December 31, 2008

The Resolution...Just Do It

The Dingle on the 9th Green, Legends of Indian Springs Louisville KY


I saw this write up in todays paper and thought that I would share it for new years... May all of you have a safe New Years Eve!


HEART & SOUL: Just do it, do it right, one choice at a timeBy Jennifer Hansen (Contact)

Whatever you need to do, get it done.

Whomever you need to be, be that person. If there’s something that needs to be said, say it.

Making resolutions is a process we might not have time for in 2009. Being resolute, on the other hand, is a finished state. It may be the very best 2009 mindset we can maintain.

When you are resolute, you simply do things. You don’t “try” to do them.

You do them. For the record, this is what I aspire to, not what I consistently achieve. However, as things get more and more serious out there, being resolute is the mind-set that feels the best.

My sister is a very successful corporate human resources officer. For 35 years, she has worked with high-powered executives in some of the biggest communications and technology companies in the world. She insists that every one of them, at some point in their career, has struggled with self-doubt or fear of failure. The ones who move through those fears to achieve real success are those who steel themselves to take one step at a time.

“Sometimes, even for them, it really is ‘fake it till you make it.’ They put on a brave front and do their best, focusing on their strengths and working overtime to overcome their weaknesses. As soon as they get comfortable, they set new goals and challenge themselves again,” she explains.

We don’t hear much about how super-successful people struggle with doubt, and that’s too bad. We also don’t hear much about how being resolute comes down to daily choices - even really small ones.

For example, let’s say you’re a writer, a columnist perhaps, who resolved last year to finish her manuscript but failed to follow through. In 2009, with the same resolution jumping around and waving its arms to get her attention, she might set a more specific goal, like completing five pages a day, or 50 pages a week. Small steps, manageable challenges, realistic time commitment - now I just have to do it. Not try to do it, but be resolute and do it.

Two important tools help us become resolute. The first is rewards. Rewards are whatever we want them to be. The more often we build small rewards into our plan, the better our chances are of achieving goals. Maybe each time you write your monthly budget report on time, you make a batch of popcorn and watch a movie. Or every time you make a sales call to your least favorite client, you get to go to the bookstore and have a coffee. Whatever you do, reward yourself for being resolute.

The second tool is what I call a touch-stone or anchor, something that grounds, inspires or sustains you.

It can be a person, place or thing and it may vary with your activity. Perhaps you put something in the living room, a favorite family photo, that reminds you to be more patient with your spouse. At the office, however, it’s an old basketball trophy that simply reminds you to act like a champion.

When I write, my touchstone is a Christmas tree. Tucked into the southeast corner of my bedroom, where it’s nobody’s business but mine if I have a Christmas tree all year long, it conveys a message that is personal and meaningful to me. That message emanates from what Christmas meant as a child and includes what a soft, glowing light means to most of us. It resonates with comfort, stability and a host of warmer emotions. Significantly in 2009, it also says what I want my column to say - thatfaith, hope and love abide, not just in my world, but in my words.

2009 may not be easy, but it can still be good. Start it by being resolute and you’ll end it with goals achieved.

Labels: Louisville, Old Flames, Scenic Arkansas

November 30, 2007

The Quiet Storm

Peaceful beach Panama City
Beach FL

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.

For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ...

2Corinthians 10:3-5

I long to have my heart as quiet this beach... I have had a rough few days I think a lot of it is just the whole change of life thing but also I know that I live a life that is not the norm and it takes a bit of struggle just getting ones head around it. I tend to go out of my way to find difficulties and strife, even when I would rather not. I am highly forgetful, and have lost a bunch of things, such as an expensive pair of sunglasses and the keys to the shop...fortunately empty and not a security risk or anything. I just wish I had my head together. Instead I feel this heaving emotion inside of me that wont stop and occasionally blows off the top

As a result I was on blogging Hiatus. I couldn't come up with a passage from the Bible to post or anything. Pretty sad...

There seems to be a lot of sad around me. The situation at "thisplace" is somewhat dismal. People on my account are shopping new opportunities on other accounts or departments and the reshuffling of duties and desks is traumatic. I came to the risky decision to tell my employer of my plans since, other than (God forbid)something happening to Charlie Conner, the teacher at the school I plan to attend, I am out of there and on to Louisville in April, no matter what. They can sack me now or I can resign at a later time. They have graciously asked me to stay on as long as I can which is great for my wallet. I feel better that I am not sneaking around and pretending to be committed when I am not. Here for the ride only. Once the account is gone then I am too.

I have had some sad revelations on the spiritual front, that made me sad for him and for the world as a whole because it just shows how hard it is to stay committed. One of the Father's at EWTN had once been a regular reader of this blog and had been at one time, encouraging me to pursue my spiritual journey. I didn't know him other than superficially and that was fine. He has recently admitted that for an indeterminate period of time he has been involved with a widow and her children, and for that reason was leaving the ministry. Leaving all of the discussion about married priests aside, what saddened me was first that he was tripped up and allowed this to go on, and that the woman involved was so selfish as to continue her involvement with a "married" man. I feel badly for both of them, they must feel really hurt and confused...

This came at the heels of my own realization that my thought life was out of order with regards to someone, and frankly I needed to repent. Daydreaming about someone else other than your mate is a sin, just as surely as literally going out on them is and it violates at a lot of levels. Most importantly, by indulging this I fail to do the most important thing I can do which is to focus on the here and now, and live in the moment... Moment by moment taking things as they come. I realized that my harmless little daydream had become a sort of fluffy blanket to wrap myself in against the emotional cold of my marriage, but because it isn't real, it only leads to frustration and discontent, and anger, and like the alcoholic, you think the one drink is only warming you and lightening your heart, but really its leading you into a darkness because that one glass in your hand becomes two..."What will it hurt?" and then its the bottle and it consumes you...

Years ago, when I was single and in ministry, I woke up one morning to the realization that I was in love with a married man. He had turned the barren soil of my heart with some words that he should have only shared with his wife, and a situation that I shouldnt have shared in. The seeds were planted in my heart, and the plant that I unwittingly nourished had to be torn out by the roots.It hurt as bad as any break up perhaps more so as I could say nothing to no one. He never knew. But other saw it perhaps in my face...and years later accused us of something that thankfully never happened.

Around the same time I took a bus tour and was paired up with a lovely woman that I knew of from my church, but had not personally met prior to this. She was a speaker and traveled extensively. We became great friends and once the trip was over and I was home and back involved in my life, I wrote to her and we spoke on the phone frequently. One morning it occured to me that I was crazy about her the way I had been about the men that had passed through my life. Knowing how these feelings can hurt even ruin both the lover and the beloved, having been involved with and known a number of gay men and women...I threw myself upon the Throne of Grace and begged God to help me to deal with this aright. Inordinant affection, like a wild plant sprug up in the garden of ones life must be delt with immediatly. The damage that I would have done to her and myself would have been significant. I cant imagine how it would have affected my family and others involved in my life...

I have learned how to disipline my thought life, and can do it. It is not impossible to do the right thing, unlike what the world says..."Just Do IT" or "If it feels good, do it." Sometimes things feel good but they are bitter fruit in the end...

And so I sit in the midst of my quiet storm. The glasses and keys were recovered, and I feel better about my decision to be obedient and to take every thought captive. My attitude has improved and I feel a little brighter today. I know that the road is not easy but it is the right road to travel on, and in the end, my Heavenly Father will approve. ...and I will feel better taking my days one day at a time

Labels: Catholic, Family History, Old Flames

March 23, 2007

Too Much Information

Honey Creek State Park Near Grove OK... This is the current pic on my desktop at work

Have you ever "Googled" someone. I know of several people that do this on a regular basis for a variety of reasons. One gal who blogs at Celestial Blue often gets anonymous readers who googled her and got her blog. There are those that Google to find out if they pop up on the Internet. The Broker Gal that sits next to me tells of how they found the lost half of her family tree by googling her mother's maiden name then following a thread to a man who had posted a genealogical project of his and sure enough, there were names she recognized. Her aunt followed up and there was a wonderful cyber space reunion that took place...

Neither myself nor Woody Google well. His actual name is so common that you would never find him in a sea of same ole same ole generic names. Me... I have been exceptionally careful to not to use my actual name online anywhere because it is somewhat unique and added to my last name would clearly identify me. I didnt realize this was a problem until I mentioned the names of friends that moved to the Big Island from a Midwest state and since then every other month I get an email from someone looking for them, and not to say a friendly "Hello". I also learned form this that when we closed the store we needed to also cut our ties to the people that bought from us as we would not be in the position to provide service to the pieces that they bought once we left the business... I think this is why people want to speak to our friends...I never tell these seekers anything other than "Gee they lived off the grid no real address, which was true they used a PO box which mattered not to me as we always just walked to each others little shop in Hilo when we wanted to talk. And I share as little as I can about anyone anymore... Its just too easy to take a little thing and use it to mess up someones life...

I was reading a blog in passing last night and they mentioned this as a meme..."Google your name and tell us about two people who share your name..." So I did. I put my name in and no one came up... I know this so I put in the name of an old boyfriend that has lived or rather I knew that he wanted to live a public sort of life... and that I would likely find his name...

And of course I did. I was not sure until I found and obituary for a child that had died, it listed the grand parents and that confirmed his identity to me. I understand something of what that loss is like and was grieved for him...I saw a lot of tidbits of information that make me happy and sad for him. I always wished him well even though he frightened me with his intensity and...well...stalking really. He couldn't understand that his getting my divorce pushed through didn't clear the way for anything but grieving, and certainly not for advancing his own agenda of being married (to me) before he was thirty.

He had an attitude that somehow his hard gotten college education was a free pass to have the right to make me over in the image he felt I should aspire to. Fast forward nearly 20 years later, and I have had the ultimate in education at "Hard Knock University" and find that while I would never knock book learning I am unsuited for day in and Day out in the class room and do much better in a more practical setting. I hope he feels as good about his life as I feel about mine.

One thing that I have learned about Google and what you can and cannot learn about people is that you shouldnt dig if you dont want to find something. I think its best to leave ghosts at rest and not stir things up in my heart or in cyberspace...

Labels: Blog Recomends, Google, Hawaii, Old Flames