June 05, 2009

Living in Fourth Day

Spring Rainbow Centerton AR

The message of the First Day on The Walk to Emmaus was the Grace of God, each Talk, while focusing on different themes, helped you understand how God's Grace works and how you could be a more fruitful person by opening yourself up to God's grace.

The Second Day is is often called the Jesus Day. Jesus is presented as a model for your life and living, through the various talks and acts of Agape. You are invited at that point to make a deeper commitment to Him.

The Third Day or the Sending Forth Day You are challenged to adopt the the vocation as a Christian, to be Christ in the World, through the adoption of various practices disciplines and commitments to a life of piety and devotion, persevering in that life until we are united with Him eternally.

Until then, we live in Fourth Day... It is the journey of faith that continues the rest of one's life. It is the living out of what it means to be a disciple and follower of Jesus. It is about being real, being accountable and being willing to trust Him in all things...

Drawn from the book "Day Four... The Pilgrim's Continued Journey", by Robert Wood Chapter four "The Message of Emmaus"...

Pastor David..."So Hoku, where are you living now?"
Hokulea... "I'm living in Fourthday..."
Pastor David..."Thats a great answer..." he gave me a weak, weary smile, turned and walked away to his vacated office...

I am being called brave, courageous, a living saint even... I kid you not, but really all I am is a very frightened woman, who has been in some very bad spots at times in her life, but the one she is in now is pretty darn bad. But the truth is, I cant stay long faced for too long, it causes me to get wrinkles that are un needed and unwanted.... Staying down leads to a negative energy that will ruin any chance that I have to turn my life around. Even though things are as bad as I have ever had in my life... I need to smile and be glad for what I do have.

I have my health. People say I never looked better. I have my sobriety. I dont talk much about it because I was never a true alchoholic or addict, but rather I made a chioce that these things were not for me and I choose daily to live, feel and experience pain rather than numb it with addiction... I have a great home that I really want to hang onto. I have my Abigail... the cutest little mutt-let a gal could ever want. I have a good vehicle, skills in demand. I have opportunities I can at least apply for. I had lady call me to help her and is paying me by the hour, another gal got wind of a part time job that while doesnt pay much, exposes me to the sorts of people that may have a need for a person on their staff. Agencies are aware of the need to get me something and resumes are out there... I have a huge number... hundreds of people praying for me, and dozens of people who have committed to being there for me. I am obligated to call anyone of them if I feel too overwhelmed...and yes it it pretty overwhelming at times...

I know that if I dont get work soon I must make some very hard choices, some that might be pretty disagreeable, but I need to do it. I am holding out hope that I will get some work and that I will get to stay on here. In the mean time I am cleaning out, throwing out and selling items Im not using....Im getting ready for a move...and if I dont need to move, my load is lighter and my purse is fuller.

Should I get work it will postpone moving, but not take it off of the table until I feel secure in that position. This could be a while considering how things are in this world. I may need to move into a cheaper abode no matter what.

But until I know anything I will try my best to stay in Fourth day. That means not being overly concerned about the future... Plan yes but dont obsess...cry yes but get up and do something. Tell people what your needs are so they can gain the blessing of helping you, but tell Jesus as well... Prayer, the Word and worship... I sing all of the time, pray all of the time, and want to put God in charge of everything that I do...

When its all said and done... Wither I look back on this while living in NW Arkansas Texas or wherever, I will praise God for bringing me through... In my house, or living in a new place, living with friends or my family... I know that God is with me and has not left me. I write this to remind myself of this true thing. Yes there will be down days, days that feel hopeless, depressing days... But there are also ecstatic days, days full of promise and days filled with hope... I laugh a lot, hug the puppy and hope that the next phone call will be the one I have been waiting for...

Keep praying people... something is about to happen I just feel it...

De Colores!

Labels: Abigail, Dreams, Emmaus, Faith, working