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My Wide Blue Seas

Its All About The Journey


Name~ Hokule'a Kealoha

Short Bio~Hokule'a Kealoha is the Nom De Plume of a writer that formerly lived in Hawaii and is now living a life of adventure on the highways and byways of the American South . I am a Born Again follower of Jesus, as well as a wife, mother of cats and dogs,jeweler, entreprenuer, photographer and pilgrim...

Age~ Old enough to know better

Status~ Newly Single after 13 years of marriage,fur mom to the loving and devoted mini ShihTzu doggie Annabelle, born 6-11-2007 RIP 2-25-09, and the beautiful Abigail born 2-14-09

Hair Color~ natural brown/grey

Mood~ I ALWAYS have a mood, try me...

Loving~ Jesus, Hawaii, my furry friend, Abigail, my Pen Pals, Jewelry ,Blogging ,Writing anything,my Ipod,and being outdoors surrounded by my wonderful natural surroundings

Hating~ Boom Box Cars, Earspray, Abuse of Power,

  • Bible

  • Magnificat

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  • Underwired! Louisville's magazine for Women

  • In Store~The Magazine for the American Jeweler

  • Books in Progress...

  • "Link"

  • "Link"

  • Just Finished Reading

  • "Link"

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  • Jesus, Divine Mercy ~
    Learn About The Divine Mercy
    I Trust In You~

    My Favorite Past Posts~Relive The Journey!~
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  • 2008~
  • Be Thankful

  • Colateral Damage

  • Make Lemonade

  • Home Is Where The Heart Is

  • The Poor With Us

  • Because Its The Hardest Thing I Can Do

  • We Have All Become Victims

  • Lest I Forget

  • The Most Important Words

  • Family Values

  • Familiar Places

  • May Perpetual Light Shine On Them

  • A City In Motion

  • 2007~
  • The Quiet Storm

  • Fellowship of the Cane

  • Like Dead Unremembered: A 9-11 Tribute

  • The Medicine Machine

  • One Giant Leap

  • In The Steps of St. Francis

  • Too Much Information

  • The Un Choice

  • 2006~
  • The Holly and the Ivy

  • The First 9-11, Dec 7,1941

  • Small Moments of Silence

  • Peaches to Winnipeg

  • Dreaming of Hawaii

  • Memorial Day

  • Scattered Values

  • The White Line is the Lifeline for the Nation

  • Warnings of a New Civil War

  • I Will Be True To The Promise I Have Made

  • The Snowy Bloody Day

  • Cats in the Cradle

  • 2005~
  • The Journey

  • Rebirth of a City

  • For Posterity's Sake

  • The New Civil War

  • Every Mother's Son

  • And There You Stayed, Temporarily Lost at Sea

  • The Lone Rider

  • The Bible Is Not the Fourth Member of the Trinity

  • Rome Wasn't Built With Union Labor

  • Happy Birthday Mom ~revised~

  • A Beautiful Noise

  • Even Now

  • The Wearing of the Red

  • Night Ranger

  • The Joyful Traveler

  • Hoiliili "To Gather Up"

  • Ke Makakilo (My Observations)

  • He Giveth Sleep

  • Save The Children

  • 2004~
  • Lux Aeterna

  • December 2004

  • You're Joking, Right?

  • Ground Zero

  • I Am Not A Failure

  • O,To Grace, How Great A Debtor

  • Lost In Translation

  • One Small Step for Man

  • The Rainbow's End

  • Profanity

  • Taps

  • The Journey

  • Makoa's Song

  • No Aloha For The Weakest

  • The Paradoxical Comandments

  • The Time Is Now

  • 2003~
  • When No Fruit Is On The Vine

  • Photobucket
    St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
    St. Edith Stein~Pray for Us

    Religion Link List~

  • My Secret is Mine

  • Ignatius Insight-Online Magazine

  • Fr John Corapi SOLT

  • Dr. Scott Hahn St Paul Center

  • Fr. Mitch Pacwa~ Ignatius Productions

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  • Political Link List~
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  • Arkansas Link List~
  • Little Portion Hermitage

  • John Michael Talbot website

  • John Michael Talbot Myspace page

  • 1st United Methodist Church Bella Vista

  • Northwest Arkansas Guide

  • Mimi's Cafe

  • Metro Woman Business Directory of NW Arkansas

  • River Grille

  • Link

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  • Interactive Links~

    Live WebCam Feed from the Mauna Lani Resort, Kohalla, Big Island of Hawaii

    Click here for Aloha Joe!Live Hawaiian Music 24/7

    St Damein of Molokai'i,Patron Saint of Hawaii, Pray for us

    St. Damien of Molokai'i, Patron of Hawaii and the Outcasts among us, pray for us....

    Hawaii Links~ ~
  • For more Hawaii links Click Here

  • Volcano Updates (Pele's Mood Meter)Hawaii Volcano Observatory

  • Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

  • Volcano Watch Archives

  • Mauna Kea Observatory

  • Pacific Tsunami Museum

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  • Technorotica for Blogging~

    Blogarama - The Blog Directory

    Listed on BlogShares

    Christianity Blog Directory

  • Who Links Here...Click here to see who's linking to this site. Powered by WhoLinksToMe.com

  • Globe of Blogs~Blog search engine

  • The Blog Search Engine

  • stock xchng

  • Photobucket

  • BlogSkins

  • Link

  • Wikipedia

  • Nuzio's Place on the Web

  • Commutefaster.com

  • PING ME!

  • MWBS Wordpress Edition

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  • Technorotica for Jewelers, and the Jewelry Trade~

  • Gemological Institute of America

  • The Drouhard National Jewelers School

  • The Conner School

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  • July 29, 2007

    Nahum 1- God Will Judge The Wicked

    Morning Thunderstorm Bella Vista Arkansas

    Nahum 1

    God's Wrath Against Nineveh

    The Lord is a jealous and avenging God;
    the Lord is avenging and wrathful;
    the Lord takes vengeance on his adversaries
    and keeps wrath for his enemies.
    The Lord is slow to anger and great in power,
    and the Lord will by no means clear the guilty.
    His way is in whirlwind and storm,
    and the clouds are the dust of his feet.
    He rebukes the sea and makes it dry;
    he dries up all the rivers;
    Bashan and Carmel wither;
    the bloom of Lebanon withers.
    The mountains quake before him;
    the hills melt;
    the earth heaves before him,
    the world and all who dwell in it.

    Who can stand before his indignation?
    Who can endure the heat of his anger?
    His wrath is poured out like fire,
    and the rocks are broken into pieces by him.
    The Lord is good,
    a stronghold in the day of trouble;
    he knows those who take refuge in him.
    But with an overflowing flood
    he will make a complete end of the adversaries,
    and will pursue his enemies into darkness.
    What do you plot against the Lord?
    He will make a complete end;
    trouble will not rise up a second time.
    For they are like entangled thorns,
    like drunkards as they drink;
    they are consumed like stubble fully dried.
    From you came one
    who plotted evil against the Lord,
    a worthless counselor.

    Thus says the Lord,
    "Though they are at full strength and many,
    they will be cut down and pass away.
    Though I have afflicted you,
    I will afflict you no more.
    And now I will break his yoke from off you
    and will burst your bonds apart."

    The Lord has given commandment about you:
    "No more shall your name be perpetuated;
    from the house of your gods I will cut off
    the carved image and the metal image.
    I will make your grave, for you are vile."

    Behold, upon the mountains, the feet of him
    who brings good news,
    who publishes peace!
    Keep your feasts, O Judah;
    fulfill your vows,
    for never again shall the worthless pass through you;
    he is utterly cut off.

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    July 25, 2007

    Our new baby, Annabelle at 7 weeks

    Well, Woody and I are trying something a lot of couples do when things get a bit rocky, we are having a baby. No, silly, a furry baby. We went out to Mc Curtain Oaklahoma to see a litter of small sized Shih Tzu puppies and fell in love with this charmer. She should be home with us some time in mid August.

    Good thing that Robert Rholm of "Personality Insights" has some words of wisdom for me. I am a first time dog owner and this whole adventure into being a doggy guardian will be humorous to a lot of you old hands. Woody constantly says "She's your dog I am only helping..." but everytime he spoke she'd stop and look at him... Id say it was love at first sight...and we shall see... but first lets see what the good doctor has to say...

    Tip: How to set "strict" training limits for your dog.

    Ordinarily my Tips have a more serious "flavor," but this one is on the lighter side.

    I don't know how many of you are dog lovers, but I certainly am! My daughter, Esther, and I co-own a five pound miniature Yorkie. Her name is Bebe and she is one of the loves of my life.

    There are so many things about Bebe that I admire. She is ALWAYS excited to see me, even if I only go out of the room for a couple of minutes. She is obedient, has a sweet spirit, exhibits a good attitude and, she is humble. When I call her, she comes. When I tell her to wait, she obeys. It is phenomenal.

    I have often asked God to help me be more like Bebe. If my actions towards Him are always like Bebe's are towards me, then everything will be alright!

    This past week, someone gave me a cute article that I wanted to share with you. Many of you have probably had a pet at sometime in your life and more than likely, it was a dog. Even if not, I believe you will be able to identify with the following progression of ownership.

    How to set "strict" training limits for your dog.

    The dog is not allowed in the house.

    Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.

    The dog is allowed in all rooms, but she has to stay off the furniture

    The dog can get on only the old furniture.

    Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but she is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.

    Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.

    The dog can sleep on the bed, whenever she wants, but not under the covers.

    The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.

    Fine, the dog can sleep under the covers every night.

    The humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

    P.S. My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $1.00 per can. That is almost $7.00 in dog money.

    Isn't that cute? And, I believe it is very true. Those of us who are pet owners have probably found ourselves becoming very relational with them over the years.

    Feel free to copy these 10 "strict" training limits and put them where you can read them often. I am sure your dog will appreciate it!

    Im sure they will

    Yes Annabelle will have to contend with... you know... the seinor members of the pet portion of our household, Makoa and KaNani, who have never had another animal in the house with them that they didnt hunt... So Miss Annabelle will be in her crate for a while, when we are not directly supervising her activities. We brought home a few towels that were in the kennel that smelled robustly of dog. The cats seem to like them and are laying on them constantly. It will be an explosive meeting and quite and ajustment. A few feline feelings will be bent out of shape for sure. But I think that in the end they will take to her...shes a love and a licker, which will take her a long way in Nani's eyes and Mak will perhaps have a playmate big enough to take the romping he likes, (she is estimated to grow to 8-10 inches at the sholder and weigh between 7-10 lbs, her father was a 6 lb Imperial (miniature)Shih Tzu) and we will all get along pretty well.

    Why get a dog? The lady accross the street got a Yorkie after her husband died and the companionship did her a world of good. I think a little unconditional love wouldnt hurt me either. As I sleep in my room alone, spend my day alone, walk alone and live my life alone, a little companion will be a good thing. I cant wait to bring her home. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time. I know that there are trials ahead but I know that there will be good things too for this little girl and me as well.

    Sleep with one eye open, cause you dont know when you'll need to see something....Annabelle nearly asleep afer a photo shoot

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    July 22, 2007

    John 14:1-14 ~~Jesus Is The Way

    Lake Ann Bella Vista AR

    I Am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life

    ...and Jesus said to His disciples...

    "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going." Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way? " Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.If you had known me, you would have known my Father also.From now on you do know him and have seen him."

    Philip said to him, "Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us."Jesus said to him, "Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own authority, but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, or else believe on account of the works themselves.

    "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it"

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    July 20, 2007

    One Giant Leap

    My Chinese Desk from the store. Now a showpiece in our home, it reminds me of our time in Hawaii and the hopes and dreams that one can not only have but realize if you grab ahold of the opportunities that come your way...

    It comes every year, this date that defined my Father and certainly defined our family. As I wrote last year in the post One Small Step For Man, this event, Man's landing on the moon was a moment that shaped my personal history enormously. It shaped every one of our lives to the point where I dont think there is a single thing, or situation that has not benefited from what we learned as a species from that venture. I am proud to have been connected to it.

    I have thought a lot about that recently. I realized at this time last year, as my Mother lay dying and I knew that my life was going to change and be redefined with her passing, that it is this drive that both she and my father had to pursue their dreams that has fueled the drive that I have within myself. And it goes further back than that, to their parents and theirs before them.

    I was accustomed to thinking of my mothers family in this light. I know that my mother's parents came from what is euphemistically called "Pioneer" Stock. My Maternal great grandparents sharecropped in West Texas. The land dried up and their older sons went out west to work. The elder landed in California, got work with the Union Pacific and settled permanently. The younger of these two, 15 or 16 years old as I understand,took his newly widowed mother and younger brothers and sister and went to Phoenix. I dont know the whole story maybe I will never know now, but he stayed, settled into a career turning a wrench, married well, had a family, owned a successful business and a home, became a lay preacher and respected member of the community. All of his children completed high school, a grand achievement for a man who had only had formal schooling to the third grade. His story is a picture of the American Ideal that if you work hard and grab onto opportunity when it comes you will make something of yourself.

    I have written quite a bit on my Mother,Her defining moment being those days of uncertainty "should I stay?... I love this place, but what will it be like when the war here is over... People are packing, and telling me to get out..." The soldiers from the Revolutionary Army coming onto her little farm in Mahagua, in central Cuba, telling them to not worry that they wanted the teachers to stay, but if they couldn't to tell them, and they would be escorted out. Which was the right option. So the next day they pulled out with an armed escort, Castro's forces blew up the roads and bridges so that there would be no turning back as he marched to Havana. She had the last seat on the last Pan Am Commercial American flight to leave Marti Airport. As she flew over the Caribbean for the short flight to Miami, she wept for the loss of the place and the work that so defined her as a person. I can relate to that...

    Pastel painting of the canal and forest behind the home my mother lived in while living in Cuba. Taken from a slide she shot herself while there and painted by her cousin Phillip Stack 1962. We has it restored and reframed in mango wood while in Hawaii. It hangs in out living room above the chinese desk as a tribute to dreams and the taking of risks large and small

    For the next 35 years she took risks, made choices some good some not so good, but she didnt play it safe all of the time. Even though I, as her child, paid some of the price for those risks that didnt turn out well, I look back with admiration at some of the things she managed to accomplish in her life.

    My Father"s grandmother left a comfortable life in England, a widow with three small children, to pursue an amazing ambition for the times, to work for the legendary Florenz Zeigfeld, whom she had met in London. Her husband had died at sea, a Captain in the British Navy, and she literally slipped out of town and landed in New York where she worked first as a stand in, then as a Chorus Girl in Zeigfelds productions. Her Stage career didnt last long for she met and married a business man and moved to California. He didnt last long either...(I think he was older as was the Captain.)But it wasnt long before she married again this time to a man 25 years her junior. By then her children had grown and I think the scandal was this man being nearly as young as they were... Such is love. Great Grandmother Georgieanne was a risk taker...

    So was her son, who won the heart of a visiting family friend, and they ran away and were married. We know very little about my father's mother, other than she was a Spanish national (maybe Portuguese, the State Dept was not able to assertain this when my father was trying to get his secret clearence). She for reasons unknown to us, perhaps to make a family visit,or perhaps to escape what must have been a difficult marriage, went back to Spain in the summer of 1933. She disembarked at Barcelona, boarded a train, and was never heard from again. My father's family who didnt like her forbade discussing her. So ther are many questions and few answers

    My Fathers life was a series of risky leaps into the unknown...He ran away from home at 14, and lived in Salt Lake City for nearly a year on his own. He was brought back to San Francisco, and was living with his aunt and uncle,the parents of my Aunt Jean, who I wrote about here his father had been unable to care for him, and died from injuries suffered in a bar fight on the San Francisco waterfron where he worked as a long shoreman. My Father was truly an orphan at 10. Three marriages to three very different women,he didnt have the family he longed for until he was 36 and even then he wasnt able to enjoy a home life, because he was too caught up in the pushing and shoving it took to make his way up a career ladder that didnt reward non conformists too often.Once he "made it" he gave up on living once his dream was realized... not understanding that its the journey that is most important. Its not arrival at the destination so much but the way we handle the bumps on the road to getting there.

    Neil Armstrong said as he stepped on the lunar surface, "One small step for a man, One giant leap for mankind"...He was right. But it wasnt that moment that was the leap. It was the millions of man hours and the creative genious that got him there that was the Leap. I know in my own life that the giant Leaps that I have made only came because those that went before me were "leapers" too. Today as we sit before our PC's, sipping coffee zapped in a microwave,reaching for the cel phone,or the dvd to put into the player, let us thank those that created the ideas that make our life what it is, both in personal developement and our 21st century culture. And let us not be afraid to "leap" ourselves, creating new visions to facilitate the "leaps" for tomorrows children...

    the original dream, Azure Seas Jewelry 114 Haili st. Hilo Big Island of Hawaii, my greatest leap into the unknown

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    July 16, 2007

    Hapa Mele, or Bits of News

    My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
    Reverend Lady Hokulea the Perplexed of Divine Intervention
    Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

    A friend at work sent me this silly thing. I told her I would post it on the blog and she thought that was a cool thing. I just hope the title doesnt stick. She thinks that my ability to save her from certain doom when things go wrong on her desk at night deserves a title. I dont care what they call me as long as I dont find my desk packed into a box when I come in some evening....

    She was trying to make me smile. Its been hard here at the Hale, and Woody's midlife crisis is still in evidence. But more on that in another post.

    Its been a while since I have put out a post like this with a little of this and that. I find that my creative juices are a bit under the weather these days... but there are a few little tidbits that I would like to post on that dont quite make for a whole post.

    I saw on the news today that the "Hokulea" voyaging canoe, which has been one a multination west pacific tour has arrived safly home to Hawaii. If you like sailing or love the ocean as much as I do you will enjoy the photos and the story behind this beautiful ship and the impact that it has had culturally for Native Hawaiians. Their ships blog is found at the website of the Polynesian Voyaging Society For some of the new readers, it was this vessel and the story of the "Star Of Gladness" that lead to my un official adoption of this name as a Nom De Plume... With all of our journeying its been most appropriate.

    Ginger on the Cliffs near Hilo Hawaii

    Speaking of travel, names and such. I am one of those poor souls trying to get my passport renewed so that I can travel, but according to this report and others you are likely to have seen, its a nightmare that only the government could cook up. I complicate things only by trying to straighten out a mess created by other bumbling breaurocrats who insisted that I must use my old married name (that Id not used for years) because I didnt have a court order showing it changed back to the name given at birth. Now in these post 9-11 days of identity stringency, I need to have all forms of ID match. I was going to do this when the thing expried but didnt and now that I want to make a trip out of the country Im trying to get this handled. After 4 trips to the Post Office, staffed by people who dont care about their own jobs, let alone this task that has been thrust upon them by our government...(the post office is a private enterprise, not a government entity, most people dont know that). I was told to do something different every day, "fill out this form, no that form, no you need five more references... Why do you want to change your name?..."Because I have never been that person, nothing that I have shows that name." Well, they wont do it... "It's the name I was given at birth for Pete's sake...on my birth certificate yet..." If this comes back its not our fault... but we aren't allowed to offer an opinion about these things.

    I walked out of the Post Office and threw a screaming fit in my car. Then I calmly drove to the courthouse in Bentonville. The Court Clerk looked and my paperwork, and had me fill out an additional form giving information regarding my divorce, and she stamped and packaged my documents. We paid the 127.00, and went to a PostNet and used UPS next day delivery to the processing center in New CAstle Delaware...This is the new home of the center that was once in New Orleans. Im told that if all goes well...max wait time is two weeks, if there is a hiccup, I could be in trouble.

    And where do I want to go? I was approached by the people that put on the retreats that I have been going to to consider traveling with John Michael Talbot to Southern Ireland. This is a once in a lifetime trip that will go to places that are not ordinarily available to the average tourist. All of the accomodations are top drawer and nearly all expenses are included in the price. A single lady already traveling is looking for a roomate, and I could travvel with her. Woody is considering going but isnt passionate about it. Im very OK if he doesnt go. I was supposed to have a in this week but I am not surrendering a dime until I see my passport.

    Should this not work out we are going to try to go to Panama either by taking a cruise or going to a all inclusive resort. Woody was born there and I would enjoy seeing the country and reveling in the fabulous beaches. We shall see...

    We did become owners of a third vehicle, a 1996 Toyota Avalon, that Woody bought as a utility vehicle. I am putting a lot of miles on my van and I cannot ride in the Crossfire. We took the Avalon to run errands and I felt very comfortable in it. The neighbors will think we are crazy or trading cars for a hobby.

    As a last bit of news... The Grapevine Mall closed ending our attempt to start a small jewelry business. I am sorry but relieved as I have a lot going on in my life...

    But just as we were leaving, we sighted a truck out in front, with a cage full of ... puppies!...No we didnt become puppy parents that day but we are talking about it... and that is making Makkie and Nani very nervious

    Hey! we dont need any dog... Now dont bother me!! Makoa in his carrier, He loves to snooze in this little nest, and will open and close the door at will

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    July 14, 2007

    Psalm 40~ A Song of Deliverence

    Peaceful Garden, Little Portion Retreat Center, More Mountain, Eureka Springs AR

    Psalm 40

    A Psalm of David.

    My Help and My Deliverer

    I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he inclined to me and heard my cry.
    He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
    out of the miry bog,
    and set my feet upon a rock,
    making my steps secure.
    He put a new song in my mouth,
    a song of praise to our God.
    Many will see and fear,
    and put their trust in the Lord.

    Blessed is the man who makes
    the Lord his trust,
    who does not turn to the proud,
    to those who go astray after a lie!
    You have multiplied, O Lord my God,
    your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
    none can compare with you!
    I will proclaim and tell of them,
    yet they are more than can be told.

    Sacrifice and offering you have not desired,
    but you have given me an open ear.
    Burnt offering and sin offering
    you have not required.
    Then I said, “Behold, I have come;
    in the scroll of the book it is written of me:
    I desire to do your will, O my God;
    your law is within my heart.”

    I have told the glad news of deliverance
    in the great congregation;
    behold, I have not restrained my lips,
    as you know, O Lord.
    I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart;
    I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;
    I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness
    from the great congregation.

    As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain
    your mercy from me;
    your steadfast love and your faithfulness will
    ever preserve me!
    For evils have encompassed me
    beyond number;
    my iniquities have overtaken me,
    and I cannot see;
    they are more than the hairs of my head;
    my heart fails me.

    Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me!
    O Lord, make haste to help me!
    Let those be put to shame and disappointed altogether
    who seek to snatch away my life;
    let those be turned back and brought to dishonor
    who desire my hurt!
    Let those be appalled because of their shame
    who say to me, "Aha, Aha!"

    But may all who seek you
    rejoice and be glad in you;
    may those who love your salvation
    say continually, "Great is the Lord!"
    As for me, I am poor and needy,
    but the Lord takes thought for me.
    You are my help and my deliverer;
    do not delay, O my God!

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    July 12, 2007

    A Question of Direction

    A wilderness view, Tanyard Creek Nature Trail, Bella Vista Arkansas

    Post begun July 3 2007

    "What were you thinking?... you werent thinking, you are out of your mind!"
    "Im not out of my mind, I can afford it, and I knew you wouldnt understand and youd yell at me..."
    "Thats a 30,000.00 car and you dont have a job."
    "Im using the intrest off of my retirement account to make the payments, and restoring my credit."
    "You are supposed to be saving that for the future...what about your old age?"
    "Tomorrow will take care of itsself, I wanted the car and I dont care what you think"
    "You didnt even call me or consider the potential fallout from this decision"
    " I didnt care, I dont care..."

    It was 2 am and I was pulling into the drive, it had been a long night at work and I was beat. I thought that I was seeing things...

    There was a flaming red Chrysler Crossfire Coupe in my driveway...

    I was so mad I couldnt see straight and well, it was very unpleasent for several hours... and its still unpleasent with regards to the car even now a week later.

    He has a story about it...he always has something to say, but he cant justify it. He schemed for weeks and didnt tell me. He allowed the crooks at the dealership to convince him he deserved it and how wonderful it would be for him when really they had screwed up and ordered the wrong car and this was a way for them to sell it with out it ever hitting the showroom floor.

    I find that it typifies our life right now...a sort of "every savage for themselves" mentality that makes me constantly wonder what I am doing here. I am now in a separate bedroom, Yes I have all of my stuff in there (I feel like I am sleeping in a library) and my new bed is comfortable to the point of luxurious. I can sleep all that I want and not worry about waking Woody up when I come home at night... but this "practical" plan has left me feeling somewhat lost and very sad. I dont have even the little contact that I used to have with him...

    July 12

    Divorce resolves nothing. It creates a whole set of new problems, and for the two of us who have few options, we really need each other. We need to work things out and not just harden our hearts totally. I feel very fortunate that we have people around us that are committing helping us work through things.

    A good friend talked to me about my anger, bitterness and resentment. I overflow with these negative emotions that yes are well justified but in truth only hurt me. I cant control Woody, only myself. Those are things that I have to deal with, regardless of what Woody does or how he acts. This resentment of his seemingly effortless way of life, financially and otherwise is sinful. I feel like I have to struggle all of the time and envy his life...when in reality its God that puts us where we are. I cant change how my life is by much, I have attempted to be faithful in what I can so I need to rest in God's provision and quit looking at Woody, who may be getting his reward...

    I have tried to make peace with the car... its pretty, the way most impractical things are pretty. I rode up to Eureka Springs in it...pretty much spent the day in the car. My body ached for days, I have deep tissue bruises where the roll bars dug grooves into my thighs and my backside is sore from having to pretty much sit on my tailbone bent crooked as we drive all over More Mountain... I managed to ignore my claustrophobia and how a car like that reminds me of a coffin and I feel like I am going to suffocate in the low riding go cart of a thing....

    I still want to kick it everytime I pass it in the drive as I come home from a hard nights work. To me it symbolizes everything I despise anymore.... conspicuous consumption, living beyond ones means... and the neighbors who see Woody clambering out of it, struggling... then say to me "why?"... I cant answer that as I dont know. It is I dont know, a sign of the huge rift that has always been, just manifesting itself now. We are so different and I doubt that we will ever truly connect. We can only hope to move in a better more positive direction...

    Postscript...tonight at work my boss says "Hey, Hoku, your hesbands on the phone..." Yeah , its Woody, wanting me to come down to the parking lot. There he is with another car, a used Toyota Avalon. It has seen better days but it is comfortable and while it has a faint smoked in smell, the leather seats and the smooth ride make up for a multitude of sins. I regret his selling the LHS as it was in much better shape and had lower miles... But perhaps Woody will buy this one for running around town, as he cant put anything into the Crossfire including golfclubs or both cat carriers...

    He has been talking to a friend about us, I know, and there have been some positive moves, He is spending more time with me and... well... I sense that he is trying. I am too. I want there to be no question of direction, just an obvious forward motion as we try to pick up the pieces of our lives...one piece at a time.

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    July 08, 2007

    1 Peter 1:3-25 Our Living Hope

    Leleiwe Point Big Island of Hawaii

    1 Peter 1:3-25

    Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

    to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you,

    who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

    In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials,

    so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

    Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory,

    obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

    Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace that was to be yours searched and inquired carefully,

    inquiring what person or time the Spirit of Christ in them was indicating when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glories.

    It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look.

    Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

    As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance,

    but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,

    since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

    And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile,

    knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold,

    but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.

    He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for your sake,

    who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.

    Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,

    since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God;

    "All flesh is like grass
    and all its glory like the flower of grass.
    The grass withers,
    and the flower falls,

    but the word of the Lord remains forever."

    And this word is the good news that was preached to you.

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    July 04, 2007

    I am Thankful To Be An American

    The Historic War Eagle Mill War Eagle AR

    I was listening to Sean Hannity on my radio as I was driving in to work. He was doing a "man on the street" piece regarding Independence Day. I was astounded to hear the responses of people to questions such as...

    "What day is tomorrow?" Most said July 4th, not Independence Day

    "Why is it important?" Many didnt know...

    "What or Whom are we independent from?" Again many didnt know

    Basic history questions like "Who wrote the Declaration of Independence?" "When was it signed?" "Who did we fight in the Revolutionary War?" I kid you not someone said the Japanese....It was funny and horrifying at the same time, a feeling I experience often these days when watching the news.

    The ignorance of the public amazes me. It is little wonder that we find ourselves as divided as a people...for we have forgotton our common heritage as Americans

    I have been in touch with people in other countries all of my life. I have experienced first hand the reverent attitude that people overseas once had for our flag and our way of life. Dont let the silly libs fool you. The world may be screaming "Death to America!" But they still would fight to get a visa to live here forever. Even the islamomaniacs indulge themselves in our way of life all the while planning to try to destroy us.

    No nation has done more for the rest of the world for so long with so little given back than anyone else. It is that largesse that has earned us grace in the eyes of God and has held back the enemy's hand. It is our praying people that allow God to cover and protect us form the terrorist plots. The bravery of our Armed Forces give cause to those who would attack us to think twice.

    I love being an American. I thank God often for this gift of citizenship in the greatest country on earth. Those who scorn her do so hypocritically and at their peril of their way of life. For the very freedom to criticize America is a gift to them bought with the blood and treasure of the nation they scorn.

    I am Thankful To Be An American

    I am thankful to be an American,
    To live in the greatest land of all.
    In a nation blessed, it's the very best,
    I can stand with my head up tall.
    I am thankful to be an American,
    To be born in a land that's free.
    I am thankful to God for allowing me to be,
    An American.

    Pray for our Armed Forces today, especially those in harms way...

    July 01, 2007

    Psalm 3~The Lord Sustains Me

    Summer Hay Field Near Gentry AR

    Psalm 3

    O LORD, how my adversaries have increased! Many are rising up against me.
    Many are saying of my soul, "There is no deliverance for him in God." Selah.
    But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head.
    I was crying to the LORD with my voice, And He answered me from His holy mountain. Selah.
    I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.
    I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people Who have set themselves against me round about.
    Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God! For You have smitten all my enemies on the cheek; You have shattered the teeth of the wicked.
    Salvation belongs to the LORD; Your blessing be upon Your people! Selah.

    Hokule'a at mywideblueseas@gmail.com

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