October 28, 2007

Psalm 118~Praise In The Face of Adversity

Autumn Leaves

Psalm 118

His Steadfast Love Endures Forever
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
for his steadfast love endures forever!

Let Israel say,
“His steadfast love endures forever.”
Let the house of Aaron say,
“His steadfast love endures forever.
Let those who fear the Lord say,
“His steadfast love endures forever.”

Out of my distress I called on the Lord;
the Lord answered me and set me free.

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.
What can man do to me?
The Lord is on my side as my helper;
I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.

It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in princes.

All nations surrounded me;
in the name of the Lord I cut them off!
They surrounded me, surrounded me on every side;
in the name of the Lord I cut them off!12They surrounded me like bees;
they went out like a fire among thorns;
in the name of the Lord I cut them off!
I was pushed hard, so that I was falling,
but the Lord helped me.

The Lord is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.
Glad songs of salvation
are in the tents of the righteous:
“The right hand of the Lord does valiantly,
the right hand of the Lord exalts,
the right hand of the Lord does valiantly!”

I shall not die, but I shall live,
and recount the deeds of the Lord.
The Lord has disciplined me severely,
but he has not given me over to death.

Open to me the gates of righteousness,
that I may enter through them
and give thanks to the Lord.
This is the gate of the Lord;
the righteous shall enter through it.
I thank you that you have answered me
and have become my salvation.
The stone that the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone.
This is the Lord's doing;
it is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day that the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Save us, we pray, O Lord!
O Lord, we pray, give us success!

Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!
We bless you from the house of the Lord.
The Lord is God,
and he has made his light to shine upon us.
Bind the festal sacrifice with cords,
up to the horns of the altar!

You are my God, and I will give thanks to you;
you are my God; I will extol you.
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
for his steadfast love endures forever!

Labels: Scenic Arkansas, scripture

October 26, 2007

Fellowship of the Cane

The latest accessories for my journey, my walking boot, my cane and my crutches.

"Now Hoku, try doing a bit of walking without that boot on...it will hurt and swell some but in a few weeks it will be a lot better...yes, yes use your cane for balance and try not to put your full weight on it as you are walking along..."

And I was released to go back to work. Six weeks of "disability" has taught me a lot... Now I thought that I was enlightened regarding the disabled and their difficulties, but I truly had no idea how life really is day in and out with a "handicapped" placard hanging from your car visor and a cane in our hand...After all I was with my mother for her nearly twenty year struggle with Parkinson's'...14 of those years undiagnosed... not that a doctor's stamp would have changed anything...

Mom embraced life in a wheelchair early on. She figured out that she could go a lot further and live life just a little faster utilizing wheels rather than her stumbling feet. She put her clumsiness down to her weight, a notoriously bad back and pinched nerves. That all contributed, Im sure but Diabetic Neuropathy and Parkinson's were the real culprits, and a chair didn't aggravate that. I saw the chair as a way to keep from exercising and a "giving up" of mobility. Laziness in the beginning, and a burden later as I damaged my own back hauling her and it out of my car. Once loaded up,she scooted down store aisles and parking lots at dangerous speeds. It must have felt very freeing... but the reality was she was trapped in that chair and eventually, a bed in a nursing home. Her frustration must have been a horror.

I have felt the pain of feeling trapped as I wore my boot and tried to do the activities that make up my daily life. Because I am too large for a woman's size and the man's was a tad too long, the steel supports interfered with my knee making getting up off of lower set seat a challenge. I have gotten "stuck" in a seat at a Taco Bell, on a supposed "handicapped" size toilet in one of the four rooms we had at the hotel in New Albany (we were moved four times in four days, until we got a room that had proper "handicapped accommodation" we got free nights for the improper ones...)My boot got caught in a threshold and I fell to the floor, alone and I couldn't get up without struggling to get the boot off then pull myself up. Countless times Woody had to rescue me. I went without it in the house as the pets were afraid of it, and it cut off my circulation...

My induction into the "Fellowship of the Cane" has slowed me down. It has also made me conscious of the pity and self consciousness that people feel around the disabled. People have treated me like I am retarded, talked around me and shouted at me as though I were deaf. Even tonight at Catholic Church, people either pushed past me oblivious to my situation, or looked through me. My broken foot with the boot does not fit inside the pew well and I cant move it out of the way when the kneeler drops. I got "dropped on " a few weeks ago. I flipped it back up and the people were annoyed. I now sit on the aisle but get kicked as people walk down the aisle for the Eucharist.Trust me I dont stick out very far. They just dont look. Its been a real struggle even in a church full of old disabled people. I think they see a younger person and cant see the issue...I struggle to get into places where I can sit and prop it up. I have looked with loathing as cars with no handicap placard park in the special spaces, leaving me to struggle to park and walk extra steps in pain.

The worst was when the special motorized shopping cart just stopped dead, fully loaded with my grocery shopping and me, in the middle of the local Walmart. I hobbled up a stock clerk who was just mortified and got me a cart and helped me get to the check out all the while saying.."Gee what if you couldn't have gotten up to get me?" Indeed....

I also understood the harrowing difficulties disabled folks have at my work. "thisplace" is great about hiring a wide range of people...young, old, black, white, Muslim,(in the Bible Belt)Christian. From no experience but smart and want to learn, to all the experience and wants to be a worker bee..ect...and disabled people. A man in a wheel chair, a lady who struggles with Dwarfism, and several others who are defiantly challenged. But the man with the broken ankle in the chair quit after two weeks on crutches as he couldnt manage the slippery marble floors. The Tiny lady has a step stool in the downstairs ladies room that repeatedly gets "borrowed" even with a sign glued to it saying "do not remove from this area"...she needs it to use the sink. To the man in the wheel chair...he struggled with the parking lot, the security doors and the bathrooms that are truly not in compliance but try to be...He had many issues but he quit the needed job after he couldnt manage the security doors (he dropped his swiper card couldn't get it and basically got stuck out in a deluging rain and was soaked to the skin and had to sit in that all day) He had a fight with his probation officer (another story) about quitting and later, in a grossly depressed state, blew his brains out...)People are still trying to get over that.

I stayed home as long as I could, and certainly have it better than those folks. From 100 percent paid leave to people on my team doing everything they can to help me. My work is not as stressful as the day shift and I dont have to walk fast. But I do have to walk, and can see the difficulties others have.

I have asked God to help me. I found myself saying that I dont think I could do this forever, and whining about my little issues. I have learned what a wimp I am in general and as this episode winds down and my mobility is returning, I want to focus on the good things and bless God for everything that comes my way. Perhaps that is the lesson that I need to grab ahold of from this period in my life... That the Fellowship of the Cane is all around me. I need to be more aware of the difficulties others have and not be guilty of the insensitivity that others have shown to me. And I need to not be so afraid of the future.

October 21, 2007

John 7:28-53~ Jesus, The Living Water

The Basin Spring, Eureka Springs AR



While Jesus was teaching in the Temple, he called out, "Yes, you know me, and you know where I come from. But I represent one you don't know, and he is true. I know him because I have come from him, and he sent me to you." Then the leaders tried to arrest him; but no one laid a hand on him, because his time had not yet come.
Many among the crowds at the Temple believed in him. "After all," they said, "would you expect the Messiah to do more miraculous signs than this man has done?"
When the Pharisees heard that the crowds were murmuring such things, they and the leading priests sent Temple guards to arrest Jesus. But Jesus told them, "I will be here a little longer. Then I will return to the one who sent me. You will search for me but not find me. And you won't be able to come where I am."
The Jewish leaders were puzzled by this statement. "Where is he planning to go?" they asked. "Maybe he is thinking of leaving the country and going to the Jews in other lands, or maybe even to the Gentiles! What does he mean when he says, `You will search for me but not find me,' and `You won't be able to come where I am'?"


Jesus Promises Living Water

On the last day, the climax of the festival, Jesus stood and shouted to the crowds, "If you are thirsty, come to me! If you believe in me, come and drink! For the Scriptures declare that rivers of living water will flow out from within." (When he said "living water," he was speaking of the Spirit, who would be given to everyone believing in him. But the Spirit had not yet been given, because Jesus had not yet entered into his glory.)


Division and Unbelief

When the crowds heard him say this, some of them declared, "This man surely is the Prophet." Others said, "He is the Messiah." Still others said, "But he can't be! Will the Messiah come from Galilee? For the Scriptures clearly state that the Messiah will be born of the royal line of David, in Bethlehem, the village where King David was born." So the crowd was divided in their opinion about him. And some wanted him arrested, but no one touched him.

The Temple guards who had been sent to arrest him returned to the leading priests and Pharisees. "Why didn't you bring him in?" they demanded.
"We have never heard anyone talk like this!" the guards responded.
"Have you been led astray, too?" the Pharisees mocked. "Is there a single one of us rulers or Pharisees who believes in him? These ignorant crowds do, but what do they know about it? A curse on them anyway!"
Nicodemus, the leader who had met with Jesus earlier, then spoke up. "Is it legal to convict a man before he is given a hearing?" he asked.
They replied, "Are you from Galilee, too? Search the Scriptures and see for yourself-no prophet ever comes from Galilee!"

Then the meeting broke up and everybody went home.

Labels: Scenic Arkansas, scripture

October 15, 2007

The Great Decision

The historic Pearl street, once home to the finest shopping in the lower Ohio Valley when this town was founded in 1813. There is stil plenty of charm as the area is revitalizing. New Albany Indiana

post started 10-11-07

Im home in Bella Vista, with my puppy playing at my feet, and the cats enjoying freedom after 7 days at the cat hotel. Annabelle stayed at the vet's, who told me that the girls had her out much of the time during office hours... shes gained some weight and has refined her bathroom manners to the point that she doesnt wait around too long once we go outside. This will be good as the nights are getting colder. I will be putting a blankie on the bed tonight! She has grown and matured a lot in a week. Everyone adored her, and loved her happy personality.

Annabelle has been more affectionate twords me I think because I rescued her this morning. Im sure that she thought herself abandoned...

This connection is going to be more important for us. I came to a decision on Sunday. Everything has fallen into place. I found a place to live in a beautiful golf course developement in the Springhurst area of Louisville. A fully furnished and equiped two bedroom deluxe apartment will be ready for me on April 1, 2008. Annabelle is invited to join me. In fact if Woody really wanted to come he could bring the cats too, but that isnt wise and we both know it. He would want to play the tourist, and I am spending BIG bucks on this...(the apartment alone is a fortune, but everything is included. I need to bring my clothes, computer, and Annabelle's things, thats it...$1700.00 a month.)I need to focus on learning all that I can, and resting when I can...In short looking out for myself only. That will be enough for me to handle.

The Conner Jewelry School, New Albany Indiana

I gave Charlie Conner a depost on a place in his school starting April 6, 2008. I plan to work until Easter week, where I will take a personal retreat prior to my confirmation into the Catholic Church on March 23. My only concern now is Woody being on his own for so long and the fact that the school currently allows smoking in the classroom, Charlie being a mini cigar smoker, he smokes in his office but the smell permiates the room. He says he's trying to quit again I hope and will pray that he does, his lungs sound terrible...Six months of this will be tough, at 35 plus hours a week, but this is for life... my life and you only have one shot at your dream usually...

Im getting a second chance... It thills me and frightens the daylights out of me. But I have learned from my mistakes, and I am vowing not to repeat the worst of them.

I have a second one and I am going for it

It is not going to be easy. The risk is huge. John and I are in a similar situation that we found ourselves in in Hawaii. He is not looking for work, or is very passive about it. He has spent his inheritance money that was for his retirement and I have to work a job that is ok now but will descend back into revolting obnoxiousness as accounts leave and I get bounced from desk to desk in the talent pool. I shall go mad...

I estimate that it will cost 55,000.00 to open the doors, including the school, I am going to try to save up enough while I am still working to cover my expenses while there. My little gig selling stuff at the flea market will perhaps help defray the costs of the space untill we get open. I will empty out the bit of money that I have saved in my 401k and apply to this project. I have cashed out of the stock market it wont be long till it crashes anyway and my savings will be useless anyway. I lost much of what I saved in the 2000 crash, not again...

If this flops, I can go back to transportation. But no one can take what I have learned from me. Its not going to flop, everyone reading this has a box of stuff that needs to be fixed or cared for. If I can keep the buildout nominal, get a proper accounting system going and keep the cash flow under control, we will be ok.

The Old Home Place of Col. Harlan Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame. His wife's recipie fried chicken is served as a part of a magnificent buffet in a resturant behind the house in Shelbyville KY

We spent a few hours playing tourist and had dinner at Mrs. Sanders. Really good. The area is lovely and I know that I am going to enjoy being there. I will miss my home and the cats...(oh the cats!!!! I dont know if I can stand it being away from them for so long.) But I have made the great decision, and my business is gestating. A year from now or so it will come to be...I cant wait.

Labels: Artisans Fine Jewelry Repair, Breaking News, Business start up, Conner School, IN, Louisville, New Albany, Woody, working

October 14, 2007

Psalm 96~ The Lord Reigns

Autumn Farm near Gateway Mo



Psalm 96

Worship in the Splendor of Holiness

Oh sing to the Lord a new song;
sing to the Lord, all the earth!
Sing to the Lord, bless his name;
tell of his salvation from day to day.
Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous works among all the peoples!
For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
he is to be feared above all gods.
For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols,
but the Lord made the heavens.
Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.

Ascribe to the Lord, O families of the peoples,
ascribe to the Lord glory and strength!
Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
bring an offering, and come into his courts!
Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness;
tremble before him, all the earth!

Say among the nations, “The Lord reigns!
Yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved;
he will judge the peoples with equity.”

Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice;
let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
let the field exult, and everything in it!
Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy
before the Lord, for he comes,
for he comes to judge the earth.
He will judge the world in righteousness,
and the peoples in his faithfulness.

Labels: Scenic Arkansas, scripture

October 11, 2007

Only For Today

Golden Leaves of Autumn... near Holiday Island AR

I read this in my devotional today and liked it so we that I thought that I would blog it up

Only for today...
I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of all of my life at once

Only for today...
I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice, I will be courteous in my behavior;I will not criticize anyone;I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone but myself.

Only for today...
I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy; not only in the otherworld but also in this one.

Only for today...
I will adapt to circumstances without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes

Only for today...
I will devote 10 minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.

Only for today...
I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it..

Only for today...
I will do at least one thing that I do not like to do; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.

Only for today...
I will make a plan for myself:I may not follow it to the letter but I will make it. I will be on guard against two evils;hastiness and indecision

Only for today...
I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world

Only for today...
I will have no fears. In particular I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for twelve hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all of my life...


Blessed Pope John XXIII

Labels: Bella Vista, Faith, Quotable Quotes, Scenic Arkansas

October 07, 2007

Matthew 17:14-20 Have Faith That Moves Mountains

Brilliant Fall foliage near Holiday Island Ar


Jesus Heals a Demon-Possessed Boy

And when they (Jesus, Peter, James and John) came to the crowd, a man came up to him and, kneeling before him,said, “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and he suffers terribly. For often he falls into the fire, and often into the water.And I brought him to your disciples, and they could not heal him.”And Jesus answered, “O faithless and twisted generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him here to me.”And Jesus rebuked him, and the demon came out of him, and the boy was healed instantly. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?”He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Labels: Scenic Arkansas, scripture

October 05, 2007

Following Bread Crumbs

The Clubertson Mansion, in Historic Downtown New Albany Indiana

There is that old story about
the children that scattered
breadcrumbs behind them
so they could find
their way back home
from adventures in
the dark and scary forest...

Of course
The forest creatures
came up from behind them
and ate the crumbs
So the children were lost
And a wicked witch ate them

When Gods children pray
then follow The Spirit
they leave a trail of
spiritual bread crumbs
Signs if the Spirit's Passing
that will lead you safely home...

"Pray Pray Pray!, then Do Do Do!...Then look back a year or two from now, then you can see for certain that you are truly in the Will of the Father... and if not, you will still have accomplished more than if you sat on your hands and did nothing..." Mother Angelica, on the establishment of EWTN as told to Raymond Arroyo

Post Started 10-5-2007 in New Albany, Indiana


We are following bread crumbs so to speak, left for us by, we believe, the Holy Spirit in the wake of a breakthrough of sorts that is going on. Things seem to be moving rather rapidly in a new direction. Like riding a rollercoaster a bit faster than you'd like, my tummy lurches yet it is exciting and fun too as we go along on this new adventure.

The trail started when I broke my foot 9-9. I have had a lot of time to sit and ponder about my life. Woody is not working again, his and my decision as we know that the carlot thing needed to just stop. Its not a real job, and certainly not a job for a gentleman, which he is. So he cant sell cars to people that are so upside down financially that this car they want will ruin them. We bought the Accord from his former desk mate who flat out said that Woody was the best guy he'd ever seen with a customer, when he had a customer, which wasnt often as he wouldnt go out and get the "ups" needed to get a sale or two. He is unmotivated and not aggressive enough to compete. He needs a situation that will allow him be a caring sales person that people trust, that is his strength.

Then there is my job. My boss says that the account and my position will be around untill at least march...but then who knows. No layoffs are promised but I will likely have to go back on days again which is a bit of an issue for me. I find myself resenting and yet thanking God for my job...I keep wondering if I shouldnt strike out on my own...

I have been looking at Jewelry Repair Schools on the Internet. I found Druhards, the school that we went to in 2004 through the National Jeweler publication that I no longer receive... I would go back to Tim Druhard, he is a great guy, but his method of teaching doesnt allow for a period of practice of what you are learning. He pushes you out of the nest in two weeks with a tool list...that is fine for some, but I need more help

I went out on the Internet and found a number of schools, but some were diploma mills, out for the kids SallieMae money and you'd no more know how to set up a bench than fly to the moon once you paid your money. I only spoke to one instructor that seemed to know what hes doing. His name is Charles Conner, Charlie to his friends. He is known in his community and I have yet to turn up someone that didnt like him or his work...All of the students that I found via Google loved him and said that the time spent was well worth the effort and expense.

Expense...ugh...that is the kicker. I have no money and SallieMae will not loan me enough to subsidise my time here... So I figured Id stay on at thisplace as long as I could and save up the needed funds. I also looked at space to rent. With the coming of Annabelle, we use the area I was going to use for my bench more like living room space. And we know that it is better to have your work out of your home. But the spaces around our little city are costly for what they are.. But I want to stay in town as there is no jeweler here and Id be the closest person that the Senior residents would have to take their pieces.

We have had a lot of conformation that we should do this. Woody met a retired South African diamond cutter a few weeks ago who shook my hand vigorously when we met and declared that I would be highly successful if I worked in town. He even had a box of stuff that needed fixing...And we have run into at least a dozen people with jewelry problems... "Please, cant you fix...size...mend this for me?" I know that it would mean a lot for these people to have their jewelry wearable again...
I know I would love to fix it for them..and make it right again...

But where? I was driving home from an appointment and saw a tiny "for lease" sign in front of a small red brick building. The manager quickly came down to show it to me. It is a duplex and one half of it is 500 square feet, The perfect size. Most commercial spaces are too large for my needs and too costly. They offered me a very simple month to month with a small deposit, and agreed that I could have a month to explore the possibilities of getting into a school and getting the financing to pursue my dream. This space is the closest space to my house, not even a mile. I could walk to work if I chose to.

A few days later came the chance to buy the car. We realized that this was the optimum time due to lower int rest rates to expand the HELOC on the house and forgo a Salliemae student loan, so we were able to do that.

But did I want to spent the nearly 12,000.00 on six months of training? Where would I live? A look at Craigs list showed me a bunch of furnished places in the Louisville Ky area. But photos are deceiving you need to see the situations.

We had a new car. We had money. We both have time. We had a place to stash the cats, and Annabelle's vet, concerned that she may be ready for her first heat...there are some concerns about her birth date. She seems younger and older than she should be...so just as well Dr. Eric is watching her...anyway he agreed to board her.

So we took off on a driving trip and here we are, in this quaint little city on the Ohio River. Trees are turning and its very interesting.

We had a uneventful drive out. It is nearly 600 miles so it was a long day, but we have used the time well. I met with Charlie Conner, and while I have a few reservations, I have no doubt that I can learn a lot under his tutelage. I believe that he can get me ready to work on my own. He also agreed to help me with tool selections and set up of my shop. I can do the build out either before I come back here or Woody can supervise it while I am gone. Its a lot of money but if I can lean a trade that is in demand and work for the rest of my life at something that I love.. its worth it... (funny teens spend thousands of dollars for college without a thought...saddled with loans for the rest of their lives...I cant do it!)

Woody and I have looked at interim housing for myself. Most rentals in New Albany are not fit for a decent person to live in. So I need to look in Lousiville tomorrow. I was offered a charming artists apartment in a restored 1912 building for 1500.00 a month suitcase ready. But its in the city and when I saw it yesterday, I felt fearful and uncomfortable. Woody had thought to join me bringing the pets and that makes interim corporate housing the only alternative. Now he is thinking that I may only be here three months instead of 6-9 so he would stay in Arkansas with the babies or perhaps I would bring Annabelle with me, as I could have her in the corporate apartments. We shall see... the bread crumbs are a tad thin on this part

There are still many many questions. I will have at least 5 months to pray them through. But I feel a sea change. Once you start down the Entrepreneurial path you are drawn inexorably to its fruition

Labels: Bella Vista, Breaking News, Business start up, Dreams, Little Portion, Traveling, Woody, working