October 31, 2005

How Milu Became the King of Ghosts-An Hawaiian Ghost Story

Temple of Doom The Pu'u Kohola Heiau, site of ritual human sacrifices in the tens of thousands. Near Kawaihae North Kohala, Big Island of Hawaii


HOW MILU BECAME THE KING OF GHOSTS


LONO was a chief living on the western side of the island Hawaii. He had a very red skin and strange-looking eyes. His choice of occupation was farming. This man had never been sick. One time he was digging with the oo, a long sharp-pointed stick or spade. A man passed and admired him. The people said, "Lono has never been sick." The man said, "He will be sick."

Lono was talking about that man and at the same time struck his oo down with force and cut his foot. He shed much blood, and fainted, falling to the ground. A man took a pig, went after the stranger, and let the pig go, which ran to this man. The stranger was Kamaka, a god of healing. He turned and went back at the call of the messenger, taking some popolo fruit and leaves in his cloak. When he came to the injured man he asked for salt, which he pounded into the fruit and leaves and placed in coco cloth and bound it on the wound, leaving it a long time. Then he went away.


As he journeyed on he heard heavy breathing, and turning saw Lono, who said, "You have helped me, and so I have left my lands in the care of my friends, directing them what to do, and have hastened after you to learn how to heal other people."

The god said, "Lono, open your mouth!" This Lono did, and the god spat in his mouth, so that the saliva could be taken into every part of Lono's body. Thus a part of the god became a part of Lono, and he became very skilful in the use of all healing remedies. He learned about the various diseases and the medicines needed for each. The god and Lono walked together, Lono receiving new lessons along the way, passing through the districts of Kau, Puna, Hilo, and then to Hamakua.

The god said, "It is not right for us to stay together. You can never accomplish anything by staying with me. You must go to a separate place and give yourself up to healing people."

Lono turned aside to dwell in Waimanu and Waipio Valleys and there began to practise healing, becoming very noted, while the god Kamaka made his home at Ku-kui-haele.

This god did not tell the other gods of the Medicines that he had taught Lono. One of the other gods, Kalae, was trying to find some way to kill Milu, and was always making him


sick. Milu, chief of Waipio, heard of the skill of Lono. Some had been sick even to death, and Lono had healed them. Therefore Milu sent a messenger to Lono who responded at once, came and slapped Milu all over the body, and said: "You are not ill. Obey me and you shall be well."

Then he healed him from all the sickness inside the body caused by Kalae. But there was danger from outside, so he said: "You must build a ti-leaf house and dwell there quietly for some time, letting your disease rest. If a company should come by the house making sport, with a great noise, do not go out, because when you go they wilt come up and get you for your death. Do not open the ti leaves and look out. The day you do this you shall die."



Offering Platform at Pu'u Kohola Heiau Kawaihae Kohala Big Island of Hawaii


Some time passed and the chief remained in the house, but one day there was the confused noise of many people talking and shouting around his house. He did not forget the command of Lono. Two birds were sporting in a wonderful way in the sky above the forest. This continued all day until it was dark.

Then another long time passed and again Waipio was full of resounding noises. A great bird appeared in the sky resplendent in all kinds of feathers, swaying from side to side over the valley, from the top of one precipice across to


the top of another, in grand flights passing over the heads of the people, who shouted until the valley re-echoed with the sound.

Milu became tired of that great noise and could not patiently obey his physician, so he pushed aside some of the ti leaves of his house and looked out upon the bird. That was the time when the bird swept down upon the house, thrusting a claw under Milu's arm, tearing out his liver. Lono saw this and ran after the bird, but it flew swiftly to a deep pit in the lava on one side of the valley and dashed inside, leaving blood spread on the stones. Lono came, saw the blood, took it and wrapped it in a piece of tapa cloth and returned to the place where the chief lay almost dead. He poured some medicine into the wound and pushed the tapa and blood inside. Milu was soon healed.

The place where the bird hid with the liver of Milu is called to this day Ke-ake-o-Milu ("The liver of Milu"). When this death had passed away he felt very well, even as before his trouble.

Then Lono told him that another death threatened him and would soon appear. He must dwell in quietness.

For some time Milu was living in peace and quiet after this trouble. Then one day the surf of Waipio became very high, rushing from far out even to the sand, and the people entered


into the sport of surf-riding with great joy and loud shouts. This noise continued day by day, and Milu was impatient of the restraint and forgot the words of Lono. He went out to bathe in the surf.

When he came to the place of the wonderful surf he let the first and second waves go by, and as the third came near he launched himself upon it while the people along the beach shouted uproariously. He went out again into deeper water, and again came in, letting the first and second waves go first. As he came to the shore the first and second waves were hurled back from the shore in a great mass against the wave upon which he was riding. The two great masses of water struck and pounded Milu, whirling and crowding him down, while the surfboard was caught in the raging, struggling waters and thrown out toward the shore. Milu was completely lost in the deep water.

The people cried: "Milu is dead! The chief is dead!" The god Kalae thought he had killed Milu, so he with the other poison-gods went on a journey to Mauna Loa. Kapo and Pua, the poison-gods, or gods of death, of the island Maui, found them as they passed, and joined the company. They discovered a forest on Molokai, and there as kupua spirits, or ghost bodies, entered into the trees of that forest, so the trees
became the kupua bodies. They were the medicinal or poison qualities in the trees.

Lono remained in Waipio Valley, becoming the ancestor and teacher of all the good healing priests of Hawaii, but Milu became the ruler of the Under-world, the place where the spirits of the dead had their home after they were driven away from the land of the living. Many people came to him from time to time.

He established ghostly sports like those which his subjects had enjoyed before death. They played the game kilu with polished coconut shells, spinning them over a smooth surface to strike a post set up in the centre. He taught konane, a game commonly called "Hawaiian checkers," but more like the Japanese game of "Go." He permitted them to gamble, betting all the kinds of property found in ghost-land. They boxed and wrestled; they leaped from precipices into ghostly swimming-pools; they feasted and fought, sometimes attempting to slay each other. Thus they lived the ghost life as they had lived on earth. Sometimes the ruler was forgotten and the ancient Hawaiians called the Under-world by his name--Milu. The New Zealanders frequently gave their Under-world the name "Miru." They also supposed that the ghosts feasted and sported as they had done while living.




The Cliffs of Waipio, Big Island of Hawaii, Home of the God Lono

October 30, 2005

Deuteronomy 32- The Song Of Israel

Golden Cornfields Near Butler Ohio

Deuteronomy 32


Listen, O heavens, and I will speak!
Hear, O earth, the words that I say!

My teaching will fall on you like rain;
my speech will settle like dew.
My words will fall like rain on tender grass,
like gentle showers on young plants.

I will proclaim the name of the Lord;
how glorious is our God!

He is the Rock; his work is perfect.
Everything he does is just and fair.
He is a faithful God who does no wrong;
how just and upright he is!

"But they have acted corruptly toward him;
when they act like that, are they really his children?*
They are a deceitful and twisted generation.

Is this the way you repay the Lord,
you foolish and senseless people?
Isn't he your Father who created you?
Has he not made you and established you?

Remember the days of long ago;
think about the generations past.
Ask your father and he will inform you.
Inquire of your elders, and they will tell you.

When the Most High assigned lands to the nations,
when he divided up the human race,
he established the boundaries of the peoples
according to the number of angelic beings.*

For the people of Israel belong to the Lord;
Jacob is his special possession.

"He found them in a desert land,
in an empty, howling wasteland.
He surrounded them and watched over them;
he guarded them as his most precious possession.*

Like an eagle that rouses her chicks
and hovers over her young,
so he spread his wings to take them in
and carried them aloft on his pinions.

The Lord alone guided them;
they lived without any foreign gods.

He made them ride over the highlands;
he let them feast on the crops of the fields.
He nourished them with honey from the cliffs,
with olive oil from the hard rock.

He fed them curds from the herd and milk from the flock,
together with the fat of lambs and goats.
He gave them choice rams and goats from Bashan,
together with the choicest wheat.
You drank the finest wine,
made from the juice of grapes.

But Israel* soon became fat and unruly;
the people grew heavy, plump, and stuffed!
Then they abandoned the God who had made them;
they made light of the Rock of their salvation.

They stirred up his jealousy by worshiping foreign gods;
they provoked his fury with detestable acts.

They offered sacrifices to demons, non-gods,
to gods they had not known before,
to gods only recently arrived,
to gods their ancestors had never feared.

You neglected the Rock who had fathered you;
you forgot the God who had given you birth.

"The Lord saw this and was filled with loathing.
He was provoked to anger by his own sons and daughters.

He said, `I will abandon them;
I will see to their end!
For they are a twisted generation,
children without integrity.

They have roused my jealousy by worshiping non-gods;
they have provoked my fury with useless idols.
Now I will rouse their jealousy by blessing other nations;
I will provoke their fury by blessing the foolish Gentiles.

For my anger blazes forth like fire
and burns to the depths of the grave.*
It devours the earth and all its crops
and ignites the foundations of the mountains.

I will heap disasters upon them
and shoot them down with my arrows.

I will send against them wasting famine,
burning fever, and deadly disease.
They will be troubled by the fangs of wild beasts,
by poisonous snakes that glide in the dust.

Outside, the sword will bring death,
and inside, terror will strike
both young men and young women,
both infants and the aged.

I decided to scatter them,*
so even the memory of them would disappear.

But I feared the taunt of the enemy,
that their adversaries might misunderstand and say,
"Our power has triumphed!
It was not the Lord who did this!" '

"Israel is a nation that lacks sense;
the people are foolish, without understanding.

Oh, that they were wise and could understand this!
Oh, that they might know their fate!

How could one person chase a thousand of them,
and two people put ten thousand to flight,
unless their Rock had sold them,
unless the Lord had given them up?

But the rock of our enemies is not like our Rock,
as even they recognize.*

Their vine grows from the vine of Sodom,
from the vineyards of Gomorrah.
Their grapes are poison,
and their clusters are bitter.

Their wine is the venom of snakes,
the deadly poison of vipers.

" `I am storing up these things,
sealing them away within my treasury.

I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it.
In due time their feet will slip.
Their day of disaster will arrive,
and their destiny will overtake them.'

"Indeed, the Lord will judge his people,
and he will change his mind about* his servants,
when he sees their strength is gone
and no one is left, slave or free.

Then he will ask, `Where are their gods,
the rocks they fled to for refuge?

Where now are those gods,
who ate the fat of their sacrifices
and drank the wine of their offerings?
Let those gods arise and help you!
Let them provide you with shelter!

Look now; I myself am he!
There is no god other than me!
I am the one who kills and gives life;
I am the one who wounds and heals;
no one delivers from my power!

Now I raise my hand to heaven
and declare, "As surely as I live,

when I sharpen my flashing sword
and begin to carry out justice,
I will bring vengeance on my enemies
and repay those who hate me.

I will make my arrows drunk with blood,
and my sword will devour flesh-
the blood of the slaughtered and the captives,
and the heads of the enemy leaders." '

"Rejoice with him, O heavens,
and let all the angels of God worship him,*
for he will avenge the blood of his servants.
He will take vengeance on his enemies
and cleanse his land and his people."

So Moses came with Joshua* son of Nun and recited all the words of this song to the people. When Moses had finished reciting these words to Israel, he added: "Take to heart all the words I have given you today. Pass them on as a command to your children so they will obey every word of this law. These instructions are not mere words-they are your life! By obeying them you will enjoy a long life in the land you are crossing the Jordan River to occupy."
Moses' Death Foretold
That same day the Lord said to Moses, "Go to Moab, to the mountains east of the river,* and climb Mount Nebo, which is across from Jericho. Look out across the land of Canaan, the land I am giving to the people of Israel as their own possession. Then you must die there on the mountain and join your ancestors, just as Aaron, your brother, died on Mount Hor and joined his ancestors. For both of you broke faith with me among the Israelites at the waters of Meribah at Kadesh* in the wilderness of Zin. You failed to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel there. 52 So you will see the land from a distance, but you may not enter the land I am giving to the people of Israel."

October 29, 2005

Looking Backward

The Canoe Launch Hilo Bay

I was researching to do a post regarding Halloween and Hawaii, and found that I just couldnt bear it. I couldnt see familiar addresses and places without a huge feeling of sadness and regret. I guess the time isnt right yet for me to deal with it... Yet I wonder when that will be.

Woody wanted to go back for our tenth anniversary, I told him that I wasnt up to the ten hour flight, but Im really not up to seeing my Hawaii... and leaving it again...it wouldnt matter which Island, or the fact that this was a holiday...

Sometimes after a death it is best to wait a bit before going to the cemetary.

October 28, 2005

The Kittens and the Falling Leaves

Watching the leaves fall, Mak and Nani at our front door


The Kitten and the Falling Leaves
That way look, my infant, lo!
What a pretty baby-show!
See the kitten on the wall,
sporting with the leaves that fall.
Withered leaves - one - two and three
from the lofty elder tree.
Though the calm and frosty air,
of this morning bright and fair.
Eddying round and round they sink,
softly, slowly; one might think.
From the motions that are made,
every little leaf conveyed
Sylph or Faery hither tending,
to this lower world descending.
Each invisible and mute,
in his wavering parachute.

But the Kitten, how she starts,
crouches, stretches, paws, and darts!
First at one, and then its fellow,
just as light and just as yellow.
There are many now - now one,
now they stop and there are none:
What intenseness of desire,
in her upward eye of fire!
With a tiger-leap half-way,
now she meets the coming prey.
lets it go as fast, and then;
Has it in her power again.
Now she works with three or four,
like an Indian conjuror;
quick as he in feats of art,
far beyond in joy of heart.
Where her antics played in the eye,
of a thousand standers-by,
clapping hands with shout and stare,
what would little Tabby care!
For the plaudits of the crowd?
Over happy to be proud,
over wealthy in the treasure
of her exceeding pleasure!

William Wordsworth (1770-1850)

October 27, 2005

Advanced Preparations

Twisters preparing to be born. Toungues of spinning cloud near Caldwell AR

While electricity, gasoline, and ice are in short supply in south Florida, panic is abundant. Radio host Sally Sevareid claimed many of her fellow Floridians simply didn't listen to the hurricane forecasts. "I'm shocked and amazed at how many folks didn't heed the warning as seriously as they should have. I don't know how we could have been any clearer - telling people to be prepared to be on your own for three to five days." The post-Wilma chaos was made worse when some truck drivers bringing emergency supplies actually got lost. Florida State treasurer Tom Gallagher explained what happened. "Truck drivers did get lost - they had cell phones that didn't work. They weren't able to get instructions on where they were supposed to go to unload. All of us on the state level take responsibility for that." The Factor urged the state to demand that power lines be buried, even if it costs billions. "This is going to continue to happen in the state of Florida - the forecasts are that the next fifteen years are going to be just as bad. So you have to get the power lines underground or you're going to have this chaos continuing."

From the ORielly Factor report 10 26 05

It flat out amazes me what I am seeing on the news, and in the paper, Once upon a time, we as citzens we supposed to be self reliant, or as the Boy Scount motto goes "Be Prepared". No sooner did the rain stop falling in Florida did the whining begin. I know that hurricanes are horrible things, so are floods earthquakes and tornadoes. But I have yet to see cash handed out to the New Hampshire flood victims, or FEMA trailers provided to earthquake victims in California or to folks that lose their homes to tornado... There was no Red Cross kitchen in front of my house in 1987 when my house was thrashed in the Whittier Earthquake...

Yet as those in Florida were told to get supplies together so they could care for themselves for a few days untill FEMA could get in place, they chose to stay and not lay in food and water. I have seen those in lines to get food and water and telling those in charge that they didnt do anything. That was stupid. Those are the same people that complain that FEMA isnt doing enough... They need to do something, shut up and get in line for the dwindling supply of ice...

Almost as insane was hearing that no account, thives on corruption and graft, self seeking nothing of a mayor Ray Negan whinging to a CNN reporter " I know what happened in Florida, but they are taking the help we need in New Orleans. Dont forget about New Orleans, we need FEMA working right here. " I found myself screaming at the car radio "Shut up Shut up". I couldnt believe he had the nerve...

I have lived in Earthquake and volcanic zones. Now I live in a tonado zone, One can be as prepared as one can. I have my water food and kitty litter in reserve... I just wonder about our nation... How can we possible endure another 9-11 sort of incedent, or more catasrophe as many meterologists predict... how can we as tax payers continue to suppport this wealth redistribution. For those of us that plan are subsidizing those that dont. This relience on the government to bail us out everytime something goes wrong is going to bankrupt us.

October 26, 2005

Lost In Translation

Fern Forest Kalopa State Park near Honokaa Hawaii

Lost in Translation

Today like every other day
angry words are exchanged
meaning and message garbled
in confused misunderstanding

The painful exchanges
are frustrated attempts
by two hurting people
to find their way

Sometimes I want only
to hear the words
any word of consolation
but hear nothing

In all my dreams
I never thought
Id spend my life
talking to a wall.

I scream, curse and rage
to be heard by you
misusing the voice
God gave me to praise Him

You say I dont listen
I say you cant hear me
The love that connects us
is like severed phone lines

This silence of the heart
Resounds like shattering glass
Our habit of resentment envelopes
our marriage like a shroud

We are strangers in a forest
Lost in translation
I have so little hope
of ever hearing you.

October 25, 2005

Home Sweet Home

Home Sweet Home

Galveston...

Gulfport...

Gulf Shores...

Sarasota...

Tampa...

Woody and I kiss the rocky soil of Northwest Arkansas again and again. Nearly every place we considered to relocate has been touched by this hurricane season. Yes its going to get cold. Its 30 degrees tonight but we are safe and snug in our nest.

Thanks be to God...

October 24, 2005

Rip Van Winkle

Corn Shocks near Millersburg, Ohio

"Tell us about what you did at XYZ Freight Co"
"Imagine a world where there was no PC's no internet, and every other trucker was your competitor. Everything was done by hand so the paperwork, labels freight bills of Lading, manifests all customs docs were prepared by hand..."
"so how many loads did you average...."
"40 trailers, and 125 intact containers, for an average of 200,000 cft per week"
"Hoku, did you sleep?"
"No, not much, and I dont want to work that hard ever again..."

You wouldnt believe what I have been through these past few days as I contemplate returning to the International Shipping business again. When I got the call last friday for the group of interviews today I was filled with apprehension. Then I pulled up their website and frankly I felt like Rip Van Winkle. Ten years ago the firms that merged together to form my potential employer were competitors that wouldnt colaberate for a million bucks. Everything that I did by hand, is all automated and done via the internet. 10 years ago I was the freight's mother going out to the dock to view it, late at night, worry over its safety and timely arrival over the highway and railroad..., today, should I get the job, I am one thousand miles from the cargo's port of entry, and managing its travels via the information superhighway. This place is a gleaming building in the newly developed business park, not a dirty warehouse, dark and cold, or stifling hot...

I have awakened 10 years later to find the dreams of my fellow account reps realized in the information age... and it scared me. Why would anyone want to hire this dinosaur? Well there seems to be an intrest. I had three interviews by three different teams at a freight logistics company this afternoon, and I think each of them went very well... so stay tuned... Seems that God has a plan that I hadnt really given much credit.

Woody received some bad news. The man he saw in Springfield wasnt very impressed and doesnt want to hire him. Youd think that driving 250 miles for an interview would earn you some points. I think its his weight that is at issue. There is another job fair tomorrow and we both plan to attend. Im not counting on anything and Woody isnt giving up...

October 23, 2005

I Peter 3:8-22 The Eyes of The Lord Are On The Righteous

Misty Country Morning near Butler Ohio


1 Peter 3:8-22

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;
not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
For, "THE ONE WHO DESIRES LIFE, TO LOVE AND SEE GOOD DAYS, MUST KEEP HIS TONGUE FROM EVIL AND HIS LIPS FROM SPEAKING DECEIT.
"HE MUST TURN AWAY FROM EVIL AND DO GOOD; HE MUST SEEK PEACE AND PURSUE IT.
"FOR THE EYES OF THE LORD ARE TOWARD THE RIGHTEOUS, AND HIS EARS ATTEND TO THEIR PRAYER, BUT THE FACE OF THE LORD IS AGAINST THOSE WHO DO EVIL."
Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good?
But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED,
but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;
and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.
For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.
For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit;
in which also He went and made proclamation to the spirits now in prison,
who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through the water.
Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you,not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience,through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,
who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven, after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him.

October 22, 2005

Change In Motion

Wavespray at Seaview, Puna Big Island Of Hawaii

written friday 10-21-05

This has been a busy few days for us here as the days grow shorter and the nights cooler. We have the heat on now all the time and I relized that I am under clothed, and will need to buy warmer clothing for the winter. But the nice thing is that all of my clothes from the time at the jewelry store still fit and are nice enough to wear to most any job I might get. And working seems to be where God is taking me back to an old trade, work I havent done for nearly 10 years.

But more about that later. The yard sale was so so and we have one more day. We sold a few things but that just seems to mean that I bring in five more things its a never ending struggle against accumulation. Woody and I just laugh at each other for we are both really bad about this.

Today it was to be raining and really cold. Woody had a final interveiw but had to go where the district manager was this week which is the store in Springfield MO. This is about 125 mles away, and a place we have never been before. So it was decided that I would go with him and have a bit of an adventure. I am glad we did.

While Woody was interviewing I too the car and did a bit of shopping and found a few things that I needed including an outlet for knock down furniture, and was able to procure the remainging needed bookcases for my little reading room. Very happy about that, not just getting them but paying less than 100.00 for all seven of them (they are small 25lx30hx12d...They will be stacked.

We stopped to eat, and do a bit more shopping and just enjoyed the driving about. The fall colors were really blooming up there and the farms surrounding the area were just lovely to look at.

While sitting in the resturant I got a call from the place that was my first choice of all of the opportunities at the job fair. I will be interviewing for a customer service type position at a freight coordinating firm here in this area, next monday. Its work that I wouldnt mind doing and the pay is more than I have ever earned in my life and frankly, should God bless us with both of these positions it will really be a boost towards preparing for retirement that we werent sure wed ever have. Im excited and a bit nervious about it all.

Think I have not been 100 percent since I had the flu shot. Sort of loggy but I hope that by monday, I will be better and on my toes. I will be interviewd by 5 different "teams" each team handles a single or group of accounts or a geographic region, depending on how things are done at this firm. It will be interesting to see how the business has changed and how it has stayed the same over the years.

I know that God has a plan for me, and its a bit different than I had thought originally. I am trying to allow for things to just unfold naturally and not to push my way into anything. Perfect Will please...that is my prayer and desire...

October 21, 2005

Other Nations

The Snuggle Spot.... Makoa getting a wash from his girlfriend Nani before nap time in their favorite new snuggle spot in the new house.

"Thump, thump thump"
"Woody call your little boy, he's trying to get into the cabinets again..."
"Makkie boy, pretty boy, come get a pet..."

Makoa cant resist Woody, and follows him around like a feline shadow.

We are parents of furry children. We cossett and carry, talk to and spoil Makoa and KaNani to the point of irritation of some, who cant understand that these are the only children we will ever have. I know so many others in the same place in life, and this post is dedicated to them...to all of us who sing baby songs and spoil rotten beloved pets. The unconditional love we get from them seems to demand no less...


Other Nations

I used to think women
who talked baby talk
to their animals
were the rock bottom.
Now I'm not so sure.
Now I open my mouth
and hear, coming out of it,
"Is you a good, good dog?"
words that are falling
in their light, descending order
to two pricked ears,
a hairy face, a glowing eye,
an unbroken concentration on the excellent,
bone-shaped dog biscuit I'm holding up,
increasing our pleasure
with some slight, prolonging chitchat.

My neighbor Zoe,
at twelve, cries to her cat,
"Oh, dearest, darlingest Wooshiekins!"
as she presses extravagant kisses
on the round head of a pale,
torpid marmalade
who doesn't seem to mind
(but her silent father gets up and leaves the room).

"They are other nations,"
my own father wrote,
"caught with ourselves in the net of life and time."
Of course, he meant the wild ones,
but our household allies, too,
link us to a greater world.
We wish we could speak their languages...
and, meanwhile,
they learn ours.

When the rein snapped
while I'm driving home
in the buggy,
with Blackberry trotting hard,
grabbing the bit, through the rush
of a blustery March day,
I don't start hauling
on the other rein
and risk tipping us over
or starting a runaway...
I call to him loudly,
"waaalk...waaalk..."
and after he does that
he hears me say,
"Whoa!" and he does that.

So how can I ever
praise that huge person enough,
those twelve hundred pounds
of best behavior
who may just have saved
my life?
I get out and tie the ends
of the parted rein as he rolls
his questioning eye, and I pat
his strong, damp neck,
repeating, over and over,
without thought,
a mantra of gratitude
to Gods and animals....
"Thank you," I say, "thank you,
thank you, kind fate,
thank you, my good, good friend!"

Poem: "Other Nations" by Kate Barnes from "Kneeling Orion". © David R. Godine.

October 19, 2005

A Good Use of Time

Outbuilding on an Amish Farm near Berlin Ohio

Today both Woody and I had job interviews at the same place, a contract labor opperation in the next town that handles all of the employment needs for one of the big three firms in the area. The frim that handles transportation had a broker at the job fair and she was practically salavating over my resume. Woody has a lot of useful skills and would be a credit to any place that he works, he just lacks self confidence... so do I but I just bluff my way through life

We had to test for computer skills, but there wasnt a slot open for us so we said wed head for lunch and come back. The staffing place is over by Major Doctors office and during our time dealing with my neck we discovered a lot of good eating places so take your pick...usually its Mexican...La Bamba...always good.

But before we could get there we saw the first of the flu shot clinics we'd seen so we stopped and got a flu shot each of us. I thought that a very good use of time. I was the youngest person in the line... Im living in Geezeer land

Well, while we were eating lunch, Woody gat a call to go for a final interview with the furniture company that declined to hire me in July...that wasnt a good fit but Woody is and I am glad for him. Trouble is that he has to meet with the distric mgr and he is working at the firms new store in Springfield MO, so its a long drive friday for him but it will be worth it...

So he declined to test at the job shopper place but I did and got really good marks for my typing ten key and computer knowledge... The gal that interviewed me said they can tell who learned by doing and who too classes and I was a hands on learner. I was glad they were aexcited and they said they would call me...

While driving home I got a call from a firm that does freight transloading near here and was also very interested in my resume at the Job Fair. So we chatted and likely I will get an interview next week. It already looks good, for as they said my 12 years of experience and my lower salary requirements. (I upped my last salary by 40% and I was still low, I told them I trust them to be fair about it)

For the next three days we are having a neighborhood yard sale. I have funiture as well as other stuff Id love to sell so I will be out bright and early in the morning...

Thats a good use of time as well

October 18, 2005

Change of Season

Autumn Beautsy Near Wooster Ohio

I laid out on my lounger and watched the dawn break this morning. The Lanai faces west so its not a sunrise but its the glowing light of a new day so soft it wraps you up and you dont even realize it until you say "Yikes, its braod daylight out here and I am in my nightgown...

It was lovely and got even better, with bright blue skies 80 degrees and no humidity. The leaves are turning vigorusly red and golden and the wind was stripping them off the trees at a furious pace. I love the change of seasons It is just and amazing spectical.

The leaves disturb the cats as they watch the chipmunks and the squriells run about. They are not sure that trees are friendly...friendy fire...barrage of leaves. Attacking the screen. And the acorns are like little bullets banging on the roof. Im just glad its not something bigger like apples!

There are "pushout" indentations in the lanai screens so we had a talk with the kitties. We reassured them that they are good kitties and cant help it as the little scampering furry creatures are so cute and enticing, but outside is so dangerous. We have seen foxes and a pair of red tail hawks circling...and... we warned them that the furry things that they want so badlly would surprise them and not be like the fuzzy toys the attack. I made up a silly song about it

Please dont catch, the little chipmonk
If you do, you'll be surprised...
They arent like your catnip mousies
When ya catchem, they'll scratch and bite...

I dont think they believe me.


I didnt scratch and bite the Major Doctor today when I went to have my final checkup. Over the week end the hole closed up and looks very good. Very very thankful that all is well with my neck wound, and we are moving forward.

Woody had a job interview and that went well. He is having another one this week and its only monday. I havent looked at my phone but its not rung so I need to make a few calls at the end of the week. But I am glad that Woody is going to get out of the house it looks like we need a bit of money comming in soon.

In the mean time there will be more fairs this week end but we are getting into the act with a neighborhood yard sale this week end so I am getting on the ball to ger a bunch of stuff ready for the sale. Get rid of what we arent using...

Woody is watching baseball. Our Angels went down flaming, so Im not sure that he cares who goes and takes the Series.

It only means that most dreaded of seasons is just around the corner...and its not winter... its basketball season

October 17, 2005

Im Out of My Mind, Please Leave a Message

Golden Afternoon Applegate Arts and Crafts Fair Bentonville Arkansas

I saw this title on a tee shirt a guy was wearing at the Applegate Craft show. It more than adiquately describes my state of mind. I am whacked, pure and simple. I am ashamed to admit it. I am out of shape as far as good ole shopping goes...

But I have been having the time of my life. I needed this.




Street Fair Historic Distric Van Buren Arkansas

Since a week ago friday the state of Arkansas has been in a frenzy of craft fair activity. We have some really big ones near by so we checked thim out. The furthest we drove was last weekend to Van Buren to their street fair. Had a wonderful time and saw the beautiful area south of here. Took some great shots of the sunset and a distant strom generating funnel clouds. We drove home up route 59 criss-crossing in and out of Oklahoma.






Woody at the Fair, downtown Van Buren Arkansas

Woody loves these things as much as I do. He loves talking to all of the different people and of course having a treat or two. I love seeing the various crafts and what people create. Its a never ending surprise to me. Many times I have found that there are things out there that just fill a need in my life or a gap in my decorating... sometims I just buy trinkets for the heck of it.





Woody " What the heck is that?"
Hoku "Its cool, thats what."
Woody " Where is "cool" going in our house?
Hoku " I dont know."
Woody " Great, more yard sale crap..."
Hoku " Its not crap...."

And so on




Methodist Men's fund raising Pancake Breakfast Bella Vista AR

There are a lot of related functions that occur during the fair season. Our church throws a huge pancake breakfast fundraiser during the weekend of the local fairs. We went and the pastor reported yesterday that 1682 people were served a total of 6728 pancakes... These seinors know how to keep accounts.

Up and down the streets its like everyone has waited to have their yard sales until this weekend, cars are for sale and there is homemade funiture on driveways. Churches have Bazzars and there is a bake sale at every store door. Its as though the whole county has set up a giant flea market









Resting at the fair, Bella Vista Arts and Crafts Fair

Last friday, after pancake breakfast, we decided to go to the closest fair to our home which was the Bella Vista Arts and Crafts fair. I was asked at the gate to not photograph goods being sold to protect the intellectual property rights... for heaven sakes is a craft fair... but I respected the rule and this rule was posted at all of the places we visited.








Bandstand Applegate Craft Fair Bentonville Ar.


I did find some great items and ate a lot of samples of different food items and just had a blast. Woody encouraged me as I bought a home made bluebird feeder that you hang on your deck rail and fill with peanut butter. A hand knitted cap that just fit me. I have a large head and hats are hard to find yet I have very fine hair so I should be wearing a cap when out in the sun. The dust really bothered me and at the end of the day we were black to our naked knees.







Applegate Craft Fair Bentonville AR

On saturday we went to the Ole Applegate Fair...Apple gate is about 5 miles or so from home. We could see it in the distance from the rising dust cloud. This was a much larger event, and we were told there were 800 exhibitors there. It was a lot of fun looking at all of the things, and talking to people. Its a feeding frenzy in these things, I cant believe how people can fight over stuff.







Woody taking a breather in the Shade at the ole Applegate Craft fair



Woody is true shopper, likes to go at methodically but after a while a body runs out of steam... How about a real home brewed root beer. It was so good.

However the bulk of my weekend shopping was not done at the fair. Local Stores take advantage of the large influx of folks from other areas and have huge parking lot sales. I was able to buy a bunch of the little odds and ends needed for my decorating here at home for a fraction of the cost. The rules are cash and carry and you must pick it up by dark or its fair game... We loaded my van up friday night with things, and I saw a chair and ottoman that I coveted... I had seen this at the stor regular price 700.00 and they wanted 100.00, but it said "sold" on it. We went back on saturday and there is was still there, unpicked up so I stuffed it and another van load of lamps and tables. Woody was like a cheerleader, Methodology went out the window, he wanted to know when the next truck load was comming, so we could go through it. Nothing matches, but it all goes together like a spicy stew..I love it.










After a hard day of barganing, it was crash time at the Denny's Diner, in Rogers. We discovered this no smoking delight during this shopping adventure and had a chance to meet the manager another transplanted Southern Californian that is loving NW Arkansas. He told us we will never be sorry we came here. I believe it...

Sunday was our day of rest sort of we had a chance to go to a Classical Piano Recital given by Aldo Mancinelli after church, which was a joy. No derth of culture in this land of college football mania...and if that werent enough, we are starting a neighborhood Bible study with our next door neighbors...WE are too busy to get jobs, but the beginning of fair week started with a job fair so as soon as we have all recovered from eating deep fried everything... (I was offered deep fried twinkies, dingdongs, dill pickles, (now that sounded really disgusting) and a bunch of other stuff.... we can start the interviewing. Woody has one today at the furniture company that I interviewed at this summer. I have calls to make...

If I cant get back into my mind, then they will just have to leave a message.



Autumn Splendor...A Maple outside the gates of the fairgrounds

October 16, 2005

Psalm 145-Your Kingdom is an Everlasting Kingdom

Heaven's Gate Torri at Lilioukalani Park HIlo Big Island of Hawaii


Psalm 145


I will extol You, my God, O King;
And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless You,
And I will praise Your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
And His greatness is unsearchable.


One generation shall praise Your works to another,
And shall declare Your mighty acts.
*I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty,
And *on Your wondrous works.
Men shall speak of the might of Your awesome acts,
And I will declare Your greatness.
They shall utter the memory of Your great goodness,
And shall sing of Your righteousness.


The Lord is gracious and full of compassion,
Slow to anger and great in mercy.
The Lord is good to all,
And His tender mercies are over all His works.

All Your works shall praise You, O Lord,
And Your saints shall bless You.
They shall speak of the glory of Your kingdom,
And talk of Your power,
To make known to the sons of men His mighty acts,
And the glorious majesty of His kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
And Your dominion endures throughout all *generations.


The Lord upholds all who fall,
And raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look expectantly to You,
And You give them their food in due season.
You open Your hand
And satisfy the desire of every living thing.


The Lord is righteous in all His ways,
Gracious in all His works.
The Lord is near to all who call upon Him,
To all who call upon Him in truth.
He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;
He also will hear their cry and save them.
The Lord preserves all who love Him,
But all the wicked He will destroy.
My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord,
And all flesh shall bless His holy name
Forever and ever.

October 14, 2005

Gathering Leaves - a poem

Autumn Treasure a carpet of leaves taken near Mansfield Ohio



Gathering Leaves

Spades take up leaves
No better than spoons,
And bags full of leaves
Are light as balloons.

I make a great noise
Of rustling all day
Like rabbit and deer
Running away.

But the mountains I raise
Elude my embrace,
Flowing over my arms
And into my face.

I may load and unload
Again and again
Till I fill the whole shed,
And what have I then?

Next to nothing for weight;
And since they grew duller
From contact with earth,
Next to nothing for color


Poem: "Gathering Leaves," by Robert Frost, from The Poetry of Robert Frost (Holt, Rinehart and Winston).

October 13, 2005

The Job Fair

Malabar Farm Richland Co. Ohio Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall were married here. It is now a state park that demonstrates experimental farming techniques

Well I saw a commercial for a huge job fair at the big Embassy Suite in Rogers so I bludgeoned Woody into getting dressed and the two of us went out there, resumes in hand.

The big three were there Tyson Foods JB Hunt and Walmart and a host of others that were unknown, as well as city and county reps. We worked at applying for different work all morning and we both had several mini interviews. I hope that something turns up...

It wore me out so we arrive home at five and try to do the packing thing on my neck and it was a blooming disaster. Yesterday was bad but this is really bad so its off to major doctor in the morning to get it done right and maybe get more tips. Maybe the fool thing is so healed that I can forgo the masochisim of having the wound stuffed

keeping it short tonight very weary will try again tomorrow

October 12, 2005

Where Was I At Post 23

Fall flowers in the atrium Kingwood Estate, Mansfield Ohio


I have seen this meme on other blogs but I got tagged with it... Thank You Steve, at Wild Olive Branch

1.Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Post the fifth sentence (or closest to it).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.


Well, I never took the time to look up the 5th sentence of the 23rd post and when I did tonight it couldnt be more appropriate, as I was needing to write about this subject...

She's now at the place where she is having trouble taking care of her basic daily tasks like bathing dressing and meal prep.

The date was November 6, 2003 and the post was titled "Malama e Kapuna (caring for the elders)" you can read the whole post when you click on the title.

I had received word that my Mother was no longer able to live on her own and was being forced into a nursing home. At that time she may or not have been able to be in assisted living...but there was no money to send her to a place like that but the state will put you in a nursing home. It was nearly a year later when I saw her and was shocked at the deterioration... Parkinsons is as nasty a waisting illness as you can have, I hadnt seen her since October of 2001 so it had been three years...

It was awful...I wrote about the trip in a series of short bits, you can go back to December 2004 the 10th and the 11th posts or these in particular

first sight

The Rose

Caregiving

Well I got an email from my cousin Lyn and the information inferes that Mom is back in the hospital for bedsores and the treatment of the infections that result. She gets the kind that errupt from with in rather than pressure opening the skin from the outside. The nurses turn her hourly, but as her body breaks down it wont matter... It seems that she cannot hold on much longer but she has surprised us with her vitality thus far.

Cannot speak mostly, cannot eat, cannot move. This is living hell. Pope John Paul II wrote that his struggle with Parkinsons was a true test of his ability to thank God for everything and to offer up his suffering as a sacrifice of praise. I know that this is a hard thing to understand but I have seen it practice and know that it can be done. I have tried to do this these past few weeks with the infection, but its hard.

I dont expect to see her again in this life. I can only hope that she will understand that I have done what I could do and that life has taken me in a far different direction than I had ever imagined. I pray that she will have a peaceful end.

And here I place a post that repeats a poem that I recite to everyone that will listen. We, Woody and I know that life is fleeting and that we cannot count on another day of life.

THE TIME IS NOW authour unknown

If you are ever going to love me,
Love me now, while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow
Love me now
While I am living.
Do not wait until I'm gone
And then have it chiseled into marble,
Sweet words on ice cold stone.
If you have tender thoughts of me
Please tell me now.
If you wait until I am sleeping
Never to awaken,
There will be death between us,
And I won't hear you then.
So, if you love me , even a little bit,
Let me know it while I am living
So I can treasure it.

Wise words... dont wait...tomorrow may be too late


This was a good Meme and I tag the following

Mensa at Mensa Barbie

Smooth at SmoothStone

Esther at Outside the Blogway

Muse at Me-Ander

Norma at Collecting My Thoughts

and if you havent done it, Pattie then be my extra helping on Texas Trifles

Love you all

October 11, 2005

Jihad At Our Door

American Bandstand Town Square in Bellview Ohio 2004

You and I all know that a lot of important news stories get burried under the editorial rug for many reasons, not the least of which the government puts the kabosh on it. Well, I have been following a story that has gotten so little press on the news stations we watch and I only saw it on one blog, the ever watchful SmoothStone. Nothing in the papers... I frankly wondered in the beginning whenit was first posted if my dear Smooth was mis informed and it was a plain old suicide or prank...

Not anymore. Smooths subsiquent posts and personal accounts verified to me and others here in the Tri State area that we have a serious issue here... Heard a dear old guy at church who was there, say that his grandsons friends said that "there are a bunch of "ragheads" here that should be arrested" and then got the story of what was going on at OU where they attend school. Over hearing that remark has lead me to believe that this is a story about jihad here in my backyard and I want to proclaim that. Middle America, this is where THEY are and dont think that for one minute that we are all safe and cozy in our country villages.

First the posts from SmoothStone........

10-06-05 Oklahoma University jihadist tried to buy ammonium nitrate

10-07-05 Update on the Oklahoma University jihadist bomber

10-10-05 University of Oklahoma (OU) Maintains the Façade

I loved this comment

And an editor of the great Oklahoman just got a national award for his stories on Oklahomans in Iraq. Last I heard, the only award The Oklahoman got was recognition as the "worst newspaper in America" in Columbia Journalism Review (1999) Perhaps things are improving.

Not if they are complying with this coverup of a terrorist act at a public event. Should be ashamed of themselves


Here is a post from PebblePie, which she picked up from Vernon Richards of Islam_Undressed (site secured).

Football fans in Oklahoma dodged a bullet Sat Oct 1 2005, and most of the lucky remain blissfully ignorant of how close they came to being the latest victims of Islam’s world-wide Jihad. In a minor report buried amongst the Supreme Court nomination stories, main-stream media reported an apparent suicide by a ‘small’ explosive device by a disturbed Oklahoma Student outside a Sooner’s football game. Poor disturbed Joel Henry Hinrichs III, a distraught engineering student from Colorado, had decided that taking the time to build a powerful explosive vest and blowing himself up near a huge public event was preferable to shooting himself in the head all alone in his apartment he shared with roommates from Pakistan. 87,000 fans only learned about the ‘suicide’ when they were delayed from leaving the stadium for a bit while the site was cleaned up. No one was told that part of the clean-up consisted of rendering harmless an additional large bomb nearby, or that the blast was strong enough to be heard 4 miles away and blow out windows of a building 200 yards away. CNN somehow failed to catch the fact that the boy was a recent Muslim convert sporting the typical beard of the devout. We don’t want to be accused of being insensitive to our peaceful fellow Muslim Americans, so the spin by mainstream media in keeping this huge story off the front page is ongoing.

A lot of additional information has been coming out of this event which has somehow been missed by all but the most conservative news blogs. Apparently the local CBS affiliate in OKC held a report that Hinrichs has been known to visit the local Islamic center around the corner from his apartment. The Norman mosque also happens to be the same one attended by the "twentieth hijacker" Zacarias Moussaoui. But that is not national news, so they stuff it in a small byline.
Read Entire Post Here


I post these reports as I know I have a lot of readers that dont read political blogs and may not know about these events. We need to be vigilent and willing to look at this enemy square in the face, and understand that no quarter will be given in the war on terror. Its more than a war of bullets and bombs, its a battle of ideologies and faiths. Your children are at risk of recruitment just as surly as they are of any cult of gang or cult...This young man could have been your son or daughter...that is what is frightening. The ability to brainwash our young and utilize them in this fashion means that jihad is feasable here in America. Indeed it is here and at our very door.

Meme- What Cute Animal Are You??

Well I think they got this one right, I cant imagine being a duck or a puppy. Cute quiz this one

October 10, 2005

Sunday Night

Pacific Breakers, at twilight Seaview Puna Big Island of Hawaii

Its early evening Sunday night, The Astros have won that amazing game that Woody was watching. Tiger Woods beat native son John Daly, to the moans heard round the subdivision...This is a town that lives for sport above all else. Razorback college football ("team just needs a bit of seasoning thats all", was the talk over coffee in tha parish hall this morning after services...) and even the women talk sports. Woody, the sports nut, is in heaven.

Attended church this morning. Enjoyed the service but I have some major misgivings about the church we are attending. Light on teaching, worship... the average age is 75, but I must say this, I had 20 people around me asking after me. I have never been in a church that looks after its members like this one. I love it. Even the retired Army nurse that we were to call if there were problems walked up introduced herself and said that she wasn't up to much nursing any more but she could talk us though anything. She had a smile that would disarm you and hands that trembled with Parkinsons. 40 years in the US Army, much of it stationed on the west coast and at Tripler Medical Center, Honolulu during Vietnam. She said that Major Doctor "just forgot how long it took HIM to learn to do things and to pay no mind to that, just see to that packing and it will do you both good to look after each other." I know that is right. Woody took great pride in explaining his technique to Nurse Lillian, old enough to be his Mom. She showed him some tricks and said "that it would get harder as things heal up just be careful and wash wash wash. Nurses these days dont scrub enough.".

I sat out on the screened in porch late this afternoon and watched the kitties roll in the sunbeams and warm up. Yes their fur is thicker and fluffier than I have ever seen it. How did our tropical kitties know to grow a winter coat? It was in the 90's until a few days ago... They dont have winter where they come from...Transported thousands of miles to this place of trees and leaves and squirels dancing in the fading sun amidst a bounty of acorns. Woody is inside where it is warm. I have a new pair of wooly sweats on and slippers and dont feel the cold yet...Its been getting down to near freezing at night. Soon it will be too cold to sit out here and do this. The insects are still singing and it reminds me of the night noise of the rain forest and takes me back to nights on the lanai with the cocqui frogs a singing....


Night time quiet brings traffic noise. I can hear the familiar sounds of 18 wheelers on the interstate several miles from here. The traffic whine was not realized when we bought here but it is a soft and pleasant sound. Again like the comforting sounds of the ocean a mile away, the same rise and fall of sounds. Its peaceful city noise from where I sit.

I will be answering some mail this evening and writing to my Mother, which I do several times a week. We have chosen to not have a land line phone and she cannot hear me nor I her on my cel phone. I have called her to no response, and I know that she cannot reach the phone most of the time because they are constantly turning her. So I write and that also provides a measure of control of content. No need for her to worry about stuff she has no control over.

Thank you one and all for your comments your support touches me profoundly. I feel like I have you all in my living room... Wish I could offer you a cup of tea along with the Journey o're My Wide Blue Seas...

October 09, 2005

Mark 13- Is This the Night Of Your Return?

Golden Splendour near Mansfield Ohio... We know that the golden leaves signal a change and their fall means that winter is near... Are the terrible natural events the change of the leaves and the horrors committed man against man the falling of the leaves? I can only say that the day of His return draws ever nearer... even at the very door!

Mark 13

As Jesus was leaving the Temple that day, one of his disciples said, "Teacher, look at these tremendous buildings! Look at the massive stones in the walls!"
Jesus replied, "These magnificent buildings will be so completely demolished that not one stone will be left on top of another."
Later, Jesus sat on the slopes of the Mount of Olives across the valley from the Temple. Peter, James, John, and Andrew came to him privately and asked him,
"When will all this take place? And will there be any sign ahead of time to show us when all this will be fulfilled?"
Jesus replied, "Don't let anyone mislead you,
because many will come in my name, claiming to be the Messiah.* They will lead many astray.
And wars will break out near and far, but don't panic. Yes, these things must come, but the end won't follow immediately.
Nations and kingdoms will proclaim war against each other, and there will be earthquakes in many parts of the world, and famines. But all this will be only the beginning of the horrors to come.
But when these things begin to happen, watch out! You will be handed over to the courts and beaten in the synagogues. You will be accused before governors and kings of being my followers. This will be your opportunity to tell them about me.*
And the Good News must first be preached to every nation.
But when you are arrested and stand trial, don't worry about what to say in your defense. Just say what God tells you to. Then it is not you who will be speaking, but the Holy Spirit.
"Brother will betray brother to death, fathers will betray their own children, and children will rise against their parents and cause them to be killed.
And everyone will hate you because of your allegiance to me. But those who endure to the end will be saved.
"The time will come when you will see the sacrilegious object that causes desecration* standing where it should not be"-reader, pay attention! "Then those in Judea must flee to the hills.
A person outside the house* must not go back into the house to pack.
A person in the field must not return even to get a coat.
How terrible it will be for pregnant women and for mothers nursing their babies in those days.
And pray that your flight will not be in winter.
For those will be days of greater horror than at any time since God created the world. And it will never happen again.
In fact, unless the Lord shortens that time of calamity, the entire human race will be destroyed. But for the sake of his chosen ones he has shortened those days.
"And then if anyone tells you, `Look, here is the Messiah,' or, `There he is,' don't pay any attention.
For false messiahs and false prophets will rise up and perform miraculous signs and wonders so as to deceive, if possible, even God's chosen ones.
Watch out! I have warned you!
"At that time, after those horrible days end, the sun will be darkened, the moon will not give light,
the stars will fall from the sky, and the powers of heaven will be shaken.*
Then everyone will see the Son of Man arrive on the clouds with great power and glory.*
And he will send forth his angels to gather together his chosen ones from all over the world-from the farthest ends of the earth and heaven.
"Now, learn a lesson from the fig tree. When its buds become tender and its leaves begin to sprout, you know without being told that summer is near.
Just so, when you see the events I've described beginning to happen, you can be sure that his return is very near, right at the door.
I assure you, this generation* will not pass from the scene until all these events have taken place.
Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will remain forever.
"However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.
And since you don't know when they will happen, stay alert and keep watch.*
"The coming of the Son of Man can be compared with that of a man who left home to go on a trip. He gave each of his employees instructions about the work they were to do, and he told the gatekeeper to watch for his return.
So keep a sharp lookout! For you do not know when the homeowner will return-at evening, midnight, early dawn, or late daybreak.
Don't let him find you sleeping when he arrives without warning.
What I say to you I say to everyone: Watch for his return!"

October 08, 2005

Control Freak reprised...

Coconut Island Hilo Bay Big Island, The Hawaiians called this small spit of lava flow Mokuolu, the island of healing. It was believed that the bubbling of fresh water springs near the island were healing spirit breath, as the salt water was freshened by this action. If you were prayed over by the Kahuna (priest) and swam around the island three times...or if you were too sick to do this a close member of your family of the same gender could do this as proxy...You would be healed. This healing action has been documented and to this day people are prayed for and do the ritual swim with amazing results. Students of the Bible, I know you can see correlations of this to healings mentioned there... I believe that this is faith in action, touching the hem of His garment, or dipping seven times in the Jordan... We all need faith, we just acquire it at different rates.

I wanted to thank all of you that wrote such wonderful comments to yesterdays post. For posterity's sake I am going to post them in a quote block here on the blog so when Halo scan decides to erase them I wont lose them. I will update them if others post comments as well. Smooth, comment was edited as you desired!

The lack of trust in God gets stronger and stronger as you realise you can’t trust other people. When you have other people about you can relax and trust God but when you don’t have those people you get tensed up. Like when you’re learning to swim and some well-meaning minnie is saying, "just relax and float" and you know you’re so clenched up inside with fear that you’re going to float like a brick. I realised that when I had my accident. Barely conscious and doped up I could see the fear in my elderly father’s eyes and I realised completely that I’m no-one’s little girl anymore and a few hours later I knew there was no point in calling Ol’ Will Lockhart either for measured sympathy and the fear in his voice that I might take myself there to convalesce. My faith was so lousy. It had always been in other people and that God would take care of me via them and when they weren’t there anymore neither was my faith.

And congratulations to Woody. No matter the attitude of the people at the clinic it takes bravery to do that sort of thing.
Luz | Homepage | 10.08.05 - 1:32 pm | #

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How completely touching (everything I've read here today) but in my heart I know (and it's been said before) wherever you are, you are right where you need to be. Bless you all. (-, _ -)
mensa B | Homepage | 10.08.05 - 4:16 pm | #

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Sweet Hokulea, how can I help you? I want to help you. Please tell me what can I do for you. Personally, I am learning that we don't stop maturing and growing and that this process is lifelong. Ok, you already knew that LOL! Seriously speaking, we are not finished pieces of jewelry at any set age, we are works in progress. That's a bumper sticker of a sentiment, but you know I don't write that well but you know what I mean. What I am trying to say is that every day is another day to start over again, to renew a commitment, to restate a vow, to try harder, to be a better person, to love better, to be closer to perfect. If I thought that I was done maturing at 47 years of age, knowing what a f*ck up I really am, I would just pack it all in and take a boat to China. If it means anything, please know in your heart, that I adore you and Luz like nothing else. I'm sending you a big hug. I am not sure I understand Woody's fear regarding your infection, but I understand the fear of intimacy, and the reluctance to trust. I suffer from those myself, so please don't feel (alone) and know that G_d placed inside you a desire to have a joy of life, and that you will know that joy in your lifetime, as it has been promised.
Smooth | Homepage | 10.08.05 - 8:18 pm | #

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This lack of trust bagan early.

Of course it did. That's why you're like that now. If it hadn't happened to you early, you wouldn't be like this. Our early childhood shapes us into the people we become. Have you had any therapy as a child of alcoholic? Your need to control of course comes from the fact that as a child you had NO control...so you're over-compensating. I'm sure I'm not saying anything you don't already know.... but figure it can't hurt to say and validate the feelings you're having. Hang in there!
esther | Homepage | 10.08.05 - 8:44 pm | #

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I know all too well the trials of childhood with an alcoholic parent...To that childhood, add years of marriage to a substance abuser that included alcohol, prescription drugs and street drugs as well. Thank goodness THAT part is, while not ancient, at least history.

And I suppose I will always be a control freak as a result.
Cowtown Pattie | Homepage | 10.09.05 - 12:08 am | #

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I want to answer some of the questions as I think that they fill in gaps in my story.

I entered intensive therapy at BIOLA university in 1988, and was singled out for work with an intern that was to go on and become one of the heads of psychology for the State of California Criminal Justice system, and now works with the FBI. Some of the big names in Christian Counseling today assissted with my case over a 6 year period. If you follow Christian Media you would know several of them, Name dropping isnt why I say this. I know that that God appointed me to be a part of that exciting time at that institution for these were the tools for my recovery, lesser minds would have sent me to a hospital and said "too broken to fix" Where I am today is a result of a lot of very hard work.

To answer Esther's query. yes, as a part of the initial phase of therapy I was required to go to Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings. I did so. Three things happened. I met a number of people that I knew outside of meeting that were a mess after years of work in meeting, two, I had men buzzing around me like flies because they could smell "meat"...my weaknesses attracted them, thats why mixed meetings are not really good for most people and three after a few months of going I realized that I kept hearing the same stories over and over the same rage and pain and fianlly at one meeting I asked this guy..."So, when do you say I forgive you, you rotten set of parents that had rotten parents themselves and didnt know what the heck they were doing... and go the heck forward?" I was thrown out of the meeting.

My counselor knew this would happen. The next night was a session where I told her that I was sick of "the crybabies" that didnt want to get well... she then told me that she knew that would happen and what she did was to sucessfully inoculate me against the permanant pity party of 12 step. Sorry to those that get help from that method, but frankly many people never get throught step four, ie "the searching and fearless moral inventory" and the next steps of confrontation, confession and restitution. The want to spend the rest of their lives bitching about how bad tey had it. I know this, my brother is still stuck in this mode, forever punishing those around him for how bad he had it...

The day after I had this revelation, my first husband left me for good. He had been vacillating for months. I was alone, and could really do the examination required to dig the foundations of a new life. Two weeks later, I had my 14 word conversation with God that has radically changed my life. I still needed the six years of human guidance, which also included a relentlessly demanding job, a relentlessly demanding church, where I was involved in a ministry that was so... out in front of people that I compaired it to polishing metal, the more I led worship, stood in front of the church, the more transparent my life became the more I saw the faults left in me and the less I wanted to be,act,and think like the old me. I was hammered and forged, sandblasted and polished and rejoiced in that. I liked how I was turning out and was glad of it even when it hurt.

at 17 I wanted to be a United States Marine, but failed the physical. A Marine I know told me that the training I got was as tough mentally, emotionally and physically as any military could dish out. It tempered me into an adult that could handle a lot of things and was as functional as nearly anyone I would care to meet. It was an acheivement considering that I was slated for permanat confinement in a mental institution or death by my own hand...

Counselling ended in late 1993. I graduated sort of... basically they kicked me out by weaning me off. I had survived the horrible death of my father, ajustment to life on my own. I was advancing in my carreer in International Shipping and was doing very well. A month after that I met Woody. All seemed as it should be...

Two years later, a month into a marriage that was a mistake, a church and ministry in ruins, my carrer over, due to corporate colapse and bankruptcy, and my health shattered to the point where in may of 1994 I was given 6 months to live. I was as Jan stated "Light years away, yet just around the corner from where you started..." I realized that I was very much like the people in this verse

"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: The One who holds the seven stars in His right hand, the One who walks among the seven golden lampstands, says this:
'I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false;
and you have perseverance and have endured for My name's sake, and have not grown weary.
'But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.
'Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place--unless you repent.
'Yet this you do have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans,(placing the teachings of certain men above the Word, the cult of celebrity and personality were getting way out of hand in this denomination I was a part of ) which I also hate.
'He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will grant to eat of the tree of life which is in the Paradise of God.'

The Revelation of Jesus Christ 2:1-7

So I repented of pride and trying to do it all myself and started over, but this time took the counsel of wise people that I was to meet along the way. One was a professional therapist but others were pastors wives and othes I was to meet at my new church and at my job at a faith based financial institution. Later in Hawaii, it was wise speaking from friends and of course a constant flow of study of the Bible and early Church fathers.

I am back at the place of doing the first works again I think, and this time I am not alone in the repenting and starting over. I have a very humbled husband that is trying to sort out his own life, and I am surrounded by friends in this neighborhood (was moving here an accident, no way!) I have a number of possible roads as far as corporate worship is concerned, any one of them will be enlightening. And I feel that I have sat on the bench long enough and need to get back to work in the ministry again. Maybe I am already and dont know it.

Physically I need work on gaining my health back. This recent event is symptomatic of the over work lack of good food and sleep engendered by the Hawaii/have ones own business/menopause/and the Huakai (long journey). I already feel better for being here and now I need to get into a good ruetine with good habits.

Pattie- a certain amount of control is good that is what has made you a great Mom. I salute you for moving on and making better chioces for your life. It shows.

Luz,- Woody thanks you for your prayers. It was a beast today I was at the screaming stage, as the opening is healing closed normally... uggh. I believe that this whole thing is a metaphore for a lot of baggage in my life that is also being dealt with right now.... and to you and Smooth I think this is a normal place to be at this time in our yours and my life. This middle time when we regroup and rethink and refocus our energy into what we know God wants us to do...not just what the world says we should do. Its harder for me as I am a stranger in a strange land... But I will become familiar and this place is welcoming and we are feeling more and more at home.

You are all a part of this too. My Wide Blue Seas is a vehicle for recovery and learning. I have learned from each of you from your comments and your own writing. You bless me beyond words. Thank you for your comments and may God bless every one of you that read my blog.

October 07, 2005

Control Freak

Quiet Street in Nashville Ohio...

Hello, my name is Hokulea and I am a control freak...If there was Control Freak Anonymous, Id be heading there to attend a meeting, where I could confess to God and my brothers and sisters what a mess I am.

I thought I was done thinking like this but as a dear lady therapist/confessor once said to me "Never Never Never forget who you are and where you have come from, for you are light years away, yet just around the corner from where you were when you started this quest. She was so right.

I began to take a mental survey last night when we left Major Doctors office. Since comming down with this infection in my neck having to deal with it has been a "pain in the neck". Not just the actual care, but peoples attitudes. Truth be told,no one has really wanted to deal with it straight up. I have felt like an imposition at every level, from the doctor, who while has been professional has made me feel like I really had to "suck it up and figure out a way to deal with this my self..." To Woody who dallied around and said he didnt want to help me cause he was afraid to. I had to tell the Major this every day this week, which I think disgusted him as everyone in the medical office felt this was so easy to deal with.

Neighbors and friends were intimidated, and home helth service felt it was beneath them... Personally I have hated this whole episode as I have felt like a whiner like I have not felt for nearly 10 years....

Having had HMO's and insurance, or when not insured never having a problem, by God's amazing grace, I have never had to deal with this. If this had been an HMO issue, they'd have had me in the hospital for the first 24 hours, then had a nurse out or me to the clinic. Here in Bella Vista, the nurse thing is the norm.

What would they have done with me had I been alone? What they didnt understand is that while Woody and I are contractually attached at the hip, there is no physical relationship. Without that sort of connectedness you just dont feel as attached, and he doesnt. So when I need something, I have to get it myself, or do without... I would rather have it this way anyway, as then I am assured that my basic needs are met.

Im told that this having to take charge and control everything is a survival mechanisim. Others would say that I am not a control freak that I dont care about order and I dont have to be the one in charge of everything. No, I can delegate well and have no problem with out comes of that.

No its personal. I know that if I have a need that I need to be met I have to go out and take care of it myself. That deep in my heart, no one nothing not even God can be trusted to take care of me. This is a falure at a deep deep level and affects the most importants aspects of life. This sort of control freak-ism effects the eternal well being of the sufferer. For the Bible says...

And they were bringing children to Him so that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked them.
But when Jesus saw this, He was indignant and said to them, "Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
"Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all."
And He took them in His arms and {began} blessing them, laying His hands on them.

Mark 10:13-16

This lack of trust bagan early. Once, a friend that I served in the ministry with told me that I needed to "develope childlike faith" I said "give me an example" He then told me that if one of his kids came in from playing and asked him to make them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, they would go back outside knowing that he would do it for them...I laughed at him and told him that "he was one of the best father's I had ever met, and of course hed do it... let me tell you about my experience... If I wanted a PB and J,I knew better than to ask my parents they were so involved in their problems of alcoholism, and mutual mental illness, that I would have to push up a chair to the counter to get the stuff down to make the sandwich, then I wouldnt just make one, Id make 4, two for me and two for my little brother, one for now and one for later, cause you just never knew at my house when meal time was..." It made this man cry, who had seen my careful looking out of the alley door at the church at night to check for creeps and the triple door locks on my house. Even now I do not trust that people will show up for appointments, or that return phone calls will come mostly they dont...

My slogan is that if in life you require something, you'd best be prepared to get it yourself. That creates a control freak. Childlike faith is a luxury I cannot afford.

Well, Woody decided he could do the "packing" in my neck and a darn good job of it he did. Actually it hurt less than when Major doctor does it. We arent sure if it was done exactly right, I didnt care, at least it was done.

Maybe someday things will come to apoint in my life where I can say yes I have developed the kind of faith that is described in Mark chapter 10. I am working on it step by step. One day perhaps I will be able to truly let go but today is not that day

October 06, 2005

Fellow Travelers on the Road of Life

The Red Road to Pohiki, Puna. Called the "Red Road" because locals dump loads of red cinder on the road in front of their property. Also much of the land here is scared burial land for the Native Hawaiians and in the old days tresspassing was punishable by death

I wrote a post yesterday but Blogger ate it, and it so bad anyway that I didnt care to reconstruct.

Getting boring here at MWBS. Its cause Im not doing anything and I am getting restless, practically lashed Woody into dragging the boxes of books into the house so I could start going through them, and shelving them. I think that I need about 3 more bookcases to finish shelving. This house has about the same wall space but the book cases I bought at the scratch and dent place are a lot smaller. Anyway need more furniture...

There will be a bit of excitement here in the morning Woody is going to try to stuff my neck. Major Doctor is hitting the road and getting his poor wife away for the weekend which I applaude, but I have to keep changing this dressing, so my good progress will continue to continue. Woody is really mentally gearing up for this.. Hey its going to take our relationship to a whole new level.

I am so glad that at this particular time in my life I have been able to meet so many great people via Blogging, I find that its the best therapy just signing in...

When I start to complain I pull up this blog "Operation Eden" a guy blogging out of his car in south Mississippi. Young man looking after his Mom. Breaks ny heart.

For laughs I went to Kitten With a Whip, she is a little crazy sometimes, but I found contemplating confronting Woody with this little number hillarious... too bad they dont sell it in Plus Size, hey big girls wanna have fun too.

And if Kitten wasnt crazy enough she found this spoof of a blog featuring our pending newbie Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. My dissapointment with my president has been capped by this nomination. Its depressing.

Inspriation has been sorely needed in my life and now its here in luz en invierno Luz the Magpie and her creative eye delight me. Then there is John Bailey of journal of a writing man His tales of his life in England, even the small things move me. Tonights post on how the higher fuel prices are affecting him hit home. We filled up our gas tank and due to the fact that this is a rented tank we had to buy gas from THEM, and they are the most expensive...naturally. What is happening to all of the retirees here that have the same issues that John does.

Then there is Smooth and Cowtown Pattie When I am down they always cheer me up.

Fellow Travelers all, gives me heart and encourages me to keep on.