Short Bio~Hokule'a Kealoha is the Nom De Plume of a writer that formerly lived in Hawaii and is now living a life of adventure on the highways and byways of the American South . I am a Born Again follower of Jesus, as well as a wife, mother of cats and dogs,jeweler, entreprenuer, photographer and pilgrim...
Age~ Old enough to know better
Status~ Newly Single after 13 years of marriage,fur mom to the loving and devoted mini ShihTzu doggie Annabelle, born 6-11-2007 RIP 2-25-09, and the beautiful Abigail born 2-14-09
Hair Color~ natural brown/grey
Mood~ I ALWAYS have a mood, try me...
Loving~ Jesus, Hawaii, my furry friend, Abigail, my Pen Pals, Jewelry ,Blogging ,Writing anything,my Ipod,and being outdoors surrounded by my wonderful natural surroundings
Autumn Surrounds the Sanctuary, First United Methodist Church Bella Vista AR
You Are My Refuge
With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord. I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him.
When my spirit faints within me, you know my way! In the path where I walk they have hidden a trap for me. Look to the right and see: there is none who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for my soul.
I cry to you, O Lord; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” Attend to my cry, for I am brought very low! Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me! Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name! The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me.
The light on the hill, St Stephen's Catholic Church, Bentonville AR
I love this group... Third Day was the sound track for my time in Louisville, seems like they are the local fave band and I know they do get a lot of airplay on the local Christian Top 40 stations... Daily as I have trudged uphill inwardly through all of this I hear this song in my ears... A MWBS first, my first YouTube embed
Well, I know that there are some of you that wondered what happened to me, trust me I was wondering if I would be able to get back to blogging. I guess I had just run out of things to say. I also frankly have begun to feel like there are lurkers that check in on my life this way but dont take the time to pick up the phone and talk to me... The silence encouraged contact...for those of you that didnt call that have my number... dont bother...
I am well. I actually have two posts started on the two incredible jobs I have had since Labor Day, and rather than write about them now I will save them for another day.
My silence started three weeks ago when I realized that I had come to an end... I had no money, I had run out of food, Abi was sick, my utilities were going to be turned off, my insurance was canceled I had no prospects for anything. I froze up, and found that I couldnt face the world, with my Jesus smile on my face... I couldnt fathom what I was going to do or what I should do... so I stayed home suddenly on a Sunday morning, stayed in my jammies with the doggie and prayed, read the Word and leaned on God, asking God to give me the strength to face whatever it was I needed to face. The future looked really bad...
I know the truth, the God takes care of us. We are required to meet Him where He wants to meet us, that is not necessarily half way, sometimes it is 1/100 th of the way, but we need to do whatever it is that He wants us to do. I didnt know what that was until the next day. I was walking in the rain working on finding leads for my insurance work. I was lightly dressed and had a jacket on and I felt like I did 30 years ago... before I was married to the Engineer...when I walked aimlessly in West LA with my gay friends through some pretty mean streets. Hopeless and pretty lost feeling... flash forward I was hungry and cold and wondering if this was my future... There are a lot Believers living that way right now...OK God I thought I can do this if I must, as long as You are with me...
I received a phone call about an hour later from a friend asking me to do him a favor... as it turned out it was going to cost money... Not a lot of money, not enough to even register in this person's mind that "Hey, maybe she cant afford to do this for me..." But I didnt have two bucks of change left in my ashtray to get a burger...but at that point I said nothing, I waited and got the object he wanted mailed to his friend ready to mail off... When evening came, I told him via email that I hadnt the money for the project...and my phone rang...how much did I need...and please tell him what the situation really was like... which I did. He gently told me that I would receive and envelope from a mutual friend at a small group meeting we both attended the next day and I was to use what I needed to mail off the package and put the rest in my gas tank... The envelope was discreetly passed to me the next morning and there was just enough to pay UPS for the package and fill up my van with much needed gas...
In the same way I heard from a friend at church who is in management there, she was concerned that I was sick with no one to look after me... Well I told her the truth...that I just couldnt face it anymore... I am battle weary and worn out, and needed a day to just stop... She said that she didnt know how I had managed to stand up and face my situation day in and day out the way I have... and stay sane... I told her that sanity is debatable but I am still here, but... I was really in trouble and not sure what to do next. I told her my situation...There are services that can help me but they are very limited, and families are served first because the limited amount of aid goes to help more people. I shared with her that I swore I would never ask the church for help, but I didnt have anyone else to ask, my family has impossible conditions for me to meet, I have been unsuccessful in getting any sort of public assistance...
So the church got my power,phone water and car insurance caught up. I also have done some clean up work for several events held there that has brought in much needed income, that helped me pay the rent. They provided a gift card for a local market. Another friend sent me 100.00, which I have used to keep my van filled with gas. I received a bag of food for Abi...how did they know I was out of food for her? A Food Package was purchased in my name and given to me last week, things feel a bit easier..
Humbling myself before the church seems to be a key that has unlocked a huge door. I got two weeks work at a local water company... payment posting mostly but a wonderful small office with down to earth people that were just plain encouraging to be around day in and out. Then out of the the clear blue sky, a man with a local consulting firm called me. He had a 10 week plus assignment with Wal Mart.com, in fraud prevention. I have fininshed my first week and feel like this may be it, the permanant job I have been praying for. I feel very at home here and while this is very entry level and the pay reflects that, I know that God has guided me into this, and He will provide, I need to just trust Him and do my very best every day. There is the possibility they will need me after the Holidays, or that I will be able to get into another department. Walmart is not hiring here in the Home Office just now but seasonal work often leads into full time if there are openings...
Another tunnel that seems to have a light is my quest to join the Catholic Church. I had two horrid weeks at St Bernards, in their RCIA. These folks mean well but are not educated, and were not gifted in the teaching dept. It was about as interesting as watching grass grow... So a friend invited me to her church in Bentonville. They have a new priest who is a delightful man, very learned and teaches the classes himself. He is willing to work with me.. do anything needed to facilitate my entrance into the Church, and is very supportive of my continuing to minister at FUMCBV..."after all" Msgr Scott said..."its not a big leap, is it?" No its not... especially with St Stephens being what can only be described as very Contemporary with Praise and Worship music in the services, a crucifix with Jesus alive and in a posture of worship, arms raised, and a "read your Bible and witness to others" message at the Eucharist... Are we in a Baptist Church or what? Seriously, I sense a warmth of spirit and a potential for fellowship that hasnt been present before.. This is also a younger church full of young families and single people... who knows maybe I will meet Mr. Wonderful there... we never know... I just know that I have found a home there and perhaps this is the start of something big in my life...
And so there is a bit of light. I am not holding my breath, but walking forward in hope One Day at a Time, keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus the souce of my faith and provision..
The Tower at Twilight StStephen's Church Bentonville AR
The empty pulpit First United Methodist Church, Bella Vista AR
"A friend is you needs answered"... Kahlil Gibran
I found this wonderful quote a while back, which I think sums up the feelings of many in my church at the departure of our Pastor and friend, David. We wish him and his family well in their new appointment, and will miss them terribly... A sermon seemed an appropriate send off even though it was written 700 years ago, by one of Italy's great preachers of the day, Blessed Simon Fidati, of Cascia...
"A friend comes to the rescue in time of need,and if he is aware of the truth of friendship, he directs his friend just as if he were himself and puts his own members at his disposal if he has lost his. A true friend is better than a treasure, for he is not vulnerable to thieves and robbers. A friend is a lighted coal, and if placed beside it, it can rekindle a dead one. A true friend gives more attention to friendship than to the person that he is disposed to be friendly. For indeed, the person often disappoints, but the friendship is always the same. If a friend looks on a friend as the highest cause of friendship, he never can bring about a separation, even thought the person's bad behavior had deserved it, but he will wait for an improvement, or when the wrong doing merits it, for a suppression.
A true friend is a vehicle upon which the mind of the other friend invisibly carries, and the friend is carried, and it is remarkable to see how from the two of them there emerge two who carry and two who are carried. Christian friendship, which alone indeed is true, is a glorious crown of good deeds and gives trust in life, a protection and a staff supporting even those who have shown weakness, a sure refuge, a haven from the seas, release from prison, freedom from slavery, an invaluable abode of divine protection, a tower of safety, a vineyard of joy, an ever fertile field, a pleasure garden of consolation, a repository of perfumes, a full storehouse, a apiary of honey... a mirror of brightness and an intellectual vision, a bride by one's side whom the comfort's of life are shared, a pious mother, an obliging attendant, a ready handmaid, a convenient body guard, a favorable bathing place, a spring of living water, an unsleeping guard against evil, prudence in the midst of good...
a bond with life...
Christian friendship is very broad in its generality, for it is extended to all without exception or distinction, and with those with whom one cannot share one's life along the way one hopes rather to achieve this in the fatherland of heaven. One can move in this direction also though certain knowledge and frequent communication or through outstanding virtue, because virtue itself is indeed only another name for that which is the greatest of the virtues, that is love. But what is true friendship if not Christian love? For if true friendship is exchanged between God and us, between human beings and angels, between human beings and human beings, true friendship then is love.
Godspeed my friend, and don't be a stranger.. our eyes already hunger for your face...
1 Peter 5:1-11 Departing Thoughts To A Faithful Shepard
The Outdoor Chapel Mt Sequoyah United Mehodist Conference Center Fayetteville AR
Shepherd the Flock of God
So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
In the spring of 1519 a Spanish fleet set sail Cortez told his sailors this mission must not fail On the eastern shore of Mexico they landed with great dreams But the hardships of the new world made them restless and weak Quietly they whispered, "Let's sail back to the life we knew" But the one who led them there was saying
Burn the ships, we're here to stay There's no way we could go back Now that we've come this far by faith Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return Our life is here So let the ships burn
In the spring of new beginnings a searching heart set sail Looking for a new life and a love that would not fail On the shores of grace and mercy we landed with great joy But an enemy was waiting to steal, kill, and destroy Quietly he whispers, "Go back to the life you know" But the one who led us here is saying
Burn the ships, we're here to stay There's no way we could go back Now that we've come this far by faith Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return Our life is here So let the ships burn
Nobody said it would be easy But the one who brought us here Is never gonna leave us alone
Burn the ships, we're here to stay There's no way we could go back Now that we've come this far by faith Burn the ships, we've passed the point of no return Our life is here So let the ships burn
Steven Curtis Chapman
It is with great regret that the staff-parish relations committee notifies this congregation that Rev David F.... will be transfered to a new parish in Pine Bluff AR effective July 1 and Pastor Sarah________, an elder and District Superintendent and her retired husband will be transferred here to pastor this church in Bella Vista...
With the lady's words the last little threads of my mooring's here in NW Arkansas were hacked away and I am now adrift in the seas of life... My three reasons for returning here from Louisville, were to open or deal with the business situation, to finish my relationship with Woody and tie up those loose ends, and to return to a church that I have come to love
Its not just that my beloved pastor and his wife and son whom I adore are being sent all the way across the state, but they are sending a retirement aged woman to replace him... and I fear ... condemning the new work we have begun to a slow painful death. Nothing on the new pastor, I don't know her, I cant make an assumption about what she will or wont do. I am certain of one thing, We really need a young family man, full of energy and enthusiasm at the helm. Someone like David, with a vested interest in continuing the course already laid out, for the sake of his own children. Not a retiree interested in golf rounds and daytime events that the working people cant participate in... And true to form, the stereotype of Bella Vista being only a retirement community has won out and this church will be the loser. Twenty years ago, there were only Seniors here. Now Bella Vista is home to the most populous grade school in the state of Arkansas,over 500 children and it only goes to the four grade! In one year of starting a Contemporary service, we have gone from 4 kids to fifty kids and we are having our first confirmation class...150 people in Contemporary worship from zero a year ago...
This is important to me because I have been a part of this work from its inception nearly four years ago, and have nourished it prayed and been a part of it all along. There has not been time to raise up a new leader, or train people to come along side, we don't have enough people to fill all of the positions anyway, typical of a new work in any church.
Our Worship leader left us a month ago, to pursue a job in Cleveland, that left a place for me to sing on Sunday's and that has been wonderful... It was my hope to become even more involved. While my quest to become a Roman Catholic is on hold for now, I was very willing to invest myself in this congregation...
The United Methodist Church ordains women. I don't have a problem with that. I don't have a problem with women marrying, burying, teaching at various levels, being an assisting pastor or pastor in charge of youth, music or seniors. We have a lovely Senior lady, a retired pastor that has been great for our church and a big help for our pastor, as she supervises the Children's ministry and does visitation.
But I do have a problem with having a woman as a Senior Pastor, in the primary leadership role. It is not Biblical, and it is not found in Tradition. It is not something that I can go along with. Its is a cruel blow to me, as it will effectively end my relationship with the church, and that finishes off any support system that I have in the area. It kills me.
I have spent my last 24 hours in a sort of numb shock...right after service yesterday I came home and Woody met me and we took Abigal out to Oklahoma to the Breeders where she is going to be with her Mum and sibs for at least a month to gain maturity and to work on house manners. While driving Woody and I talked about his future. He will probably be returning to the West Coast once our home has sold, regardless of our marital status. If he does this I am going to ask him to file for a divorce in CA, which will be easier to get, and less hastle
More endings, more reasons to look elsewhere to settle. I have no job, I do not own this house and likely I wont because I am spending the down payment. I have no family here, and no social life, and now no church.
There are a lot of churches here and Im sure I could find one very easily that I would fit into. I would look specifically for ministry to my age group and single adults. It also needs to be close.
One church that comes to mind is Gracepoint Church dot com I have some familiarity with this body, friends go there and I visited with their Pastor a few weeks ago when I was feeling low down. When Walmart sacked all of those people a few weeks ago, they brainstormed and set up a ongoing ministry called HOPE - NWA I am going there tonight to the monthly meeting for HOPE-NWA. Maybe I can get some help on finding a job.
March 31
What a difference a day makes. I considered erasing this whole post because of the meeting I had today with Pastor David. With out saying anything to him about why I wanted to meet with him, he laid out the reasons why the Conference Board made this decision. This move will affect a number of churches and by moving David, it will facilitate the moving of another man that really needs to move to a body that has been having a really hard time. It makes sense to a degree when he explains it. But it doesnt lessen the pain or the fact that when he is not there, the energy level drops to zero in that building. I am scared and in this hour of disruption and pain in my life this was the LAST thing I needed.
While he served me coffee, another thing about him, his graciousness as a host and a servant-leader...I had a chance to meet Pastor Sarah... boy that is alien on my toungue. I saw a photo...I wouldnt have guessed this lady was 62 by the look of her... David had a letter she had written to him...beautiful in wording, almost a poem,...He said he'd give a lot to be able to write like that. He had a message on his phone that Sarah left, she seemed so loving and kind, knowing that this is a brutal separation, a certainly unexpected one... encouraging him. I really liked that. It told me a lot about her.
I was assured that she cares about the work, that she has the energy to maintain the level of passion necessary to push us to the next level. Many people who have been around awhile know her already and love her.
I felt a bit reduced. I had prejudged Sarah in a lot of areas. But nothing said changed the theological truth about a woman as a seinor pastor. David asked me to consider all of the reasons why Methodism allows this practice.Even joking with me that this posting had really allowed him to get in touch with his "feminine side", and that I had sat under a man who "wore a dress" every sunday for four years... an allusion to the clerical gown and the european style cassock he wore early on that he gave up due to peer pressure about the roman collar atached to it... "Be all things to all men, he said quoting Paul... All of those reasons, to me, allow for ministry but negate the Pauline injunctions about headship. Only in extreemis shoud a woman be in charge like this. Maybe there is no one else... we never got to that point...
Without asking me to stay on, he did ask me to stay on, but pointing out the changes that are about to occur in the Team, let alone this move... and that if I wanted to honor him, would I be willing to be there to see that the work we have begun be lasting and effective...to endure. I have found that thought to be compelling.
The loss of my friend is really painful. This is the first person I have met in many years that just connected at points that seemed just amazing to me. He wasnt afraid to reach out to me and to take an intrest in my life. Carla his wife and his son always were inclusive and I felt connected to them... They changed my feelings about church, and about Pastors, and pastor's families. I had a chance to really see into a mans life that has helped me make choices regarding abandoning my unhealthy marriage and being open to a healthy relationship in the future. He didnt always understand, but accepts my faith journey as it comes, helping me to do the same. And, as a Wounded Healer, he has encouraged me to continue to seek healing in my own life. Its huge....
He stated a fact, the church is not the pastor. I come from a place (Calvary Chapel) where that view is the opposite. Certainly the Catholic Church doesnt support this view, and one of the reasons the Methodist church moves its pastors around is exactly this reason. I need to change my heart attutde, and not be so angry and upset... I saw all of these people today in the office that I would miss terribly if I left, compounding my losses even more, adding grief upon grief...
I gave serious consideration that I might follow David and Carla to Pine Bluff. If there was a position in the church, or there were jobs I would certainly consider it. My hero in the faith Anne Hutchinson followed the Puritan teacher, John Cotton to the new world... I know people in the Calvary Chapels that followed pastors from location to location... but truthfully today, I realized that this is not God's plan for me. I looked into his face as we had coffee, I saw pain and weariness that my anxiety didnt help... and I realized that the ultimate way I can be a friend is to let go, be strong and to what I can to help make the transition smooth, and be available and supportive.
I do need to Burn the Ships. the ships of the Past. I asked God to teach me to trust Him, with every blow, every loss and every day of accute insecurity, I can only draw closer to Him, and not cling to anyone or anything. I need to trust in God's will and not be overly upset and anxious about anything that happens.
After today I am looking forward to meeting this lady, I may not agree with the politics of the denomination, or how this comes about. But God knows that, and He will lead me on, there is no turning back.
How far to Bethlehem? The First United Methodist Church, Bethlehem Ky
Isaiah 58
True and False Righteousness
"Cry aloud; do not hold back; lift up your voice like a trumpet; declare to my people their transgression, to the house of Jacob their sins. Yet they seek me daily and delight to know my ways, as if they were a nation that did righteousness and did not forsake the judgment of their God; they ask of me righteous judgments; they delight to draw near to God. 'Why have we fasted, and you see it not? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you take no knowledge of it?' Behold, in the day of your fast you seek your own pleasure, and oppress all your workers. Behold, you fast only to quarrel and to fight and to hit with a wicked fist. Fasting like yours this day will not make your voice to be heard on high. Is such the fast that I choose, a day for a person to humble himself? Is it to bow down his head like a reed, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? Will you call this a fast, and a day acceptable to the Lord?
"Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.' If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, if you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in."
"If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath, from doing your pleasure on my holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight and the holy day of the Lord honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly; then you shall take delight in the Lord, and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth; I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken."
The hills a fire Trees just starting to turn. Kentucky River State Park near Owenton KY
The Worship Center of Watkins United Methodist Church. www.watkinsumc.com Springhurst/Westport Louisville KY
Acts 2 14a, 36-41
But Peter, standing with the eleven, lifted up his voice and addressed them, “Men of Judea and all who dwell in Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and give ear to my words"
Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified.”
Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.”And with many other words he bore witness and continued to exhort them, saying, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation.”So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls.
based on design by mela