January 30, 2010

Turning The Corner

Glowing lights in the snow...Peartree cottage Metfield Bella Vista AR

Im living in a winter wonderland. Over 36 hours we had about a foot of snow here. Not a record but enough to really mess things up for driving and the like. I have been housebound for several days, and have enjoyed the quiet time

I have had a wonderful turn of events. After several weeks of prayer, interviews, hopes then dispair of not hearing an offer of employment was made to me by a local transportation company. I am working as a driver manager on the swing shift 430 pm to midnight 5 days a week, then one 10 hour saturday every four weeks. Its a longer drive than most people would make here but it being off hours, it is not a problem for me. The compensation is good, and the insurance is very good. I was so grateful that when I got the message from the HR guy I literally passed out... I came to on the couch a few minutes later I was so relieved and released from the stress of wondering what was going to happen to me...

Its a interesting place, there are a number of people there that I know, but none of them are the reason I got this job. Its was totally a matter of Gods hand guiding this and frankly I see it as ideal...My transition into the work group has been a touch awkward but nothing I cant handle. I am the only women on the shift and that has made for interesting moments... They dont have a training manual and dont really know what to do. The computer is counter intuative (AS400 based) I have been there a week and have had only 30 minute of computer time and perhaps can answer the phone. Ive been told not to worry about it, the man that is responsible for training me said it was three months or so before he felt that he had it down

The storm this week caused me to leave early on thursday and not go in on friday as the roads were so bad. Im told this will not have a negative impact on my job retention. I was worried because I dont want to be perceived as a wimp, however I cant afford an accident and to damage my van. The ice layer on my van was nearly 2 inches thick at 9 pm so they boosted me out as soon as we were able to chemically melt the ice off my windshield, it took me over two hours to drive the thirty miles home

I feel very differently from the way I did even three weeks ago. The sense of relief, and the ability to start to think about my future is incredible. I can start to address my way past due bills, and the now defunct contract to buy this house. I have no desire to move closer to my job like many of co workers, especially with enjoying the beauty of the snowfall...its worth the inconvienience of bad weather and the drive late at night. So I am praying about buying the house I am currently living in. I will be able to afford it eventually

Working at night has many advantages not just the easier drive. I love being able to awaken naturally in the mornings, to be able to have time for prayer and meditation, walks with Abigail...(weather permitting)and the morning Al Anon meeting on fridays...My days are relaxed and natural so my stress level is so much lower even though I still had first week jitters.

All of the evening activities like RCIA are going by the by. I am meeting with Msgr Scott to finalized the date for my First Confession, which will be different than the rest of the class as I will be coming during the day... again I like the idea that I will be able to take my time and do this right, I have been waiting for this for a long time.

Im also having to give up my home group Al Anon meeting, and a few other activities but again it is really a small trade off

I feel like I have exhaled and turned the corner. I will never take a job for granted and never take the fact that I have a job and am taking care of myself, means that someone else isnt really trying. My choices wont be based on the needs of another but on what I need. I fear that I have a big decision coming that will be hard for some to accept, but I will pray it through and then do what I think is best

I heard a song today that sums up where I have been in this last year and where I want to go on to

Hands

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken

We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

Jewel

Im grateful to God for His provision I missed neither a meal for want of food nor appointment for want of gas. I sold a great many things but nothing I cant live without. I am so glad, so thankful for all of your prayers and support.


Swathed in snow Peartree Cottage

Labels: Breaking News, Pear Tree Cottage, Poem, working