January 30, 2005

Remember The Heros

Peaceful Wailoa Park

We all need heros... people to look up to. This week in light of momenteous events in diverse places I will submit to you the Bible's Hero's rollcall... these people inspire me...


Hebrews Chapter 11.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
For by it the men of old gained approval.
By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible.
By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still speaks.
By faith Enoch was taken up so that he would not see death; AND HE WAS NOT FOUND BECAUSE GOD TOOK HIM UP; for he obtained the witness that before his being taken up he was pleasing to God.
And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
By faith Noah, being warned by God about things not yet seen, in reverence prepared an ark for the salvation of his household, by which he condemned the world, and became an heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.
By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going.
By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise;
for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had promised.
Therefore there was born even of one man, and him as good as dead at that, as many descendants AS THE STARS OF HEAVEN IN NUMBER, AND INNUMERABLE AS THE SAND WHICH IS BY THE SEASHORE.
All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.
For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own.
And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return.
But as it is, they desire a better country that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.
By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was offering up his only begotten son
it was he to whom it was said, IN ISAAC YOUR DESCENDANTS SHALL BE CALLED.
He considered that God is able to raise {people} even from the dead, from which he also received him back as a type.
By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau, even regarding things to come.
By faith Jacob, as he was dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph, and worshiped, leaning on the top of his staff.
By faith Joseph, when he was dying, made mention of the exodus of the sons of Israel, and gave orders concerning his bones.
By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king's edict.
By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter,
choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin,
considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward.
By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured, as seeing Him who is unseen.
By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of the blood, so that he who destroyed the firstborn would not touch them.
By faith they passed through the Red Sea as though they were passing through dry land; and the Egyptians, when they attempted it, were drowned.
By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled for seven days.
By faith Rahab the harlot did not perish along with those who were disobedient, after she had welcomed the spies in peace.
And what more shall I say? For time will fail me if I tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets,
who by faith conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions,
quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight.
Women received back their dead by resurrection; and others were tortured, not accepting their release, so that they might obtain a better resurrection;
and others experienced mockings and scourgings, yes, also chains and imprisonment.
They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated
men of whom the world was not worthy, wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground.
And all these, having gained approval through their faith, did not receive what was promised,
because God had provided something better for us, so that apart from us they would not be made perfect.

Living in the Now

Wave break at Seaview

For the last few days
my life has been simplier...

I am living in the now,
for that is all I have time to do...

Strength to do

I feel somewhat like
the wave in the photo...

Beautiful and strong...
until I crash into the rocks...

Which I keep doing again and again...

Only God knows
how this will end...

But for now I will contend
only with the rocks

of today...

January 28, 2005

Waiting and Looking

between heaven and earth- the palms at the gates of the Seaview colony

Its photos like this that make me cry. It is my hope that we will be out in the boonies where I will have stunning visuals like this to enjoy.

Well we are able to see some photos of these homes and some are out of the running


Conroe Texas 10 acre HouseMSL 7875843 no photo of the house but I LOVE the back yard....mfg home I dont care about that so much but do we have water power and most importantly high speed internet... we all have our priorities

Conroe Texas~ Family House I like this house its bigger than I thought Id like but it has all the stuff I want and I like the pond in the back No Longer available

Conroe Texas~Mystery House MLS 2423419 Notice the huge sign on the front gate? We dont know what that is, or have any idea what is inside. The huge back deck is a plus
This is a nice house and for the 102K price a steal. I just wish it wasnt in a tract. Comes furnished and is ready to lower price for us to buy it...Woody is thinking to buy it for a rental if nothing else...Woody's #1


Conroe Texas~ The "Please give my Kitchen an Extreme Makeover" House Woody really likes this one...It is a great deal but huge and the Bubble Gum Pink Kitchen walls must go before I spend a night in the place...I will be ill if I have to cook in there! This place has been flooded 3 times and was repaired without permits. Forgeddaboutit!

Conroe Texas~ Casa GrandeHuge but Woody likes it. I want to see the inside first Not available and was flooded last spring dont buy'em too close to the river here...

Conroe Texas~ Blind Date MLS1021341 I think I am in love but Ive not seen this yet... Im concerned that we arent getting enough land but I love the house, love the real brick floors and the high ceilings and how clean and WHITE it is no fancy stuff... Im Amish plain when it comes to decorations...

Eureka Springs Arkansas~ River View Bluff House and the "Lake View Bluff Home" Both houses are still available


Here is the buyer report with more photos of ones that are in the running. Some are not listed in the post but all are under consideration...These agents also have this one.MLS 6140094 I think its too "farmy" and too far out there, but it comes with its own tractor that could be useful

Put up "Going Out of Business" signs and people are comming in... I did quite a bit of business today. I so hope that we get more and more as time passes. We have one more month. may have a buyer for Woody's car we shall see how that goes.

January 27, 2005

There Is No Pit So Deep That Gods Love Is Not Deeper Still

Tramp for the Lord. Corrie Ten Boom arriving for a speaking engagement 1970's

There is no pit so deep that Gods love is not deeper still

Corrie ten Boom, Ravensbruck Concentration Camp 1944

In honor of the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, many in my readership community are participating in a "Blogburst" please take the time and read about this very important even in the history of our world. Each year, we lose more and more of those that were a part of these events We need to tell and retell these stories to the future generations so that this horror will not repeat itsself on the earth...

I know the story know of the horror...but do not feel qualified to be a part of the blogburst, nor do I know if I would be welcome for I wouldnt write about the subject... I dont think that I know enough about the event that unfolded in those cold January days...But I know another story....Let me take you back about a month to another death camp in the heart of dying Germany...

"Follow me", a young girl in an officer's uniform said to me. I walked slowly through the gate, never looking back. Behind me I heard the hinges squeak as the gate swung shut. I was free, and flooding through my mind were the words of Jesus to the church at Philadelphia: Behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it . . . (Revelation 3:8)
On December 28, 1944, after ten months of incarceration in concentration camps, Corrie Ten Boom was free. She had lost her father and beloved sister to the horrors of Nazi death camps. Gaunt, filthy, and weak, Corrie made her way to the railway station and boarded a train for a three day journey home to Holland.
She later found out that an order had been given at the end of that very week to kill all women her age and older. An error in prison paperwork was the catalyst God used to release her.
The Ten Booms, all devout Christians, had provided a hiding place in their home for persecuted Jews during World War II. Corrie, who was fifty nine at the time of her arrest, was placed in an isolation cell for the first few weeks of her imprisonment. Depression and the struggle to maintain a sense of hope consumed her.
Only to those who have been in prison does freedom have such great meaning. When you are dying...when you stand at the gate of eternity...you see things from a different perspective than when you think you may live for a long time. I stood at the gate for many months, living in Barracks 28 in the shadow of the crematorium.
"Every time I saw the smoke pouring from the hideous smokestacks I knew it was the last remains of some poor woman who had been with me in Ravensbruck. Often I asked myself, When will it be my time to be killed or die?"
Corrie vowed if God allowed her to live, she would tell as many people as possible about the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. She also promised to go wherever He led. She miraculously obtained a small New Testament from a prison worker and smuggled it past guards.
"Before long we were holding clandestine Bible study groups for an evergrowing group of believers, and Barracks 28 became known throughout the camp as the crazy place, where they hope."
No one is exempt from the fiery trials of life. All of us face times of adversity and suffering. For Corrie, the concentration camp was the fieriest place of all, becoming her classroom where she lived and learned the faithfulness of God. It was there she learned the faithfulness of God. It was there she learned to hide her life under the shadow of His wings while He trained her for a much higher calling.
"The school of life offers some difficult courses, but it is in the difficult class that one learns the most especially when your teacher is the Lord Jesus Christ. The hardest lessons for me" wrote Corrie, "were in a cell with four walls. The cell in the prison at Scheveningen was six paces in length, two paces in breadth, with a door that could be opened only from the outside . . . After that time in prison, the entire world became my classroom."
God gave her a promise, telling her that she would reach far more people than she could imagine with the gospel message. For the next four decades following her release from prison, Corrie traveled extensively, speaking in more than sixty countries, captivating audiences with her inspiring faith and love for God. She is the author of nine books, one of which is The Hiding Place, a personal account of her arrest and time spent in prison. She also produced five films.
"God has plans...not problems...or our lives. Before she died in the concentration camp in Ravensbruck, my sister Betsie said to me, Corrie, your whole life has been a training for the work you are doing here in prison and for the work you will do afterward.
"The life of a Christian is an education for higher service. No athlete complains when the training is hard. He thinks of the game, or the race. (Romans 8:18-23)
"Looking back across the years of my life, I can see the working of a divine pattern which is the way of God with His children. When I was in a prison camp in Holland during the war, I often prayed, Lord, never let the enemy put me in a German concentration camp. God answered no to that prayer. Yet in the German camp, with all its horror, I found many prisoners who had never heard of Jesus Christ.
"If God had not used my sister Betsie and me to bring them to Him, they would never have heard of Him. Many died, or were killed, but many died with the name of Jesus on their lips. They were well worth all our suffering. Faith is like radar which sees through the fog...the reality of things at a distance that the human eye cannot see."
Perhaps you have been struggling with a fiery trial in your life. The pressure seems unbearable and there appears to be no way out. You may even be trapped in your own emotional prison. For Corrie Ten Boom the only place of refuge, the only place of hope, was within the shadow of God's wings. That is where our hope lies also. No matter what has touched your life, nothing is too big for Jesus Christ to handle.

I pulled this from the "Portraits of Great Christians" site because much of it is Ms. ten Boom's own words. We forget how many people did try to aid the persicuted during the Holocaust. I have met a number of Jewish people that didnt know this fact,and the film "Shindler's List" was a real eye opener..."Were there others?" I have been asked...and I retell this family's story of incredible courage. Elderly, respected throughout their community, they could have ridden out the war fixing watches and ignoring the cries for help, they did not and endured great suffering and loss. Yet through the lives that were saved in the secret room in their home and by the fearless testimony of Corrie and her sister Betsie, a legacy of faith and hope has emerged...

The prime objective of Corrie's work was reconcilliation. This began when a former Nazi guard came to one of her meetings and asked her forgivness for his cruelty to her and her sister in the camps. For a moment she said no in her heart, but God gave the inner strength to forgive fully. She began to speak on this. Neighbors, at odd over colaboration with the enemy forgave. As she traved the word spread... Americans forgave Japanese, later...Americans forgave Vietnamese...and families the world over have listened and resolved to do a better job of forgiving...

Links below. Take some reading time to learn about this facinating woman and her legacy of forgiveness.

Corrie Ten Boom:A Protestant Evangelical Response to the Nazi Persicution of the Jews

The Corrie ten Boom "Hiding Place" Museum great photos

The Holocaust Encyclopedia article

A Room of One's Own

Evening Surf


"So long as you write what you wish to write, that is all that matters; and whether it matters for ages or only for hours, nobody can say. But to sacrifice a hair of the head of your vision, a shade of its colour, in deference to some Headmaster with a silver pot in his hand or to some professor with a measuring-rod up his sleeve, is the most abject treachery, and the sacrifice of wealth and chastity, which used to be said to be the greatest of human disasters, a mere flea-bite in comparison."

Virginia Woolf, from "A Room of One's Own."

I have always had my own room. From early childhood till this day this has been the case. Its hard for people to understand my need for solitude, and for private space... I would hide in private spaces, preferring my own company... and now walk forest and field alone rather than with a companion, it is the way of the pilgrim... and would seem to be the calling that is on my life...

I also have found that self expression is like that room of one's own. Like Woolf said in the passage above... it is the secret place of the mind... But, for me, this is a relatively recent understanding. In the past 15 years I have found more ways to communicate who I am and the message that I feel that I am charged by my Creator to be bringing to the world than one would ever think...

Blogging with words that deliver the essence of my thought to this incredible worldwide medium, the internet and blogging with my camera to share with the world the wonders that I see through the eye of the lens...this is a marvel to me...

Its an even bigger wonder that you read it.

It will be in the next day or so that My Wide Blue Seas reaches the milestone of 10,000 hits. I am humbled and gratified...and truly grateful for the friends that use this as a means to "keep track" of me in my wanderings, and for the friends that I have met while engaging the Blogosphere. I so enjoy it and look forward to it as a major part of my day...catching up on your news as you read mine... Thank You for your love and support...A Hui Hou!

January 26, 2005

My Dream for Sale

Hale Pu'uhounua...For Sale...

Yes, I signed the papers and my home is now for sale. Woody actually said "thank God that's done...I cant wait to get the heck out of here..." The homocide count was nearly increased by one more haolie body, but I kept the rage in and said nothing... Woody must have known it instinctively, for he sugessted that we go right over to Kens pancake house and have dinner (at 4:30). I went and numbed myself out in a carbohydrate fit of the biggest pancake breakfast on the menu, complete with added mac nuts and the killer lillikoi (passion fruit) syrup. 6 bacons, a slice of ham, 2 eggs, and pancakes the size of dinner plates (3). I fell asleep in the car comming home...

We also stopped at Stacies Pet Shoppe and picked up one of the airline carriers to see if the reccomended size fits our big boy. The little fuzzball climbed into it like its a new sleeping box no problems and totally on his own. I praised Makoa, but in my heart I feel like he is as big a traitor as his Dad...

I have 10 more weeks...

January 24, 2005

eBay Nation

Cloudscape near Hilo

I am not a huge eBay-er. I have whiled away an afternoon looking at stuff that interests me and have bought a few things, some whimsical, like a bar of pretty soap that smells divine that was originally brought home by a lady in Chicago as a souvenir from Windsor castle. There is crazier stuff out there. I found this site courtesy of the "soul of the web" I guess you could call it a web ring but its a tad more complicated than that. This site called "Who Would Buy That" has some of the wackiest stuff you can imagine spotlighted (like deer in headlights)for the world to ponder. Im crazy and have bought some oddball things but....

Woody is more daring than myself having been house hunting for us on line and it has been very usefull to do a bit of comparison shopping long distance. We have found all sorts of homes all over that would suit, at least on a computer screen, but I really dont want to buy a home on line... However people are doing it here on the Big Island like crazy as it is nearly impossible to wait to take the time to fly out and look, there are too many people just waiiting to snap things up.

For your perusal here are some of the homes that we have been seriously looking at

North Little Rock, Arkansas

Cherokee Village Arkansas


Since most of the listings that we were shopping were deleated last night by Woody the midnight eBayer....here are a few more on Realator.com, which is, undeniably, about as wacky as buying a house off eBay.As I said in previous posts, all of our houses get a nick name so we can tell them apart...

Conroe Texas 10 acre House no photo of the house but I LOVE the back yard

Conroe Texas~ Family House I like this house its bigger than I thought Id like but it has all the stuff I want and I like the pond in the back

Conroe Texas~Mystery House Notice the huge sign on the front gate? We dont know what that is, or have any idea what is inside. The huge back deck is a plus

Conroe Texas~ The "Please give my Kitchen an Extreme Makeover" House Woody really likes this one...It is a great deal but huge and the Bubble Gum Pink Kitchen walls must go before I spend a night in the place...I will be ill if I have to cook in there!

Conroe Texas~ Casa GrandeHuge but Woody likes it. I want to see the inside first

Conroe Texas~ Blind Date I think I am in love but Ive not seen this yet...

Eureka Springs Arkansas~ River View Bluff House and the "Lake View Bluff Home"

I would leave Hawaii and never look back... The views are killer...Now... about work in the area???

On the negative side of internet shopping you can buy a pig in a poke... the darling home on Camanche street in Montgomery TX.that we have been looking at.. the deal may be fatally flawed legally so we are closing the door on that for the time being. There are too many issues to work out long distance, and all would impeed a loan going through so we need to leave it alone for now...Had we not kept asking questions we might have been stuck with a huge tax liability as well as having to redig the septic system... Ugh!


My biggest eBay purchases have been of the jewelry line. eBay is the way the worlds jewelers get rid of their "dogs". Jewelry that has sat in the case more than a few seasons and needs to turn, and the other alternative is selling it to a smelter,to be melted down, which most of us can't stand the thought of... The super salesman in our business, Shane Decker, says of "dogs"..."There are no dogs, after all someone thought enough of the piece to have made it, then a manufacturer thought enough of it to produce it and your store buyer thought enough of it to buy it for your store so who are you the salesman to knock it with such a term...Get out there and sell the heck out of those none movers." Nice try Shane, and he is the best sales trainer I've seen yet in any biz (the article I linked for this is on another important topic, why jewelers are losing their shirts on their margins, and not able to keep their doors open... There are many more reasons than what he is stating and its a very complex issue, but for those of you in sales he's got great tips on closing...)

But I digress, eBay allowed me to find some real gems, literally, and was very good for my business. One was this adorable line called Twinflies. The company is family run in Hong Kong and is very high on craftsmanship and low on price, and we sold a ton of their things. We were the only retail store perhaps in the world to carry them as a full line product and it really gave them a lift to see that their product was well received. I am hoping that Phoenix Rising, perhaps the only jewelry/gift store that will be left on Waianuenue as of the end of next month...along with Azure Seas, Puakenikeni Passions, a shop run by a friend of mine, is closing and the venerable Hawaii e Ohana Gallery is considering it...to take their business fully on line, you guessed it, on eBay where they are making a profit on their Hawaiiana antiques and local art. Randy and Gordon, the proprietors are also thinking about becoming a eBay dealer like the people that are selling my stock for me. Its sad to think that all of us that had hopes of really revitalizing Downtown Hilo have just run out of money and energy... I dont feel so badly as its not just me...

Mya and Lucas of Teknoranger/Island Auction Pros now have a bunch of my things from the store on line, and we have already had a purchase of my "lot" of sterio equipment. My huge Sony rack system that I didnt feel would bear another trip across the ocean blue was bought by one of the young people that works with Mya. I was glad to sell it. I have about 100 items with them and we shall see how things go. I am very hopeful that these things which are nice but were overlooked by people shopping at my store will get picked up on auction.

There are up sides and down sides to all of this. I know that the up side for many people is the selling of usefull things that one just doesnt have a need for anymore. Take my friend and fellow blogger John Bailey of "Journal of a Writing Man" He has gotten rid of scores of items that he doesnt use...

I took the plunge and bought something that should be a big help to us in the comming days, from a lady that bought it and found to her dismay that the thing didnt work for her...Yes I am entering into the more advanced information age and bought a diary that also works as a electronic leash Its my hope that I will be able to get both the phone and the wireless internet up and going prior to losing acess to my computers sometime in early march, when they are packed up for shipment to Houston. I feel I still have much to learn about the whole wireless internet thing...Gads, I barely understand the wired up Internet World. I will keep you informed as to how I get along with my new electronic companion. If it works hald as well as my digital camera than I shall be pleased!

January 23, 2005

Streams in the Desert

Streams in the Green Desert... The falls above Boiling Pots



Isaiah 35

The wilderness and the desert will be glad, And the Arabah will rejoice and blossom, Like the crocus

It will blossom profusely And rejoice with rejoicing and shout of joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, The majesty of Carmel and Sharon. They will see the glory of the LORD, The majesty of our God.

Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble.

Say to those with anxious heart, "Take courage, fear not. Behold, your God will come with vengeance, The recompense of God will come, But He will save you."

Then the eyes of the blind will be opened And the ears of the deaf will be unstopped.

Then the lame will leap like a deer, And the tongue of the mute will shout for joy. For waters will break forth in the wilderness And streams in the Arabah.

The scorched land will become a pool And the thirsty ground springs of water, In the haunt of jackals, its resting place, Grass becomes reeds and rushes.

A highway will be there, a roadway, And it will be called the Highway of Holiness. The unclean will not travel on it, But it {will} be for him who walks {that} way, And fools will not wander {on it.}

No lion will be there, Nor will any vicious beast go up on it, These will not be found there. But the redeemed will walk there.

And the ransomed of the LORD will return And come with joyful shouting to Zion, With everlasting joy upon their heads. They will find gladness and joy, And sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Ka Nani's Words of Wisdom...On Stress

You know I have to tell you all out there in Blogger land that Mom and Dad are really stressing out over this moving thing, what ever that is. I dont know what to do except lick them and set a good example...

just take a nice bath...Be thorough... do your claws too if you have the energy...

then get into a comfy deck chair on the lanai...and have a long nap...Napping is the most important part of a sensible cat's day...well eating too... both can go a long way towords reducing stress... Why cant humans get with it? The world would just be a better place with more sleeping boxes for everybody!

January 21, 2005

The Best Laid Plans

The lava flow...Over hwy 130 near what was Kalapana

I wonder what the people that owned the lands that you see in this photo were thinking... I know one couple that are retirement age, they own land near here that is under 25 ft of lava...They had planned to build a cottage on the beach and retire here...That was before the volcano destroyed this most beautiful beach in all of Hawaii...and before the volcano of change destroyed their once thriving shoe store in the Bay Area, leaving them bankrupt. They now work 60 hour weeks here running a pair of jewelry stores for a off shore owner...No retirement ever for them.

How does one deal with such a catastrophic change?

I think we all have our ways of doing this... I have finally nailed down and booked Mak and Nani's "airline reservations" ie cargo space...Continental seems to have the highest rated pet shipping arrangements going. Lucky we are flying them as well. While talking to the " Live Animal Desk " in Houston I asked the guy "Hey what happens to my cats once I give them to you. He replied. "Well they are taken in a climate controlled van (while in their travel containers) to the plane and hand loaded into the front cargo area. It is pressurized and climate controlled...but its dark...Not as noisy as regular cargo...We actually have taken video of the area during flights and once the plane takes off, they settle down and go to sleep and most sleep through the whole flight till landing...then they are taken out to Live Animal receiving... We take as good a care of them as we can...but they are all pretty happy to be done with this flying stuff and back with Mom and Dad..."

I found this comforting...There are some logistical hangup most of which are caused by TSA and Homeland Security but I dont kick against that system and we are getting around it all by changing our flight to Honolulu and getting there plenty early... I do worry but it cant be helped and Id be more upset if we had to leave them here to an uncertain future... People are just not too caring about their animals here.

I wish I could sleep all through the trauma,like the cats on the plane. In fact Im sure that they will as that is what they do best...Sleep! That would be the easiest way for me too, I guess. But that is not allowed, One has to hang on and get through it. I know I will be white knuckling it for the kitty babies the whole 12 hours or so between tendering them and picking them up.

We may have someone that wants to buy much of our household furniture. I need to sell it and am somewhat sad as this was the nicest stuff I've ever had and dont feel I've even broken it in. Letting go is hard, I never thought that I would have to.

This was not how I planned it, but I know it is the right thing all the way through...

January 20, 2005

Proclaim Liberty...

The section of the Berlin Wall that stands as a monument to the vision that all people have the right to be free...Ronald Reagan Presidential Library...Simi Vally CA



...Proclaim liberty throughout all the land to all its inhabitants....
Leviticus 25:10


President Bush's inauguration speech, 2005


Vice President Cheney, Mr. Chief Justice, President Carter, President Bush, President Clinton, reverend clergy, distinguished guests, fellow citizens:

On this day, prescribed by law and marked by ceremony, we celebrate the durable wisdom of our Constitution, and recall the deep commitments that unite our country. I am grateful for the honor of this hour, mindful of the consequential times in which we live, and determined to fulfill the oath that I have sworn and you have witnessed.



We have seen our vulnerability - and we have seen its deepest source. For as long as whole regions of the world simmer in resentment and tyranny - prone to ideologies that feed hatred and excuse murder - violence will gather, and multiply in destructive power, and cross the most defended borders, and raise a mortal threat. There is only one force of history that can break the reign of hatred and resentment, and expose the pretensions of tyrants, and reward the hopes of the decent and tolerant, and that is the force of human freedom.

We are led, by events and common sense, to one conclusion: The survival of liberty in our land increasingly depends on the success of liberty in other lands. The best hope for peace in our world is the expansion of freedom in all the world.

America's vital interests and our deepest beliefs are now one. From the day of our Founding, we have proclaimed that every man and woman on this earth has rights, and dignity, and matchless value, because they bear the image of the Maker of Heaven and earth. Across the generations we have proclaimed the imperative of self-government, because no one is fit to be a master, and no one deserves to be a slave. Advancing these ideals is the mission that created our Nation. It is the honorable achievement of our fathers. Now it is the urgent requirement of our nation's security, and the calling of our time.

So it is the policy of the United States to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world.

This is not primarily the task of arms, though we will defend ourselves and our friends by force of arms when necessary. Freedom, by its nature, must be chosen, and defended by citizens, and sustained by the rule of law and the protection of minorities. And when the soul of a nation finally speaks, the institutions that arise may reflect customs and traditions very different from our own. America will not impose our own style of government on the unwilling. Our goal instead is to help others find their own voice, attain their own freedom, and make their own way.

The great objective of ending tyranny is the concentrated work of generations. The difficulty of the task is no excuse for avoiding it. America's influence is not unlimited, but fortunately for the oppressed, America's influence is considerable, and we will use it confidently in freedom's cause.

My most solemn duty is to protect this nation and its people against further attacks and emerging threats. Some have unwisely chosen to test America's resolve, and have found it firm.

We will persistently clarify the choice before every ruler and every nation: The moral choice between oppression, which is always wrong, and freedom, which is eternally right. America will not pretend that jailed dissidents prefer their chains, or that women welcome humiliation and servitude, or that any human being aspires to live at the mercy of bullies.

We will encourage reform in other governments by making clear that success in our relations will require the decent treatment of their own people. America's belief in human dignity will guide our policies, yet rights must be more than the grudging concessions of dictators; they are secured by free dissent and the participation of the governed. In the long run, there is no justice without freedom, and there can be no human rights without human liberty.

Some, I know, have questioned the global appeal of liberty - though this time in history, four decades defined by the swiftest advance of freedom ever seen, is an odd time for doubt. Americans, of all people, should never be surprised by the power of our ideals. Eventually, the call of freedom comes to every mind and every soul. We do not accept the existence of permanent tyranny because we do not accept the possibility of permanent slavery. Liberty will come to those who love it.

Today, America speaks anew to the peoples of the world:

All who live in tyranny and hopelessness can know: the United States will not ignore your oppression, or excuse your oppressors. When you stand for your liberty, we will stand with you.

Democratic reformers facing repression, prison, or exile can know: America sees you for who you are: the future leaders of your free country.

The rulers of outlaw regimes can know that we still believe as Abraham Lincoln did: "Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves; and, under the rule of a just God, cannot long retain it."

The leaders of governments with long habits of control need to know: To serve your people you must learn to trust them. Start on this journey of progress and justice, and America will walk at your side.

And all the allies of the United States can know: we honor your friendship, we rely on your counsel, and we depend on your help. Division among free nations is a primary goal of freedom's enemies. The concerted effort of free nations to promote democracy is a prelude to our enemies' defeat.

Today, I also speak anew to my fellow citizens:

From all of you, I have asked patience in the hard task of securing America, which you have granted in good measure. Our country has accepted obligations that are difficult to fulfill, and would be dishonorable to abandon. Yet because we have acted in the great liberating tradition of this nation, tens of millions have achieved their freedom. And as hope kindles hope, millions more will find it. By our efforts, we have lit a fire as well - a fire in the minds of men. It warms those who feel its power, it burns those who fight its progress, and one day this untamed fire of freedom will reach the darkest corners of our world.

A few Americans have accepted the hardest duties in this cause - in the quiet work of intelligence and diplomacy ... the idealistic work of helping raise up free governments ... the dangerous and necessary work of fighting our enemies. Some have shown their devotion to our country in deaths that honored their whole lives - and we will always honor their names and their sacrifice.

All Americans have witnessed this idealism, and some for the first time. I ask our youngest citizens to believe the evidence of your eyes. You have seen duty and allegiance in the determined faces of our soldiers. You have seen that life is fragile, and evil is real, and courage triumphs. Make the choice to serve in a cause larger than your wants, larger than yourself - and in your days you will add not just to the wealth of our country, but to its character.

America has need of idealism and courage, because we have essential work at home - the unfinished work of American freedom. In a world moving toward liberty, we are determined to show the meaning and promise of liberty.

In America's ideal of freedom, citizens find the dignity and security of economic independence, instead of laboring on the edge of subsistence. This is the broader definition of liberty that motivated the Homestead Act, the Social Security Act, and the G.I. Bill of Rights. And now we will extend this vision by reforming great institutions to serve the needs of our time. To give every American a stake in the promise and future of our country, we will bring the highest standards to our schools, and build an ownership society. We will widen the ownership of homes and businesses, retirement savings and health insurance - preparing our people for the challenges of life in a free society. By making every citizen an agent of his or her own destiny, we will give our fellow Americans greater freedom from want and fear, and make our society more prosperous and just and equal.

In America's ideal of freedom, the public interest depends on private character - on integrity, and tolerance toward others, and the rule of conscience in our own lives. Self-government relies, in the end, on the governing of the self. That edifice of character is built in families, supported by communities with standards, and sustained in our national life by the truths of Sinai, the Sermon on the Mount, the words of the Koran, and the varied faiths of our people. Americans move forward in every generation by reaffirming all that is good and true that came before - ideals of justice and conduct that are the same yesterday, today, and forever.

In America's ideal of freedom, the exercise of rights is ennobled by service, and mercy, and a heart for the weak. Liberty for all does not mean independence from one another. Our nation relies on men and women who look after a neighbor and surround the lost with love. Americans, at our best, value the life we see in one another, and must always remember that even the unwanted have worth. And our country must abandon all the habits of racism, because we cannot carry the message of freedom and the baggage of bigotry at the same time.

From the perspective of a single day, including this day of dedication, the issues and questions before our country are many. From the viewpoint of centuries, the questions that come to us are narrowed and few. Did our generation advance the cause of freedom? And did our character bring credit to that cause?

These questions that judge us also unite us, because Americans of every party and background, Americans by choice and by birth, are bound to one another in the cause of freedom. We have known divisions, which must be healed to move forward in great purposes - and I will strive in good faith to heal them. Yet those divisions do not define America. We felt the unity and fellowship of our nation when freedom came under attack, and our response came like a single hand over a single heart. And we can feel that same unity and pride whenever America acts for good, and the victims of disaster are given hope, and the unjust encounter justice, and the captives are set free.

We go forward with complete confidence in the eventual triumph of freedom. Not because history runs on the wheels of inevitability; it is human choices that move events. Not because we consider ourselves a chosen nation; God moves and chooses as He wills. We have confidence because freedom is the permanent hope of mankind, the hunger in dark places, the longing of the soul. When our Founders declared a new order of the ages; when soldiers died in wave upon wave for a union based on liberty; when citizens marched in peaceful outrage under the banner "Freedom Now" - they were acting on an ancient hope that is meant to be fulfilled. History has an ebb and flow of justice, but history also has a visible direction, set by liberty and the Author of Liberty.

When the Declaration of Independence was first read in public and the Liberty Bell was sounded in celebration, a witness said, "It rang as if it meant something." In our time it means something still. America, in this young century, proclaims liberty throughout all the world, and to all the inhabitants thereof. Renewed in our strength - tested, but not weary - we are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom.

May God bless you, and may He watch over the United States of America.

Truly one of the best...May God bless our President in the work that he is setting out to do...

Thoughts Like Rain...

I dont know what this is... There are white flowers blooming out of the red center "cone" most unique! Taken in the Albezia Tree Tunnel on route 132 near Lava Tree State Park

Its been dry and voggy here and I am too sick to go to bed. Nausea, and my head is screaming...Maybe I am sick or perhaps its just sick and tired... I think its everything but I see plans forming slowly and I know that things are starting to come together...

The Goodbyes have started. My website for the store is history, paid the web master today all that I owed him. That is a good feeling... I am not running out of town with a pile of debts from the business, there are a few people that I know that I venture to say might be doing just that, sadly...

I think of all of the people that likely I wont see again in this life and that is sad... I dont know when I will be able to come back here, not money or time, but emotionally. Im just like that, I cant go back for a while once I've left a place for good. I get too upset about it. Even when its a good move... Like when I bought my first house and stuff, I am just really bad about moving, let alone a move like this where I am giving up a home, a car, a few friends, some dear... and a place I love for the unknown... Im still moving forward...

Woody is working a string of midnight shifts for the guard Co. They call him at the last minute but hes so good natured about it that this doesn't bother him... I guess its ok by me if its ok with him...

We had another kitty scare here. We have had a man in to wash the siding of the house to clean off the accumulated mildew that has built up, and he did all of the windows too. Did a great job, place looks freshly painted... Well one of the screens wasn't on very well and poor Nani jumped up onto the ledge and went flying out of the window onto the ground. Like poor Alice in the Rabbit Hole, she was shell shocked but Woody called her and she ran the 10 feet or so into the porch light and into my waiting arms...( she's so athletic she jumps into my arms when frightened or upset.) I took her inside and we had a long cuddle. (I am so scared of how they will be with flying to...well where ever we go... but at least we will have them safely in a protective carrier, and not in the mud like the poor fuzz ball last night...) I needed a shower when all of the consoling was over but that was ok...

I fired a few people up with my post on the tsunami relief. I stand by it. I think that there is a whole lot of money going to who knows where... I heard a lovely story about an English couple that didn't cancel their trip to Phukett, and were very please to find that the resort was cleaned up and open for business. Reviving the tourist trade will be very much a shot in the arm for the nations involved as that provides the jobs needed for a sustained recovery...The resort was thrilled to have the couple who gave a glowing report of what they saw in the post tsunami clean up... I have hear that local people are going for Spring Break and I think that is good to get on with life.......

I want to thank all of my loyal readers... I am heading to the 10000 mark on the number of hits to this site and that tells me that you enjoy what you are seeing here. I will try to keep it up as I make the move to the mainland. I have done some updating. should any of you wish to be on my blogroll, just let me know

I have added a few poems to Hokule'a, and I think there will be more. I find that the trying times are the inspiring times...

January 19, 2005

Nothing is Lost

Puna Thunder- Breaker rolling in under the evening sky... Pohiki Puna


Nothing is Lost

Deep in our sub-conscious,
we are told
Lie all our memories,
lie all the notes
Of all the music
we have ever heard
And all the phrases
those we loved have spoken,
Sorrows and losses
time has since consoled,

Family jokes,
out-moded anecdotes
Each sentimental
souvenir and token
Everything seen,
experienced, each word
Addressed to us
in infancy, before
Before we could even know
or understand
The implications
of our wonderland.

There they all are,
the legendary lies
The birthday treats,
the sights,
the sounds,
the tears
Forgotten debris
of forgotten years
Waiting to be recalled,
waiting to rise
Before our world dissolves
before our eyes

Waiting for some small,
intimate reminder,
A word,
a tune,
a known familiar scent
An echo from the past
when, innocent
We looked upon the present
with delight
And doubted not
the future would be kinder
And never knew
the loneliness of night.

Noel Coward

January 17, 2005

Headline News

transportation Hawaii style. Barge and Plane over Hilo Bay.. WE have a transport strike going on but it doesnt seem to be getting much press. Perhaps the people at the paper have enough toilet paper and rice to last a while...

A few news stories that I wanted to comment on...

As Woody and I struggle with our own housing issues we are adding, by our indecision, to the desperate housing problems being experienced by would be home buyers in Hilo. It would be easy if you could rent but there are no rentals available here. When you hear 18 year olds in Taco Bell discussing college classes, and buying a peice of land out in Eden Rock so they can build a lean to to live in while going to school...(I kid you not)this is really bad...There are also no homes for the aged or infirm among us...if you want Section 8 forget about it... the wating list is years long and the units... well, read this story...

housing problems
Vacant Housing Frustration


"For local events, you do not look at the phone book and find a map, you run," he said. Mayor Harry Kim remarking at a meeting of the county council...Remember he felt that we were unprepared for a tsunami and wanted the route redone... WEll our council in their wisdom have come up with this plan... Good thing I am moving I guess, I dont think I would make it as I am getting to old and slow to run....

Its scary... I suppose these will become "Famous Last Words". This seems to be the final word after the two week old debate on Tsunami Preparedness. The escape maps were out dated then but now they are OK... I dont think so and here is that article read it then plan your trip to paradise, like those poor souls that went to Phukett...

Now about the Tsunami...


There is more and more coverage on the Tsunami as the body counts rise to above 300,000. But are any of you wondering about the billions of dollars of aid, where is it going, and to whom? Is it just me or when you hear that the Indonesian government wants our troops, ships, and help out of their country in 60 days...does that bug you? many of these places are under corrupt regimes and governments...Doctors Without Borders has said "enough already" with regards to donations...Do you wonder that we are neglecting our own needful in this winter of mudslides, flooding, continued hurricane homelessness (where is the world relief efforts for our record four hurricanes in 6 weeks?... no great outpouring of world grief on that)...

Hat tip to SmoothStone for turning me on to the site badeagle.com and this article regarding the ripping off and mechandising of the Tsunami Relief Effort and how money will not help but rather a changein pervese lifestyles and governments... for those of us of a conservative mindset you will find the Professor David Yeagley's writings very interesting. Get a load of the photo leading the story, it blew me away.

The Occasional Tourist

Snowcapped Mauna Kea on a voggy day

I am the occasional tourist. On a day like yesterday (and today too) when it is warm and sunny I go to a local tourist spot and pretend like I am on vacation... Not as relaxing as the real thing but its fun. Woody is at the shop today and since I was busy the whole week I thought that Id take the morning off. I tootled up Waianuenue Ave, past the store and saw the sign that said "Rainbow Falls-Boiling Pots"... "Well," I said to myself..."might as well get a good look before I have to leave Hawaii"...Soooo

I went up the road to the Rainbow Falls State Park, which is actually two parks... one where the actual water fall is and the other a 1/4 mile away where the rapids are that are just above the falls. It was hazy as we have Kona winds that are driving the VOG right over us... Reminds Woody and I of when we were kids and the LA Smog alerts when the smog was so bad it was hazy and you couldnt hardly see accross the school yard...They hardly have them this bad any more... Every 20 minutes a fresh bus load of Japanese tourists pulled up. I snapped pictures and walked around. Went to the gift shop, full of nonsensical but fun touristy clap trap... Had myself a Good Humor strawberry vanilla ice cream with sprinkles that had thawed and refrozen enough times to give it that authentic Hawaii flavor...

I then got into the car and drive to Boiling Pots Lookout. The Rapids are called "Boiling Pots", as the bubbling sounds made by the water over the many rock do sound like boiling pots of water... Here it was serene, no bus loads of tourists, just groups of young people walking up and down the forbidden steep trail down the ravine to the Wailuku River and the lovely swimming in the pools of water... I was told it was as cold as any Alpine mountain stream, by a young girl wearing a bikini so small it was just short of ridiculous. No tan lines showing...perhaps she was from a place where bathing suits are optional...

From there I drove on up Waianuenue, past the Kaumana subdivisions, and stopped and took photos along the river at Pi'ihonua. The views were lovely and the air smelled of blooming things and the ocean. I kept driving and stopping, and snapping photos till my camera said..."Battery Needs Recharging"...time to go back to the real world...

It was the nicest two hours Ive spent in a long while!

some photos from the outing below

Praise To the Lord

The Beautiful Rainbow Falls. The Wailuku River, full of snow melt


Praise to the Lord,
the Almighty,
the King of creation!
O my soul,
praise Him,
for He is thy health and salvation!
All ye who hear,
now to His temple draw near
Praise Him in glad adoration.

The upper Wailuku river near Pii'honua

Praise to the Lord,
Who over all things
so wondrously reigneth,
Shelters thee under His wings,
yea, so gently sustaineth.
Hast thou not seen
how thy desires have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?

The Shaded Path Rainbow Falls State Park


Praise to the Lord,
Who hath fearfully,
wondrously, made thee
Health hath vouchsafed
and when heedlessly falling,
hath stayed thee.
What need or grief
ever hath failed of relief?
Wings of His mercy did shade thee.

Aw'apuhi or the Red Ginger, growing happily unaware that it is on the edge of a cliff! Rainbow Falls State Park


Praise to the Lord,
Who doth prosper thy work
and defend thee
Surely His goodness and mercy
here daily attend thee.
Ponder anew
what the Almighty can do,
If with His love
He befriend thee.

January 16, 2005

the snow melt swollen Wailuku River rapids near Pii'honua


Praise to the Lord,
Who, when tempests
their warfare are waging,
Who, when the elements
madly around thee are raging,
Biddeth them cease,
turneth their fury to peace,
Whirlwinds and waters assuaging.

The Dark, Rough, and Unknown Path...Banyan Trail to the top of the falls Rainbow Falls State Park

Praise to the Lord,
Who,when darkness of sin
is abounding,
Who, when the godless do triumph,
all virtue confounding,
Sheddeth His light,
chaseth the horrors of night,
Saints with His mercy surrounding.

The Wailuku Rapids known as the "Boiling Pots" Rainbow Falls State Park

Praise to the Lord,
O let all that is in me adore Him!
All that hath life and breath,
come now with praises before Him.
Let the Amen
sound from His people again,
Gladly! For Yes we adore Him.

January 14, 2005

Semper Fi

Fallen Brothers- Marine Memorial Service at Kaneohe Oahu for those marines that have fallen in action since Nov 8

I support the liberation of Iraq, and the actions that it takes to get the job done, but losing a young person is always so sad...for they had much to live for...I am so thankful that we have people that will enlist and serve our country and I want to salute them today!

you can read about these great Marines here

Holo Holo (To keep going forward)

Dont take my picture darn it...I hate the blasted flash...Makoa being bashful

wanted to post briefly... The store is growing empty as things are leaving with happy new owners. I have had personal best days with regards to number of items and total amount sold. Woody still holds the records in both catagories.

I am sending things to the ebay seller that I am using and things will start to show up soon from the store. I will let you know.

We are constantly reformulating the moving program... I guess and growing and changing, we are humans after all...I wrote a poem after Woody sugessted that we figure out how to stay here. I will post it at Hokule'a in the next few days. I have several poems that are trying to come out right now I just dont have time to "polish" them...

hope you are all doing ok

January 13, 2005

The White Mountain

Mauna Kea or "White Mountain", covered with snow after the heavy rains of 1-11 the little "bumps" on the top are the observatories...

As seen in today's Tribune Herald

BIG ISLAND DRIFTS

Heavy clouds on Tuesday obscured the summit of Mauna Kea for most viewers in East Hawaii, but one vantage point for a crystal clear vista of the white mountain was from within the compound of Kulani Correctional Facility. The Mauna Kea Summit Access Road is expected to open this afternoon.

Gwen Biggert, administrative manager of the Mauna Kea Observatories Support Services, said winds were forecast to remain at about 30 mph for a wind chill index of minus 25 degrees Fahrenheit.

"They usually try to get it open by noon," Biggert said of the road-clearing crew.

Blowing snow has closed the access road since Sunday.

Those who venture to the summit must be aware of the numerous hazards, including altitude sickness, low oxygen, ultraviolet radiation, exposure and icy roads, and they should spend at least a half hour at the Visitor Information Station at the 9,200-foot elevation.

High altitude exposure is especially hazardous for pregnant women, people in poor physical condition, with heart or respiratory problems, children and teenagers.

Elsewhere, a fast-moving storm dropped 4.48 inches of rain on Pahoa in the 12-hour period ending 5 a.m. Tuesday. (thats near where we live, was a lot like sitting in a running dishwasher!)

Here are some great links... Read more about the Worlds tallest Mountain (over 32,000 ft from summit to seafloor!

January 12, 2005

The View From Space

view from space note the snow covered Mauna Kea (upper) and Mauna Loa (lower) Cloudy in Hilo (right of the mountains) and it raining on the Kona Coast down to South Point to the left of the mountains. We have a Kona wind blowing and you can see another system comming our way from the south... do you see the dark area below the curve of the island there is another active volcano lurking there 10000 feet down called Loihi... the next Hawaiian island!

...To A Land Which I Will Show You...Continued

Sweeping upslope air and earth on the incline of Mauna Kea near Peepeekeo

Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go forth from your country, And from your relatives And from your father's house, To the land which I will show you;

Genesis 12:1

I want to thank everyone who commented and sent emails... I am at a low point yet I know that one has to get this far to start going up...

Today was a inauspicious day if there ever was one... Things are going wrong everywhere...at lunch I heated a microwave dinner, but as I took it out of the microwave, the bottom of the tray fell out, splashing me with hot pasta and sauce. I burned my bare feet, and hands... and I had no tools, no mop, or anything to clean up such a mess. I did get it cleaned up sort of using paper towels and windex, but it left an orangy sort of stain on the floor covering, table, and the wall.

Then I went to the bathroom to wash up and get a new trash bag as the one I had was full of food and the store smelled like a pizzeria...I reached down for the bag box and froze...Sticking out from behind the box was a....You could call it a tail, it looks like the front end of a shrimp...so it can fool its prey, you grab that end and the business end swings around and grabs you, injecting you with poisonous, infectious venom...a "Red" centipede, as thick as my finger...Hiding like the cats do with its tail showing... to entice prey...

"Dang" I said, I had no bacon tongs at the store, the weapon of choice, you grab the thing by the head and flush it. In fact I had nothing including a shoe heavy enough to do much damage to the Armored maradour...But I saw something that would slow it down and eventually do it in, Toilet bowl cleaner with bleach, you know the stuff that sticks to the bowl. I stuck the nozzle down so the stuff dripped down the wall and squeezed. That flushed it. All eight inches of it. It staggered around the bath room I covered it with the stuff and then looked for something to hit it with. All I had was a empty oxygen tank for the bench torch. I slammed it on the thing. Then I got my camera. Contracted in death and toxic abuse it was still at least five inches long... I scraped what was left up and flushed it. The placed stunk of bleach...I ended up closing up early as I could stand neither the smell or the thought of another one and I was hungry (Id have barfed had I had food in my belly)

Lord this was the land that you showed me. This is the third one this week, a creature that could kill me with one bite...I look around at the mildewed walls and the rotton woodwork and the over grown yard and realize that I have not a clue how to take care of things here... Here I thought that learning the language and culture would help to sustain me, but what I really needed to do was buy a pressure washer...

Woody and I pooled our info. Our price for the house is high for the market just now but this is a great time to market and list it. The thought is that there is going to be another price spike and our home is in between low end and high end. The builder of the home and his wife are courting us to get the listing... As I said in a previous post they are willing to come and help us get the place in shape to sell, and out of their pocket... They also have contacts in Arkansas...but I think we are going to be going to Texas for now... We do need to get our "show on the road" so to speak and the mover that was out today felt that it was a shrewd move and hed get on the bid right away.

There is no word about the people that were looking at the store... Closing date hasnt changed...

I have had three people today tell me they are leaving as well.

Orson Scott Card, in his book "Sarah" explores the life of the Patriarch Sarah, Mother of Israel. Fictional, as we know so little about her, Card relates that the wife of Lot was Sari's older sister and "she wasnt about to live in a tent" as we know Lot found himself drawn to Sodom, perhaps it was his wife that drew him there. We know how that part of the story turned out and it wasnt happy... Sari, as a child, was promised to Abram. She lived her lfe in a tent and wasnt sorry. she was blessed with the desire of her heart, even in old age... I want to be like that... I really do. Be willing

So it looks like April 15 will be departure day, will arrive in Houston April 16, with a husband and two cats in tow and a unknown future...

January 11, 2005

...To A Land Which I Will Show You...

Kamoamoa Bench Flow HVO Photo

Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go forth from your country, And from your relatives And from your father's house, To the land which I will show you;

Genesis 12:1


Now therefore, arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them--the children of Israel... No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and of good courage, Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law ; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1

So they both went until they came to Bethlehem. And when they had come to Bethlehem, all the city was stirred because of them, and the women said, "Is this Naomi?"
She said to them, "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.
"I went out full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the LORD has witnessed against me and the Almighty has afflicted me?"

Ruth 1:19-21

It is a cold wet winter night the rain is pouring down and has for three days...The frogs are singing and I am burning a copy of "Lux Aeterna"... I am at the place in the service when the Host is elevated and the Alleluias are sung and it is a glorious thing...like the tropical night the choir reaches this height and then there is a hush, and a stillness, as you meditate on your loss and the Ultimate Victory over Death we can have...


I wasn't sure how to start this post... I got the comment from Loren, and thank You that was shot in the arm... It is just been depressing here... Like California we are having torrential rains, its grey and nasty...Hilo wont have the flooding that California get but Oahu and Kauaii get it big time...

The moving people are starting to come for the estimates. The yard guys are working in the wet. Nothing stops for rain here, or nothing would ever happen... We are cleaning out stuff... Just when you think you have your junk cleaned out you find more. I tossed out all of the catalogs for the purchasing end of Azure Seas... I can always order up more on the mainland should I pursue the jewelry business again. I packaged 10 packs of of new and used vintage and modern postcards for Mya to put on eBay. Will sell... they do and we are setting up a separate account for decorating and new things...

The finality of leaving, like a terminal illness has set in. At lunch today, Woody read my post from yesterday. He doesnt always read me, but he said that today when he read it, it left him feeling like he should not be happy to leave here. He cant wait to shake the dust off his boots. He has a childlike faith as I said before as spiritually deep as a mudpuddle and just as murky... He said that he "knows it will be better..." Truthfully, I have my doubts.

I think the hardest thing for me to get over is how one can hope and hope and hope for a better day and not have it. The killer thing is that moving is not likely to solve our problems... I dont know if there is a solution. How does a semi employable 55 year old man get his nerve back? How does a 43 year old woman who has been out of the full time office workforce get back in? Do we want to get back in? I dont... I just want to be left alone. I have taken so much abuse in the work place. I have never been sucessful at any job that I have tried to do. I cant tell you many times I have asked God to show me what to do... what is my life's work, perhaps it is failure...

I guess that the struggle to let go of Hawaii is that this place has been the focus of so much effort...indeed longing... for nearly 10 years, between looking for a place I could live and not die from my allergies... (yes that plays on my mind now, will going back to the mainland mean back to drugs that dull my mind and a daily struggle to breathe and not have hives the size of dinner plates, that is terrifying.)...to the discovery and the waiting and the move and the over three years of struggle here. We wonder if the ageism factor that keeps Woody from working here is universal. Read the blog "Time Goes By" and you wonder. He's afraid too of this, but we know that minimum wage goes a lot futher everywhere else but here.

Its a complete reformation of thinking...and the resulting dying to self, for if I wanted I could say "Im Staying" and Woody would do it but that would be wrong. Turns out this blog is the only place in the world I can truly express my grief in the dying, for few of our friends understand the move at all...


There is the continued anxiety of the process. for example, I was in the International Shipping Business for 10 years and have followed the trade through publications ect... the bottle neck that LA has become for the flood of imported stuff comming into the US is staggering. Last July 4th 140 vesseles were backed up to be unloaded in the Los Angeles Long Beach harbors, shortages of equipment, railspace and over the road carriers make the months between Post Chinese New Year and October 31 peak shipping season, with the climax being around July 15. Frieght has its priorties..."Personal Effects" come in dead last in the priority system...So the sooner we can get our stuff out of here and on the water the better... After speaking to a few people I found that this is radically true. Better to ship in march and camp outin the empty house, so to speak and get our stuff in 4-7 weeks then ship in April and wait up to 4 weeks longer... It also costs more each day we wait. Its cheaper to ship a smaller load, but if I can load a container, I can have it dropped "intact" in La to the rail and into Houston in 3 weeks from Honolulu and possible less into Bentonville via the Walmart Express that leaves daily from LA Harbor for transloading there at their terminal, a mover would then dray the "can" to where ever we want the stuff dropped. The time factor and security of the intact move makes it worth the push forward...

Push forward, and dont look back...

The verses above tell me three things...1. God has a plan, even when you cant see it...2.you can count on God... be strong and courageous...3.even if things dont turn out God is still there...but it still hurts...even to a joy filled resolution ...



1-11-2005 The Tropic Line Rolled over us with a huge and beautiful electrical storm. I hurriedly got off line and so didnt finish this post... and the cats and I went to the room that I use as an office where with a few candles burning we watched the storm roll over us through a window. It rained and rained...our clogged up gutters overflowed and it was waterfalls of water over the window amazing and beautiful...

To be continued

January 09, 2005

Ke Makakilo (My Observations)

Hilo Sunset

I was sitting here at the computer last night and I just couldn't write. Too much stuff to contemplate. So I crashed into bed at 8:30, an unheard of early hour for me and slept in this morning. Stiff from too much time in bed but maybe I have caught up a bit on my shut eye.

Part of my writers block was that I was flat out exhausted from my day at the store. Saturday is usually a very dead day... Surprisingly but yesterday I had a number of people in and not all of them visitors. Local people saw the ad in the paper about our clearance and stopped in and a few took things home... One couple took 15 things home...It was nearly a personal best day and certainly was for the number of items that left. Thank You God!. My biggest fear is that we wont sell enough stuff and it will all go to ebay and go for pennies on the dollar.

I am also overwhelmed by the "decay" here at home. Woody finally hired a lawn guy and the yards are being done, Its so far gone that it will take three days to get the place cleared and cleaned up. The woodwork and trim is all covered with mildew and that will need to be pressure washed. Here in the house the floors are in need of mopping and the place is full of piles of this and that. I am an indifferent house keeper, my skills never improving much beyond those of an 8 year old, that was told to keep house without much of a notion of how to go about it. I can cook and sew and run a washer, but I dont see the dirt until its so obvious that it borders on disgusting... Woody's bathroom is so bad that I just close the door and well... Its bad...to the point of nasty.

True, Id rather blog, write letters and read than do anything else... Especially today. Its cold grey and nasty outside. And you thought that it was always sunny and wonderfully warm here... Well I guess it is I mean its 73...That's a heat wave to you in places where its sub zero just now!

I had a small hope regarding a future endeavor, but, well, feel like, those that encouraged my interest in it are now not so sure I should do it. Sort of feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. I get very little support for anything I do, including breathing, around here... Its not like I have a huge group or support system so when one or two people pour cold water on something that you are excited about, it works out to be a large percentage of your core support group. It leaves you cold and unsure about your strong feelings...I ignored the nay sayers about the store... to my peril...so now I am not sure...

Truth is I want to do nothing. Im done trying to make a career. I have been told by everyone that I have EVER worked with..."Gee, Im not sure that you are suitable for this job..." Even Woody, who decided before we were married that I was a good companion, but that I wasn't suitable to be the mother of his children, so he has made sure that wouldn't happen... I have no idea what I am "suitable" for...Please dont tell me to take one of the myriad of tests for this, because I have taken them, and have done what they said I would be "suitable" for,and its still been a flop.

What the hell is wrong with me...

Its hard to be brave and sure and strong all of the time. As I look around me and ponder my next Trans Pacific move to a place this time that I have never been before and have only the positive affirmations of people that I do trust, to tell me how much I will "love it"... Woody is excited about any project that puts him into the future and out of a difficult present... so he cares little about the wrenching and ignores the little nuances that I will miss terribly for leaving Hawaii... Not the least of which is this blog and not knowing if I will have anything worth while to say here where ever I go to geographically.

The leaving Hawaii..."Well buy a piece of land so you can come back when you want to..." I have thought about it, but it seems like if we or I want to come back that we shouldn't leave in the first place. Its sort of like the looking back that God forbade different ones... Abram, Lot, (look what looking back cost him and his wife)the Hebrews in the wilderness, (40 years of marching in the desert... No thanks) Orpah, the other daughter in law of Naomi, who stayed in Moab instead of going back to Bethlehem with he mother in law... Ruth, who didn't look back, was rewarded handsomely for her efforts... I dont want to look backwards but forwards...

"When do you want to move" was the question I was asked on the phone by a moving estimator..."How about never?" I was tempted to say, but said "April"... Where are you going?..."Gee I dont know yet... Do I have to know?"

I dont want to be such a downer... but I know now why my Dad crashed and burned emotionally on that miserable July day in 1969. He had run out of things to live for, and had too many questions that he couldn't answer about his life and was too sick and sad to try anymore...I dont want to get that low down... but sometimes in the dark of night here, I can see how that could be. Its just too hard sometimes, life is... and in crying out to God, who seems to want me to work through this on my own, my prayers are hitting a brick wall. I cannot let go... I have no place to go to and no future hopes. I cant see through the fog of grief right now and guess I must just keep placing one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.

This is My Fathers World

Dawn Entry at Kalapana Photo HVO...Lava pouring into the seas creating new land and new challenges for the enviroment around the entry. As the lava enters the water the resulting steam is filled with sulphur dioxide and laced with volcanic glass particles. This toxic cloud rises and is swept by the trade winds over the southern portions of the Big Island and in known as VOG. This air pollution is much like acid rain and is destructive to plants and animal life and is a constant threat to those of us with breathing problems. It is our daily "Natural Disaster" here on the Big Island.

This is My Father's World

This is my Fathers world,
and to my listening ears
All nature sings,
and round me rings
the music of the spheres.
This is my Father's world
I rest me in the thought
Of rocks and trees,
of skies and seas
His hand the wonders wrought.

This is my Father's world,
the birds their carols raise,
The morning light,
the lily white,
declare their Makers praise.
This is my Father's world
He shines in all that's fair
In the rustling grass
I hear Him pass
He speaks to me everywhere.

This is my Father's world.
O let me ne'er forget
That though the wrong
seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father's world:
why should my heart be sad?
The Lord is King;
let the heavens ring!
God reigns;
let the earth be glad!

This is my Father's world,
dreaming,
I see His face.
I ope my eyes,
and in glad surprise cry,
The Lord is in this place.
This is my Father's world,
from the shining courts above,
The Beloved One,
His Only Son,
Came-a pledge of deathless love.

This is my Father's world,
should my heart be ever sad?
The lord is King
let the heavens ring.
God reigns
let the earth be glad.
This is my Father's world.
Now closer to Heaven bound,
For dear to God
is the earth Christ trod.
No place but is holy ground.

This is my Father's world.
I walk a desert lone.
In a bush ablaze
to my wondering gaze
God makes His glory known.
This is my Father's world,
a wanderer I may roam
What e'er my lot,
it matters not,
My heart is still at home.

Malt­bie D. Bab­cock, 1901

In these days where we see the incredible distructive forces of nature, we need to remember that God is in control. This is His way that He shapes His world. Not that He doesnt care about the humans in the path of natural disaster...He does to be sure. The Bible says that God saw the Earth that He created and said that it was very good. (Genesis 1:31)that includes not only the earth but all that was created including humans and their needs, as well as the earth and all of the forces within the earth that are needed to maintain its integrity. God made it and He will manage it according to His will. We can be assured that all will be very good in His Time.

January 08, 2005

He Giveth Sleep

The approaching Calm - Hamakua Coastline


Psalm 127:2

It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved children, even in their sleep.

I am an insomniac. Confirmed and certifiable... In these days of wear and tear on my nerves it has worsened, add to this the "2 o'clock wake ups" some sort of hormone short circuit...(hey it was hot flashes two years ago so...When is this thing called the change OVER WITH anyhow...)Woody is working all sorts of weird shifts for the guard people, ok by me but he gets home and wants to talk about it... I cant wait till we move and have separate beds...The long and the short of it is that I am not getting enough sleep. This morning I slept through two hours of news... Heavens how can you sleep through that??? and it was 8:15 when I woke... Was out the door by 8:30 and to town by 9am. Opened nearly on time.. Whew!

Mak has to come and get on me several times a night now and do "happy paws..." My own dang fault... I love the furry nuisance so I put up with it. His purring is a comfort as he lays down next to me... Often these days there is a tiny green house frog outside the bedroom window. These little guys no bigger than a dime trill sweetly, unlike the coque frog that "ko-kees" loudly, these guys have finesse and style. If its late enough, the mynahs have begun to sing and the roosters are crowing. My fountain is gurgling in the foyer, we are leaving that as well as many other things for the future owners of our home. I have already determined that I shall have a fountain in my new home as I love the running water effect so much. I got it to fill in the background noise that I missed, now the sound itself is cherished. I shall miss the night noises of Puna. But they also keep me awake too.

We have had a pick up in business. Our ads for the "inventory reduction sale" have drawn a few bargain hunters. Others just happen upon us... That is the thing about advertising that was crazy making for us... Nothing seems to work, and you do most of your business by chance... Well you cant make projections based on that. Today I sold more individual items than I have in one day for a while. Stuff is going out for which I am humbly grateful. I have started to liquidate bills that have been outstanding and perhaps I shall be able to pay everyone and not slink out of here like a rat... I was afraid that was going to be the case. The thought of it kept me awake at night...

I decided that even if I was rushed and harried I was still going to respect the day, and try to relax and I think it did help. It made a difference on the selling and at the end of the day I was less uptight...

I had a crazy thought as I was preparing to close the store and pack everything away into the safe... I have had the "priviledge" of being close to people who lost children due to catastrophic illness. To support them and hold their hands and at the end sing these precious ones into glory at the funeral service. As 5 pm came tonight, it was still in the building. A steady rain was falling, and I turned to computer and the A/C off and listened. There was a peace, a quietness that I wouldn't have experienced had Woody been there...No one was around and I began to tear down the store. Each case has its own little tub. Rings in a little box and many small boxes with individual items. Nearly all have to come off of a display piece, and be put away into the safe. I counted as I worked and I have nearly 400 items to pack and unpack everyday. 2 hours to set up and an hour or so to tear down. Every space is full. I have it all utilized. I only have a tiny bit of backstock left 10-12 pieces at the most. I handled it all like it was living creatures and in a sense they are. This isn't just goods that I bought and am selling. Each line, each item, was a hope, a building block to a better future for me and Woody. Now the hopes are gone. My business is like those moribund children. The life fading from them... the hopes fading away...They are still beautiful, and it breaks my heart...

I often times play the "Lux Aeterna" when I am tearing down the store. I had my own tonight in silence...

Its quiet tonight at the house... I think that there has been a big change here in the neighborhood and I dont know what, but it has been terribly quiet. I love it dont get me wrong, but if its because one of our solders from the street died I shall be very sad.

I will have a requiem here at the house for sure like I did at the store tonight,it is inevitable...As much as I once thought that I had never "bonded" to this house, I shall miss it frightfully and the way it has been a refuge...The only place at all where I could go as Hawaii has been so hostile towards me... We have estimators coming to look at what we are moving and the lady that used to own our house is a real estate agent and she wants to be the one to list our house, and has people that can help us do the up keep needed to get it back into shape. I told her that I am ashamed at the condition of the place and she was encouraging and said not to worry about it. I cant help it and I have 1000 things that pinch and pull at my mind all the time...Its a never ending struggle to give it over to God and try to let go...

Most of the time I fail...

Then I can't sleep...

January 05, 2005

Save the Children

Safe in her mother's arms...a little girl that survived the tsunami. Unfortunatly, many other children were not as fortunate. In India and Sri Lanka, often if the mother survived the family unit stayed together but if the mother died, the fathers, not having a home, livlihood to provide or parenting skills, will send his children to an orphanage... AP photo

As if the kids didnt have enough to worry about. Now they have more than the usual number of predatory animals after them.

Thank God above that this story may have turned out to have not been true... however, I wondered how long it would take the scum that traffic's in human flesh to realize that, in the words of a reporter that I dont know his name wrote..."The exploiters of children for the sex and labor trade realize that in this disaster, the "fruit" has never been so close to the ground, so to speak..." Children, especially in Indonesia, which has the highest incidences of child exploitation in South Asia, are always at risk, even with parents, who often sell older children especially girls off to help support the rest of the family. Thank God the government seems to be working for the kid's best intrests, and many countries are slamming the door on immediate "adoption" of these orphans of the tsunami, whose parents might still be alive and looking for them. Governments are registering the lost ones and perhaps there will be some happy reunifications, and protection for those that are truly alone in this world.

We all know of this intelectually, but how many of us understand how much of this goes on under our noses? In our towns and cities? Not just kids but adults as well.

A bit of personal history, In circles that I traveled in before becoming a Christian,there was a lot of perverted stuff that went on behind the perverbial "closed doors" of friends of ours. Occasionally, there was talk of slavery. Asian women, girls mostly, and sometimes boys. Many of these people were deviates, and in the music and entertainment biz...There was hushed talk of how they "knew of someone who could get you anything you wanted..." ect People would go to Cambodia, Thailand for "tours"...Often the porn biz was involved. Our position was always disgust and even threatening that if we found out about it we'd turn the monsters in...then we'd get the heck away from them as though they had leperosy (which they did of the soul) if we were at parties and such... I have changed and that life is a lifetime away from me today, but the situation I think is even worse today than it was then.

Friends, this is a real holocaust, a huge problem. Yes, non custodial parents snatch kids, but a lot of kids/young people are taken by strangers too... There are signs that you can see if you know what to look for... and in cities like LA, NYC and here in Hawaii, there are those unfortunates living like this among us...If you dont believe this, think about how many people saw Eizabeth Smart with those wacko people that kidnapped her and did NOTHING... What happens to these victims is beyond human imagining and many times they live a short brutal life.

If anything postive has come out of 9-11 it is this. The stricter rules regarding documentation of a child's origins when trying to bring them into our country and now even infants must appere in order to get a passport. And here in Hawaii, once the crossroads of the child slave trade in the 80's and 90's, every child's documents are checked carefully at the airport, along with the rest of us by TSA.

A law was passed not too long ago that made it a crime to go to places like Thailand and Indonesia for these "sex tours", which were really pedophelia extravaganzas. Thank God people are waking up and starting to deal with this. The realitiy is more horrible than we can imagine.

I have been praying for the children, the remnants of a generation lost. May God have mercy on them and keep them safe, from water, diseses and humans out of control.

To those who read and say " oh, this only applies to "THEM", think about all of the young people from the good ol' USA that may be dead or missing. Read this