May 10, 2010
All of the News
A Dogwood Cloud Bella Vista AR
Again one thousand pardons for the long silence. My life is full Full Full Full and that is a very good thing. I also chose to take a sort of fast on all things computer including Facebook and blogging, and realize just how much time I have been investing in these past times… I also haven’t been watching as much tv either preferring to read and crochet in my spare time….But… All is well in 100 Acre Wood, and I will try to catch you all up on all of the news…
First I have posted some back posts on my Reception into the Catholic Church. I feel very different. When I think about the emptiness in my heart I try to remember that God not only resides within me spiritually but now physically in the form of the Blessed Sacrament. There are still some very hard times…as you will read but there are so many more good times that I just cant begin to count and I am so very grateful to God for this change in my life. I still have dark moments times when I feel like there is this oppressive darkness overshadowing me. I realize that I have to have time to do the grieving of a lifetime. It just takes time
Just before Easter I had a physical challenge unlike anything I have experienced in my life. As you might remember my teeth are really my great physical weakness. I am always having issues with them and with not having insurance it makes it very difficult to deal with. My dentist has been very kind, often seeing me for no charge or a very reduced fee. Two years ago before I left for Louisville I had a bunch of dental work done, one tooth was decayed up into the roots, the dentist cleaned it out and filled it and all seemed well with it, until it started bothering me around Christmas time. I went to see the dentist and we didn’t see anything.
Well the rotten tooth reared its ugly head and roared! I woke up one morning to the worst pain I have ever felt in my life… a screaming twisting pain that came in waves and left me feeling like I was going to have a heart attack. I got to the dentist that day. By the time I got into the dentist to see him I was swollen up from the top of my scalp clear down my left side of my face to my shoulders. My temperature was 103. The x rays showed the decay was back and that the whole tooth was infected, as was my jaw and all of the glands in the region. I was very very ill,… falling down ill for the first day or so. He prescribed antibiotics and Vicodin for the pain. He wanted me to stay home in bed, However I dragged myself to work every night, dosed myself on heavy drugs and kept on. The Antibiotics did their work and I had the tooth pulled a week later. It couldn’t be done any sooner because disturbing it would have sent infection up into my brain. My brain was already infected and had I had insurance I would have been hospitalized. My head was throbbing constantly and eating was impossible without feeling like I was going to just cave from the pain…
Finally I called in and arranged to have the surgery done. I had been on antibiotics for 5 days and the dentist thought that it would be ok to go ahead and pull it. He numbed me up but it still felt like my face exploded when he pulled it out. After the initial shock of it all, I was amazed at how much relief I felt once the tooth was pulled out, there was copious bleeding, but that let up in a few hours and the swelling and pain subsided right away. After months of discomfort and at times downright misery the relief was a Godsend. Its been good to be able to eat hot and cold things again and my diet is improving now. Cold fruits and salads no longer kill me, and hopefully my weight will start to drop again.
Work has been going very well. I still have a lot to learn but the managers are very kind and they praise me for my diligence and attention… The drivers love me and call in sometimes just to talk. I feel for these men and women. They are the backbone of this country and the most forgotten necessary workers we have in our economy. Like our soldiers, they are away from home for long periods of time. They are lonely sad and tired. Many have chosen this life as a last resort. I know two men who came to this occupation from homelessness. The truck provided work and a place to sleep at night. My heart goes out to them, when they say how they need to get home…their wives and children need to see them. I agree, but this is a trucker’s lot. I treat them like the soldiers that they are. I remind them that they chose this life and I try to find out where they are from. And quickly look up the unemployment figures for their town. Of ten just the reminder of the horrible job market where they came from is enough to get them to count their blessings and go forward. It certainly is enough for me, this small daily reminder. I count my blessings every day thanking God and my employer for my job.
I have finalized a lot of things. I had my court appearance for my Bankruptcy and it was approved. The Trustee had a few questions about my business and my timeshares in Florida that I am giving back to the Owners Association. All was well and he was satisfied with the presentation. I still have to take the on line finance course and it will discharge in July. It’s a relief to have this off of my back.
With my confirmation I am looking for ways to integrate with my new church. I go to Mass on Saturday evenings, and on Sunday mornings if I work the day before…My Saturday shift is once every four weeks and is grueling, so often I don’t even get up to get to Mass. Its excused as often I am so weary I am wobbling from fatigue. I keep the Sabbath and stay home with Abigail. Monsignor Scott is very supportive and is just glad that I seem to be so happy about my decision and I am.
He has a project that he wants me to work on and that is to prepare to tell my conversion story to the next RCIA class. Because they meet at night and I work at night we have thought about doing this by video recording in the talk show news magazine style a la The Journey Home, a show that runs on EWTN weekly that tells conversion stories with a call in question and answer format. We wont have an audience but I can trust that Msgr will have some good questions. I don’t know when I will do this but I thought that I would start working on the scripting as I can
I have also injected a creative venue into my life that is very new and a great opportunity. I have wanted to learn to crochet. I have wanted to do this for a long time, but never really just taken the plunge and tried it. So in January I bought some yarn and a book and gave it a whirl. Not so hot… Well on my way to the lawyers office I saw this place called the Crafty Cottage
. They offer all sorts of crafts, knitting, crocheting, leather and pottery work, sewing and quilting. I called and got set up with a private instructor, a wonderful young mother named Tammy, who is patient and sweet and great at showing me the basics and allowing me the chance to make mistakes and learn. Its taking me time to learn. I missed a few weeks and found that I had forgotten much of what I had learned. She said “never mind!” and we started up again. Its my hope that we will get to a place where I can follow a pattern and make things for the holidays. I started by making a not quite round bright yellow ball for Abi which she loves… she also loves the balls of yarn and enjoys watching me crochet and wants to “help”. She really likes to sneek into my bag and fish out the spare balls of practice yarn and run about with them . This studio has all sorts of opportunities for me to try new things and I intend to take advantage as I have time.
Speaking of Abigail she has had some changes too. She was having lots of issues with her skin and coat, her pretty hair matting into a tease that my big hair girl friends would envy. She looked fat from the knots, and was becoming afraid of me, because when I would pet her I would try to pick at least one knot out. I was brushing, trimming, spraying no tangle stuff on her to no avail. Finally I had her shaved…to the skin. Just her pretty tail and top knot are left….Once she was freed from the mass of hair she was…tiny…maybe even underweight, and she became an even more outgoing, cuddly, loving dog. Everyone around me has noticed the change in her. She enjoys her walks more and I think is not so hot from trapped body heat. Its been almost 6 weeks since her “makeover” and the new growth is curly so she looks and feels like a little lamb, very soft and sweet…I will let the fur grow longer in the winter but I will likely not keep her in full coat again. Its just so time consuming to keep her grooming up that way and my little “wash and wear” doggie is a delight. I no longer worry if she wants to get in the mud, or if its wet out we just go walking and we go further and have more fun. If shes too dirty I take her in the shower with me once we get home from our walking trip…easy… She seems pleased with the change, though I got the distinct impression that she felt “nekked” for the first few days.
The beauty of this spring time has made my evening drives to work pleasant. Flowers and flowering trees are blooming everywhere. I have gotten the urge to plant things and have a few flower pots in my front yard. My drives to work and church are lovely pastoral journeys, that make me calm and only add to the feeling that life is very good. I have repaired my van, and when I have the time later on this summer, I hope to take road trips around the area and see things that I haven’t seen yet…
There is a fullness, a contentedness that I have not had before and I love this time I have for myself It is bliss and I am so happy about it .
Was it worth the long wait as I was job hunting?…yes. Like my pastor friend said “ When God closes one door He opens another…its just hell in the hallway…” and yes it was…But the worse days are behind me, the gentle successes is easing the lines off of my face and the soreness out of my heart. Life is good, very good at Peartree Cottage. Thank you for your prayers… they have been answered
Labels: Abigail, Bella Vista, working