June 30, 2005

Making Hay While The Sun Shines

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Fields of Gold- hayfields that have been cut and bundled into these huge bales Taken on the front lawn of Petersen Farms Corporate Operations offices near Decatur Arkansas

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Woody and I are facinated by hay making. It started in Ohio last year where we saw these huge tubular hay bales and we couldnt figure out how they got the grasses so tightly rolled up. It was such a contrast to the Amish farms with their traditional haystacks, and we KNOW how that is done... pure human sweat power. Being it was October, that was the last crop we saw being dried for the winter. A forklift like device picks them up and loads them on a flat bed and we assume they are stored someplace.

Upon arriving in Arkansas in the late spring we saw the other end of the process and a number of times, as we drive through a farm area, we have pulled over, braving dust, hayfever and the drainage ditch to watch this unusual looking machine cut then sort of line the grass up then come around again and scoop it up, eventually producing this carpet roll of a hay bale.

A special manger or feeding appliance is required for these monster bales and we again had seen them empty in pastures around Mansfield Ohio and werent sure what they were until we saw a forklift (Woody has been in the forklift biz for years and finds this facinating, never thought of a forklift as a farm tool) hauling one of these rolls out and depositing it on the metal "stand". Sort of looked like a candle, or a birthday cake on a cake stand. All I know is the cows were thrilled and ate like crazy, thats their job you know. Sometimes fields that we have seen cows on are mowed like this so the cattle get fed and they get hay off it for sale. I love the system, and how it cycles and the farmer has little to do but see that the hay is cut on time in a cyclical way to promote the next rounds growth.
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Where this shot was taken this company factory farms chickens so they are raising this for sale. Rather than have a huge grass lawn, that takes maintaining, and gives back... well only golf course lawns seem to thrive in this heat, and that takes a huge amount of water and we are in a drought situation...so lawns arent practical,but this getting your lawn to earn its keep is a great idea and I like it.

We have seen this at public buildings and corporate offices like the JB Hunt offices near Lowell (gated or Id have shot a picture of that... a fortune 500 firm in the hay biz. )I see i as a wise use of nature's resources and a understanding of the nature of the landscape of this rural area. Would that open areas could be kept around all commercial buildings like this. Maybe it will only be for a short time untill "the northwest corridor" as its called, from Bella Vista to Fort Smith is too grown up to allow these bits of it rural past to be maintained.

June 29, 2005

Going Postal

still life taken at the Dixie Cafe Rodgers Arkansas...I needed one of these after taking the first of two Postal exams...I have ache head.

Im so weary, but glad and looking forward to the "next day". Things are moving along for us. We see our new lives beginning to form. Praying and waiting, not trying to push in any one direction, but seeing what God is going to show us...

We realized with Woody going to start at Wal Mart and my needing to look for work and might end up in the post office here, I needed a vehicle and if we could find a good clean mini van that would be optimum, So we went to a sled lot and low and behold, an older Toyota Sienna Minivan with higer mile than we'd like but it was pristine inside...I dont think the rear seats were ever used...

Woody negotiated such a sharp deal on the van that the owner of the lot hired him on the spot. Its a strictly commission job, but the enviroment is none regimental, shorts and aloha wear. Lots of young people come in there needing a ride and needing help to get one and that is the sort of thing that he loves to do. So he starts tomarrow and they are cool about letting him off for the wedding that he is in next week...cant believe that is comming up so quickly.

I answered a call for testing for Rural Carrier Associates for the Post Office. These are the mostly ladies that sort and deliver mail along the highways and byways of Rural America. These are the mail delivery people that go through the rain sleet and snow to deliver your mail. I have questions about if I can do it, but if I dont pass the test, I wont ever know. The biggest challenge I think is to drive up to a box and sitting in the PASSENGER seat stuff the box. I have watched these gals both in Hawaii and in Arkansas drive in the middle of the van and deliver out of the passenger side. Regular Mail vehicles that can sometimes be bought at auction are not reccomended, but many minivans convert to right handed steering easily, and the one we bought is one of the best for this "surgery". We had no idea.

Now this test was not the big Battery 473 test that is like the Civil Service exam and is given every three to five years. Normally there are not too many openings in the postal service, but here in Arkansas, with the population exploding, there are going to be twenty new post offices opening and most of the smaller ones are expanding. I met people today that were hired by postmasters sans tests because they were so desparate for a pair of hands to help. If they pass the test they can stay if not another of us will get those jobs...

I applied for the 473 for the offices near Eureka Springs, a long drive, but these could be "inside" jobs and not just letter carriers . In mid July the 473 will open this area around Fayetteville and I will be applying for that as well. If I get a chance to interview they will find out that I have used a a number of mail processing devices including the type of machine that puts the barcode on letters,(its the same that puts the amounts on written checks so that amount comes out of your bank account, did that for 4 years in the Credit Union I worked in). Also in post office operations and clerical jobs are open. The pay for entry level is mind boggling. For this woman office worker, whos average hourly wage over the course of her life time is not quite 8.00 per hour... the prospect of 17.00 plus a stipend for the car...heavens I might be able to save a bit for my old age...

I have a sample test, and was going to post some of the interesting, sort of brain teaser questions they had on there, but we were admonished not to do such things, nor to discuss the contents of the test... OK. Oath of Silence for the Secrect Society!

Its going to be interesting to be on my own for a whole day here. My first as Woody and I have spent most of the past 6 months in each other's company, than in and of itsself is enought to make me "go postal" I miss my peace and quiet, and not having to have something to do all of the time... there is no time to think.

June 28, 2005

The Face of Courage

This is the face of courage. Gang raped at the order of a village official, Mukhtaran Mai refused to continue to be a victim, but has gone against all of her tribal custom and pressed charges agaist the men that did this to her... read this article from the Daily Telegraph about this courageous woman and her desire for justice


Fighting for justice... gang-rape victim Mukhtaran Mai. Picture: REUTERS.

Bravest woman in the world


By SAMI ZUBEIRI

June 29, 2005

ISLAMABAD: Pakistan's Supreme Court is hearing an appeal against the acquittal of five men who allegedly gang-raped a woman on the orders of a village council.


Victim Mukhtaran Mai's appeal will be a test case in Pakistan where, like other parts of South Asia, women often suffer brutal "honour punishments" including rape and murder to pay for the alleged crimes of relatives.

The 33-year-old was raped for more than an hour in June, 2002, on the orders of a tribal council in the remote village of Meerwala in reprisal for her brother's alleged affair with a woman from a powerful rival clan.


Six men were sentenced to death in August, 2002, after she defied local customs and testified.


But Lahore High Court acquitted five of them on appeal on March 3 and commuted the sentence of the sixth to life imprisonment.


The decision shocked the country and was condemned around the world. The Supreme Court opened the case and adjourned it until today after a 45-minute hearing on legal matters.


"I have high hopes. I hope the original verdict will be upheld and that my attackers will be punished," Ms Mai said.


Pakistan came in for further criticism earlier this month when President Pervez Musharraf barred Ms Mai from travelling to Washington to meet top US officials and rights groups to discuss abuses against women in South Asia.


Mr Musharraf was reported as saying he ordered the ban because he thought her US visit would give Pakistan bad publicity.


Islamabad dropped the travel ban a few days later after the US said it was "dismayed" and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice secured a personal pledge from Pakistani Foreign Minister Khurshid Kasuri. Pakistan denied it bowed to US pressure.


Yesterday, Ms Mai said the Government had finally returned her passport, which it confiscated when it placed her on the so-called exit control list.



Ms Mai has previously urged Mr Musharraf to intervene in the case, saying her life was in danger if the accused were allowed to move freely.


Ms Mai met Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz in March and he ordered the suspects to be locked up again despite their acquittal.


However they were released this month, at the same time the travel ban became public knowledge.


The case has shone an unflattering spotlight on the treatment of women in Pakistan and on the tribal justice that persist in parts of the conservative Islamic country.


Ms Mai became a rights campaigner after the rape.


She embarked on a mission to improve girls' education in Pakistan, where 72 per cent of women are illiterate. She used money she received in compensation after the rape to set up her district's first school for girls.

Look friends at her face, this is the face that has borne up to the evil fruits of a false religion that hates women.

She continues to be abused by people (men) that say they follow a "Religion of Peace". Men who say that the sharia law honors women...Dont honor me, pal... We in the west need to be very concerned about the menace of Islam and how if it takes hold here in the US the way it has in Europe it will be a disaster.

Dont ever say to me, "Islam is a religion of peace that honors women and seeks justice", you'll have to get out of my way before I am violently ill, then violently angry. The God I serve would have it so, for we are to root out the false prophet and the evil cults...speak against falsehood, and defend the defenseless. WE in America need to wake up and see the danger posed by people that believe that what was done to this woman was justice. They the islamists want to bring such laws into our legal system, to honor themm side by side with our own laws... we do so at our peril.

June 27, 2005

The Monster Beside You

Beautiful shaded street in downtown Eureka Springs Arkansas

"He seemed so normal"
"He was a loyal member of the church"
"Yes, I went to court against him years ago, but just recently I introduced him to my daughter... I wonder if I was on his short list?"
"I cant believe the lack of remorse, he's been my neighbor for years!"


Yes in Wichita Kansas, the nearly 40 year reign of terror of the BTK Serial KIller has come to an end in a courtroom today. City employee, deacon of the Lutheran Church, husband of 34 years and father of three children, would kill his victims after telling them that he had a problem, take care of little things like giving water to a lady, or a toy to a child... before he tortured them, smothered them then committed acts of necrophilia.

This sub human monster, that snuffed the precious lives of at least ten people, was truly conciousless as he recounted his horrible crimes in a matter a fact tone... It only leads me to one conclusion, as I raced for the bathroom to heave as I heard the details... (I cant believe that they put that on dinnertime telly...)

Hug your children... Tell your parents that you love them. Have a grudge or are angry with someone? Get over it, forgive and tell them...cause you dont know that you will have the chance tomorrow...

Because a monster may be seated beside you... or in the case of BTk's wife, lying beside you... you never know.

June 26, 2005

In Your Light, We See Light

Heavenly Light- Dawn at Holiday Island Arkansas






PSALM 36

Thoughts on Man's Wickedness and God's Perfections
To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David the servant of the Lord.


An oracle within my heart concerning the transgression of the wicked:
There is no fear of God before his eyes.
For he flatters himself in his own eyes,
When he finds out his iniquity and when he hates.
The words of his mouth are wickedness and deceit;
He has ceased to be wise and to do good.
He devises wickedness on his bed;
He sets himself in a way that is not good;
He does not abhor evil.


Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens;
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the great mountains;
Your judgments are a great deep;
O Lord, You preserve man and beast.


How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!
Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house,
And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures.
For with You is the fountain of life;
In Your light we see light.


Oh, continue Your lovingkindness to those who know You,
And Your righteousness to the upright in heart.
Let not the foot of pride come against me,
And let not the hand of the wicked drive me away.
There the workers of iniquity have fallen;
They have been cast down and are not able to rise.

June 25, 2005

Who Owns the "Aina ?

Shaded Garden near Laupahoehoe Hawaii

In the old days the King owned all of the land and he parceled out the choicest real estate to those that pleased him or to whom he owed favors...

Seems that things are not so different today. Today in a 5-4 decision, our Supreme Court upheld court decisions that allow city and state government to take YOUR home and give the land to someone else...You will be compensated, but how much is unknown and there is no dollar value on ties to the land based on family or time...A city can make a sweet heart deal and just steal your home and give it to the highest bidder for the sake of "public good"...Makes me ill just to think about it.

I have lived with eminent domain much of my life. I saw school friends forcibly moved out of their homes when a freeway project came through our area. Got pennies on the dollar for their houses, just before the first of the great California land booms in the 70's. This was a crime, which is still a bitter subject for those that suffered from this horror.

But California doesn't hold a candle to Hawaii. From the overthrow of the Royal family, till today, the government of Hawaii leads the way in stealing lands from people to give them to another party. While we were living there on the Big Island we watched as the County council tried to steal land from a lady that had bought and improved this land that the county wanted for a parking lot. She improved it for that purpose and offered it for sale at the market price. The county wanted it for a fifth of that. As though it were raw land still. She was fighting them and now will lose, and it makes me want to scream,

According to this article in the Honolulu Star Bulletin, Hawaii leads the way in such seizures. In the Independent Hawaii Reporter, the Public owns your homeand that we are looking down the edge of an abyss

I always thought that My home was my castle... But the barbarians are at the gates and breaking down the doors

June 24, 2005

Scattered Thoughts

Pink and Red Torch ginger in a swath of wild sugar cane... Hilo Bay front in the background...near Lilioukalani Park Hilo Hawaii


I have too much time on my hands. I need to do something... yet I feel the malaise of the lost... I am applying for jobs and have the postal exam on the 29th...the dishwasher to clean out and I could cook a fabulous meal. I have a two month back log of mail to answer and need to start to think about sending out change of address cards...

Insted I sit and think.

I think about where we are... the wind was blowing and it made me think of Hawaii. It is very warm almost oppressively so... The kitties sititng in a sun beam more content by the day... They accept our will in this matter being forcebly removed from their natal place...Why cant I accept the Will of a Higher Authority that has brought me here... I dont know...

Its hard for me to focus... I think of the future in the new house how I will get things organized and ready. We will have our first house guests in September... I am not sure if things will fit ect...

This sense of "not fitting" things being out of balance is very uncomfortable for me, who grew up in a home where things were somewhat regulated there sre no surprises of a positive nature...

I had nightmares about Mak getting out here. As we came in tonight he was more wanting to greet than wanting to escape from us as I angrily shooed him away from the entrance. Its nerves...as he has never bolted for the door ever in his life... Fortunatly he is the most good natured cat I have ever had and he just continued to meow as if to say "Oh Mummy, dont get your hair in a knot!"

Do you ever think that you create problems just because... Woody and I think we do this just to make trouble for ourselves a sort of self sabatage... will be praying about that. We think that we did this with the car issue, now that we are several days beyond our silly adventure of trying to get two cars for the price of one, we realized that was a lot of heartburn for nothing. Better to look for a ride for Woody in the papaer and just not make a huge deal out of it. Right now all we need is the one car.

Years ago I made a commitment to live everyday as though it were my last on earth. I feel restless as though I am wasting time. I remember how it was in Waikoloa in 2001. I stedfastly refused to spend my days in front of the TV watching the towers being blown to bits again and again, it was brutally hot as that area of the Big Island is with a desert wind, so all you can do is stay in. I must admit I am much better served now. I have a computer...and the kitties to play with and a greater sense of life... I just need to grab on some how...

So I am redeeming the time. Woody and I realized that it would be really easy to go through more of the cash from the sale of the house than we need to by laziness so he challenged me to figure out a better investment than his stock port folio he inherited from his sister... I say real estate and so we are looking at possibly buying another property here in Bella Vista to rent out like the place we are currently living in. Huge demand for this sort ofunit... not enough rentals in this area so its a interesting idea.

Another interesting idea is getting a job... one of the neighbors sugessted I start my own business... I laughed and told him I needed a pay check not a baby to look after... He didnt get it... I know that you do...

I am trying to spend some of the excess time in spiritual reading, and regret that all of my Bibles got packed and I have only my travel edition that is too smal a print for leisurly reading. I found a Bible here in the unit and with a book that forwarded in the mail, I ordered it months ago, I am enjoying this extra hour with God. The book is on Gurtrude of Helfta, a 13th century German nun whose writings are a tretise on a Spirit filled life. For many Evangelical Christians they dont know or understand the great riches of these writers of the earlier days of our church and miss out on a great treasure.

I also have some blog projects to work on including a 2005 addendum to my writings on the World Trade Center Bombings on my blog Lux Aeterna For those of you that have not looked at this blog this was or rather is a personal look at the events of 9-11 based on the liturgy of the Lux Aeterna memorial mass. I hope to write a additional section to update the continual recovery effort by myself and our nation on an annual basis. We shall see.

I need to think about it... no wait I already think too much...maybe I will take a nap insted. Com'on kitties....

speaking of kitties, our wickedly funny friend Mr. Simon at his This Blog is Full of Crap, is hosting the 144th Carnival of Vanities. I am not a big plugger of these blogging events as I am such small potatoes that I dont feel qualified... but his cats are the cat's meow. Queen Edloe hosts the carnival and the photos and commentary are a scream, plus you are introduced to some really great writers on a lot of subjects.. take a read...

June 23, 2005

Work In Progress

the ripped out shower at our house, its a work in progress

all goes according to plan. I am so looking forward to getting out of the suitcase life, and into a real house a real home again.

I was notified today that I qualified to take the postal exam so I am taking the test on the 29th of this month. This is a part time position as a rural carrier. We are familiar with this as we had this type of delivery in Hawaii The pay is fantasic. even of I work on day a week it will be the worth it


We have spent the past two days on car lots trying to buy another car. I find this process boring stressful and boggling to the mind. the dealing and all of the accounting, money off this or that...blast it all to hades... anyway we are looking but I think we wont be buying this week.

I understand how we misunderstood the issues with the Inrepid as I shop cars. Tell me people how can a normal person afford a vehicle? We are seeing 26-40 k for a truck? its crazy when does this stop? I have never earned more than 12.50 an hour, If I were alone I wonder how I would make it?

One thing we did was take delivery on some of the furniture we have bought as the furniture here in the rental is little more than firewood masqurading as antiques. This stuff breaks where we sit on it, even the beds, the bed I sleep in colapsed on me. Chairs creak and the tables are rickety. So I have a lovely leather chair and ottoman to sit on. Its pure bliss. I am blogging away and loving it.

My gutted dining room...for heaven sakes girls get rid of the hideous swinging light! the lady construction workers carefully stripped off the wall paper that was stuck on the plaster board. the deviding wall between the two rooms has been removed...Debbie is masking off for painting.

nearly all of the demolition is done now and the painting is supposed to be done today. On schedule as promised....

June 22, 2005

War Eagle Mill

The War Eagle Mill. the only working water powered stone grist mill left in the USA. Woody and I drove out there sunday and had a great time. It was facinating to hear the story of the mill and the people that rebuilt the mill and run it. You can read more about it at their site, you can also shop online and buy their lovely granite wear and cornbread mix... really really good.

On the third floor of the mill was this lovely cafe that specialized in the local regional favorites all made with grains milled there at the mill. The cornbread was to die for.

Wild turkeys on the wall of the Bean Palace resturant War Eagle Mill

the Bean Palace resturant on the third floor of the War Eagle MIll. Country cooking all breads baked with flours ground there at the mill

The "bagging room" where the ground meal or flour is sifted and bagged

War Eagle mill wheel race

playing down stream below the mill War Eagle, Arkansas

The War Eagle Mill the mill dam and the wheel is behind the wall

Barn and pasture land along the War Eagle river War Eagle Mill

log Cabin in the woods, War Eagle farms

June 21, 2005

War Eagle Caverns

Entrance to War Eagle Caverns. Known locally as the "bat cave" it has been in continuous summer use for a 1000 years as a resting place along the War Eagle river, and Beaver Lake which was not as large then as it is today and as a "hunting lodge" for the Osage and Cherokee peoples as the hunted this game filled valley in mutual accord. War Eagle was a real figure in local history and you can read about him here


I am a confirmed claustrophobe. The idea of being underground in small spaces just gives me the creeps...but this place is a site that I wanted to see. Tales of the Cherokee, the Civil war battles and an intrest in learning about my new area. Let us go below into the depths...

The new kid in town. The front "room and chamber above the one we were standing in (the ceiling here is the floor of that) is the nursery chamber for War Eagles colony of brown bats. This tiny "kitten" is newly flying on "his" own and was about 6 feet above my head, hanging from the roof. He was adorable as only babies are trying to shield his eyes from our lights, I could clearly see the tiny ears and delecate membraine of the wings. The colony doubles in size every five years , and is carefully managed and the bats monitored. They provide useful insect control in an area in sore need of such... I have never seen so many bugs in my life

the stench of guano was repulsive, but was only present in this front area. There was pleanty of standing area, necessary for a bat as they must have airspace to take off. They cannot take off from the ground, but must fall into flight.

Going down. I am standing 60 feet below the surface looking up into this "chimney", a soft place in the bedrock where the pressure of the river pushed upward, creating this shaft. When it broke through it must have been like a gyser cascading many feet into the air...

Rockfall... I am a confirmed claustrophobe and this sort of thing with the sounds of the underground river beneath my feet was highly unnerving. But I really wanted to see the cave for it has great historical significance here in the area.

Both Woody and I oversized and not really sure on our feet did really well on the wet muddy trails. There was some stooping and bending, but the guide was very supportive and all of the people in the group were cordial.
War Eagle Caverns, War Eagle Arkansas

This working still was found in the cave when it was opened to the public in the 70's . The large "room" in theis potion of the cavern was reputed to be one of the hide outs for Jesse and Frank James. While there are no bones there are some artifacts that show this was a waystation and not a permanant home for anyone including native Americans, likely due to the rising of the river every spring that washes out the caverns

Living Waters. Some of the best water we have had flowing from this natural spring. This underground riiver feeds Beaver lake and provided water to hundreds of Union and Confederate soilders that came here to recover from wounds suffered in the battle of Prairie Grove just a few miles away. As this valley had been for the Indians it was a place of truce for both sides...

Rock formations inside of War Eagle Caverns War Eagle AR

the way out . I was very glad to see day light after spending two hours under ground. War Eagle Caverns War Eagle Arkansas

the finger end of Beaver lake that points to War Eagle Caverns, War Eagle Arkansas. This lake was likely not this close to the cave when the indians used it, as the lake is dammed and controlled now.

June 20, 2005

The Weatherman

10th fairway at The Greens of Tanyard Creek Golf Course Bella Vista Arkansas


The Car Salesmen said...

"You know it is hotter here
than in Los Angeles.."
I laughed within and thought
"How can they know?"

I can speak of thirty eight summers
enduring the Santa Anna
Devil Wind, burning desert heat
brittle dried brush, and canyons

Mountains and coastal ranges
turned into infernos
Dream homes, beach shack and mansion
become the ashes of nightmare.

Septembers days of raging wind
become October's blazing fall,
The ground so dry and heated, cracked
it makes the earth shake

Oh, you Southern men
your leafy trees
Your oceans of green leaves
speak of a softer clime

Of rain, misted mornings then
afternoons of sun soaked humidity
Soft breezes, Gulf stirred
or sent by northern winds

Ozark Summer's Thunderheads
white mountains of clouds
Bearing lighting and voluminous rain
possibly tornados

If your luck has run out...

June 19, 2005

I Have No Fear

A literal translation from the German "and we also go through the dark, we have no fear"... Portion of the Berlin Wall on the grounds of the country church at the Great Passion Play Eureka Springs Arkansas


Psalm 23


The Lord is my shepherd;
I have everything I need.


He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.


He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.



Even when I walk
through the darkest valley, even death,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.



You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You welcome me as a guest,
anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.



Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.



From the New Living Translation

June 18, 2005

All Hawaii All The Time

The Wild Shores of Kau, Waves beating the Pahoehoe at Punalu'u Beach Park Kau Big Island

This all happened in one afternoon/evening...

While standing at Hanks's Furniture we overhear a guy say to a group of people hes with "hey, those folks over there lived in Hawaii, lets go ask them about that... " Which they did and we had a 30 minute Q&A on life on the islands...

While sitting in La Fajita's in Bentonville at the table next to us, a group was talking about going to a luau on an up comming Hawaiian vacation and one of the guys leaned over to Woody and says "hey there you look like you just came back from Hawaii did you go to a luau while you were there? " Woody looks at me, and says "Im buying new clothes", hes generally in aloha wear as that is all hes got . I said "what island?" The blank look told me that they didnt know where they were going, so I said "Big Island, The King Kam , Oahu, Polynesian Cultural center, best show of all, Kauaii the Drums of Paradise. , and on Maui there are too many good ones...They were sitting with mouthes open. We went on eating...

I am in Lowes picking out lighting and the YOUNG (maybe 19) man helping me said, with a dreamy look, "my wife and I were just married and honeymooned there on Maui and we talk about just packing it up and going there and living on the beach... I took him by the arm and said "Dear, let me tell you how things really are... and we sat down at the desk aand I told him the horrors of blue tarp living for those that just show up and expect to live off of the land..."Save up and vacation there you will be a lot happier here in Arkansas."

Braums Broiler and Grocery store... Two waitresses chatter..."I am going to Hawaii to live on the beach and meet some hot looking guy... yeah just to go there, can you imagine living there?" Their breathless wonder and starstruck looks appalled me...Woody and I just look each other and order up an additional scoop of fabulous ice cream, to soothe our wounded souls by its wonderfulness and the fact that two huge scoops are only 1.85.

The long drive from Siloam Springs in the country. Beautiful country, a dream for city folks longing for clean air and rolling hills and dense forests. I found myself thinking about the social outing we went to last night. Woody played golf with the neighbors, and we got together for pizza at Lake Avalon Park and as I looked at the people there I thought " Gee, I am the youngest person in theis group... I am the youngest person living in this subdivision...What in the world am I doing here? I am here because of Woody who is thriving here..."


Sit down in front of the TV, and who should be on but Lelo and Stitch. Go beyond the silly alien story and look at the dysfuntional hurting orphaned sisters that lost parents and brother in an accident, the acting out by 7 year old Lelo and 18 year old Nani's struggle to make a living working the three minimun wage jobs required to survive. The struggle to juggle it all and the fact that no one in authority helps you, the system just beats you down when it finds you at all. I began to cry when I heard the mele (chant) at the opening, and again when Nani, at the end of her rope says to Lelo "sometimes things dont work out no matter how hard you try and perhaps its for the best..." Because I am living that out daily here.

Yes Ohana means "family, and no one gets left behind, or left out..." as the movie explains, but it also means that if you are "Ohana" that means you have to be some how born into the Ohana...

Woody came out, say me crying and said, "what is the matter with you? I said "you wouldnt understand ...you have never loved anything in your whole life..." He shrugged and went into the other room. Hes lucky that we are sleeping in separate rooms, or he would know of the dreams of the Hamakua and last nights nightmare that the sale of our house was a mistake and waking to tearful raving over this. Im not sure that I could bear the mocking I would receive over this. Woody has already shown no capacity for compassion on this issue.

I love Hawaii. It is in me, a part of me, and its language and culture are a part of my spirit. I cannot change it. Somehow I was born into the Ohana, and there is no changing that... Just like a divorce doesnt "unmarry" you, leaving Hawaii didnt remove me from the Ohana. The Mana (spirit of the culture) resides in me, I believe by God's will. The pain of the loss is really just begining and I dont see a avenue for closure... We are marked by the realization of what seems to be humanities dream..., the Hawaii adventure, and our journey before those nearly four years, and our journey now.

I feel like I am lost...

June 17, 2005

The Week In Review

preparing for bed Makoa and Nani sleeping on the couch...

Its been a good week for us. I really really thank God for doing all that He has done to facillitate things... It really has been smooth sailing in all cases...

First and foremost, on his first effort, first interview, Woody was hired to work as a cashier at the nearby Walmart in Jane, MO, about 2 miles from our house. All he has to do is pass the drug test which he will do. Cleaner than new snow that one. He is on cloud nine, and we dont even care how little it pays. Its a tremendous boost for a man that was beaten to a plup by the labor establishement in Hawaii.

1-1- Woodster... great job.

We awarded contracts to the two generals that will be heading our remodel. Work has begun. We will be in August 1. Thank you Lord.

Back to Woody. Played golf and had a neighborhood social event and was accepted at both outings. People are a bit more reserved with me than Woody. Our floor guy, who is American Indian, said it best that he was at once attracted and guarded about me. "Its the strength from within, the leadership quality, people have to decide if they want to follow... they will. I look to your guidance on this job, even though you say Woody is the one I should talk to... I said "I dont want to lead anything or anyone" Mark responded... you dont choose they choose, the followers, so our elders say..."

Im not sure how I, the youngest person living in our subdivision, am going to fit in here. I want to, for the first time in my life, not stick out.

oh... I almost forgot... Mak and Nani are really thriving here and are back to normal. They are no longer afraid of the airconditioner, and are allowed full acess to the house, and seem very comfortable here. They spend many happy hours viewing the wildlife here, both birds and rodents come right up to the window for easy viewing and occasional stalking. Sometimes they forget about the glass and try to pounce through it, but everybody seems to survive it ok

all is well at Bella Vista " The Beautiful View"

June 16, 2005

The Discovery of Treasure....

Twilight Surf Richardson Beach park Keaukaha Big Island


The Discovery of Treasure...

Outside my door...

I see the lights
flashing in the twilight
of a warm summers evening
Fireflies dance
against the forest dark
in endless rhythm
Wings entwine, a treasure
of natural wonder

Inside the eye of my mind...

I see the light
fluorescing in the twilight
of warm tropical evening
Waves dance
against dark volcanic shores
in endless rhythm
Elements entwine, a treasure
of Hawaiian wonder

Inside my computer....

I see the light
of intellects writing
expressing their minds
Opinions focus
against opposing views
in endless diversity
self expression advances,
a treasure
of the electronic age


I noticed that my counter is approaching 20,000 hits, and on this occasion I want to thank all of you that read My Wide Blue Seas. I consider this an amazing thing, that people care enough about what I create to make me a daily read. I am awed and blessed by your comments, emails and encouragement. This medium has given me a venue to communicate parts of my life that have see little of the light of day. It has helped me to get in touch with my truer self, and given me a platform for self expression unrivaled... It has also taught me that we are journalists and I need to be careful and research my work, and be prepared to stand behind what I write both here and as I comment on other blogs. You bless me my readers, knowing you are out there keeps me writing...Which I think is keeping me sane...

Comment in the box or email me at mywideblueseas@gmail.com

Aloha

June 15, 2005

The Mail Run

The Mill Wheel out in the carpark at The Inn of the Ozarks, Best Western Hotel Eureka Springs Arkansas, home of "Myrtie Mae's" coffee shop, and the best food around here.


Woody and I needed a day out. We have a lot going on. We have the work started on the house, and the job is going well. Woody was called by the new Walmart in Jane MO, less than 2 miles from the house, to interview as a cashier. Has a second interview Friday morning. A 4pm teetime with the neighbors, and pizza dinner after 9 holes friday night... (I get to go to dinner)

I have been busy getting all of the details and materiels selected for the remodel, and trying to pull together our personal and financial lives together paperwork wise now that we have an address to give. I have also been applying for work via the internet and like Woody, will likely get a call from one of the firms that I have applied to. There is a shortage of competent labor so I feel assured that eventually something will turn up for us.

So this morning we are having the old floors lifted up and the contractor was starting to demo the master bathroom, and build us a large walk in shower. All was going well there and our home is in good hands ...

We left and drove up to Eureka Springs to have lunch at Myrtie Mae's resturant. We really enjoy the atmosphere and how the ladies take care of us, brocoli cheese soup that is satisfaction in a soup bowl, and daily carrot or banana muffins, fresh baked, and daily specials that taste like you think "Home Cooking" should taste. The final smile generator is the price, all you can eat soup and salad and the hot meal, $6.50. I often take the hot meal hot intact and have it later. Its more than two people can handle.

Its a lovely drive, the 40 miles up route 340 up through the Pea Ridge Battlefields, and town, then on to route 62. Its been beautiful. Blue skies and cooler temperatures allowed us to open the car windows and enjoy the smells of the wild flowers. It was glorious.

We ride in silence mostly, there is no reception in the hilly area and its just a time to take in the sights sounds and smells of the countryside.

As we drove, we saw plenty of deer, and some other critters that we only see in the evening. The deer are lovely... The rolling hills and green fields are so pretty. We are seeing that we are heading into summer, as the hills are turning from green and gold. The wild flowers are getting more and more intense in color and I hope to get a few more photos of this incredible sight.


We went out to Berryville to our floor covering guy. We needed to pick out the tile for the bathroom and make sure that this was what we wanted, for the last time... and we also have a PO Box in Holiday Island that we get all of the forwarded mail from Hawaii. Some people say "gee you go out there every week..." I think its a treat this drive in the country. Soon we will have jobs and busier lives and look back on this time with a smile... The Mail Run is a necessary thing for now, but may soon be looked as a good excuse for a lovely afternoon off.

June 14, 2005

Wasted, Faded, and Damned- The Man in the Mirror

Constantine Swallowtail Taken at the Butterfly Place Branson MO

this is no accident, this butterfly is upside down. I followed it around the enclosure to get its photo and this is how it would land... Upside down... Perhaps this is how it views the world...Quirky isn't it...We accept the creatures quirks cause that is how a butterfly is...

We are quick to accept quirks in people too as long as they fit with our polititcally correct way of thinking... But we lose that freedom to be ourselves and to not be judged by our differences once we are tainted with suspicion of the unthinkable weather we did it or not... So goes the nightly media pundits who have said ... Well look at him... The very face of a childmolester...A freak of abnormal bents and desires.....

Tried and convicted in the press, is that the American way???

For all of the time that I have been blogging, this blog has been a Michael Jackson free zone, unless he was mentioned regarding his music. But today, after getting a nasty-gram email regarding a comment I placed on a blog I want to say something. I wont be popular for saying what I am going to say but its my blog...I can say what I want ...Feel free to comment as usual...

A long time ago in a life far far away, a teen aged girl and her new husband moonwalked to MJ in clubs around LA. The Engineer and I never met him, but we loved him respected his art, admired his come up from a crummy life grit, and couldn't imagine how far he could go. I mean look at Thriller and what a piece of work that is. So MJ of the past is burned into the collective consciousness of myself and Im sure most of us.

We all saw the creeping weirdness set in from the skin bleaching, to the animals and the Peter Pan persona...I wonder how many of us saw the hurting man inside of all of that, or just saw "the brand changing" wacko Jacko on the loose on Highland Ave, in Encino...

I have watched a icon who I thought had the world by the tail...
....Wasted , faded and damned.

We have all seen celebs reinvent, grow, change... Some defy death... I also like Boy George, and like Jackson he was in dire straights with his health' all of his druggging and partying, and heaven knows what... and hung it up, got clean... you can name dozens of these survivors in every genre, Pop, Country, Rock and Classical music, not to mention other arts, sport ect.They came to a realization that things were getting crazy and that help was needed. Thank God they did. Usually it starts with friends and family intervening saying "enough already" "you weigh 85 lbs", "Your friends are dying, take care of your health", "have you had that throat looked at", "you will drink yourself to death in another 6 months", "if you keep touring you will ruin what is left of your voice and your health"...and they stopped what they were doing, as a result, Boy George, David Bowie, Alice Cooper, Rod Stewart, Charlie Daniels, and Luciano Pavorotti and a host of others are still alive and with us.

But I don't think that MJ has too many people looking out for his welfare. Its all about money, and what MJ can do for them. His abusive blood sucking family is the worst. These people around him, yes people and hanger on-ers. Only Elvis Presley was/is more ill served by his entourage than this man and it shows...


Im not sawing the violins for Michael.We are each of us responsible for the outcomes of our actions, period. You are responsible for the actions of your "people" as well. He is a sick man that I believe he was horribly abused as a child physically and emotionally. I believe that he is a molester. I believe he will molest again. I believe that he is consumed with guilt when he acts out and I believe that he will commit suicide eventually if he doesn't get help. Like Elvis, he will be dead before hes 50. Such a sad waste for a man that could have been the Gene Kelly of our generation...from Gene's own lips...

The trial... I think that big money has changed the face of justice. Big high power "dream team " lawyers will run circles around the public defenders every time...In California in the clogged court system we have there I dont think justice is served often. After the sad affairs of the OJ trial, the Blake trial, Peterson, I think the judge didnt want this to get hung up. I think this judge gave a very narrow set of instructions and the jury did their best to comply. The prosecution couldn't prove beyond a reasonable doubt that MJ did more than have a sleep over, and didn't lay a hand on the kid. Even though we all assume that MJ touches little boys the prosecution didn't do a very good job of convincing then jury that he touched "this" little boy. Then there was the issues regarding the plaintiffs had made false statements in the past. The Mother from hell... The judge didn't leave any room for sloppiness, the only thing that would have helped was sequestration, and we will never know if that was an issue.

The jurors did their job, but I am sickened by the way the said how "normal" MJ looked day in and out when we know he is ill. I also don't like how they are jetting around the country making money off of this. But that is what this is all about money money money... Wait till the books come out. (Woody reminds me that I said that I would have liked to have been on this trial as I thought it would be interesting... would I have written a book... Hmmmm. So I shall admit that I have feet of clay myself.)

Michael Jackson is a free man, but his life is in shambles. His career already on a downhill slope simply because styles have changed, will need to think about his future. If I were him Id sell Neverland, the market is hot for the land in that area and he will get a huge return on his investment. He needs to work on his image. Stay away from kids. Don't get married again, you aren't fooling anyone. Get therapy. Have back surgery. Manage the financial empire that you already possess. Maybe leave the country.

I found this article (sorry it was MSN but it went away before I could get the credits I will work on that but I am posting it anyway. I thought that is was a fitting obit to this whole mess.


Reports keep surfacing that Jackson's future may lie on the Vegas strip. So very appropriate perhaps the only destination left for the King of Pop.

Las Vegas is a temple of fading glory, and not just in that Wayne Newton way. Consider the cites latest queen, Celine Dion. Her popularity is beyond question, but her arrival on the Strip celebrates her past fame, not her future potential.

At the same time, Vegas is a land of reinvention, a place to wipe away your past and revel in the present. In 'Casino,' Ace Rothstein described it as 'a morality car wash.'

Jackson has weathered years of murmurs about eccentric pets and skin bleachings and unsettling sleepovers and baby danglings. He faced accusations of molestation, and descriptions of sexual behavior so stomach-turning that you wanted to wash your ears out. Not even Vegas may be able to hit Jackson's reset button.

Through our endless fascination with celebrity, we endured it all too. At this point, we may all need a place like Vegas

and finally...

Years ago, I was challenged by Rick Wakeman of the group YES and a devout Believer to pray for the likes of Madonna and MJ. He had been a superstar and a Christain when this was a rare thing and as people were crashing and burning around him he was able to stay mindful of what was truly important to him. He became a icon in Britain for his realness, and humility, in a world where the masses worship at the temple of their stars, and it goes to the stars heads... He has shared his faith often with other rock stars and people in the business who while they didn't necessarily get on their knees and pray right then, thanked him for caring about their inner man. I think that its a shame that the "Rev. Jessie Jackson" is not specific with with MJ as to his spiritual condition. What a golden opportunity to win a soul, rather that continue in a sick co dependency.

What the Man in the Mirror needs is the Man on the Cross...

June 13, 2005

One Wicked Night

the terror by night roadside lightning strike photo by Matt Ver Steeg, Stormchaser

Im on battery power only...We have 60 mile per hour winds and as I look outside there is water building up in the parking lot as the drains cant handle the down pour

The lights are flickering, as I see three four even five shafts of lightning arc down to the ground. Its raining so hard, that it sound like we are sitting in a huge dishwasher swishing back and forth... only diminishing as the the thunder crashes, then more and more rain sluces down...

One Wicked evening...

the storm line from Texas to Illinois. We are located in the corner where Missouri and Arkansas meet


The weather has been very interesting, NW Arkansas is below the "Hot/Cold" line that arcs accross the the center of the country, so while we get the thunder storms that occur when the hot moist air from the gulf of Mexico crashes into cold polar air, we dont get the tornados that our nearby neighbors, Oklahoma and Missouri get...

but tonight is different, we are under tornado warning and I had a chance this afternoon to see a funnelcloud that may have been forming...We were out at the new house preparing to get going on our remodeling project when the sunny skies turned black almost at once, Woody busy with contractors, didnt see our neighbor, Lee wave me over across the street where he was standing. Out of the shelter of our home, the churning sky was visibly changing colors, lightning flashing and against the dark grey a white tail like cloud was begining to form... "Hoku! see, there it is that is how it begins..." I asked Lee if we go to "warning" does he go to cover? He answered no,that if there was a sighting in one of the neighboring areas, then he would... but he thought that it was a good idea to round up the cats and put them in the safe room....we have one in the new house... but we have a walk in closet which is where they are now.

The house shakes violently as the lightning strikes, the light flickers... the rain falls...

... while Lee and I stood there under the oaks in the little park this afternoon, rain began to fall then marble sized hail fell. I ran accross the street and hopped into the driver's seat, and pulled my new car into the garage where Woody was talking, to protect it against the hail should it get larger and harder. It stayed a mushy marble size. But this was the pregame show

We all pulled out of the drive way as the lightning was crisscrossing overhead. The three mile drive over hill and dale to the rental was a hair raiser, with constant lightning all around us, and the torential rain that quickly filled culverts and ditches and covered roadways. We hydroplaned into depressions filled with runoff and creeped up hills and around. We thought we had seen it all when the wind picked up and the mushy hail started up again... I thought about the fact that we dont have a garage where we live then put the thought out of my mind of damage to my new car...

The lightning came on and on in a constant beat. We could see it touching down near where we live... As our rental is situated on a golfcourse we wondered if we should even get out of the car once we got home...

Well God called a truce and we had a slight break in the storm and we were able to get out of the car and into the house before the power went off. Both Mak and Nani were cowering in the bedroom they stay in when we are gone...the TV was off from the outage...( WE have been leaving it on when we go away...they like the weather channel all the swirling patterns and fairly calm talking and music that is repetative... Nani will paw the screen to try to get the doppler radar)

now hours later we are off watch and the trough has passed through and we will have clear weather perhaps for a few days even a bit cooler. I am relieved that its over. I know that we will all get used to it, and learn to manage, but for today it was just a little bit loud and scary...

June 12, 2005

Images Of an Ordinary Day

Cows, near Pea Ridge Arkansas. I love the pastoral beauty, the ordinariness of of the country life that is never ordinary to me....



Awoke this morning
to sounds of thunder
lightning flashed
in the bright sunshine

Squirrels dancing
with the blue jays
among the oak leaves
Chasing tails in the rain

Kitties greeting me
purring, rubbing, talking
waiting for breakfast
watching the squirrels

Driving on the narrow road
a noontime narrow escape
a doe and day old spotted fawn
Narrowly miss our car bumper

Meetings greetings handshakes
talking story with
tradesmen,neighbors,servers
and friends newly made

Drive the long way home,
learn a new road
prepare a meal for two
eat in silence alone

Writing, blogging, reading
evening chores, bathing
lap time with Nani
Our hour of time with God

Turn off the lights
Close the day
with pray and praise
alone in the night.

June 11, 2005

Solitary Deliverence

Christ of the Ozarks from the back of the monument Eureka Springs Arkansas

Its between you and God, talk to Him about your life today...

Ezekiel 14


Then some elders of Israel came to me and sat down before me.
And the word of the LORD came to me, saying,
"Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts and have put right before their faces the stumbling block of their iniquity. Should I be consulted by them at all?
"Therefore speak to them and tell them, 'Thus says the Lord GOD, "Any man of the house of Israel who sets up his idols in his heart, puts right before his face the stumbling block of his iniquity, and {then} comes to the prophet, I the LORD will be brought to give him an answer in the matter in view of the multitude of his idols,
in order to lay hold of the hearts of the house of Israel who are estranged from Me through all their idols.'"
"Therefore say to the house of Israel, 'Thus says the Lord GOD, "Repent and turn away from your idols and turn your faces away from all your abominations.
"For anyone of the house of Israel or of the immigrants who stay in Israel who separates himself from Me, sets up his idols in his heart, puts right before his face the stumbling block of his iniquity, and {then} comes to the prophet to inquire of Me for himself, I the LORD will be brought to answer him in My own person.
"I will set My face against that man and make him a sign and a proverb, and I will cut him off from among My people. So you will know that I am the LORD.
"But if the prophet is prevailed upon to speak a word, it is I, the LORD, who have prevailed upon that prophet, and I will stretch out My hand against him and destroy him from among My people Israel.
"They will bear {the punishment of} their iniquity; as the iniquity of the inquirer is, so the iniquity of the prophet will be,
in order that the house of Israel may no longer stray from Me and no longer defile themselves with all their transgressions. Thus they will be My people, and I shall be their God,'" declares the Lord GOD."
Then the word of the LORD came to me saying,
"Son of man, if a country sins against Me by committing unfaithfulness, and I stretch out My hand against it, destroy its supply of bread, send famine against it and cut off from it both man and beast,
even {though} these three men, Noah, Daniel and Job were in its midst, by their {own} righteousness they could {only} deliver themselves," declares the Lord GOD.
"If I were to cause wild beasts to pass through the land and they depopulated it, and it became desolate so that no one would pass through it because of the beasts,
{though} these three men were in its midst, as I live," declares the Lord GOD, "they could not deliver either {their} sons or {their} daughters. They alone would be delivered, but the country would be desolate.
"Or {if} I should bring a sword on that country and say, 'Let the sword pass through the country and cut off man and beast from it,'
even {though} these three men were in its midst, as I live," declares the Lord GOD, "they could not deliver either {their} sons or {their} daughters, but they alone would be delivered.
"Or {if} I should send a plague against that country and pour out My wrath in blood on it to cut off man and beast from it,
even {though} Noah, Daniel and Job were in its midst, as I live," declares the Lord GOD, "they could not deliver either {their} son or {their} daughter. They would deliver only themselves by their righteousness."
For thus says the Lord GOD, "How much more when I send My four severe judgments against Jerusalem: sword, famine, wild beasts and plague to cut off man and beast from it!
"Yet, behold, survivors will be left in it who will be brought out, {both} sons and daughters. Behold, they are going to come forth to you and you will see their conduct and actions; then you will be comforted for the calamity which I have brought against Jerusalem for everything which I have brought upon it.
"Then they will comfort you when you see their conduct and actions, for you will know that I have not done in vain whatever I did to it," declares the Lord GOD.

June 10, 2005

Paradise Lost

Clouds over Sea Mountain Resort, Mauna Loa in the distance, the humps that you see on the curve of the mountain are cinder cones where ash and lava have spewed out creating "Pu'u or "little hills"

Its been two weeks now that the world has been gripped by the horror of the disappearance of Natailee Holloway. I am shocked at a lot of things about this story not the least of which is that the young people were so ill served by the law the resorts or the "chaparones" the adults that went along to help keep these young people out of such trouble as this...

I cant begin to understand the anguish of the parents of both the young woman and the the young men being held.

Islands are often places where people go to do things that they wouldnt normally do. They are strangers there, no one knows them and they can let their hair down and get a little wild. I have seen this so much during my time on the Big Island. I have known people that have gone to islands to explore parts of themselves they feared to reveal to family on the mainland...some came out to the gay life, or a gender change others.... well I cant say, but I dont think that this was a positive experience for them. There is a lot of durg use , suicide, and domestic violence on islands, and because tourism fuels these economies, silence about these issues is the norm.

Because people are acting out phycologically in these places, where people think they wont be found out, islands are dangerous places. People go missing and not just women though they are most vonerable. Young men were murdered on the Big Islands by thugs while we were there...People disapere...

Islands are way stations for drugs, prostitutes and other human merchendise,...you dont get in the way of this, or you get moved out of the way...Crime is often a problem. Aruba has done a lot to abate the crime there but... In the Carribean there are dozens of women that have gone missing in the last 10 years, and we dont know where they are, or what happened to them.

Natailee may become the poster child for victims of island crimes. I am glad that this has been exposed. Though I didnt see it I know that there were some programs depicting Dog the bounty hunter over on the Kona side of Big Island exposing the sleeze over there.

People, People People... I have stated for the last nearly two years that Hawaii is not Disneyland and Aruba isnt either. It has a pretty dreamy side and a ugly nasty dirty side. I know that this girl was an adult, but we all need to exercise caution when we go to these places, and especially traveling in a foreign land, where we dont have the rights we enjoy in the USA. (You America bashers try getting justice anyplace else like you get here!) When you travel, even in Hawaii, you have to watch your back, and ladies traveling alone is getting more and more dangerous all the time. I have done it myslef and do not think I will do it in foreign lands again.

My prayers are with the family and with the other families of missing people that have come to light in these days... the day after day of not knowing what happened to your loved one must be the worst sort of never ending hell...

June 08, 2005

Literary Treasures- a Meme

The lobby of the Crescent Hotel Eureka Springs Arkansas. the perfect place to curl up with a book...

Cowtown Pattie, author of Texas Trifles has invited me to a short literary meme. Books are certainly one of my and Woody's great joys and occupations, love, weakness,and pleasures...They are a major componant in my decoration sceme as well. I will have a bookcase in every room of our new house, and likely I will still have books all over the place. I estimate that a full third of the weight of my containers going to and from Hawaii was my library. All of the books that shipped were read at one time. Should I read a book that I like, I keep it, as re reading is anothing thing that I love to do. Like Pattie, some of my books are so dog-eared they fall naturally to my favorite passages.

1. Total Number of Books You Have Owned: I have 2500 volumes appox,in my library, so to say 10,000 is not exageration. I have inherited three complete libraries from people that read extensively as well has technical, theological, musical and culinary collections. I donated the bulk of these to approprete venues who could use them. People give me books as gifts and I am quick to pick up a stray book. We left 10 books at the last rental and we have read three that were here in this one. I have received 5 books in the mail in the last three weeks

2. Last Book I Bought (but still waiting to be shipped): Next on my Zooba reading list "Quit Digging Your Grave with Your Knife and Fork" by my new governor Mike Huckabee....by the way I love Zooba Book Club


3. Last Book I Read: As I usually read several simultaneously, I will list some of the titles I finished in the last few weeks prior to leaving Hawaii:


American Jezebel, the uncommon life of Anne Hutcheson by Eve La Plante Anne Hutcheson is one of my great heros. She stood against the male religious establishment, and extolled the vurtues of grace.

"First We Quit Our Jobs: How One Work Driven Couple found anew life on the road..." By Marilyn Abrams...These two people inspired Woody and I to pull up stakes and move to Hawaii, now challenge us to continue in the quest to reinvent ourselves.


perhaps this should be under Hawaii, but my friend Monica when she was here in Novenber, bought me a copy of Herb Kane's self published book "Voyages". Kahuna Kane, who died last year was one of Hawaii's premiere artists and teachers of Hawaiian culture. His vision to teach the young lead to the building to his specifications, The Hokulea, a full sized trans oceanic voyaging canoe, which has logged over 500,000 nautical miles over the Pacific teaching young people the skills of polynesian navagation


Currently reading

"Zorro" by Isabel Allende
fabulous read.

"A Table in the Presence" by Lt Carey Cash"
a very different look at the invasion of Bagdad its inspiring...

4. Five Books That Mean a Lot To Me:

I couldnt count just five. I dont have the sort of memeory of first novels that made me cry. But There are books that have had an impact on my life for various reasons


First and formost, it goes with out saying that the Bible has had the single greatest impact on my life. I learned massive amounts of King James Version scripture as a child and I am convinced that the candence and form of this translation affects my writing even my very speach...Later after 10 years of wandering, salvation and a new life as a Believer came along and I was to wear out a New American standard Bible reading it through some 25 times in the 7 years I was in the ministry. I had the battered book rebound by a renouned artist Jesus Sanchez in Hilo, a bibliologist that travels the world teaching others how to restore books.


There are 5 biographical books that took me to the next level inwardly in my spritual walk

The Journals of Jim Elliot/Passion and Purity written and or edited by Elisabeth Elliot Gren.

Both of these people are hero's of mine...these are parallel works that cover a span of time in the early 1950's. Thses two people gave their lives to God and they have been used in great ways. Jim Elliot was martyred in Equador in 1953 in a crime that shocked the world as he and four others were murdered by tribesmen they were trying to reach for the first time. Elisabeth there at the time with their daughter went back to the tribe two years later to continue the work they started... a quote of Jim's stands out "He is no fool to give that which he cannot keep, to save that which he cannot lose."


The Hiding Place, by Corie Ten Boom

Many Jewish people do not know that there were hundreds of Believers that made heroic efforts to save Jews and others persicuted by the Nazis. This woman, after losing nearly all of her family for this cause, went on to become a world wide evangelist, declaring what she learned in the concentration camps..." There is no pit so deep that His love is not deeper still.."


A Closter Walk/Amazing Grace, a vocabulary of faith, by Kathleen Norris

Kathleen, has inspired me with her spiritual journey. From a conservative Christain upbringing, to a period of wandering to a crisis and a comming to the knowledge that a power grater than herself was moving in her life, she embraced her husbands Roman Catholic faith, studying monastic culture, she became a Oblate of St. Benedict...She lives in the Midwest, but returns to our Hawaii where she spent her teenage years, the way she handles that has helped me in these days of upheaval...


Ok ok so more than five... I cant leave this area without adding a few more...Woody, looking over my sholder said..."you are leaving out all of the Early Fathers, hymnals, and devotional works..." this is impossible

The Rule of St. Benedict, by Benedict of Monte Cassino

The book that may have saved the world, Benedict's rule guided monastic culture for nearly 1600 years and provided the lifeboat for classical learning through the Dark Ages.

The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas a'Kempis

How to be a true Christian? Read this...

add these to your Bible and you are set for life



There are a few books that have had an unusual impact on my life for different reasons... I will list by topic

WWII and the Holocaust

Exodus - Leon Uris: I became aware of the Holocaust at about age 12, due to meeting other students whose parents were Survivors. My Father encouraged me to check this book out of the library. Already a frequent visitor to the adult section, I checked it out and we discussed the war together, and with the Nissenbaum family who had a number of survivors present in the city. Opened my eyes to mans cruelty and issues of predudice. Made me forever a supporter of Israel. I also am a big fan of Herman Wouk and have read his entire opus.


Hawaii and our adventures in foreign lands/culture....


Hawaii James Mitchner
the one that started it all

"Pastwatch, the Redemption of Christopher Columbus" Orson Scott Card Do you ever think about what would have happened had there been some little change in history? I love chasing those sorts of ideas and this is a important one historically... read on...

Perpetuated in Righteousness- by Daniel Kikawa in November of 2004, I posted exerps of this book and showed photos of hawaiian artifacts depicitng the brutal culture of human sacrifice and how the embracing of Christianity changed the course of Hawaii in a positive manner forever.


Lest you think I am all work and no play. I want to thank Anne McCaffrey, and her thirty year effort to produce the 17 volumes of the Dragonriders of Pern. The characters of the series are like old friends and I know Pearn like I know earth. As Ms. Mc Caffrey has grown older so have her characters in the story line and so have I. Her son, my age has begun to write the series so there will be new stories for a new generation...I love to reread them in order, following the evolution of this lady's writing. Her first short novel, the foundation of the series, was written on her kitchen table while her kids were in school. It won Science Fiction's highest honor in 1968...and its not stopped since... gives me hope for my own efforts...



5. seven (not five, okay? people have a life and cant always do it...) people to lob the meme to:

John at Journal of a Writing Man

Steve at King's Kid

Muse at Shiloh Musings

Eric at The Fire Ant Gazette

Kitten at Kitten With a Whip

Torgo at From Heck it Came

Loren at Almanac of the Mundane

and Gama at Gama's Poetry

June 07, 2005

The Akaka Bill

Punalu'u Black Sand Beach, Kau, Big Island of Hawaii


This came accross my laptop this morning and I thought that I would post it. For nearly four years this bill pending before congress was touted as the means to end many of the issues regarding Native Hawaiian Sovereignty in the Hawaiian Islands. Getting ones hands on the actual bill has been quite difficult, and I have neither read it nor endorsed it myself. So, getting this emailed to me was a eyeopener. I have never heard of this source, but will be bookmarking it.

For those of you that have traveled to Hawaii you know that there is no gambling estabishment, and that has been feircely fought off by the locals that do not want this scourge introduced to their homeland, this bill will allow special intrest big money gambling people ie the mob to go in and estabilsh casinos in residential neighborhoods and alongside natural wonders seen only in this special part of Gods creation. This will ruin Hawaii. For those of you that live in places where this has happened (Woody and I have, this has been a mess in Southern California as BIg Indian Gaming came in and put up casinos in back yards in Temecula, Palm Springs, and other citites...) YOu know what I am talking about...

Also as noted commentators have said... this will codify the Balkanization of Hawaii. Its bad enough as it is with the Kama'aina still thinking along plantation camp lines, "Chinese here, Portugues over here and Japanee, in next camp..." Uggh...dont get me started on the racial bias and how every strata of Hawaii life encourages it. Akaka will create a privileged class among Native Hawaiis. Such law is an abomination in a free society


Hawaii Reporter
Freedom to Report Real News

Akaka Bill Bad for Hawaii
Open Letter to U.S. Congress & President George W. Bush
By 500+ People to Date in Hawaii, 6/5/2005 8:03:06 PM

With the nation facing unprecedented threats, as the 108th Congress begins its work and President George W. Bush calls for unity and strength and to stimulate the economy, the forces of Hawaiian separatism are expected to once again introduce the Native Hawaiian Recognition Bill ("Akaka Bill").

This bill would divide, not unite, the people of Hawaii; weaken, not strengthen, the nation's and Hawaii‚s economy; and it would encourage those in Hawaii who view themselves primarily as something other than Americans.

A Radical Change in Existing Law

This bill would grant members of one group, defined by ancestry, the right to organize a new government. It would thereby give Native Hawaiians something no American Indian has: the right to create the equivalent of a tribe where none now exists. Congress may recognize tribes which have existed continuously from historic times to the present but it has no power to create tribes out of thin air U.S. v. Sandoval, 231 U.S. 28 (1913).

There are no tribes in Hawaii. Since 1810, when Kamehameha the Great unified the islands and established the Kingdom of Hawaii, there has never been a government exclusively of, by or for Hawaiians. The „nation‰ the Akaka bill proposes to "recognize" has never existed.


Tax-Free Businesses & Casinos

The Akaka Bill would turn anyone with a drop of Hawaiian blood into a new kind of American Indian. It would allow Hawaii to be carved up into separate sovereign enclaves, like Indian reservations, that could have businesses free of federal and state taxes competing unfairly with those that pay them. While the bill says it does not authorize casinos, it does not prohibit them either, and every state that has Indian reservations also now has casinos that pay no taxes. Since there also is no limit on what the Indian tribes can contribute to political campaigns, Hawaii certainly would soon have casinos.

Rejection of Aloha and Democracy

This bill would violate both Aloha and the American ideal of equality under the law. It would elevate one racial group to the status of a hereditary elite to be supported by citizens who are not of the favored race.

No Historical Justification

Contrary to the claims of the bill supporters, the U.S. took no lands from Hawaiians at the time of the 1893 revolution or the 1898 Annexation (or at any other time) and it did not deprive them of sovereignty. Upon annexation, (unlike American Indians and Alaska natives) Hawaiians became full citizens of the U.S. with more freedom, security, opportunity for prosperity and sovereignty than they ever had under the Kingdom.

As part of the Annexation Act, the U.S. provided compensation by assuming the debts of about $4 million which had been incurred by the Kingdom. The lands ceded to the U.S. were the former government and crown lands under the Kingdom held for the benefit of all citizens without regard to race.

In 1959 the U.S. transferred those public lands to the new State of Hawaii subject to the same public trust. The State still holds them in trust for all citizens of Hawaii. Hawaiians today are no different, in any constitutionally significant way, from any other ethnic group in Hawaii‚s multi-ethnic, intermarried, integrated society. Like all the rest of us, some do well, some don‚t and most are somewhere in between.

Keep Hawaii One State, Indivisible

Carving up Hawaii into separate sovereign enclaves would hurt all of us, our children, homes, schools, pocketbooks and the tax base of our state, city and county governments. A house divided against itself cannot stand. The Constitution "looks to an indestructible union, composed of indestructible States." Texas v. White, 7 Wallace 700 (1869).

The People of Hawaii Choose Statehood

Over 40 years ago, in keeping with the principle that a government should be created only with the consent of the governed, the citizens of Hawaii chose American statehood by an overwhelming margin. (Over 94 percent voted Yes to Statehood in 1959). The same choice would doubtless be made today.

We thank our lucky stars to be living in Hawaii with the freedom, security, equal opportunity and Aloha for all that comes with being citizens of the United States.

We love Hawaii and respect all its people, including Hawaiians. We do not want to be divided and we do not want to secede from the United States.

Please say no to the Native Hawaiian Recognition Bill ("Akaka Bill").


Sincerely,

The Undersigned

503 People to Date (See the Names Here or Sign the Petition Here):

http://www.PetitionOnline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?Aloha4HI


For further information about the Akaka bill see: http://www.angelfire.com/hi2/hawaiiansovereignty/OpposeAkakaBill.html or mailto:spburgess@hawaii.rr.com




Guest Editorials...


© 2005 Hawaii Reporter, Inc.

June 06, 2005

...There You Stayed, Temporarily Lost At Sea..

the comming storm Holiday Island Ar


Diamonds and Rust

Well I'll be damned
Here comes your ghost again
But that's not unusual
It's just that the moon is full
And you happened to call

And here I sit
Hand on the telephone
Hearing a voice I'd known
A couple of light years ago
Heading straight for a fall

As I remember your eyes
Were bluer than robin's eggs
My poetry was lousy you said
Where are you calling from?
A booth in the midwest

Ten years ago
I bought you some cufflinks
You brought me something
We both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust

Well you burst on the scene
Already a legend
The unwashed phenomenon
The original vagabond
You strayed into my arms

And there you stayed
Temporarily lost at sea
The Madonna was yours for free
Yes the girl on the half-shell
Would keep you unharmed

Now I see you standing
With brown leaves falling around
And snow in your hair
Now you're smiling out the window
Of that crummy hotel
Over Washington Square
Our breath comes out white clouds
Mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me
We both could have died then and there

Now you're telling me
You're not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague

Because I need some of that vagueness now
It's all come back too clearly
Yes I loved you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I've already paid

Joan Baez

I woke in a cold sweat yesterday morning. There was a voice in my ear that I had not heard for at least 10 years... 17 years from the point it was eminating from... the pillow next to me... I gasped, it was daylight in the tiny white bedroom I am sleeping in here in this vacation rental. Silent. Woody and the cats are in the master suite. (Woody can slep through their nighttime antics and the tiny bed in the "master Suite" what a joke, is not big enough for both of our plus sized bodies)

Sometimes ones dreams are too real... They can leave you wondering where you are and how did you get there.

I wondered if the last 10 years was the dream (or nightmare) and here I was again single and needing to get up and get to church for sound check and warm up...Well all I needed to do was look at my left hand to confirm the true reality, my wedding ring and wrinkles tell me a lot... Then I knew that these last amazing years were real after all...

It was such a long time ago...but that voice brought it all back...nearly all of my adult life, until I met Woody and as I wrote in a post back in March, Woody made it very plain that friendship wanst even going be allowed, and he was very much in the right. Woody intuitively knew that this was much to hot for me and him to handle...

Diamonds and Rust was not "our song" but it should have been. It describes the relationship of myself and the great love of my life, "The Pianist". From age 14, until my early 30's he was a central figure in my life. Once he left his home, he lived on and off in Los Angeles, and points in between, Washington DC, Miami, San Francisco...Dropping in, then dropping out as circumstances led him, he was my itnerant love. Physically, mentally, and emotional soulmates, that transcended time and place. Disconnected, we were in the back of each others minds, Connected it was as though we had never been apart. Together, people were sure that he was my spouse and my former husband was my brother...connected at the hip, Twins born of different mothers. I was the only woman that he had ever loved and been in love with, he the only man that I have ever felt really under stood the real me and accepted me just as I was at all of the critical stages of my life, up to the time we parted ways. We were similarly gifted, having the same talents in vocal and instrumental music, the same urge to create images with song, camera and a pen...

So why did this not work out to a more permanant union? The Pianist is hopelessly bent sexually towards men, and sadly not all of the human love in this world can change that. It takes a nearly supernatural commitment to God and to Transitional Reformation, to realign one's inner drives towards a straight life style, from the homosexual. It is more complicated than a choice, and more complex than "Im just born that way"...its a bit of both and beyond current science to fully grasp... Its not something I could ever ask of a person.. "do this for me". In my life as a Born Again Believer, I could not tolerate "sharing" at this level anymore... Neither could The Pianist. It was doomed, this relationship, to being only what it was and never to grow beyond its current level.

I dont think The Pianist could ever commit to a more mature relationship than what we had up to that point.For commitment takes maturity, strength of will and character. It also takes a daily dose of throwing one's imperfect self on the altar of sacrifice, and asking God to help you really love this person unconditionally. Gay or straight, to be bound to one person for life is a challenge and not one that most of us can say we have been sucessful in in suceeding in. Let alone if you have spent you life as the "The Vagabond"...

Yesterday was your birthday, you of sea blue green eyes and a smile that would break my heart everytime I would see it. I wonder about you and pray that you are well today... and ask that you stop haunting me in my dreams. Letting you go was the right thing, and I dont regret it... I will keep the diamonds of our lives together and know that the rust is the the fruit of a love that was fatally flawed...

June 05, 2005

Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul

Islands in the Stream- woodland creek feeding into Beaver lake Near Beaver Arkansas

Bless the LORD, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
The LORD performs righteous deeds And judgments for all who are oppressed.
He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel.
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever.
He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.
For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.
As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer.
But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children's children,
To those who keep His covenant And remember His precepts to do them.
The LORD has established His throne in the heavens, And His sovereignty rules over all.
Bless the LORD, you His angels, Mighty in strength, who perform His word, Obeying the voice of His word!
Bless the LORD, all you His hosts, You who serve Him, doing His will.
Bless the LORD, all you works of His, In all places of His dominion; Bless the LORD, O my soul!