paha i ka liko
Pua `āhihi lehua o uka.

hui:
Aloha `oe, aloha `oe
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo.
"One fond embrace," a ho`i a`e au
A hui hou aku.

`O ka hali`a aloha ka i hiki mai
Ke hone a`e nei i ku`u manawa.
`O `oe nō ka`u ipo aloha
A loko e hana nei.

Maopopo ku`u `ike i ka nani
Nā pua rose o Mauna-wili.
I laila ho`ohie nā manu,
Miki`ala i ka nani o ia pua.

in English

Proudly the rain on the cliffs
Creeps into the forest
Seeking the buds
And miniature lehua flowers of the uplands.

Chorus:
Farewell to thee, farewell to thee
O fragrance in the blue depths.
One fond embrace and I leave
To meet again.

Sweet memories come
Sound softly in my heart.
You are my beloved sweetheart
Felt within.

I understand the beauty
Of rose blossoms at Mauna-wili.
There the birds delight
To the beauty of this flower.

If I forget thee, my Hawaii, it will mean I have forgotten all that means anything to me, for you were my dream and my hope for so very long. It is with sorrow that I leave thee and regret. I barely knew you and may never know you truly and that makes me very sad...

Reflections of My Wide Blue Seas

Reflections of My Wide Blue Seas Near Pohiki Puna

Its that moment that I have been dreading... The end of my time here. I want to thank all of you that have been so encouraging to me as I pass through this journey. I had a friend of Woody's tell us at breakfast that she as a locally born person has rarely seen the kind of efforts that we made to stay. We never held this dear place too cheaply. As I looked out today at the mist shrouded Mauna Kea flanks I know in my heart that we gave it our best shot...

It is all one can do...

It has been my heart's delight that you have favored me with your reading of my blog. I in no wise intend to stop writing, but Hawaii may only be a occasional topic now as I visit new places and traverse new seas. I have thousands of photos yet unposted and I hope to be able to continue to post one a day and show you new places as I discover them.

For the next few weeks posting may be spotty but I hope to get to a computer and update you on all of our adventures. Next stop Houston/Conroe/Montgomery, Texas...For Woody, Makoa, Ka Nani and myself... We fly out 10 am and by the time we make connections and fly accross the great sea it will be 8 am 4-16 CST... I will think about those courageous people on board the voyaging canoes that traversed the Pacific, and follow the star that is set before me...

Aloha and Hana Hou

April 14, 2005

Ke Moana e Aloha (the sea that I love)

Ke Moana e Aloha or "The Sea that I Love" The wild shore near Keaukaha Hilo

I have written a lot that I am having a lot of trouble being positive about moving. One thing that I have learned is that if I blog it, things ease up. I suppose its like confession, you get it off of your chest. So....I thought that since I have written about the negative things I wont miss I should write about things that I will miss and that seem to be the Knife twisters...

1. Living in the land of Bruddah Iz I love this mans voice and to hear him sing Ua Mau Ke Ea O Ka Aina I Ka Pono E Hawaii.(the state motto " The life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness, O Hawaii) was to hear the sound of the spirit of the "Native Hawaiian" crying out. Makes your hair stand on end. This man is a local hero and he is played all the time on the radio...

2. Hearing Hawaiian music all the time... I never grow tired of it, especially "Slack Key" guitar. The thought of going back to garbage top 40 or worse the tiano mexican Omm-pah music makes me want to gag...

3. Hearing Hawaiian language in my ears. I realzed that I speak a different language from you now, English peppered with Hawaiian that I worked hard to incorporate into my speech so I would fit in and be culturally literate. When will I stop using "Pau" for finished and "Mahalo" for thank you. I can read enough Hawaiian to learn new words and how they are used in a sentence... This is usless now??? I dont know and I am not sure how I feel about the loss.

4. Being surrounded by the ocean. You have seen this place through my camera lense so you know what I mean I love the landscape here and the dramatic shoreline.

5.Living in the open. Woody and I slept with the slider open wide last night and the air temperature was perfect. We were at the same level with the palm branches and the rustling fronds were a comfort to me. I started sobbing over this. Perhaps I am just weary.... but this is how it was at the house too. Everything was open. I will miss the fresh air. The very smell of the air, green.... salty.... flowers...

6. Pride of Place. I have written about this before. I know that life is more than a zipcode, but it is special to have a Hawaiian License and be Kama aina a local. Now I can only be a visitor. I resent that I really do... Not sure how I will get over this part....

7. Not having Hawaii as a part of my daily life... just like a dysfunctional relationship, having it can be good as it helps you focus on this rather your issues. Also I find Hawaii and how this place is a facinating subject for writing about and reading about. I need to figure out how this loss will affect me in the long run, now I just cry about it.

8. The loss of the familiar. Saying goodbye to Kathy was hugely painful...Saying goodbye to my bank teller, wait staff at resturants. Seeing someone move into the store space...The realization that today was the last time I will be inside my home ever again. Or drive the Pahoa hwy... Touch a Ohia blossom or smell the tahitian Gardena in my garden. My car... My computer...This is a loss. With no certainty of a positive outcome. My very strong nesting instinct rebels against this over and over... I change... The finality of these changes is making me sick. I feel like I am plunging into an abbyss.

I know that God is watching over me. I know that God is allowing this to go forward and I know that my God will supply all of my needs....Then why does it hurt so much... Its the loss of hopes and dreams... The failure of vision and uncertainty

In The Company Of Strangers

Easter Sunset Kapaulu Oahu courtesy of Internet Radio Hawaii More on that when I am back up and running

Blog update posted at the Hilo Hawaiian Hotel 4-13-05 at 11pm

"You know...you are the third person to say you leaving..."

"People leaving left and right taking money earned from house sales, going to Vegas for jobs..."

" My son left last month for the mainland. He didnt want to work three jobs to feed his kids... One job with time and money left over..."

"Speculation! That is what is our land and running people out of their homes! How do we stop this before all of our kamaaina move to the mainland? Our town will be deserted, How will we live with prices going up and up???? Cant those stupid people on the Mainland quit talking about it on TV?

"You are doing the right thing...Go now, sell out now"

"Get out! Get out before the have nots attack the haves..." I think this is very scary, because I know that the resentment is building here. It wont be long before fist fights break out...



These are some of the comments that we hear as we near the end of our time here on the Big Island... Yours truly, the Pineapple Princess is still pouting and was crying today cant seem to get a grip for if those unsolicited comments are not enought to get me moving nothing else will. I think it was seeing the empty house and the kitties not happy with the changes in their lives... Maybe its Woodies glee at getting out of here and being able to eat in 5 star resturants again...

In the Company of Strangers you get the truth unvarnished... We are unwelcome and need to go...

In The Company Of Friends

Waianae Coast West Oahu

Blog updated in the lobby of the Hilo Hawaiian Hotel 4-13-05 pm

I love my friends Claudia and Mike. We had so little time to get to know one another yet I think of them as one of the better parts of my Hawaii experience. I met Claudia in Nov 2003 as my business was just getting underway. She was selling Advertising for the Hawaii Island Journal and I was not in a place where I could buy, so we talked and their horrible experience in paradise confirmed to us that we werent crazy and that we needed to think about our lives and What were we doing there on the Big Island. Well they sold their home in Kapoho and bought a home on Oahu in Kaneohe, which is up the windward coast from Honolulu. Their place is lovely and I envy thim just a bit at the way they were able to rework their dream. Mike finally got work as a engineer and things are looking up for them. It only took 6 years of struggle and nearly losing everything for this to work out. I am really really happy for them, and wish them all the luck in the world.

We took the ever popular public bus, 2 bucks gets you anywhere on Oahu...and went to Kaneohe and met Claudia. Woody and I then went to her house for a bit then off to a few points of intrest that we had missed. One was Senator Fong's Plantation and Gardens this was a very nice tropical garden tour and we all enjoyed it. I really didnt know too much about this man but he was the first person of Asian Descent to be elected to Congress. He worked under 5 presidents, and named the various area of his gardens for each of them.

We then went to the Valley of the Temples This is where the Byodo-In Temple is. We took that in again and enjoyed the budda in peaceful none tourist filled serenity. I was impressed with the beautiful wooden structure. It was nice to sit with a friend and not have to say a word you just let it all pass by...

From there we went in the setting sun down to Heeia Beach Park. The view we saw was spectacular. We sat a long time and found it very peaceful and restful. I cant believe that there are so many colors of blue I was amazed...

As darkness fell we traveled back to the condo and had a very nice supper and lively conversation. Mike was home from his job and well it was stimulating. These two are intellegent witty people and how I miss having conversations with such people. We had a long chat untill it was time for Claudia to drive us back into Waikiki for sleep and to catch our flight to the Big Island.

We had dinner at Kikodo tonight with my friend and mentor Kathy Hamnmes, I will miss her so. This relationship is far beyond the client mentor situation.... we are friends for life. She was very encouraging to me tonight in the face of the next difficult days ahead.

Our other friends are the baby kitties! Mak and Nani are doing fine. We took them for the health exam that they are required to have for travel to the mainland and both passed with flying colors. No problems are expected with the flight and we all should arrive safely to our new home...

I cant believe its only another day before we leave...

April 12, 2005

Personal Notes

Haleiwa Central Oahu courtesy of Peter Kund-Fury

Updated at the Hilo Hawaiian Hotel 4-12-05

Woody and I are doing fine and are glad to be "home" if only for a few days. This hotel the Hilo Hawaiian is our home away from home. This is where we stayed prior to moving into our home in Puna and it seems fitting to stay here in our final days on the Big Island.

We came back to wet cold rain. It has been much cooler than normal with a bit of new snow on Mauna Kea which I could see on Haleakala last week

We did get an offer on the house and the counters has been acepted an escrow opens in the morning . Thank God for that. We were getting a bit concerned about this and we are happy that things seem to be moving forward.

I am weary and having small fits of weeping over this but its a huge change and frankly I am ok with however I manage to get through this. Lugging two cats an a husband into the unknown is a tough thing and the phrase "any way you can" that we used in counseling seems to be the right one for now.

have some more to write about but I am out of time and money for now more later

Round The Island

Makaha (savage) Beach Park Home of "Brother Iz" Israel Kamakawiwo'ole and the center of local life on Oahu

I am very sad that we didnt get to this area. Its not included in the "round the island" tour. You really cant go around, truly around any island but the big Island. None of the others have roads that go all the way around. A bit of island trivia for you. This side of Oahu is considered "local" territory and we haolies are not too welcome there. They are building "affordable " housing there 300K and up soon it will be over run... sad... but back to roads...

But Oahu is the only island to have "Interstate" highways. Now that sounds pretty funny doesn't it considering you have 2500 miles of water between you and the mainland when you are here but "Interstate Highways" are Federal Highways designed for national security. Troop movements and equipment. So with all of the military bases here, there are 3 interstate highways. H1 that takes you all along the southern part of the island moving men and machines around Pearl harbor. A huge mess most of the time, H2 that takes you to from north to south through the center of the island and H3 that takes you from the Marines at Kaneohe to the Air Force at Scholfield and down to Pearl Harbor, (ironically the same path used by the Japanese during the attack on Pearl Harbor...). The H1and H2 were built over existing roads and didnt take long to construct. H3 goes through the mountains and took 22 years to build and was one of the most expensive highways to build in the US. It wasnt topography or weather or graft and corruption, it was litigation for this road cut through mile after mile of ancient burial grounds. Year ofter grinding years of court battles, thousands of graves moved...what a mess. No wonder there is so much opposition to a similar road in Kona...

Our around the island tour took us past many beautiful places, as I am on a pay by the minute computer I am going to list some of them and write a few impressions and give you a link if I can dig one up and put it on here. The pictures are really the thing that tells the story here and take the time to check some of these out.

First we went to Diamond Head Crater then on up to beautiful Hanauma Bay. I showed a photo of this earlier in the week. Then the Holona blowhole... I love these things they sing and blow water high in the air and are so spectacular. We then went up to the Pali which is the highest point on the island at just under 1200 ft. Wee stopped and had lunch at the Ko'olau Golf Course resturant. This course is said to be one of the most challenging around and certainly was very lovely, with dramatic mountain views.

After lunch we rode the bus to the Byodo-In Temple This buddist shrine is all constructed of wood and houses a budda that was carved for the 100th anniversary of the arrival of Japanese in Hawaii. It was quite lovely and I enjoyed photographing it and listeing to its great bell ringing.

WE followed the North shore No big waves for which I was grateful, but then we turned south and found ourselves going south to Wahiawa and the Dole Pineapple Plantatiion. All of the fruit that you could eat and lots of family fun...This whole trip was fasciating. We took a little mini train through the fields and because there is more diversification of plantings its better all around for the land. They still have the huge pineapple maze I was surprised as the word was they are building an airport out there on that land. Woody and I didnt try the maze. I cant find my way out of a wet paper bag these days. As it turns out I do know how to pick out a ripe pineapple...

April 11, 2005

Micah 7

The Canopy- Palms at Rainbow Falls

Micah 7


Woe is me! For I am Like the fruit pickers, like the grape gatherers. There is not a cluster of grapes to eat, Or a first-ripe fig which I crave.
The godly person has perished from the land, And there is no upright person among men. All of them lie in wait for bloodshed; Each of them hunts the other with a net.
Concerning evil, both hands do it well. The prince asks, also the judge, for a bribe, And a great man speaks the desire of his soul; So they weave it together.
The best of them is like a briar, The most upright like a thorn hedge. The day when you post your watchmen, Your punishment will come. Then their confusion will occur.
Do not trust in a neighbor; Do not have confidence in a friend. From her who lies in your bosom Guard your lips.
For son treats father contemptuously, Daughter rises up against her mother, Daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; A man's enemies are the men of his own household.
But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me.
Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall I will rise; Though I dwell in darkness, the LORD is a light for me.
I will bear the indignation of the LORD Because I have sinned against Him, Until He pleads my case and executes justice for me. He will bring me out to the light, And I will see His righteousness.
Then my enemy will see, And shame will cover her who said to me, "Where is the LORD your God?" My eyes will look on her; At that time she will be trampled down Like mire of the streets.
It will be a day for building your walls. On that day will your boundary be extended.
It will be a day when they will come to you From Assyria and the cities of Egypt, From Egypt even to the Euphrates, Even from sea to sea and mountain to mountain.
And the earth will become desolate because of her inhabitants, On account of the fruit of their deeds.
Shepherd Your people with Your scepter, The flock of Your possession Which dwells by itself in the woodland, In the midst of a fruitful field. Let them feed in Bashan and Gilead As in the days of old.
"As in the days when you came out from the land of Egypt, I will show you miracles."
Nations will see and be ashamed Of all their might. They will put their hand on their mouth, Their ears will be deaf.
They will lick the dust like a serpent, Like reptiles of the earth. They will come trembling out of their fortresses; To the LORD our God they will come in dread And they will be afraid before You.
Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity And passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in unchanging love.
He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot. Yes, You will cast all their sins Into the depths of the sea.
You will give truth to Jacob And unchanging love to Abraham, Which You swore to our forefathers From the days of old.

April 09, 2005

The Gathering Place

Dancers of the Polynesian Cultural center Oahu Google shots

Posted at the Honolulu Airport 4-12-05

Oahu means "The Gathering Place" at no place on this beautiful island is this more tru than the Polynesian Cultural Center in Laie Oahu. Founded in 1963 by the Mormon Church as a way to "thank the people of Hawaii for providing a haven for them during the tumultuous early years of their history, by preserving and nurturing the cultures of Hawaii and the rest of Polynesia,and to provide a means for students at the ajacent Brigham Young University to earn money to pay for their tuition at a world class institution." Young people from over 100 countries work there in jobs as various as caterers, tour guides and dancers. Many s study there and bring their families and we met a man that has three generations of his family currently enrolled in the school. All fees paid and goods purchased help support the students and none of the money goes to the church its self. The website is wonderful and if you are at all interested in this subject check it out...

We were VERY impressed by the care given to the look of the grounds, the way the young people were looked after, and the fact that you dont have to be Mormon to be a part of this and you can be from any place in the world to apply. We took a tour with a regular tour bus guide and park guide later, had a lovely buffet dinner and saw the evening show, which having seen shows in LA, and been to a dozen Luau's, this was by far the most professional production show I have ever seen. Dancers from 17 to 80 participate, including the best known fire knife dancer in Hawaii (more on him in a minute) and a "Kuma Hula" a hula teacher that judges regularly at Merrie Monarch competitions and so impressed me with her chant sans microphone in that open air theatre of 2500 people... Her drum hands were like steel and the joke is that none of her grandchildren disobeyed her for her swats were the worst!

The park is devided into 8 "villages" depicting the cultures and life styles of Hawaii, Tahiti, Sa'moa, Fiji, Marqueses, Rapa Nui, Tonga, and Aotearoa (New Zealand, and the Cook Islands) Our guide was from Fiji, a delightful , and our servers both nights were a from Cambodia, and two young men, one from Mongolia and the other from Pakistan. Talking to each of them about their lives in the home country was facinating. I kept thinking how wonderful it was the each of these people from such diverse places is getting a impossible wish granted. Going to a college and getting a degree.

We throurghly enjoyed ourselves so much so that we went again 4-9 (you get admission to the park for three consecutive days, and get all emenities but the meal and the night show.) We opted to take the 2.00 city bus and enjoyed that, and had the buffet again. I think I ate about 15 lbs of shrimp per sitting... All the fresh stuff you could stand, prime rib and crab legs.... I walked and climbed in and out of so many things that I burned off as much as I took in...

The best thing about day two was that we could leasurly go to each village and see all of the little mini shows about each island group. I think that Sa'moa is Woody's Favorite. The man that we saw both days is the pricipal Samoan dancer for the night show, a well known local artist and AND a grand father who has grand children in the school. We were so impressed with him as a athlete and a scholar. Very fun to talk to about his homeland and life here in Hawaii.

My favorite was the show from Aotearoa, This word means "land of the long white cloud" and it is believed that New Zealand was settled by Hawaiian refugees as recently as 1500 years ago. Here they found aboriginal settlers and intermarried. their culture is more advanced I think yet they were much more distrustful of foreigners, and still struggle to this day against the most recent invaders to their lovely islands. their carvings remind me of the images carved by natives of the Pacific Northwest... the "migration" of cultures in the pacific is about as debated as evolution is. There is no clear path...even DNA is inconclusive... I so enjoyed talking to these performers as many of them are of the heritage of the Maori, a people we didnt see too much of in our time in Hilo.

Two days of cultural overload didnt ease the ache of leaving here maybe it made it more accute... I dont know. I look forward to sharing my photos with you of this lovely place under the Hawaiian sun in this greatest of gathering places.

Honolulu City Lights***revised post****

Hanuma Beach Oahu Google photo

This post was revised 4-12-05 at the Honolulu Airport

I was posting this at a outdoor internet koisk on Seaside and Kuhio in Waikiki when the power went down and we had a bus to catch... Havent blogged since..

Our hotel was so so and nothing to write home about. We slept here and that was about it, anyway we were on the go from early in the morning till often midnight...
We used the public bus system and went all over the island... Both Woody and I loved leaving the driving to someone else...

People here seem to have a lot of mixed feelings about Honolulu. I love this city of 3 million. For me it has all of the things a big city should have and a lot of things no one else has. I mean I am blogging out under palm trees with the smell of coppertone in the air. The place bustles and people on holiday are shopping. The sound of windchimes, Japanese, choir music from the church up stairs and across the way fills the air... Clean Fresh Air in a downtown area. That is amazing!

If I could afford to live here I would. I think I could get used to the traffic, the 6 am wake up call by the trash man, and the glory of Waikiki Beach in my back yard. After all this is all L.A. EVER dreamed of being, Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, Malibu and Hawaii all rolled into one.

You see those "Got? "this or that signs everywhere. "Got Aloha?" "Got Poi" "Got Mana?" (inner strength,)

Got Surf?, Got Access? (computer not beach, everyone has that!)Got Gucci?

Yea, I got it... and you can get it everywhere around here...

As long as you "got job" and "got crib" or a place to stay. Rents are huge and the waiting lists for flats is long long long...

Median price for a fee simple home here... 585,000... most are 750,000 and up. Only Maui is higher.


we had dinner last night at the "Top of Waikiki" a revolving resturant just above me as I type. The food was ok and the service was lousy but the view THE VIEW was fabulous. We watched the sun go down and saw the surfers brave the evening shark feeding time to catch a few more wind driven waves. Then we walked the broad Kalakaua Blvd., with its designer shops and ocean views. Waikiki boasts the police station on the most prime real estate you can imagine, front and center in the midst of the worlds most famous beach

Woody and I are off to the Polynesian Cultural center today. This is Hawaii's Idea of Disneyland. Will tell you all about it... next time...

April 07, 2005

Hale akala "House of the Sun"

our home on Waikiki The Marc Suites on Lewers, above Prince Kuhio street Honolulu Oahu...We arrived here 4-7 for a few days of sighseeing. The hotel is so so and in somewhat of a disrepair... I wouldnt reccomend it... but we can sleep and rest there.

logged in at the "e-cafe" and outdoor cyber cafe on Seaside Ave Waikiki Honolulu Oahu 4-8-05

in the dim nearly forgotten time...Ka, the sun and,Mahina the moon made their own way across the sky with no thought to the peoples needs on the land below. The demi god Maui, son of Ku the god of the sky, stood on the highest mountain and with his rope lassoed the Sun, taming it. Ka the sun made a deal with Maui for his freedom... If Maui would release him, Ka would move in a regular pattern across the sky giving light and wamth to the people of the land. Mahina, the moon, respected the wishes of her husband and also regulated her times and seasons, creating the tides and feasting times... In gratitude for this blessing the people called the whole land "Maui" in their saviors honor, and the place where he captured the sun "Hale akala", the "house of the sun" to honor the the sacrifice of the moon her resting place was called Hale Mahina, the house of the moon and so the mountain of the upper portion of the land was named...

This is the first that I have been able to get blogger to come up in the three attemps in the last 48 hours. We have been really busy, and have seen a lot of things that we were hoping to while on Maui, and now Oahu.

on 4-6 Woody and I made the trek up the Haleakala Hwy to the top of Haleakala Volcano. Currently dormant this massive mountain boasts a caldera that is over 17 miles in diameter. My own Kilauea is only 4 miles across.

The trek up is exactly that... a trek. Not because of the roads... Maui is the most civilized place and boasts paved roads up to its pinnacle of splendor. Big Island's Mauna Kea with its bazillion dollar observatories only has steep unpaved roads... I think this is to keep us locals out. Haleakala's 22 miles of twisty two lane paved roads have a different deterrant. Once you drive into the National Park, the roads have no curbside barriers. You are quickly above the tree line and then the scrub line and the cloud line. The barren moonscape, flat road and twisty curves give you the sickening sensation of flying off the world into a cloudy abbyss... Scared the HELL out of us...Woody is doing all of the driving to avoid fussing and he crawled up the road in the center of the thing at 15 MPH. When you see the photos you will see why...

The first rest station was at 8200 feet, the second at 9000. At that point Woody didnt get out of the car. At the summit I was starting to get sick but at 10600 feet thats how it is... The air is blindingly clear and you can see all of the outer islands from this vantage on a clear day. The Big Island is clearly visible with both Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa both 13000 ft high rising above the clouds. It was a glorious sight.

April 06, 2005

The Best Island On Earth

Maui Seas Google shot

Posting at the Maui Island Coffee Co Lahaina Maui 4-5-05


According to Conde Nast, Frommers, and other travel publications Maui is the best island on earth. This is something that I believe as we explore this fantastic island. We love it, but we know that this isand MOST OF ALL is Disneyland. To buy and average, no view 3 bed 2bath house can cost from 600 to 900,000 bucks... rents are the highest in the islands. The condo we are staying in is fabulous beautifully appointed 1000 sq ft with a partial ocean view sold last year as we see it for 800,000. They estimate it would cost a million today. We treat it with care...

Yet it is stunning. The beaches are deserted. They are clean. The people are friendly and really show aloha all around. Most are WHITE... we ask if race is a problem. The driver on Molokai'i said yes to that. There is a real fear that Hawaii will be lost forever to Hawaiians...

its lost on this island, we saw one small enclave near the end of the Hana road, thats all...

We took a sunset cruise and had dinner. The whales are breeding in the bays here... and this includes all of the spectacular above water behaviour that we think of when one thinks of what whales do. We had one young male come flurting with the boat... He gave us all sorts of displays... Leaping and tail slapping and flipper waving... Sorry no photos they really didnt come out too clearly... We had a good laugh when I asked how much they paid the whales for the show...

Pool Day again today. No doubt I shall have skin cancer as the sunblock is to no avail. But to swim in the ocean with out aid, and feel safe and comfortable. Woody is having a ball. He feel like we are going some where. I think hes right.

A note to some of my friends. I am not able to read or comment on some of my regular blogs as most of these public venues use filters and I was surprised at how many sites are "filtered" so ...sorry and I cant wait till I get back to catch up on the news...

Happy Birthday Mom

Having the time of her life my Mom crusing aboard the RCCL Song of America Thanksgiving Week 1992

Dear Mom...

I am writing this to you as a way to celebrate your birthday today. I know that you would like to have me there with you, and I wish that I could be there.

This is not easy to write. For even though we have a good relationship maybe even a great relationship as far as things go there is this reserve that we both seem to share. A unwillingness to go deeper and to really talk about things. As we both know there are a lot of things that you refused to speak of and things that I just have always known were off limits...Its sad as now you cannot speak and we cannot have these conversations.I find that I tell you that I love you more often now and I wish those had been words more often said in our home as we were growing up... I can and do talk at you and I hope that you are not too frustrated by not being able to talk back.

We have had a lot of good times. I look at this photo, taken not too long after the release of Dad's death. We traveled together and did a lot of things together. It was a wonderful thing and I look back on it and cherish every moment that we had together. I am so grateful that God allowed us to do the things that we were able to do and to see the things that we were able to see...

The Southwest... Alaska... Hawaii... I have those moments engraved in my minds eye and will not lose them.

April 05, 2005

Mom at the Grand Canyon National Park 1986

We didnt always agree, that was a given in a family of individuals. We were firmly fundamentally disposed to disagree. But I think, especially once I became a Believer that I understood more and as I grew older that Mom wasnt so dumb after all. You really did know what you were talking about...

And I think as you grew older you saw that I wasnt so radical after all. That we had differing gifts and even in the work of the church we were more alike than unalike.

What you didnt know what that while I rebuked you for your sometime rebellion, a dislike you seemed to have for doing things that others needed you to do in a certain way. I admired you too. I admired your pluck and daring and sometime trailblazing ideas. After entering what was to be a second very difficult marriage I understood more than ever your determination to your commitment to Dad even though no one in the world would have condemned you had you left him. You chose not to and just as I stay with Woody in the face of all who would say how I would be better off leaving him, I can say what you said... I made a commitment to God and your father in that order.

I also understand your daily feeling of loss over leaving Cuba, and how perhaps that period of your life shaped you and made you into the person that you are. I understand how a place and a time can touch you so deeply....I feel this way about Hawaii and I know that while the circumstances are so different, in a way they are the same, that is the place where your heart lies...

Weither it is your courage for face the oncomming army of Fidel Castro on your little farm in Cuba, deal with disgrace... the daily grind of a troubled marraige or face the onslought of a rapidly degenerating illness that has robbed you of nearly all that you held dear in this life, you have lived you life with dignity. I salute you.

Happy Birthday, Mom~revised

.Having the time of her life my Mom crusing aboard the RCCL Song of America Thanksgiving Week 1992

Dear Mom...

I am writing this to you as a way to celebrate your birthday today. I know that you would like to have me there with you, and I wish that I could be there.

This is not easy to write. For even though we have a good relationship maybe even a great relationship as far as things go there is this reserve that we both seem to share. A unwillingness to go deeper and to really talk about things. As we both know there are a lot of things that you refused to speak of and things that I just have always known were off limits...Its sad as now you cannot speak and we cannot have these conversations.I find that I tell you that I love you more often now and I wish those had been words more often said in our home as we were growing up... I can and do talk at you and I hope that you are not too frustrated by not being able to talk back.

We have had a lot of good times. I look at this photo, taken not too long after the release of Dad's death. We traveled together and did a lot of things together. It was a wonderful thing and I look back on it and cherish every moment that we had together. I am so grateful that God allowed us to do the things that we were able to do and to see the things that we were able to see...

The Southwest... Alaska... Hawaii... I have those moments engraved in my minds eye and will not lose them.
.
.

Mom at the Grand Canyon National Park 1986

We didnt always agree, that was a given in a family of individuals. We were firmly fundamentally disposed to disagree. But I think, especially once I became a Believer that I understood more and as I grew older that Mom wasnt so dumb after all. You really did know what you were talking about...

And I think as you grew older you saw that I wasnt so radical after all. That we had differing gifts and even in the work of the church we were more alike than unalike.

What you didnt know what that while I rebuked you for your sometime rebellion, a dislike you seemed to have for doing things that others needed you to do in a certain way. I admired you too. I admired your pluck and daring and sometime trailblazing ideas. After entering what was to be a second very difficult marriage I understood more than ever your determination to your commitment to Dad even though no one in the world would have condemned you had you left him. You chose not to and just as I stay with Woody in the face of all who would say how I would be better off leaving him, I can say what you said... I made a commitment to God and your father in that order.

I also understand your daily feeling of loss over leaving Cuba, and how perhaps that period of your life shaped you and made you into the person that you are. I understand how a place and a time can touch you so deeply....I feel this way about Hawaii and I know that while the circumstances are so different, in a way they are the same, that is the place where your heart lies...

Weither it is your courage for face the oncomming army of Fidel Castro on your little farm in Cuba, deal with disgrace... the daily grind of a troubled marraige or face the onslought of a rapidly degenerating illness that has robbed you of nearly all that you held dear in this life, you have lived you life with dignity. I salute you.
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Alone... Mom getting her shot at the Petrified Forest National Monument Holbrook Arizona 1986

And so it is... You are 73 today. Aged prematurely by disease and hard living. My heart goes out to you and I wish that I could make things easier.

In my minds eye I see you as you appear in this photo. Alone, resolute, and somewhat defiant. You are standing there on a hill that you had to walk quite a ways to get to at a time yes when you could walk but it wasn't that easy for you. You did it any way, so you could get your shot. Just as you did things your way for a variety of reasons some known only to God at this point. Weather it was waiting so long to evacuate your home in Cuba so that as the jeep went down the road you could hear Castro's army blowing up bridges in your wake... To staying in your apartment in Bellflower beyond your ability to care for yourself...You insisted on doing things your way...I look back and shake my head and wonder if things could have been different and yet I know that a combatant spirit is just as necessary in the Kingdom of God as a phlegmatic one...Maybe even more so.

Happy Birthday Mom...

Alone... Mom getting her shot at the Petrified Forest National Monument Holbrook Arizona 1986

And so it is... You are 73 today. Aged prematurely by disease and hard living. My heart goes out to you and I wish that I could make things easier.

In my minds eye I see you as you appear in this photo. Alone, resolute, and somewhat defiant. You are standing there on a hill that you had to walk quite a ways to get to at a time yes when you could walk but it wasn't that easy for you. You did it any way, so you could get your shot. Just as you did things your way for a variety of reasons some known only to God at this point. Weather it was waiting so long to evacuate your home in Cuba so that as the jeep went down the road you could hear Castro's army blowing up bridges in your wake... To staying in your apartment in Bellflower beyond your ability to care for yourself...You insisted on doing things your way...I look back and shake my head and wonder if things could have been different and yet I know that a combatant spirit is just as necessary in the Kingdom of God as a phlegmatic one...Maybe even more so.

Happy Birthday Mom...

April 04, 2005

Molokai'i Dreams

Maui Beauty Google shot

Posting this on april 5th in the Maui Island Coffee in the Wharf at Lahaina Maui.

We took a two hour ferry to Moloka'i. This island is the most "Hawaiian" of all the isalnds that one can buy on your own... It was a rough ride accross the channel and frankly Id not like to do that everyday but the views were glorious.

This island is most famous for the Kalapaupa Leper Colony and the work of Father Daimien and Blessed Mother Marrianne... in the 1830's Leporosy broke out and this remote pennisula was where they were dumped off to die. These brave europeans came to help out and gave their lives for these unfortunates.

Today, new treatments allow these paitents to live in society. But there are twenty or so elderly residents still there and there they can stay till they die fir they have no where to go... Once gone this beautiful Place will become a national park. I am glad as this wild space is so beautiful. It, and its history needs to be preserved for the future to understand...

As for Woody and I, we are fine. We had a really lowball offer on this house which we refused and we will see more now that its being shown more. We have been out to the beach too much no doubt we will have skin cancer and we need to buy stock in the solarcane company... Burnt to a crispy red!

April 03, 2005

Isaiah 58

Glorious Dawn Kilauea Volcano HVNP/HVO photo

Isaiah 58


"Cry loudly, do not hold back; Raise your voice like a trumpet, And declare to My people their transgression And to the house of Jacob their sins.
"Yet they seek Me day by day and delight to know My ways, As a nation that has done righteousness And has not forsaken the ordinance of their God. They ask Me for just decisions, They delight in the nearness of God.
'Why have we fasted and You do not see? Why have we humbled ourselves and You do not notice?' Behold, on the day of your fast you find your desire, And drive hard all your workers.
"Behold, you fast for contention and strife and to strike with a wicked fist. You do not fast like you do today to make your voice heard on high.
"Is it a fast like this which I choose, a day for a man to humble himself? Is it for bowing one's head like a reed And for spreading out sackcloth and ashes as a bed? Will you call this a fast, even an acceptable day to the LORD?
"Is this not the fast which I choose, To loosen the bonds of wickedness, To undo the bands of the yoke, And to let the oppressed go free And break every yoke?
"Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry And bring the homeless poor into the house; When you see the naked, to cover him; And not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
"Then your light will break out like the dawn, And your recovery will speedily spring forth; And your righteousness will go before you; The glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
"Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; You will cry, and He will say, 'Here I am.' If you remove the yoke from your midst, The pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness,
And if you give yourself to the hungry And satisfy the desire of the afflicted, Then your light will rise in darkness And your gloom will become like midday.
"And the LORD will continually guide you, And satisfy your desire in scorched places, And give strength to your bones; And you will be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.
"Those from among you will rebuild the ancient ruins; You will raise up the age-old foundations; And you will be called the repairer of the breach, The restorer of the streets in which to dwell.
"If because of the sabbath, you turn your foot From doing your own pleasure on My holy day, And call the sabbath a delight, the holy day of the LORD honorable, And honor it, desisting from your own ways, From seeking your own pleasure And speaking your own word,
Then you will take delight in the LORD, And I will make you ride on the heights of the earth; And I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father, For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

April 02, 2005

The Hana Road

Maui Sunset Google shot

Well I am sitting in the Livewire Cafe in Pai'a Maui. This town is a lot like Puna on the Big Island, a throwback to the 60's quasi hippie funky fun...

We took a "Pool Day" yesterday 4-2. Just worn out at least in the morning. Did something that I have not done in years... swim in the ocean. Our condo is right in front of lovely Kamaole beach, about 50 yards or so so its a easy hope. calm peaceful and as Woody calls it "user freindly we hopped in and paddled around until we are now as sunburned as the rest of the visitors and therefore fit right in...camaflagued. Seriously the closest swimming beach to us on the Big Island is the lovely Hapuna, north of Kona and that is 3 hours away... so its been sort of like living inland. Then before we moved here I gave up swimming in the ocean in So Cal for the nastiness of the water...basically its an open sewer. That is the big ugly secret of that visitor location......

I loved being out in the water again.

Woody and I are doing well, we have eaten rested and done some sightseeing. (We have a wonderful Chrysler 300 touring car with less than 1000 miles on it. We will break this puppy in. We have already done some 4 wheel driving in it... After a rest we drove the 30 minutes to Iao Valley. I wish I had a way to post the photos. You would have thought that I had gone to New Zealand, to the area where Lord of the Rings was filmed. A blind valley sharply cut in the flank of the dormant volcano Hale Mahini (house of the moon) this misty valley, with a rain swollen river running through it is the stuff of dreams...just beautiful

Today we took the challenge and drive the 110 mile round trip Road to Hana. This narrow (1 1/2 lane most of the way 15 miles per hour...) road is considered the most beautiful drive in the world...well its one of the most difficult and only Big Island's Saddle Road is worse. 67 hairpin turns, 40 one lane bridges, some nasty locals and piles of tourists wanting the best photo ops' this includes your bloghostess....over 100 waterfalls grace this route. you want to shoot them all. The ocean views will break your heart. This is some of the most magnificent scenery I have ever seen... Stunning is an understatement.

As we drove I thought about how the Hana road is a metaphore for our journey. Its a well known route, people do it all the time, but there are so many twists and turns that you can really blow it easy and a disaster ensues. However the passing views are lovely and since its a narrow road that you cant turn around on you best just go forward and enjoy the ride...

We are doing that. We had what may be a set back. The commitee that we applied to to buy the home in Sarasota turned us down to rent the dirt the thing would have sat on...Seller is upset, saleslady is upset and we the potential buyers are upset... no one knows why yet a letter is waiting for us in Hilo when we get back on 4-12

I think it leaves us more options open...

My condolences to my Catholic Readers for the Death of His Holiness Pope John Paul II. I am not a Catholic and I disagreed with many things that he said but he did much that improved this world and for that he will be missed...

Also, the end of the struggle for Terri Schavio...May God have mercy upon her soul and upon her family.

Tomorrow, we are taking the ferry to the Island of Molokai'i for the day. I am taking loads of pics for you photo junkies. I miss reading your blogs too.!

April 01, 2005

Here Today, Gone To Maui

Our first destination the Kamaole Sands Resort in Kihei Maui 4-1 4-7 2005

We flew here today from Oahu. There was no room at the inn either at our home where the bed was packed the day of 3-31 or on all of the Big Island as the annual Merrie Monarch Hula festival is under way. So to get a hotel room we had to fly to Honolulu where we stayed at a place near the air port.

Woody and I have never been to Maui so we expect to really enjoy this adventure. We have a rental car and will put a lot of miles on it for sure. Maui is notorious for having huge traffic jams so we shall see if they compare to our recollections of LA traffic.


I wrote the above in advance in case all I could do was just post the photo. I am posting at a public koisk in the Aloha Airlines terminal in the Honolulu Airport. the keyboard is superior to any I have ever used before so I am flying so please bear with any mistakes!

The whole packing up and moving experience these last two days was about as tramatic as you could possibly imagine. I am not a very organized house keeper, and while we had gone through and gotten rid of tons of stuff there was still a huge amount to pack up. Woody and I were shocked at the bulk and realized that the 20 footer that we ordered was not going to cut it. So we got them to bring out a 40 foot ocena container and we bagan to load up.

There is so much moving on and off the island that the man power shortage on the moving trage is acute. We had maybe half of the people that we should have had and I did a lot of "supervised" packing. That means that the packer guy watched me then insured the good in my box. In professional moving, if you pack it not insured, if they pack it is insured. The crew cheif was a man Woody had met last year while working at the Naniloa Hotel as the consierge, Manu was a bell hop.

Well finaly, "the Marines landed" in the form of the loading crew that moved the store, showed up and things rolled. the only glitch was not having a seal for the can, but we were able to get one on and our worldly good leave for Port of Houston next week.

I am a nervious wreck. I am so thankful for Manu packing . I was amazed at the care that he took. I have 130 year old glasswear and china, ect and he treated it like his own...

Hale Pu'uhouna is vacant. I was very sad to see this and I did break down and cry in the gift shop in the Hilo airport. They had live coverage of the Hula competition at the Merrie monarch Festival and I was proud when I was able to say,Yes this is my home town and this is our moment in the world spotlight... No more. To tell people we are leaving brings out the best and the worst. \From encouragement to disappointment to verbage like" You sound bitter" a lady said that to Woody last night and he answered "Hell yes, Im bitter... this is killing my wife but starvation would have felt a heck of a lot worse"...

I smiled when he said this. He has said little to my face about how he feels about leaving so I got the message this way...

Honolulu was beautiful in the misty moonlight. This is a city that is everything LA dreams of being and more. Clean safe in the areas I have been in and the people really work at the "sharing the aloha" thing. We had a little hotel room at the Hawaii Polo Towers on Ala Moana at the top of Waikiki... Clean and nice but the bed was only a double and TINY! UGGH. We slept the sleep of the dead so weary from the whole packing thing.

The day brought us rainbows and blue skies. We are off to Maui like I said we have not been there and this was something that we really hoped to do before we left. We also were told that we can arrange a day trip to Molokai'i so we hope to do that.

I have down loaded photos, and I am taking pics so you can see this very different side of Hawaii. I am ever amazed at the beauty of this place, It blows me away every time.

Hale Pu'u honua- A Mele (Chant or spoken song)

Bamboo Orchids growing wild in our yard

Hale Pu'u honua~~~a mele of grief and farewell


This was the name that I gave
to our home here,
in the green desert,
House in a place of refuge
of safety...

How could I know
In those days of dreaming
That this would be
a foolish misnomer

My sanctuary from
The things I loved
the most to do...
For its impossible here
to be active in the rain

How could I know
that the very brooding
nature of this place
was toxic to our lives

My palace in the jungle
my peaceful dream home
became a place of want
and emptiness of soul
a loss of vision

How could I know
That we would learn
to communicate the local way
by yelling at each other.

Hale Pu'u honua
My hearts desire
Where the bamboo orchid
florishes among the
destroying lava flows

How could I know
that to the locals
that this four petaled
flower, signifies death

That is why I planted it
in and among
the stones of Puna
to signify the death
of my dream

How could I know
that Pu'u honua
is impossible here
amidst the lava flows...

I Will Always Love You....

I decided to go down to the "End of the road" which is the bottom of the main drag in our subdivision. Due to some violent crimes being commited and unstable land near the cliff faces, Woody didnt want me to go down there alone but alone is when I feel the closest to this place and it deserved a private good bye...

I wrote that Mele but like all jilted lovers it conveys only the wounded part of my heart... There is that other part that is alive and was waiting to say good bye...

Hawaii is a State of Mind,and of heart, you know...

Approching Showers. A band of rain comes thundering through Puna is seen here in the distance. Taken at the bottom of Kahakai blvd on the Red Road This is where the name Wide Blue Seas came from as I would sit in my car on this cliff and view the Pacific Ocean, plan my business and revel in my Hawaii experience. I would say to myself..."as long as I have this, I can get through anything....

As things have turned out this was not the case.

After the Tempest. This lovely cloudscape appeared after the rain.

As the waves kept rolling in, I found my self finally starting to cry...

and in time with the breakers say

I will always love you.... I will always love you...

Moana ke Aloha, the seas that I love