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My Wide Blue Seas

Its All About The Journey


Name~ Hokule'a Kealoha

Short Bio~Hokule'a Kealoha is the Nom De Plume of a writer that formerly lived in Hawaii and is now living a life of adventure on the highways and byways of the American South . I am a Born Again follower of Jesus, as well as a wife, mother of cats and dogs,jeweler, entreprenuer, photographer and pilgrim...

Age~ Old enough to know better

Status~ Newly Single after 13 years of marriage,fur mom to the loving and devoted mini ShihTzu doggie Annabelle, born 6-11-2007 RIP 2-25-09, and the beautiful Abigail born 2-14-09

Hair Color~ natural brown/grey

Mood~ I ALWAYS have a mood, try me...

Loving~ Jesus, Hawaii, my furry friend, Abigail, my Pen Pals, Jewelry ,Blogging ,Writing anything,my Ipod,and being outdoors surrounded by my wonderful natural surroundings

Hating~ Boom Box Cars, Earspray, Abuse of Power,

  • Bible

  • Magnificat

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  • Underwired! Louisville's magazine for Women

  • In Store~The Magazine for the American Jeweler

  • Books in Progress...

  • "Link"

  • "Link"

  • Just Finished Reading

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  • Jesus, Divine Mercy ~
    Learn About The Divine Mercy
    I Trust In You~

    My Favorite Past Posts~Relive The Journey!~
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  • 2008~
  • Be Thankful

  • Colateral Damage

  • Make Lemonade

  • Home Is Where The Heart Is

  • The Poor With Us

  • Because Its The Hardest Thing I Can Do

  • We Have All Become Victims

  • Lest I Forget

  • The Most Important Words

  • Family Values

  • Familiar Places

  • May Perpetual Light Shine On Them

  • A City In Motion

  • 2007~
  • The Quiet Storm

  • Fellowship of the Cane

  • Like Dead Unremembered: A 9-11 Tribute

  • The Medicine Machine

  • One Giant Leap

  • In The Steps of St. Francis

  • Too Much Information

  • The Un Choice

  • 2006~
  • The Holly and the Ivy

  • The First 9-11, Dec 7,1941

  • Small Moments of Silence

  • Peaches to Winnipeg

  • Dreaming of Hawaii

  • Memorial Day

  • Scattered Values

  • The White Line is the Lifeline for the Nation

  • Warnings of a New Civil War

  • I Will Be True To The Promise I Have Made

  • The Snowy Bloody Day

  • Cats in the Cradle

  • 2005~
  • The Journey

  • Rebirth of a City

  • For Posterity's Sake

  • The New Civil War

  • Every Mother's Son

  • And There You Stayed, Temporarily Lost at Sea

  • The Lone Rider

  • The Bible Is Not the Fourth Member of the Trinity

  • Rome Wasn't Built With Union Labor

  • Happy Birthday Mom ~revised~

  • A Beautiful Noise

  • Even Now

  • The Wearing of the Red

  • Night Ranger

  • The Joyful Traveler

  • Hoiliili "To Gather Up"

  • Ke Makakilo (My Observations)

  • He Giveth Sleep

  • Save The Children

  • 2004~
  • Lux Aeterna

  • December 2004

  • You're Joking, Right?

  • Ground Zero

  • I Am Not A Failure

  • O,To Grace, How Great A Debtor

  • Lost In Translation

  • One Small Step for Man

  • The Rainbow's End

  • Profanity

  • Taps

  • The Journey

  • Makoa's Song

  • No Aloha For The Weakest

  • The Paradoxical Comandments

  • The Time Is Now

  • 2003~
  • When No Fruit Is On The Vine

  • Photobucket
    St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
    St. Edith Stein~Pray for Us

    Religion Link List~

  • My Secret is Mine

  • Ignatius Insight-Online Magazine

  • Fr John Corapi SOLT

  • Dr. Scott Hahn St Paul Center

  • Fr. Mitch Pacwa~ Ignatius Productions

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  • Political Link List~
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  • Arkansas Link List~
  • Little Portion Hermitage

  • John Michael Talbot website

  • John Michael Talbot Myspace page

  • 1st United Methodist Church Bella Vista

  • Northwest Arkansas Guide

  • Mimi's Cafe

  • Metro Woman Business Directory of NW Arkansas

  • River Grille

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  • Interactive Links~

    Live WebCam Feed from the Mauna Lani Resort, Kohalla, Big Island of Hawaii

    Click here for Aloha Joe!Live Hawaiian Music 24/7

    St Damein of Molokai'i,Patron Saint of Hawaii, Pray for us

    St. Damien of Molokai'i, Patron of Hawaii and the Outcasts among us, pray for us....

    Hawaii Links~ ~
  • For more Hawaii links Click Here

  • Volcano Updates (Pele's Mood Meter)Hawaii Volcano Observatory

  • Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

  • Volcano Watch Archives

  • Mauna Kea Observatory

  • Pacific Tsunami Museum

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  • Technorotica for Blogging~

    Blogarama - The Blog Directory

    Listed on BlogShares

    Christianity Blog Directory

  • Who Links Here...Click here to see who's linking to this site. Powered by WhoLinksToMe.com

  • Globe of Blogs~Blog search engine

  • The Blog Search Engine

  • stock xchng

  • Photobucket

  • BlogSkins

  • Link

  • Wikipedia

  • Nuzio's Place on the Web

  • Commutefaster.com

  • PING ME!

  • MWBS Wordpress Edition

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  • Technorotica for Jewelers, and the Jewelry Trade~

  • Gemological Institute of America

  • The Drouhard National Jewelers School

  • The Conner School

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  • June 29, 2008

    Matthew 7~ Everyday Wisdom From Jesus

    Enter by the Narrow Gate...Pasture Gate Shaker Village at Pleasant Hill Kentucky

    Judging Others
    “Judge not, that you be not judged.For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

    “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.

    Ask, and It Will Be Given
    “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?

    Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

    The Golden Rule
    “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

    Take the Righteous Route

    “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy hat leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

    A Tree and Its Fruit
    “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit.A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit.Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.
    I Never Knew You
    21“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

    Build Your House on the Rock
    “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

    The Authority of Jesus
    And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching,for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes.

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    June 28, 2008

    Spending to Get

    The view from my windows in my bedroom in my apartment, over looking the first green and fairway at the Legends of Indian Springs Golf course Louisville KY

    I have had a very nice weekend having spent much of it sitting before these windows watching the world go by... by that I mean the steady groups of golfers and the steady march of rainclouds as the thunderstorms sweep by in an endless panorama of sight and color. It has cooled down quite a bit and I have my little window open to gather fresh air. Annabelle is asleep on my bed just next to me. She had a busy weekend of grooming and training appointments and is happy to lay and watch the golfers go by

    Its been a week of heavy thought. I spent a lot of time journaling about how Woody and I came to the place that we find ourselves in. I wanted the story recorded... The whole story. And how all of this has made me feel.

    Being here has given me the freedom to just feel. I dont have to do anything, be anything other than myself, so this was the ideal time to do this. I must say that all of this emoting has not made me feel better. I have felt very depressed this week...grief? maybe...

    My lanai It has the same view but a different perspective. The railing is covered with bird netting to prevent Annabelle from taking a flying leap off the the second floor balcony. Its so discreet you cant even see it. I love sitting out here in the breeze. Look who is sharing the sunshine but the little princess who has her own special chair so she can watch the silly humans chasing the little white ball all over the place!

    I think a lot of it is disappointment. Things haven't worked out at the school the way I hoped. Charlie has basically said "Review everything" and retreated into his office this past week. He nitpicked what I brought him in review, and was cross about how I managed to do said review. I think its strange that the teacher gives an instruction like that but expects you to read hs mind about how it should be accomplished. I see Maureen doing "review" of things we havent gotten to that she got to before I got there...not because there is something wrong with me but because Charlie in three months has failed to complete the one month program he promised to teach me. He has spent way too much time hibernating in his office. So I took the initiative and did a few projects on my own. When Charlie said that he hadnt seen much review I took everything I had done and he said that while it was good it wasnt review he asked for whatever that was supposed to be and how come I was getting ahead of him?... I am sort of unwilling to stay in week one the whole three months. For the first time...this week I found myself resenting the money that I have spent and the risk I have taken that ultimately have led me to be taken advantage of. Charlie has issues and I dont think he understands just how serious this is. I gave up a job, a life...yes willingly and gladly but not to sit and just fritter away literally 120.00 a day that I will owe up in the future against my house

    My first bezel set ring. I did this one rather well...maybe because the stone was not a practice CZ, but one of Charlie's customers 1 carat diamonds...

    Needless to say I didnt get to keep this practice ring. He gave me the wrong stone...because he wasnt attentive. Later he blamed me for this. This atmosphere of suspicion and distrust...even downright paranoia is due to a series of horrible events that have happened in the last month. Charlie's home was robbed, his step daughter was pistol whipped and terrorized. Then an attempt was made to rob the school overnight...and finally the son of a jeweler friend, a frequent visitor and graduate of the school is currently the principal suspect in the theft of a valuable diamond from the man's father's store safe... The environment is hostile and weird day in and out

    My masterwork, this crucifix is actually mounting for a special artifact. A handmade nail I found in the street in the 900 block of east Broadway in downtown Louisville, while sightseeing with Woody. A professional blacksmith dated the nail to 1780 to 1830 and said that likely it was made by a slave boy, an apprentice to a blacksmith. If the child showed potential he was spared the lifetime of backbreaking field work that most black slaves faced. On top of that a trade like smithing would give a slave a trade that would help him stay free if he braved escape by swimming across the mighty Ohio river to New Albany Indiana and catching the Underground Railroad to a point further north

    The cross is a lost wax centrifugal casting in sterling silver. Three dimensional in nature, the wax model was designed around the historic nail in such a way that the nail is heal securely yet can be removed so the silver can be cleaned. The iron nail cannot come in contact with my skin without causing more deterioration so that situation had to be taken into account in the design... By the way I figured it out mostly on my own, and Charlie's son Bryan, a master jeweler himself helped me with the casting and gave me tips. Charlie said he liked it and thought that I did a good job, but he bragged on it as customers saw it on my bench as I worked on it. I knew in my heart that I did good on this one

    But does that mean that I can hold my own as a jeweler? Several weeks ago,as I was finishing this up, I spent a saturday afternoon roaming craft and lapadary shops looking for findings ect. Once of the first places that I stopped was a place called "friends" on funky Frankfort Ave. The lady in charge and her Jeweler Jerry looked at the cross and my other work and felt that I could do the repair work that is pouring in there and would I like a job? I would sit on the store and do repairs for a percentage of the job price. Jerry said he'd fill in any gaps on my education and not charge me 120.00 a day. He is a master engraver and was teaching at the Conner School for a while and knew Charlie really well. Said he would be glad to help me and let me have some of the work. Im not into this as a money maker, but I would be ahead if I didnt have to pay the school and extra 3500.00 for the next three months that would be a big help and if I could pay part of my way out of earnings will praise the Lord for that. I still have a couple of weeks paid for at the school so I will try to get as much as I can out of that before telling Charlie that our time is going to be a touch truncated. With the state of Indiana offering Charlie disability for his damaged hands and nerves he should take the money and run.

    I feel like his heart is no longer into this, teaching that is. I also think that he is intimidated by me and that makes things strained. I have not gotten over the feeling of contempt that he seems to have for me

    I knew what I was getting into when I signed up. I was willing to "spend to get" to receive all of the emenities of this place. It has been worth it. I am willing to spend to get to have the personal and financial freedom I will soon have

    PS.7-1-2008 Charlie came to me and asked me about my plans and if I was going to finish out the six month course. It was the opening that I had been waiting and felt that I should work in a real shop rather than sit in his school for another three months. He said that I do learn slower than the other students but once I get the concept I do nice work. He was thrilled at the opportunity that I have to work for a real jeweler. He felt that this was a better way to go and that he was going to miss me. My time will end about the same time that Maureen will be leaving so I think the timing is great. I'm thinking about leaving July 16 and perhaps getting another part time job to fill out my wallet and try some tricks I haave learned. Tha will be grand.

    Fellow Student Maureen and shop kitty Fluffy at the Conner School New Albany IN

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    June 22, 2008

    Matthew 6:24-34~ Trust God To Provide

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    Stillness at the Water's Edge... Panama City Beach FL

    Matthew 6:24-34

    No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

    “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

    “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

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    June 18, 2008

    Lest I Forget

    the original dream, Azure Seas Jewelry 114 Haili st. Hilo Big Island of Hawaii

    I dont want to forget life lived in a different world, that ran on a different clock. The sense that you were living on the edge of the world 2750 miles from anywhere, at the center of creation where Kilauea's lava was in constant motion creating new land at a record rate. I want to grab onto and hold onto the memory of dreaming a big dream and seeing it flow into a reality, only to be challenged by that reality to cling to the Unseen Reality of a God bigger than any problem I faced, that would come to my aid when it was His time and in His way... not mine... I dont want that to fade away into the bottom drawer of my memory...

    But daily more and more things press into me and its hard to remember the truth of Hawaii. That its beauty is more than skin deep. Most people just take the skin, but I have seen to the bone into the heart and soul of a place people just dream of and never see.It is a part of my very being now, I will never look at life quite the same way again after living on an island full of unique places and people... I want to carry that with me, that while "Aloha" has come to be a casual greeting, it really means "to be blessed with the breath of God" to be loved by That which is greater than anyone or anything that comes against me.


    Two blocks from the bayfront, and housed in what had been the local whorehouse, the Cunningham Hotel, 180 square feet of space, in a bad economy two blocks from the action, God made my dream a reality, and no it wasnt easy

    I wrote the post "Fading Reality"two and a half years ago, as I was realizing that I was losing touch with one of the things that made the Hawaii Experience so unique and powerful, my unshakable belief that where God guides He provides and if I cling to Him he will make a way for me in every situation. As I sit here tonight watching a thunderstorm break over the Ohio valley I realize that I have started to touch again this truth...It comes in the quiet... around the edges of your mind and sinks slowly in and forms and you go "Ah Yes,...I see it now..."


    Woody at the computer, minding the store

    There are a lot of things that make it hard to hear that voice and to see that unseen reality. I think the worst thing is my anger and bitterness at Woody. I have to admit that being here and having the peace of not seeing him, his destructive behavior, his choosing to ignore the future by making foolish choices in the present... His lack of acceptance of the reality of relationship... which translates into no warmth no affection no acceptance responsibility to the relationship, and I mean by that, he doesnt seem to feel accountable to me for anything just made me feel like I was invisible. The working at Transplace. I loved many of the people that I worked with but the work was so unsatisfying and I would come home in the dark to a house full of indifferent creatures, even Annabelle would rather be in Woody's arms than mine... (even now...little traitor)... On the weekends If Woody left the room so did both cats and the dog and If I would follow them they would all go someplace else. I would sit in front of the TV and cry. I expected the respect that the breadwinner shoud get but what I got was a cold sholder, and my requests were ignored. Woody had the new car to drive,the run of the house with little responsibility and the love and affection of our "children". Coming home night after night last winter to a cluttered, dirty, cold house and empty bed at 2 am depressed me to the limits... Even now nothing has been done in the house since I left. I shudder at the possible condition of the place. With windows so dirty you cant see out and a two inch layer of cat hair on the floor... that was how I left it, day after day... and when I left for Louisville

    I did little to stem the tide of neglect. I had little time for anything other than work and Annabelle, and yes that was my choice Yes, it was my choice to let go of everything and not care for myself...I gained all of the weight I lost back and more I think, I could never bear to look at the scale.I would find myself looking in the mirror and seeing "failure" rather than a strong person that can do what needs to be done. I was seething all of the time, angry that if we were dividing the costs why were we not dividing the responsibilities? "And if you are a stay at home house boy cant you lift a finger and do something"...I would say that everynight when I came in the door and go to bed angry longing for someone to understand

    God did, but I couldnt hear Him over the sound of my own rage.

    the line...my cases set up . I had a lot of vendors that trusted and believed in my dream.

    Not anymore. I am here in Louisville of my own choosing, and making a life. My apartment is clean and my doggy loves me and I dont feel ignored, because I have chosen to be alone. There is quite a difference. I left the scale back in Arkansas, but I have ordered clothing this week and bought some two sizes smaller. My face is unlined and my frown muscles dont hurt me from overuse.Yes I have issues with the school...it hasnt worked as well as I had hoped, but a new door may be opening and I will try and walk through it and wee what it means. I am also thinking about getting a job here and staying for a bit. I might have to move into a cheaper apartment and buy some funiture but that is ok. Everything is up for grabs and I feel that by being alone, I am back to that place where I can hear God again

    As for the business...having issues with the contractor who seems to be unable to paint the walls let alone be trusted with the rest so we shall see. I have decided that I may buy equipment and work in a empty room on folding tables at first... Again I dont want to get ahead of God. I am open to however this works out

    Like Hawaii so many things have to come together. The goal that I have and am working twords may not be what God is trying to do in my life... I just need to try to relax and remember. God has brought me safe thus far and His Grace will bring me home...in His time...

    the back office

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    June 15, 2008

    Psalm 52~God Prospers The Upright in Heart

    Shaker Still Life... Frozen in time, the simple order and completeness still speaks even though the last of these people have been gone for a long time. Shaker Village at Pleasant Hill, Kentucky

    Why do you boast of evil, O mighty man?
    The steadfast love of God endures all the day.
    Your tongue plots destruction,
    like a sharp razor, you worker of deceit.
    You love evil more than good,
    and lying more than speaking what is right. Selah
    You love all words that devour,
    O deceitful tongue.

    But God will break you down forever;
    he will snatch and tear you from your tent;
    he will uproot you from the land of the living. Selah
    The righteous shall see and fear,
    and shall laugh at him, saying,
    “See the man who would not make
    God his refuge,
    but trusted in the abundance of his riches
    and sought refuge in his own destruction!” [fn2]

    But I am like a green olive tree
    in the house of God.
    I trust in the steadfast love of God
    forever and ever.
    I will thank you forever,
    because you have done it.
    I will wait for your name, for it is good,
    in the presence of the godly.

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    June 13, 2008

    The Question of Marriage

    River Dawn, The Mississippi at Vadalia MS
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    Please describe your relationship with your Mother?

    Please describe your relationship with your father?

    What was it like to actually grow up in your family,in relation to the following....
    ...do you think your experience was different than the other children?

    Where did the respondent live growing up?

    Can you tell us about the relationship between the respondents parents, friends..

    Please tell us about any abuse physical or sexual that you suffered while growing up...that the respondant suffered...

    Question 34. pushed a button...If you or the respondant were engaged married or involved in any serious relationship before meeting the plaintif/respondent, please decribe this relationship and why it ended?

    at the end what do you think you learned from answering this 20 page questionaire?

    Many people have asked me about my journey towards the Catholic Church and where that stands now. Back in February I posted this peice regarding the... really a train wreck for me with reagrds to my spiritual life. I had a lot going on at that time so I wasnt able to write as much as I would have liked to.

    While in Californina and afterwards I gave this whole situation a lot of thought and prayer. The church has assigned both Woody and I an "Advocate" a "legal assistant" in Cannon or Church law. Both Woody and I will need annulments of our first marriages in order to free us for a church blessing of our marriage if we want and to free me to receive the Sacrament freely.

    The Sacramental life is the main drive for my quest into the Church. If not for the sacraments, I doubt that I would go through this. I have come to believe that while other forms of the Christian faith provide a shadow of the substance of the Sacraments, only those in conformation to the Church Apostolic can truly be instruments of sacramental grace. Now that closes the door and opens the door to a lot of things. I believe that politics alone separate Anglicanism and its daughter Methodism from the Church of Rome. The Magesterium teaches that I may not take Communion from my Methodist Pastor, however it is a fact that his ordination is tracable via the Church of England to Rome and that if one gets beyond politics (has anyone watched the Tudors on Showtime...?)that situation was what separated the two, the Church of England and The Church of Rome... The question of marriage and who is married to whom... In my heart I belive that it would be fine for me to receive in faith what this dear friend offers me once a month as a symbol of love and community without incurring eternal damnation.

    My former Catechist was concerned that I was confused between Catholic trasubstantiation of the communion elements and Methodism "Real Presence by act of Faith" as laid out in this document I am not confused at all, but rather a good Protestant reared in the Lutherian twist of Augustine's "I belive, therefor I know.." rather " I know what I have believed..." Lots of lively discussion on this one. I refrained from taking communion out of obedience to the will of my Chtechist and his wife my Sponsor. As it turned out, obdience was a difficulty for them too, and they left the parish. I fully understand their position and love them just the same and miss out intense discussions...

    But other obedience was to be required of me, and Woody as well. As the fallout swirlled about when Ed and Jennifer left, the powers that be decreede that Cannon law states that not only do I have to have an anullment from the Engineer, but Woody too must have his pervious marriage annulled or I cannot be received into the church. This is something that he has to do on his own without any coersion on my part. He seems willing to do this but so far has not followed up on any part of his research to find his ex wife or information on her two previous marriages prior to marrying him. Its a mess...so as long as this situation persists I cannot follow the faith of my choice. Its absurd. I cannot control him, so why am I stuck in this I am waiting for my cannon lawyer to let me know how things are doing

    I am willing to wait, but not forever. Once I return to Arkansas I will pursue whatever remedies I can to clear the way for my entrance into the Church in 2009. It will be interesting to see how things come about. I am not going to allow my flawed current marriage to keep me form the the Marriage in the World to come. Perhaps it is time settle that question as well

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    June 11, 2008

    Happy Birthday Annabelle!

    Annabelle at 7 weeks, birthday post

    She was born in a dirty barn, that reeked of pigs and unwashed dogs. One of three tiny pups born to a smaller than average momma Shih Tzu and a tiny father no bigger than a shoebox. How she ever became the little lady that she is Lord knows but she is all of that

    Annabelle at 6 months

    I was excited and full of anxieties and expectations. I had never owned a doggy before, my parents felt that they were too much trouble. I dont think she is half the trouble of our kitties as much as I love them, and she is so much more a friend. Had I had a dog as a child I think that I would be a different person. I know that Annabelle has made a huge difference in my life

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    Annabelle at 8 months

    Yes there have been misunderstandings, and she is way too into Woody for my comfort. I longed for a creature that would love me best and only me. A lot of expectations for a few pounds of hairy nonsense to measure up to, but she manages beautifully and is such a joy... I am more confident that I can have a new and better life, and a lot of this confidence comes from not being alone here in Louisville. When I am sick or upset she is the best friend in the world.

    So Happy Birthday Miss Annabelle, May all of your Doggy dreams come true...Her Present? 8 weeks of doggy classes at Petsmart. She loves going to school, and Mom is learning all kinds of things to make life easier for both of us

    my little angel one year old today


    June 08, 2008

    Jeremiah 17:5-10,12-13 ~ Blessed is the Man Who Trusts in The Lord

    Spring Pasture near Lebanon KY

    Thus says the Lord:
    “Cursed is the man who trusts in man
    and makes flesh his strength,
    whose heart turns away from the Lord.
    He is like a shrub in the desert,
    and shall not see any good come.
    He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
    in an uninhabited salt land.

    “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
    whose trust is the Lord.
    He is like a tree planted by water,
    that sends out its roots by the stream,
    and does not fear when heat comes,
    for its leaves remain green,
    and is not anxious in the year of drought,
    for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

    The heart is deceitful above all things,
    and desperately sick;
    who can understand it?
    “I the Lord search the heart
    and test the mind,
    to give every man according to his ways,
    according to the fruit of his deeds.”

    A glorious throne set on high from the beginning
    is the place of our sanctuary.
    O Lord, the hope of Israel,
    all who forsake you shall be put to shame;
    those who turn away from you shall be written in the earth,
    for they have forsaken the Lord, the fountain of living water.

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    June 07, 2008

    The Visit

    Prince of the Bluegrass, "Windy" out of Tara's Perfect Storm, who allowed me to pet her precious three week old charmer. Kentucky Horse Park, National Horseracing Museum Lexington KY

    Woody has been visiting her for the past 10 days and we have had a very good time. The "indesgresion" has not been discussed other than he said he was sorry for fooling me and not telling me about his trip to LA. I know that had the reverse been the case he'd have had a cow about it.

    We have played the tourist over most of this week. I have gotten to see places that would have been difficult for me to go to on my own. I am still limited on the amount of driving that I can do. I have fallen asleep in the car some but not as much as I was doing prior to comming here. I think it is due to weight loss. I dont know how much as I dont have a scale and really want to focus on bettter choices and a lifestyle change. I have been eating out a lot with Woody but really have made a effort to keep it low fat and only what I need and not to over eat.

    I will write more about the trip in the comming weeks . A week ago today we went to the Kentucky Horse Park and had a wonderful time there looking at the very nice museum and getting to meet and pet some of the wonders of the horse world, most importantly "Cigar" a great horse, and he was once a all time money winner. Woody was thrilled to see him. He is quite a racing fan

    As we have driving through the fields and forests of North Central Kentucky this week I have thought long about the past and the future. The past, in my girlhood this was a place I dreamt of coming to to see the horses and visit the farms where the throughbreds were born and raised. This time of year is a marvel as one can see the foals out with their dams and everything is a lovely green. Soon this will pass as we are already having 100 degree weather. With all of the getting in and out of air conditioning, I have come down with a summer cold. Its a pain nothing more at this time

    The future... I have livied alone for two months and even weathered a few storms of a personal nature here. Now having Woody here I see how really hard it is for us to live together. We are trying to figure out what will work best. As much as I would love to buy the tiny house on the next block and move into it. I dont think that is really the best idea. Times are going to get really hard and neither of us can afford to pay the upkeep of two homes. I am sick of the mess and the nonsense of our home. I will be eliminating a lot of stuff and be glad of it. Once I can arrange a small sitting room of my own I will be spending more time alone in my house. Woody is looking for a housekeeper, which I will gladly help pay for. The cats and the cat hair is a huge problem. We are looking at medications for the constant shedding and I know that I feel better here without having that to deal with... Please God, I love my kitties, but may not be able to live with them any more. We shall see how things go when I return. I would be willing to give up a lot to have the place cleaned up and more manageable.

    Still, the idea of not having to constantly nag Woody, to get so aggravated at him all of the time. To not having the feeling that I am stumbling over a giant rock in the middle of my life, and feeling ashamed, angry, and hurt at the rejection that he seems to be oblivious too. Going around and having fun is one thing but the tough stuff of life grinds us... grinds me...

    We ruled out a divorce, the mess that will create is worse than the constant fighting. Woody says he sees that I am much happier in my smaller space and single life. He was also humiliated at a resturant as he was refered to as my "father". I know that he looked bad to me, but others see this and it scares me. I feel like I am getting younger as time is going by and perhaps he sees it too.

    He says he is going to change but he doesnt know what to change or why the change is needed. He says he isnt sure where his life is going and why its important to know. He admitted that he wouldnt have ever attempted something like I am doing and that the moment that things got hard in his life he would give up. That is no way to live. It is little wonder that out relationship hasnt grown at all. Its a very painful deal all around

    Peace is returning and I feel good. Looking forward to the classes and getting closer to my goals. the other gal is ordering her final and wants to be out in by the end of July, I need to consider that date myself.

    Im glad that Woody came to visit, it showed me a truth about myself, and now if I can learn to be truthful to myself as well, it will all have been worthwhile

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    June 01, 2008

    Psalm 33-The Steadfast Love of God For Us

    Spring Skies over Blue Grass Near Holy Cross township KY

    The Steadfast Love of the Lord
    Shout for joy in the Lord, O you righteous!
    Praise befits the upright.
    Give thanks to the Lord with the lyre;
    make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!
    Sing to him a new song;
    play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.

    For the word of the Lord is upright,
    and all his work is done in faithfulness.
    He loves righteousness and justice;
    the earth is full of the steadfast love of the Lord.

    By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
    and by the breath of his mouth all their host.
    He gathers the waters of the sea as a heap;
    he puts the deeps in storehouses.

    Let all the earth fear the Lord;
    let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him!
    For he spoke, and it came to be;
    he commanded, and it stood firm.

    The Lord brings the counsel of the nations to nothing;
    he frustrates the plans of the peoples.
    The counsel of the Lord stands forever,
    the plans of his heart to all generations.
    Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,
    the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!

    The Lord looks down from heaven;
    he sees all the children of man;
    from where he sits enthroned he looks out
    on all the inhabitants of the earth,
    he who fashions the hearts of them all
    and observes all their deeds.
    The king is not saved by his great army;
    a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.
    The war horse is a false hope for salvation,
    and by its great might it cannot rescue.

    Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him,
    on those who hope in his steadfast love,
    that he may deliver their soul from death
    and keep them alive in famine.

    Our soul waits for the Lord;
    he is our help and our shield.
    For our heart is glad in him,
    because we trust in his holy name.
    Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us,
    even as we hope in you.

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