August 30, 2007

Life Lessons With Annabelle

Annabelle in the grass, taken by the breeder in Mc Curtain OK August 11 2007

post started 8-23-07

The Alarm clock goes off and a baby cries as if on cue. The young man staggers out of bed and gets a bottle off of his dresser and goes to the makeshift crib and picks up the baby. He sticks the nipple into the baby's mouth and the crying stops, after a few minutes the baby cries again. The young man goes throught the motions of changing a diaper... He rubs his face sleepily and sighs "this is really hard..."

The young man slides into a desk in his Early Childhood Developement class. His girlfriend is sitting next to him, both have "babies" in their arms. She looks like she got absolutely NO sleep the night before, and comments " This baby feels like 25 pounds of lead in my arms, no kids for me for quite a while!"....These antonomically correct "dolls" are weighted and feel like a human infant. They are also driven by a small programed unit that causes the doll to cry and otherwise act like a real baby. It can sense that the proper motions have occured for feeding diapering, rocking and will cry or not cry accordingly. It is a great way to show someone just how rigorus having a young child is...

I didnt take the class. But I am getting a tiny taste of motherhood with the arrival of Annabelle to our home this past week. Neither Woody nor I have had a creature so small and dependent in our lives up until now, so this has been quite an experience.

I drove out to Oaklahoma to the breeder last saturday... I really underestimated the distance and it was over 250 miles. The breeder's kennel was just nasty... that is the only way I can discribe it. I have been in a number of them and have never seen conditions like this that poor animals were kept in. I dont think that I would have bought my puppy from her except she really loves her dogs... Its apparent by how they interact with her, she is very good to them, but I was afraid that her upbringing was going to make it difficult for her to ajust to living in our home, housetraining ect. Well I was wrong.

First of all, the little thing is very good, sweet natured and smart. She has worked hard to adapt to her humans needs and in turn, her humans have struggled to figure out what she is trying to say to us.

She lives with me on my side of the house in the unfinished master bathroom. Its perfect for her crate and she has room for running around if I prop the crate open and let her do that. The tile floor is easy to clean up. She doesnt have the run of the house, for which the cats are grateful... Makoa and KaNani are interested in her but not hostile nor are they going out of their way to spend time with her

We were doing the training pad thing but didnt understand her reluctance to use them. She didnt miss often, and seemed contrite when she didint hit the mark. She was also really going in her crate a lot. I thought...well, she is 3 months old and that situation she was raised in was disgusting... she doesnt know where she needs to go, our house is so clean she is confused...

Well yesterday, in disgust at her early morning crying, and dispairing at her lack of bathroom initiative, I harnessed her up and took her outside to the front lawn. She had turned her nose up at the grass before, this time she made a bee line for the grass and began to go. I took her out hourly all that morning.... and this morning we took that walk several and were highly sucessful. And yours truly was able to get all of her much needed sleep today and poor Annabelle was not crying all night...

The puppy got her owner house trained all in one day...

Seriously. I do see most plainly just how lacking in paitence I am, and I find myself praying often that I learn a bit of paitence, especially with Annabelle. She is paitence itself with me and is loving and so trusting. One of my spiritual defects is a lack of a trusting nature with regrads to God's care and provision towards me. Again its something that I want to work through and perhaps Annabelle is a tool in this classroom of faith.

Woody is captivated with her. At first it was "shes your dog... Im only here to help" but more and more its Woody that gets her outside in the morning. At night he has her from the time he gets home untill he has to go to bed... I say "has" because I detect a reluctance to put her back in her crate for bedtime. She sleeps pretty much through the night now. By the time winter come and she has to move out of the chilly bathroom I forsee her living in Woody's room. Im glad that the two of them get along so famously. He is her cuddle friend and they have fun playing and snuggling together.

Annabelle and I "do" things together, we go visiting the neighbors and take long walks around the neighborhood. I brush her out everyday and horror of horrors, gave her a bath, which she recovered from in about one minute, with sufficient treats and consoling cuddles. Fortunatley for her its warm enough that we didnt use a blow drier, she air dried quickly.

8-30

She grows and is maturing rapidly. Annabelle hasnt had an accident since we started going outside. She is walking beautifully on a leash and is the darling of the neighborhood.

Woody and I are working together at caring for her, and finding that having a project gives us some needed focus. She is very time consuming, but all things considered, she is a wonderful addition to our family.

We continue to hold to the "peaceable kingdom" rule. No barking at the cats and no hissing, charging, or blocking the door towords Annabelle. Mak is the most interested in her and has been pretty laid back, but last night he charged her crate. Nani hisses but runs away. Eventually I hope that they can peacefully co-exisit without supervision. But that will be awhile.

I am learning to relax a bit but I am also seeing that I need to be firm as Annabelle is developing her own personality and is quite strong willed. Both Woody and I are trying to be good puppy parents and absorb as many life lessons from Annabelle as we can

Labels: Annabelle, Cats, Woody

August 25, 2007

Psalm 39~Hear The Repentant Prayer

Beaver Lake Arkansas

Psalm 39

I said, “I will guard my ways,
that I may not sin with my tongue;
I will guard my mouth with a muzzle,
so long as the wicked are in my presence.”


I was mute and silent;
I held my peace to no avail,
and my distress grew worse.


My heart became hot within me.
As I mused, the fire burned;
then I spoke with my tongue:



“O Lord, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!


“Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah


“Surely a man goes about as a shadow!
Surely for nothing they are in turmoil;
man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather!



“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in you.


“Deliver me from all my transgressions.
Do not make me the scorn of the fool!


“I am mute; I do not open my mouth,
for it is you who have done it.


“Remove your stroke from me;
I am spent by the hostility of your hand.


“When you discipline a man
with rebukes for sin,
you consume like a moth what is dear to him;
surely all mankind is a mere breath! Selah


“Hear my prayer, O Lord,
and give ear to my cry;
hold not your peace at my tears!
For I am a sojourner with you,
a guest, like all my fathers.
"Look away from me, that I may smile again,
before I depart and am no more!”

Labels: Scenic Arkansas, scripture

August 19, 2007

John 14:1-14~ The Promise of a Home

Antebellum Splendour, Mansion in Charleston South Carolina



I Am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life

(and Jesus said)"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.And you know the way to where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?"Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.7If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.”

Philip said to him, "Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.Jesus said to him, "Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own authority, but the Father who dwells in me does his works."Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, or else believe on account of the works themselves."

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

Labels: scripture, Traveling

August 13, 2007

The Medicine Machine

Bathers at Kamahole Beach Maui Hawaii. Nearly one in five persons not insured by employers have state supported health insurance. Hawaii has a good catastrophic insurance program for the indegent and has a good VA system in place for veterans. Still we saw huge inequities in health care, with many people doing without basic services. There was only one emergency room on our side of the island where there were 100,000 people living and the conditions were in many ways primative and desparate. Often times the only doctor that could see you was in ER as it took months to get an appointment to see a doctor that flew in from another island because there were so few medical professionals living there.

"Hoku, Im calling you to tell you that you were right on in sending me to that Redi Clinic at the Walmart...they were great!"
"So, what happened?"
"The nurse took a few notes on my issues then gave me a once over, I didnt have to get undressed. They took blood and said that they would give me tests for all of the usual stuff like blood sugar, cholesterol, and even a test for prostate trouble..."
"So, how much was it?"
"Sixty bucks...isnt that great? It would have cost a lot more if I had just walked in to see a doctor. I will get my results over the internet and I can print them out and take them to my doctor if there is a problem. If something is really wrong they will call me personally."

"That is great, imagine if you were a mom with kids and no insurance that would beat going to the ER..." I thought

Two days later we got a phone call...The nurse was kind and had a referal to a Physician in her hands. Woody's blood sugar was over 500, his colesterol was 320 and his blood pressure was through the roof. They faxed over the report to his doctor, not the one that they had for him... but they were ready with the referal to a doctor if he didnt have one, and it was a great thing...Dr Ludens, his GP was very impressed and got Woody on meds and he is doing better and is back to work... but there was fall out

Woody had an eye exam today and his vision has deteriorated massively and will need a strong corrective percription. It was likely due to the diabetes going untreated for so long because he had no insurance... By the way all of those tests would have cost 400.00 if he had them done in Dr. Ludens office, which is a part of a major medical group in our area

Photo Courtesy of AP- The Redi Clinic inside the Walmart in the Pleasent Grove Shopping Center Lowell/Rogers Arkansas.

I had seen this Redi Clinic newly opened in the Wal mart near my work, and sent Woody over there. Thank God I did, because he was going blind, and could have died from the high blood sugar. I have heard similar stories in the past few weeks of sick babies, and inexpensive school shots and a single mother between insurance programs that needed a doctor but had little money. The "in between" people need help with their medical care. Seinors not quite old enough for MediCare but uninsured otherwise really need help. Woody falls into this catagory. My Mother became too disabled to work full time and lost her medical insurance at 59. Because she was indegent she went to the county medical center and spent many hours in the now infamous emergency room lobby where the woman was left on the floor to die a few weeks ago.By the way..what the news didnt say about that woman and that situation was that she was a meth head that came and went and the place was full to the rafters with gun shot victims...as Mom would say when she went there..."gunshot wounds, and babies go first". There were times when that would mean she would spend the night sleeping in her wheel chair so that others could get help but eventually the doctors would get to Mom and they always gave her what she needed and she had good care there. Sad they closed it. Those folks needed the help those medical heros provided

But I digress. The Medical establishment is hell bent on preserving their hegmony over the health care industry and the Walmart bashers are moving to regulate these clinics. Read the article below

Concerns rise over care at retail health clinics
AMA warns of conflict of interest, docs worry health probs may be missed

AP NEW YORK - Increasingly, American consumers are shopping for health care the way they buy a hamburger or milk shake at a fast-food chain: By standing in line at a local store under a menu.

Store-based health clinics — which are staffed mostly by nurse practitioners and offer quick services for routine conditions from colds and bladder infections to sunburn — aren't just a health care fad anymore, but fast becoming a serious industry.

About 7 percent of Americans have tried a clinic at least once, according to an estimate by the Convenient Care Association, an industry trade group formed last year. That number is expected to increase dramatically, as major pharmacy operators like Wal-Mart Stores Inc., CVS Corp., Target Corp. and Walgreen Co., partner with miniclinic providers like RediClinic and MinuteClinic to expand operations. The trade group estimated there will be more than 700 by year-end, up from the more than 400 now, and 2,000 by the end of 2008.

With the nation's $2 trillion health care system in need of repair, such an express approach to health care — which offers a wait time averaging about 15 minutes and evening and weekend hours — is being heralded as serving up a cheaper and quicker alternative than a doctor's office or an emergency room. A physical exam costs on average $60, while a flu shot typically costs about $20. A strep throat test has a price tag of about $15.

"I was frankly very impressed with how thorough (the examination) was," said Susan Anthony, who visited a clinic at a Phoenix, Md., Target for a dry cough. "And it was fast. I walked in at 10:30 a.m. and was in my car a little after 11:00 a.m."

Some doctors expanding hours to compete
The American Medical Association said a growing number of medical practices are extending their office hours or forming their own clinics to compete. But concerns about quality of care are rising among physicians and some industry experts say the clinics' services need to be more comprehensive if they are going to have a big impact on reducing overall health care costs.

The competition is already spawning expanded services as well as new spinoffs. Consumer Health Services Inc. — founded by a former investor of MinuteClinic, considered the pioneer in the industry — just started rolling out walk-in doctor's offices at Duane Reade Inc. drugstores in the New York City area. The clinics offer broader services that include wart removal and treatment for sprained ankles.

Support among health insurance companies is growing; about 40 percent to 50 percent of clinics accept insurance from providers like Humana Inc., UnitedHealth Group Inc. and Aetna Inc., according to CCA.

"(Store-based clinics) provide another access point for our members," said Allen Karp, vice president of health care delivery for Aetna.

Concerns that clinics may have conflict of interest
But concerns are rising in the medical industry that these operations remain largely unregulated and are prone to conflicts of interest. Some physicians are also concerned that the clinics could disrupt the continuity of care and result in serious underlying health conditions going undetected.

In June, the American Medical Association urged state and federal agencies to look into whether pharmacy chain-owned clinics urge patients to get their prescriptions filled on site. That followed buyouts of miniclinics by two big-name pharmacy operators: Walgreen bought Conshohocken, Pa.-based Take Care Health Systems in June, and CVS acquired Minneapolis-based MinuteClinic last year.

Dr. Peter Carmel, a trustee on the AMA board, said "the path of abuse is wide open," and the clinics need to be better regulated.

Some states try to regulate nurses' role
A growing number of states have passed legislation to better define the role of the nurse practitioner at these clinics, but store-based clinic executives say some of the state rules are too burdensome and hinder growth. According to the American College of Nurse Practitioners, approximately 23 states allow nurse practitioners to treat patients on their own. The remainder requires some formal relationship with a physician, which varies from supervision to collaboration. In Texas, for example, the physician is required to be at the site for 20 percent of the time a clinic is open.

Store-based health clinics are held to the same high standards as doctors' offices, said Tine Hansen-Turten, executive director of the Convenient Care Association. She pointed out that store clinics are either monitored by a state board of nursing or board of medicine, and sometimes by both.

AMA also wants to ban the practice of health insurance companies waiving or lowering co-payments for clinic patients, which it calls a conflict of interest.

Photo Courtesy of the AP. Lady getting an initial screening at the Redi Clinic inside the Walmart at Pleasent Grove Lowell AR


Dr. David Plocher, the senior medical officer at Blue Cross Blue Shield of Minnesota, said that "the normal market forces should determine such things." His company has reduced or waived co-payments for 25 member companies who use MinuteClinics and several other store-based clinics.

Much cheaper than ER visit
The savings can be significant.

A visit to a store-based clinic averages about $60, but a doctor's visit costs twice as much, particularly in urban markets, according to Barry Barnett, a health care consultant for PricewaterhouseCoopers. That compares to about $300 for an emergency room visit, according to Barnett.

About 40 percent to 50 percent of clinics take insurance. Hansen-Turten estimated 50 percent of clinic customers pay cash, but she noted that the majority have insurance.

Like many of his industry peers, Michael Howe, president and CEO of MinuteClinic, said the concerns about quality are overblown.

"I wouldn't call it express care. I would call it efficient care," added Howe.

The AMA denies that its criticism of these clinics is being driven by economic interests, though there's no doubt that primary physicians could lose some business as their insured patients go elsewhere for minor ailments.

But health care consultants say that while the clinics may help save customers money and time, their ability to reduce overall health care costs will probably be limited given that they are really tackling the most minor of health problems.

A bigger effect lies in increased worker availability as employees don't have to take as much time out of their work schedules to go to a doctor's office, according to Dr. Tim Newman, senior medical consultant for Watson Wyatt Worldwide.

The growing number of onsite clinics at workplaces, staffed by physicians, actually have more of a potential to reduce overall health care costs since they focus on disease management, not episodic illnesses. The onsite clinics are not part of the Convenient Care Association's total count, since they are not store-based clinics and have a different model.

Some patients skeptical
Store clinics are proving to be good business; they take about 12 to 18 months to break even. For retailers, the highest-margin products continue to be pharmaceutical, and clinics average about one drug prescription per patient, according to clinic providers. Also, stores can enjoy additional sales when sick customers pick up other items.

But it's still big challenge to gain trust among consumers wary about being treated at a local drug store. Dr. Susan Bowers-Johnson, the medical director for the current four clinic locations at Duane Reade, said that a father recently brought in his 4-year-old child who had a sore on his hand. He said if she was going to prescribe antibiotics, he would rather get them through his family physician.

"Many people are skeptical," she acknowledged.

Im skeptical of the greedy medical establishment.

I am a political conservative and you can pretty much tell by my faith and values where I am going to stand on something, but here I stand with liberals and whoever. I think that it is flat out wrong that people die for want of basic healthcare in this country. Im not sure what the answer is or how you actually accomplish it but somehow there has to be a better way to deliver quality healthcare in this country. Tying healthcare to employment or marital status is crazy. Life is not one size fits all.

I personally know a couple that were uninsured and had a baby, $20,000 they were charged and they were told they couldnt take the baby home until they had made some arrangement to pay the bill... Can you imagine? She had to stay a week in the hospital and had issues sure but 20,000 dollars? Last December you remember that Woody had a overnight stay in the hospital, he didnt even have a room was in the annex of the ER where they observe paitents, had two meals and some tests saw a doctor or two $10,000 they billed the insurance company who have said "no way" to a lot of the charges... Now they want us to pay them. Woody told them to sue him they have gotten the Lion's share of their money. He wasnt paying anymore.

People go bankrupt, lose a life's savings, allow small problems to get out of control for want of insurance. Doctors charge whatever at the end of the visit and you are stuck. The Redi Clinic posts its rates upfront, no surprises. They do a pretty through exam. One of my work friends' sons had his Football exam last week, and she was shocked at how complete it was... so was the young man...

No, its not a free clinic, you have to pay and upfront for the services. No its not all inclusive, its a stopgap for minor issues. What it is is a choice, proof that the minor everyday services that we all need from time to time can be provided at a low cost on a cash basis. Its also proof that if we are willing, we can change a venerable institution that needs to update its self in order to meet the needs of our society. If we can simplify care delivery more of us can get the care we need afordably. It is one way to move towards a solution to this problem and it needs to be allowed to florish in the marketplace

Labels: Breaking News, Current Events

August 12, 2007

Deuteronomy 30~~Choose Life

The Ashley River, Charleston SC

A Call to Return to the Lord
"Suppose all these things happen to you-the blessings and the curses I have listed,and you meditate on them as you are living among the nations to which the Lord your God has exiled you. If at that time you return to the Lord your God, and you and your children begin wholeheartedly to obey all the commands I have given you today, then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes. He will have mercy on you and gather you back from all the nations where he has scattered you. Though you are at the ends of the earth, the Lord your God will go and find you and bring you back again. He will return you to the land that belonged to your ancestors, and you will possess that land again. He will make you even more prosperous and numerous than your ancestors!

"The Lord your God will cleanse your heart and the hearts of all your descendants so that you will love him with all your heart and soul, and so you may live! The Lord your God will inflict all these curses on your enemies and persecutors. Then you will again obey the Lord and keep all the commands I am giving you today. The Lord your God will make you successful in everything you do. He will give you many children and numerous livestock, and your fields will produce abundant harvests, for the Lord will delight in being good to you as he was to your ancestors. The Lord your God will delight in you if you obey his voice and keep the commands and laws written in this Book of the Law, and if you turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and soul.


The Choice of Life or Death

"This command I am giving you today is not too difficult for you to understand or perform. It is not up in heaven, so distant that you must ask, `Who will go to heaven and bring it down so we can hear and obey it?' It is not beyond the sea, so far away that you must ask, `Who will cross the sea to bring it to us so we can hear and obey it?' The message is very close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart so that you can obey it.
"Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between prosperity and disaster, between life and death. I have commanded you today to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, laws, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and become a great nation, and the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy. But if your heart turns away and you refuse to listen, and if you are drawn away to serve and worship other gods, then I warn you now that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live a long, good life in the land you are crossing the Jordan to occupy.
"Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, that you and your descendants might live! Choose to love the Lord your God and to obey him and commit yourself to him, for he is your life. Then you will live long in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."

Labels: scripture

August 06, 2007

Posts to Ponder

A Community of Cows Near Garfield Arkansas

I love Blogging and count a number of my fellow bloggers as my friends, and on occasion I like to point out some of their great blogs and posts that are just wonderful and deserve and extra look by people that might not normally give them a looksee...

My dear friend Smooth of Smoothstone writes tirelessly on Israel and issues surrounding the Holy Lands and there was a post recently that was so interesting that it inspired me to do this post. For those of you who are Bible readers or are interested in history this post on the historicity of the story of Samson was wonderful Smooth also posts on current events and the War on Terror.

Norma at Collecting My Thoughts Always has something thought provoking to say, and I love her writing style

John Bailey and his partner Graham have become a part of my family as I read John's Blog, The Journal of a Writing Man John has shown me a quiet peice of British life that I so enjoy. Like Woody and I these two have been on a journey of relocating to a home they hoped they could stay in and now they are moving again...the adventure continues

I laughed out loud at this post from Cowtown Pattie at her blog Texas Trifles Not being a fan of the theory of global warming... (From a historical perspective a lot of hogwash and a way for some folks to push their ideas off onto you by government mandate...) The ideas in this post will make you smile

Do you love cats kittens and all of their antics? I found Lizzie's delightful blog, 922 Cats, and nearly daily tune in to hear the goings on in the household of Banshee, Lucy, Petunia, Buddy, Cyrano, Cloud, Angel,and AreToo. Now I am going to have to shop for a doggy blog for Annabelle.

And lastly, last year my neighbor and friend Ginger went to Africa on the adventure of a lifetime. She wrote about her journey to Kenya and her continuing journies, now back to Africa for a two week trip to the interior of Mali on her Blog, Kajabe and Back

Blogging has been a sanity saver and a way for me to tell my story to the world. As I near the 4 year anniversary of My Wide Blue Seas, I want to thank you the reader for your intrest in my world. I relish the stories of others that I have met along this way. I ponder their thoughts and find my life the richer for them

Labels: Blog Recomends, Blogging

August 05, 2007

Mark 8:1-21~Provision In The Wilderness

summer pasture, near Holiday Island Arkansas

Jesus Feeds the Four Thousand

In those days, when again a great crowd had gathered, and they had nothing to eat, he called his disciples to him and said to them,"I have compassion on the crowd, because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat.And if I send them away hungry to their homes, they will faint on the way. And some of them have come from far away." And his disciples answered him, "How can one feed these people with bread here in this desolate place?" And he asked them, "How many loaves do you have?" They said, "Seven." And he directed the crowd to sit down on the ground. And he took the seven loaves, and having given thanks, he broke them and gave them to his disciples to set before the people; and they set them before the crowd.And they had a few small fish. And having blessed them, he said that these also should be set before them.And they ate and were satisfied. And they took up the broken pieces left over, seven baskets full.And there were about four thousand people. And he sent them away. And immediately he got into the boat with his disciples and went to the district of Dalmanutha.

The Pharisees Demand a Sign

The Pharisees came and began to argue with him, seeking from him a sign from heaven to test him. And he sighed deeply in his spirit and said, "Why does this generation seek a sign? Truly, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation." And he left them, got into the boat again, and went to the other side.

The Leaven of the Pharisees

Now they had forgotten to bring bread, and they had only one loaf with them in the boat. And he cautioned them, saying, "Watch out; beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod." And they began discussing with one another the fact that they had no bread. And Jesus, aware of this, said to them, "Why are you discussing the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?" They said to him, "Twelve." "And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?" And they said to him, "Seven."And he said to them, "Do you not yet understand?".

Labels: Scenic Arkansas, scripture

August 01, 2007

The Fullness of Summer

Summer Pasture Centerton Arkansas

The heat has finally come after weeks of mild summer temperatures. Its been very humid with some thunderstrms but not a lot of rain, which we could use. Still the grass is full and tall. The hay making is in full swing with the round bales very plentifull in this area. I saw a pair of whitetail bucks cross my path at noon last week, velvet hanging in a tattered fringe about their heads. The cats are throwing their summercoats already. I combed a huge furball of dead hair off Makkie this week.

Woody and I worked around the house this weekend, it will be the last time we have this chance as Woody is going back to the car lot this time in Fayetteville, to the Honda dealership. I wish him well but have my doubts. How many times has he gone out full of hope only to be crushed and left out...I couldnt find it in my heart to be glad for him... I see this as a expensive way to hang out. Im giving it three months. I hope he proves me dead wrong...but its hard to hold to a dead hope

So we did something we had been talking about, which was what to do with the number of large peices of furniture that we have that we dont use. I located a consignment shop that was delighted to take them for a small commission, if I rented a booth. I have boxes of stuff to take down there, so I loaded stuff up and we took it down. There wasnt any time to price it so I will be doing that this week. If it works out I may be able to do what I wanted to at the Grapevine which was to sell some of this Hawaiian stuff that was left over...perhaps we can

Its amazing to to be so full up with things that you find yourself overwelmed. My house is clutterd with things that I will never use again. I realised that I need to dump a large portion of my library as I am not reading those books and they take up space that I need to live in. I am in a position to move into a larger dwelling in fact we talk about downsizing even more as we get older... so I am really pushing to get rid of a lot of stuff . I walk around with a carton in my hand sticking things into it to sell or give away. There is enough to stock the booth for six months of steady buyers...

The cash will be flowing back into the general fund, to help offset the costs of setting up a home for Annabelle. The corral, crate with bedding and toys and all of her gear is now at about 300.00. Add her price at 450.00 (all shots and papers included) thats a lot of money, but she'll be worth it. The neighbors are looking forward to seeing her. I hope she is a good dog and doesnt bark a lot.

My passport arrived this past week... I am now officially back to the name I was born with. I didnt realize that my divoce papers didnt specifically say that my maiden name was restored, but this makes it more or less official...I can go anyplace I want to go now but am putting my international plans on hold for a bit...

I have had a lot of challenges regarding money, in recent days. Woody was encouraging me to make the trip to Ireland with John Michael Talbot. It is a once in a lifetime trip. But, by the time I pay the fees, add in the spending money and the airfare to JFK Im looking at between 5000.00 to 6000.00 for one person. Woody and I can do a lot of traveling together for that. So I have chosen not to make that trip. I am disapointed but there are many good reasons to NOT leave here right now for two weeks. Annabelle, is one, but also things are going ok at work but not swimmingly on this account I am on. They really need me there and while I am due a weeks vacation I was getting the gift of an extra week off (time but no pay). So I will just take my week and we are going to Panama City Beach again to the time share that Woody bought me for my birthday in 2006!

My other challenge this past week was a car. I like a nice car. I had a wonderful car that I drove for years and left on the Big Island when we relocated... I miss it terribly. My van is nice, drives ok... I like the way you sit up and have a nice view of everything... but its a VAN and I feel like a old lady. A lot of things in my life make me feel that way right now.

So Woody takes the Avalon back to the dealership to have the repairs done that were a part of the sale agreement, and gets a loaner a 2008 Chevy Impala. This is a nice car...a really nice car. Roomy enough even for me the space freak. I am sooo claustrophobic. It drove really nice too. We took it out to Oaklahoma to look at Annabelle It made that long drive seem effortless. The cost of this mechanical magic carpet $28,000.00. My van is worth about what I paid for it and I could sell it right away to someone here at "thisplace" Lots of young parents looking for a family ride at a good price. It got great mileage for a full size car which made it really attractive...

We looked hard at this...and I wrestled with it. I actually felt anxious about it and the trip to Ireland too.All I could think about was the financial aspects. It was crazy...I lost sleep over it and it consumed my thoughts. Should I do it shouldnt I do it... Finally, when the passport came and I had to make a firm decision about the trip, I was able to say no to the car too. It boiled down to vanity. My vanity and a feeling that somehow in light of Woody buying his car I should too. This is totally wrong, a terrible misuse of money and would have put me into bondage to a big car payment for years...Im glad I didnt do that...

I have a good life, and dont need anything else to make me happy...well maybe a puppy, but pets are another thing. I didnt buy the 1500.00 dog,I shopped and took a hard look at a lot of breeders, interviewing them over the phone. Annabelle is not a show dog, but she has been raised with love and careful hands...The amount she costs is fair and reasonable. I can look forward to years of happy companionship with her. that is priceless.

But my point is that I am striving to learn to be content and grateful. I am grateful for my job and am trying to be content...but the dream of having my own business is not dead yet... I am still on my buying fast sort of, and resisting mindless shopping. The fullness of my current life should be enough to satisfy me. I need to strive to be content, even in the face of change and what seems to be unfairness or favoring of Woody. God will give me what ever I need, I need to place my trust in Him, not worry and look at the fullness of this beautiful summer. I will have all that I ever need, and peace besides if I do just that...

Labels: Annabelle, Bella Vista, Breaking News, Faith, John Michael Talbot, Scenic Arkansas, Woody, working