February 29, 2008

Leap Of Faith

.Country Sunset near Caldwell Arkansas

DON'T BE NERVOUS! You are going to have a relaxed and fun time learning all you hope to, I'm quite sure......Charles Conner, instructor Conner Jeweler's School to yours truly, in a email...

"If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.'
Thomas A. Edison

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
Thomas A. Edison

I suppose that sounds rather New Agey, but anytime I am feeling like I have failed to succeed I try to take a look at these two quotes. Actually there are a bunch of others that I like to read, but I didn't have time to include all of them.

And that leads me to my next point/comment. The moments that I find that I am most disappointed with myself are tied into the fear of failure, not failure, but the fear of it. It is much easier to live with knowing that you tried than to say that you never did.
by Jack of Random Thoughts... Do They Have Meaning?

I have taken another huge leap of faith in my venture towards my goal to be self employed again and becoming a jeweler. This was a natural step and one that has been coming for the past 6 months. Tonight is my last night at thisplace and as an employed person. I am frightened and hopeful, reluctant and rejoicing.

It has been a good run. Two years and 4 months of steady employment and insurance coverage, challenges and times of peaceful existence. I have learned a great deal about myself and about the people around me as well as the culture and nuances of life in North West Arkansas. Thisplace has been a good place to come and work. But this good season has come to an end. There are major changes underway that will make it harder for me to work here. We had a Vice President go crazy this week and fire a bunch of people that crossed him. This and other things have told me that this is the time for me to go.

I gave my two weeks notice this week and fully expected to be walked out tonight. But they were willing to have me work till my end date in my letter of resignation letter. But Woody and I both see a huge number of projects that need to be done before I go to New Albany and my training. I also found myself second guessing my decision and saying and doing things that I wouldn't do normally, but because I am a "short timer" I felt emboldened. This is wrong. I have never burnt a bridge with regards to an employer and I am not starting now.

This is the first time that I have ever quit a good paying job with nothing in the offing. But I know that this will be good. I have felt like a disembodied spirit these last few days. I have watched my friends get transferred to new accounts and others mournfully left behind to clean up the mess. I was going to be sitting alone after having a desk mate that has become a good friend, doing who knows what instead of having something positive to do. I know that I can effect positive changes and get a lot of chores done if I am at home these next few weeks.

I also hate messy goodbyes. My friends are upset. They wanted the "going-away" thing ect, and my birthday is next week ect they wanted to have a party... This is just as well.

And so I go. My van is full of cartons of stuff. I emptied my computer of personal information as best I could, I am sitting in my stripped down desk and feeling odd that I may never pass this way again... As I made the familiar drive home under a canopy of stars on a moonless night, I thought about how I will miss being out in the night air, but glad I am not making the long commute with gas prices climbing every day. The shop is just on half mile from our home

I have stepped foot on the road, the real road towards a future that is full of unknowns. May God be with me, I feel like I have jumped off of a cliff. I am hoping to have sprouted wings... Maybe I can fly....

Labels: Artisans Fine Jewelry Repair, Breaking News, Business start up, Conner School, Dreams, working