May 31, 2010

Memorial Day Blessings

To be free to fly the flag one of our blessings. Pear Tree Cottage Bella Vista AR

I am blessed beyond words and sometimes I fear that things cannot go on this way... I feel amazed.

The dark moments I sometimes have are the grief that has been pent up for years. I cry and move on the day is brighter and I am happy much of the time. I am so thankful to God for this.

I have had contact from my nephew Dave and his wife Ashleigh, through Facebook, that my brother Steve has been ill and in a medically induced coma. He has wakened, is lucid and talking. I dont know the hows and whys of this but I am thrilled that they tried to contact me. I have let them know that I am available to communicate at any level that he chooses. I pray that this is soon.

I count my blessings daily...

My faith and the ability to receive my Lord Body Blood Soul and Divinity in His church

My continuing involvement with the BVUMC and my many friends there

For the contact with my family, for their health and well being and for Gods protection and providing for Woody in his circumstances

For my work, my vocation and avocations, for the provision my job has provided so I have peace and bread in my house and the gift of time so I might begin the healing process of a life times worth of pain.

And there is much more...but I cannot list it all...you my readers are a blessing to me too. Thank you for your love and encouragement

Labels: Faith, Personal Growth, Prayers

October 23, 2009

You Are Divinely and Eternally Loved~a meditation

Eternal Blue Skies above Panama City Beach Florida

one of my latest crazes is Facebook. Several friends had encouraged me to use that as a tool to stay connected during this rough season in my life and its been a huge help to me.

I have strengthened old freindships, maintained a few friendships long distance and been introduced to some new friends...one of them is Vinny Flynn. He is a well known writer speaker and musician, best known perhaps as the patriarch of a very talented family and for his devotion to the Divine Mercy and Eucharistic Adoration. Here is a Facebook posting of his that really spoke to me recently


During Adoration this morning, the words of a song kept popping into my mind — “divinely and eternally loved” — the final words of one of the songs on my daughter Erin’s CD “Through the Darkness.” I can never listen to this song without tears, partly because of the beauty and emotion in Erin’s voice and partly because of the lyrics themselves.

Today the final phrase really hit me, and I was flooded with the reality of it: “You are divinely and eternally loved.”

Here’s the reality: You are not an accident. You didn’t just happen, no matter what the circumstances of your birth. You were not merely born; not merely created. You were fathered — lovingly, personally formed in your mother’s womb by God, who wanted you to be born, wanted you as His child.

There were millions of other human persons who could have been conceived through the union of your mother and father, each with his or her own completely unique DNA. Your parents, of course, couldn’t see all the possibilities and choose the one they wanted. But God could — and did.

Quite simply, you exist because God choose you, from all the millions of others who could have been born. You are — at the very least — “one in a million.” As Pope John Paul II wrote in his “Letter to Families,” “Parents, as you beget children, never forget that God wanted them born.”

That’s why abortion is always wrong, even in cases of rape and incest. No matter how unexpected, inconvenient, dangerous, tragic, or even violent the circumstances may be, one reality is always the same: from all the millions of possibilities, God chooses the child He wants born. And when God chooses to give life to a child, He also chooses to love that child forever, one-on-one, in a different way than He has ever loved any other child.

I have 7 children and (at last count) 23 grandchildren; and I do not love them all the same. I love each one differently and have a different relationship with each one. The more I get to know each one, the more unique that relationship becomes, and I can truthfully say to each, “I love you differently than I have ever loved anyone else.”

This is the way God loves you. When you can put aside all distractions and concerns and focus exclusively on God — in other words, when you become present to Him who is present to you — you will find yourself loved in an entirely unique way. It’s as if no one else exists at that moment — just you and God. You are His entire focus, the delight of His heart.

This then, is what it means, first of all, to be “divinely and eternally loved: to be chosen and set apart from all others in the heart of God.

What else does “divinely loved” mean? It means you are “thrice” loved. There is no separation in the Trinity. As St. Faustina expresses it, “Whoever is in communion with One of the Three Persons is thereby united to the whole Blessed Trinity, for this Oneness is indivisible” (Diary, 472). At every moment of your life, you are being held in the loving embrace of three divine Persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

How do divine persons love? Unconditionally. Not based on behavior, but on relationship. God doesn’t give or withhold love depending on how you act. There is nothing you have ever done or could ever do that can make God stop loving you. You don’t have that power. You can’t change God. He is always loving you, always wanting the best for you. The things you think and say and do don’t change Him; they change you. They either draw you closer to Him and His love, or they pull you away from Him so that you can’t feel or respond to His love.

“Eternally love?” It means that this personal, one-on-one, unchanging love of God for you is not bound by time. He knew you and loved you before He formed you in your mother’s womb, and His love for you will never end.

You are divinely loved — forever!

I needed that thanks Vinny!

Labels: Catholic, Faith, Prayers

September 02, 2009

The Journey Prayer

A Solitary Place, Gethsemeni Abbey, Loreto KY

Prayer from tonight's RCIA class

My Lord God.. I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing . I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone...

Thomas Merton "Thoughts in Solitude"

Labels: Kentucky, Prayers, RCIA

July 23, 2009

A Prayer For The Stormtossed

Father of Heaven
as You came to Peter
and the other disciples
late one stormy night
on the Sea of Galalee
to quell the storm
to restore calm

Quell the storm that rages in my soul



Take away all fear and anxiety
Fill me with you peace
Grant that this trial
May bring me closer to God
For You, God,
are my strength
my hope and my song.

Blessed in Your Name
always Father,
Son and Holy Spirit
Amen and Amen



From the Orthodox Prayer Book

with a hat tip to Amy of The Daily Weaving

Labels: Faith, Prayers, Scenic Arkansas

July 01, 2009

...A Story About Him...

Glorious Dawn over Panama City Beach FL


Anoint my heart with the oil of Your mercy,
my most merciful Lord.
May neither anger against the strong
nor scorning of the weak ever erupt in my heart!
For everything is weaker than the morning dew.
May hatred never make a nest in my heart
against those who plot evil against me,
so that I may be mindful of their end
and be at peace.

Morning Cloudscape Panama City Beach FL

Mercifulness opens the way
to the heart of all creatures,
and brings joy.
Mercilessness brings fog to the fore,
and creates a cramped isolation.
Have mercy on Your merciful servant,
most Tender Hand,
and reveal to me the mystery
of Your mercy.
The Ultimate Man
is the child of the Father’s mercy
and the Spirit’s light.

A dancing hermit crab, at low tide. Panama City Beach FL


All creation is merely a story about Him.
The mighty suns in the heavens
and the smallest drops of water in the lake
can in themselves be one part of the story about Him.
All the builders of heaven and earth,
from the exceedingly mighty Seraphim
to rulers and the tiniest particle of dust,
tell the very same story about Him,
their fore-essence and fore-source.
What are all the things on the earth
and the moon except the sun in stories?
Truly, in this way
all visible and invisible creation
is the Ultimate Man in stories.

Wind Swept Salt Grass, Cape San Blas, Fl


Essence is simple,
but there is no end or number
to the stories about essence.
My neighbors, how can I tell you about essence,
when you do not even understand stories.
Ah if you only knew how great the sweetness,
the expanse, and the strength are,
when one reaches the bottom of all the stories—there,
where the stories begin and where they end.
There, where the tongue is silent
and where everything is told at once!
How boring all the lengthy
and tedious stories of creatures become then!
Truly, they become just as boring
as it is for one who is accustomed
to seeing lightning to hear stories about lightning.

Evening Seas Sunset over the Gulf Panama City Beach FL

Receive me into Yourself,
O Only-Begotten Son,
so that I may be one with You
as I was before creation and the fall.
Let my long and weary story about You end
with a moment’s vision of You.
Let my self-deception die,
that would have me think that I am something without You,
that I am something else outside of You.
My ears are stuffed with stories.
My eyes no longer seek to see
any display of clothing but You,
my essence, overladen with stories and clothing.

from Prayers by the Lake

by St Nikolai Velimirovic

with a hat tip to The Handmaid at Christ is in our Midst

Labels: Florida, Prayers

May 25, 2009

A Soldier's Prayer~A Memorial Day Tribute

Lest We Forget - American Cemetery Normandy
The American Battle Monuments Commission administers, operates, and maintains twenty-four permanent American burial grounds on foreign soil. Presently there are 124,917 U.S. War Dead interred at these cemeteries, 30,922 of World War I, 93,245 of World War II and 750 of the Mexican War.

The World War II Normandy American Cemetery and Memorial is situated on a cliff overlooking Omaha Beach and the English Channel in Colleville-sur Mer, France. It is just east of St. Laurent-sur-Mer and northwest of Bayeux about one hundred and seventy miles west of Paris.

The cemetery contains the graves of 9,387 American military Dead, most of whom gave their lives during the landings and ensuing operations of World War II.

An S.A.S. Soilder's Prayer

I bring this prayer to You, Lord,
For You alone can give
What one cannot demand from oneself

Give me, Lord,what You have left over
Give me what no one ever asks You for.

I dont ask You for rest,
Or quiet,
Whether of soul or body;
I dont ask You for wealth,
Nor for success,
Nor even health perhaps,
That sort of thing You get asked for so much
That You cant have any of it left...

Give me, Lord, what You have left over,
Give me what no one wants from You...

I want insecurity and strife
And I want You to give me these
Once and for all
So that I can be sure of having them always
Since I shall not always have the courage
To ask You for them

Give me Lord what You have left over
Give me what others want nothing to do with

But give me courage too...
And strenght and faith
For You alone can give
What one cannot demand from oneself.

Lieutenant Andre Zirnheld (d. 1941)

Lt. Zirnheld was a college philosophy professor before WWII, in which he served in the British S.A.S.. This prayer was found on his body when he was killed in action in Lybia in 1941

Labels: Catholic, Prayers, Quotable Quotes, Traveling

December 25, 2008

A Nativity Prayer

The Blessed Mother and Child...the statue of Our Lady of Einsiedeln, patroness of St. Meinrad Archabbey, St Meinrad IN

Nativity Prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian

The feast day of your birth resembles You, Lord
Because it brings joy to all humanity.
Old people and infants alike enjoy your day.
Your day is celebrated
from generation to generation.
Kings and emperors may pass away,
And the festivals to commemorate them soon lapse.
But your festival
will be remembered until the end of time.
Your day is a means and a pledge of peace.
At Your birth heaven and earth were reconciled,
Since you came from heaven to earth on that day
You forgave our sins and wiped away our guilt.
You gave us so many gifts on the day of your birth:
A treasure chest of spiritual medicines for the sick;
Spiritual light for the blind;
The cup of salvation for the thirsty;
The bread of life for the hungry.
In the winter when trees are bare,
You give us the most succulent spiritual fruit.
In the frost when the earth is barren,
You bring new hope to our souls.
In December when seeds are hidden in the soil,
The staff of life springs forth from the virgin womb.

St. Ephraim the Syrian (AD 306-373)

Labels: Catholic, IN, Prayers

November 16, 2008

Jeremiah 33:1-18~The Lord Promises Peace

pipe organ installed 1897 St Francis of Rome Catholic Church Clifton township Louisville KY


Jeremiah 33:1-18~

The Lord Promises Peace

The word of the Lord came to Jeremiah a second time, while he was still shut up in the court of the guard:"Thus says the Lord who made the earth, the Lord who formed it to establish it,the Lord is his name:Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.For thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the houses of this city and the houses of the kings of Judah that were torn down to make a defense against the siege mounds and against the sword:They are coming in to fight against the Chaldeans and to fill them with the dead bodies of men whom I shall strike down in my anger and my wrath, for I have hidden my face from this city because of all their evil.Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security.I will restore the fortunes of Judah and the fortunes of Israel, and rebuild them as they were at first.I will cleanse them from all the guilt of their sin against me, and I will forgive all the guilt of their sin and rebellion against me.And this city shall be to me a name of joy, a praise and a glory before all the nations of the earth who shall hear of all the good that I do for them. They shall fear and tremble because of all the good and all the prosperity I provide for it.

"Thus says the Lord: In this place of which you say, 'It is a waste without man or beast,' in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are desolate, without man or inhabitant or beast, there shall be heard again the voice of mirth and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voices of those who sing, as they bring thank offerings to the house of the Lord:

"'Give thanks to the Lord of hosts,
for the Lord is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever!'

For I will restore the fortunes of the land as at first, says the Lord.

Thus says the Lord of hosts: In this place that is waste, without man or beast, and in all of its cities, there shall again be habitations of shepherds resting their flocks.In the cities of the hill country, in the cities of the Shephelah, and in the cities of the Negeb, in the land of Benjamin, the places about Jerusalem, and in the cities of Judah, flocks shall again pass under the hands of the one who counts them, says the Lord.


"Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will fulfill the promise I made to the house of Israel and the house of Judah.In those days and at that time I will cause a righteous Branch to spring up for David, and he shall execute justice and righteousness in the land.In those days Judah will be saved and Jerusalem will dwell securely. And this is the name by which it will be called: 'The Lord is our righteousness.'

"For thus says the Lord: David shall never lack a man to sit on the throne of the house of Israel,and the Levitical priests shall never lack a man in my presence to offer burnt offerings, to burn grain offerings, and to make sacrifices forever."

Labels: Kentucky, Louisville, Prayers, scripture

March 29, 2008

Divine Mercy In My Soul

Ave Maria Lady Chapel at St Boniface church anaheim CA. Our Lady of Czestochowa is the patroness of Poland St Faustina's homeland


Everyday at 0300 and at 1500 EST EWTN broadcasts a 20 minute prayer called the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy. This carries across north America and is part of a worldwide devotion called the "3 o'clock Devotion" In some nations like Poland and the Philippines the prayer is called on nearly all national media outlets and is a part of a daily routine. Nurses all over the world say the prayer for the sick and dying as it is thought to provide special comfort to the afflicted and a means for the dying to "release themselves" into the Hand of the Father. I was praying that prayer at the hour of my Mother's death after a prolonged struggle with Parkinson's diesese.

Over the past three years I have become more and more interested in this devotion and in the life and message of St Faustina. Her diary, and what she wrote therein has startled me. The prophetic passages that predict WWII the Holocaust, (she was an enclosed nun who died in 1938. These passages were written before the rise of Hitler) Her diary predicts the occupation and liberation of Poland and the rise of "a spiritual leader" from that land that will lead the world into a new understanding of Divine Truth. Certainly John Paul II fits that description. The proof of the prophet is fullfillment of the prophecy.

So,who was St Faustina and why is she so important? What is this "feast" about read more here

The Divine Mercy devotion is one of the many many things that has lead me towards the The Roman Church. I see in the devotion a purpose for the suffering all around me. Where in so many churches that I have sat in, suffering is a sign of God's displeasure, in the Catholic church, and within the Divine Mercy devotion suffering is lookd upon as "redemptive" "an offering that you can give up to God". It has helped me to make sense of much of my life and my current struggles...

The Divine Mercy devotion has also refined my veiw of the sufferings of Jesus. Why would God require such a sacrifice from His own child? It is the Ransom of the World, and its power is released in the prayers of the faithful...

This isnt a cure all I am not espousing an end to private prayer, free prayer from the heart, but there is something powerful in people praying the same prayer in the same fashion with the same intent at the same hour every hour of the day around the clock.


Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.repeat 10x

repeat this cycle 5x

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.repeat 3x

then from the Novena

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins, but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion show us Your mercy, that we may praise the omnipotence of Your mercy for ever and ever. Amen.

Labels: California, Catholic, Prayers

March 19, 2008

Pange Lingua Gloriosi~ an Easter Hymn

Stained Glass St Boniface Church Anaheim CA

When at length the appointed fullness
Of the sacred time was come
He was sent the world's Creator
From The Father's heavenly home
And was found in human fashion
Offspring of The Virgin's womb

Now the thirty years have ended
Which on earth he willed to see
Willingly he meets His Passion
Born to set His people free
On the cross The Lamb is lifted
There the Sacrifice to be

There the nails and spear He suffered
Vinegar and gall and reed
From His sacred body pierced
Blodd and water forth proceed
Precious flood, which all creation
From the stain of sin hath freed

Venantius Fortunatius
530-609 AD

Labels: California, Catholic, Poem, Prayers

December 24, 2007

Where is Christmas

Holiday Cheer

My Christmas tree is still in its carton on my kitchen floor, my mantle is half decorated, and most of my Christmas cards will most likely have to be labled Valentine's Day cards....I have done nothing to improve the national economy, in otherwords no shopping. I have bought no gifts, and neither has Wood. Ive sung few carols, and watched no specials on TV...

There is little of Christmas in our house...

Ive sat for many hours thinking and prayed, poured over my business plan and with the notes on the discussions of the job with International. I have spent countless hours with Annabelle or the kitties and Woody. I have worked and worked at my job. I have wondered about the customs and the culture of Christmas, and what I have thought was important in years past.

I have come to understand that none of it matters

Family get togethers and not having them... its ok
Participation in Christmas functions, I want to do this, but not doing it...its ok
Giving gifts, great to do and I did get some stuff for the Angel Tree,but not having a huge gift list is OK

I am burned out mentally and wish that I could just run away for a few days...but I am chained to my desk, and my life here. The mental "unpacking" I have been doing is good I think..hey you cant dump out baggage of the mind unless you unpack it and choose to let it go. I had another moment of that tonight at the Candlelight service at the Methodist church. The group that will be leading the contemporary worship had their first outing. I really wanted to be a part of that. I have worked and spent the last year or so helping with the planning... My working nights and now leaving for Louisville eiminated my participation in any of it. I wasnt asked to join in at all, even at the Hospitality level. It hurt a bit.

Leading worship is a part of my past as well. I found myself defined by that ministry for nearly 7 years. I looked at the young women that were doing that tonight and thought a thought that I have often had... that this is a ministry for the young to the young of their generation and I need to give it up and pray for them and support them in every way that I can... but that wasnt what came out... What I felt was..

I could have been a part of this if I wasnt working nights... but I needed to work nights because it was the best way to deal with my situation at home and my situation at home would be wonderful if Woody would just be a husband and let me be a wife to him. Why do I have to give up MY LIFE and do everything so his life just stays wonderful and comfortable and...He gets to retire... I get to support him and after 25 years of this he dies leaves me a pauper and says "I dont care about it, I will be dead after all..." Such love leaves me speechless.

Im doing the business because I cant stay at thisplace. I will one day be obsolete there and I will have to give that up...What value does a desk job give you. A business can be sold for a profit in addition to the money you earn from it. But why must I be concerned about such things when it is the husbands place to do that...I look at these people and their happy lives everything in order... my life is so out of order that people would recoil if they knew what my heart is like.

I cant stay at thisplace as it is full of men who are ripe for the picking and one day I may pull an Eve and pick some poison fruit.

I am running away from home and using my half of our net worth to do it. Woody said to me he wants a share in the business. I know that it will end up like Azure Seas. He will get into it and throw his weight around and I will end up losing it like I lost my store... with my name on the loans...

I want to kick myself..
If I only had a family...
If I could turn back the clock.. .

None of this is productive, but my heart is full of it, of anger and I can perhaps unpack it to the priest when I have to make my full confession in March. I have no one that can talk to about it. I have tried to talk to Woody. He is sorry "that I am so sad... but he cant change anything now..." OK the situation is what it is... I am chained to it and the shackle that chains me to it has rubbed a raw wound into my spirit and it has festered and is bleeding to the point now that I fear that I will never recover.

He doesnt care... no one around me cares and life just goes on...

I ask "Where is Christmas?"

I am not alone in the asking. So many of the people that I know are just weary to the pits of their souls. A friend is spending his last Christmas with his family. His wife filed for divorce and they will tell the children after the holiday. My neighbor is so overwelmed with depression and just the feeling of disconnect that she cant pull together a holiday spirit. The sad thing is that we are all Christians and this should be the most joyous time of year. It seems to be insted a time of dread and discomfort. The expectations have gotten too high and let down is starting sometime before Thanksgiving

At the risk of being sooooo gloomy. The weather is beautiful and I am glad to be alive. I wish that there were a better way for me. Nothing about my life is ever simple. I knew that once we left Hawaii and started living a "normal" life that these things would surface and we would have to deal with them. I just never realized that I would be the one wrestling alone.

It is past midnight Dec 24 and I am watching a short version of a Benediction, where the priest chants the Litany of the Sacred Heart...my favorite title in the prayer is..."Heart of Jesus, Burning Furnace of Charity" I know that right now I am deep in that burning furnace, being prepared for a future holiness that is beyond me.. truly that will be the greatest Christmas gift that I have ever received beyond my salvation. I need to keep trusting and as Pastor David said tonight...Try to let go of these things of the past that hold you down...I am trying to do that and move beyond the suffering... and in doing so find Christmas anew, and find the joy of My Lord once more.

Labels: Catholic, Faith, Family History, Marriage, Praise and Worship, Prayers, Woody

November 22, 2007

Cultivate A Heart Of Gratitude

American Bandstand, Belleville OH

Now thank we all our God,
with heart and hands and voices,
Who wondrous things has done,
in Whom this world rejoices;
Who from our mothers’ arms
has blessed us on our way
With countless gifts of love,
and still is ours today.

O may this bounteous God
through all our life be near us,
With ever joyful hearts
and blessèd peace to cheer us;
And keep us in His grace,
and guide us when perplexed;
And free us from all ills,
in this world and the next!

All praise and thanks to God
the Father now be given;
The Son and Him Who reigns
with Them in highest Heaven;
The one eternal God,
whom earth and Heaven adore;
For thus it was, is now,
and shall be evermore.

This is one of my favorite hymns, and I love it that our church uses it often in services year round much more than the ususal once or twice a year at this time in the calander.

I love Thanksgiving and all of the warm fuzzies that go along with it even if we here in our house skipped the cooking and went to Mimi's Had a lovely Thanksgiving meal with Woody. He is sleeping it off, I came home and took Annabelle out for a breezy walk in her new pink quilted coat with a faux fur trimed hood. Yesterday it was a burgundy sweater... she endures all of this without one complaint. Woody complains that Annabelle is neither my little baby nor a doll to dress. I just want her warm... Now hair acessories are another thing all together!

I miss the family social thing but after traveling last week I am so glad I wasnt going anywhere this weekend. Just enjoying the quiet if a bit chilly house has been lovely.

I have a little plaque that sits on our table that reads "Be Grateful" Its so easy to forget how much we have, not just materially, but just the basics like food shelter and freedom from fear. How many people in this world have none of those things... Quite a few.

I have to admit though, my conciousness has been raised somewhat in the past few months. I have not been a big giver... Sadly, in my heart there has been a hardness toward the poor ("Just pick yourself up...I did..." ect)for much of my life. I see a lot of these people as hand out seekers and "gimmee" people. As I have been more and more exposed to a Catholic mindset and a real understanding of how Jesus viewed the Poor, I have felt a giving over. That has lead to having a more grateful nature.

I am thankful for many many things, people and situations in my life. I try to count my blessings at least once a day. I have been encouraged to pray the "Morning Offering" prayer. But I find that I would rather pray and just thank God for getting me to this new day and thinking of ten things that I am thankful for. That helps me put on a happy morning face rather than a grumpy one. Although I must say that getting miss Annabelle out of her bed and to her bathroom, being licked for joy all the way has a wonderful effect on my mental outlook. How can you be grumpy when your doggy just wants to love you...

But seriously...I am asking God to remind me more and more as time passes and the world is changing and I think, going to become a very hard place to live in... Just to remind me of how good I have it and how I need to just be happy and not worry so much. To be thankful and to care about the things that matter and let go of the things that dont matter. To be open to God's best and let the rest fall away like the dead leaves that fell off the trees last week.

I love todays "blog of note" Attitude of Gratitude In nearly evey post Scott W, a man recovering from addiction, lists things he's grateful for. Like my morning prayer. I found many of the things mentioned on his lists touching. As many isues as I had in my past, chemical addictions were not among them. Another thing to be grateful about...When thinking about this, I realized that I could make a list of my own...

Woody, exsaperating and misunderstood as he is, he champions me and supports me not in everyway but in more ways than most.

My life situation here in NW Arkansas. I am constantly surprised at how life has turned around. While there are hard days and I often feel very alone, I have met more straight up people... I certainly work with more straight up people, than I I ever have before. My home, my job, my health, my future, is brighter and better than at any time in my life...Im grateful for that.

Im grateful for the people that are supporting my spiritual journey, from my cousin Lyn, to my Methodist Pastor, to those that are a part of RICA at St Bernards parish, to the folks at Little Protion and John Michael Talbot...even those that are trying to disuade me right now from "crossing the Tiber" are a blessing as they get me to thinking about what I am doing. I want to be Catholic for right reasons, not just emotions or impulses

For my beautiful kitties and my sweet doggy...For the wildlife that comes up close to us and the beauty of this lovely place we call home...

For opportunity, health and well being, for enough of everything overflowing into excess. May God forgive our over indulgence, our selfish greed.

As I sit on the lanai looking out over the forest full of leafless trees... the freezing grey of a late autumn evening...snow flurries likely...me and my Annabelle, I am so glad that I have you my readers and friends on the journey as well. I love you all and so very glad that you have joined me on the journey over My Wide Blue Seas...

Labels: Catholic, Faith, Family History, Prayers, RCIA, scripture, Thanksgiving

November 21, 2007

Thanksgiving Prayer

Golden Sunset Panama City Beach Florida

This prayer appeared in the Ann Landers Column 40 years ago. It is reprinted every once in a while. I found it in my papers during the recent clean out in my garage. I love it and hope that when I am down I can remember to thank God for every little blessing

The Thanksgiving Prayer

We come to the table today, O Lord, humble and thankful and glad.

We thank You first for the great miracle of life, for the exultation of being human, for the capacity to love.

We thank you for joys both great and simple-
for wonder dreams and hope
For the newness of each day;
For laughter and song and a merry heart
For compassion waiting within to be kindled
For the forbearance of friends and the smile of a stranger;
For the arching of the earth and trees and heavens and the fruits of all three;
For the wisdom of the Old;
For the courage of the Young
For the promise of the Child
For the strength that comes when needed;
For the family united here today

Of those to whom much is given,much is required. May we and our children remember this. May God bless us and may we forever continue to cultivate a heart of gratitude...Amen

Labels: Faith, Prayers, Thanksgiving

July 08, 2007

1 Peter 1:3-25 Our Living Hope

Leleiwe Point Big Island of Hawaii

1 Peter 1:3-25

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you,

who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials,

so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory,

obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace that was to be yours searched and inquired carefully,

inquiring what person or time the Spirit of Christ in them was indicating when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glories.

It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look.

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance,

but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,

since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile,

knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold,

but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.

He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for your sake,

who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.

Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,

since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God;
for

"All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
and the flower falls,

but the word of the Lord remains forever."



And this word is the good news that was preached to you.

Labels: Hawaii, Prayers, scripture

May 28, 2007

A Prayer for Our Military~A Memorial Day Tribute

The flag being raised once flew over Omaha Beach, Normandy France, and flew over the company HQ in Iraqphoto courtesy of The Patriette

Dear Heavenly Father

As we remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom, we think of how they have followed in the footsteps of Your Son,our Saviour,Jesus Christ. Please hold our service men and women in your strong arms. Cover them with Your sheltering grace and presence as they stand in the gap for our protection. We also remember the families of our troops and ask for your unique blessings to fill their homes with your peace, provision and strength to fill their lives. May the members of our armed forces be filled with courage to face each day, and may they trust in The Lord's mighty power to accomplish each task.


On Patrol:PFC Janelle ZalkovskyPhoto courtesy of Winds Of Change

Labels: Faith, Prayers

April 07, 2007

The Easter Proclamation

The Stations of the Cross Little Portion Hermatage Retreat Center Eureka Springs AR

The Lord be with you.
And also with you.
Lift up your hearts.
We lift them up to the Lord.
Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.
It is right to give him thanks and praise.

It is truly right
that with full hearts and minds and voices
we should praise the unseen God,
the all-powerful Father,
and his only Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.
For Christ has ransomed us with his blood,
and paid for us the price of Adam's sin
to our eternal Father!

This is our passover feast,
when Christ, the true Lamb, is slain,
whose blood consecrates the homes of all believers.

This is the night when first you saved our fathers:
you free the people of Israel from their slavery
and led them dry-shod through the sea.

This is the night when Christians everywhere,
washed clean of sin
and freed from all defilement,
are restored to grace and grow together in holiness.

This is the night when Jesus Christ
broke the chains of death
and rose triumphant from the grave.

What good would life have been to us,
had Christ not come as our Redeemer?

Father, how wonderful your care for us!
How boundless your merciful love!
To ransom a slave
you gave away your Son.

O happy fault, O necessary sin of Adam,
which gained for us so great a Redeemer!

Most blessed of all nights, chosen by God
to see Christ rising from the dead!

Of this night scripture says:
"The night will be as clear as day;
it will become my light, my joy."

The power of this holy night
dispels all evil, washes guilt away,
restores lost innocence, brings mourners joy;
it casts out hatred, brings us peace,
and humbles earthly pride.

Night truly blessed when heaven is wedded to earth
and we are reconciled with God!

Therefore, heavenly Father, in the joy of this night,
receive our evening sacrifice of praise,
your Church's solemn offering.

Accept this Easter candle,
a flame divided but undimmed,
a pillar of fire that glows to the honor of God.

Let it mingle with the lights of heaven
and continue bravely burning
to dispel the darkness of this night!

May the morning Star which never sets
find this flame still burning:
Christ, that Morning Star, who came back from the dead,
and shed his peaceful light on us all,
your Son who lives and reigns for ever and ever.
Amen.

The Easter Proclamation (Exultet),
the Easter Vigil Liturgy

Labels: Faith, Little Portion, Prayers

April 06, 2007

The Seven Last Words of Jesus~ A Good Friday Meditation

St Francis'vision of Christ on the Cross. original art at the Little Portion Retreat Center near Eureka Springs AR

By the wounds of Your sacred passion;
Lord Jesus heal me.
By the wood of Your holy cross;
Lord Jesus strengthen me.
By the sorrow of You Blessed Mother;
Lord Jesus comfort me.
By Your dying and by Your rising,
give me new life.....

"I thirst" John 19:28

From the wood of a cross sanctified by His blood, God's own Son expresses the purpose of His becomming man. Jesus, one like us in all things except sin,thirsts for the souls of those he came to save. That is, every person on earth, beginning with Adam. Jesus wants to love us, and wants us to love Him in return. So he thirsts. That thirst that Jesus experiences at his death endures throughout the ages. This last word of Jesus provides a first word for every Christian. No one should begin the day without remembering before all else that Jesus thirsts for his or her soul." We love Him because he first loved us." 1jn 4:19. The priority of the Divine Initiative takes on human expression in the words of a thirsty dying man.

"We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You. Because by Your Holy Cross, You have redeemed the world!" St Alphonse Liguori

"Father,forgive them for they know not what they do" Luke 23:34

Only God can forgive sins. We hear the primordial prayer of Christian forgivness from the lips of the crucified Saviour of the world. This word creates an expectation. Now, every human being is called to fufill the command of Jesus:"But to you who hear I say, love your enemies, do good the those that hate you..."Luke 6:27 The only alternative to forgiveness is destruction: the end of oneself and of the other. Everyday occurances throughout the world bear startling testimony to what happens when brother remains set unforgivingly against brother. To forgive every offense characterizes the saint. We can take the first step toward this holiness by loving the heavenly Father, who makes His sun rise on the bad and the good and who causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust...

"We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You. Because by Your Holy Cross, You have redeemed the world!" St Alphonse Liguori

"Amen,I say to you, Today you shall be with me in Paradise" Luke 23:43

The "today" that Jesus addresses to the repentant criminal, whom we know as the Good Thief, belongs to every age. Whenever a person turns to Jesus, and says with love "Jesus, remember me..."(Lk23:42) he or she begins a new "today" Jesus so much wants to be with him in Paradise that he confides to His followers a ministry of forgiveness. "When we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1john 1:9)We are reconciled to the company of those who await with hopefull confidence the reward of Paradise. No one knows what were the sins that the Good Thief committed. No one should care. All that matters in life is that we discover our own "today" of divine forgiveness..

"We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You. Because by Your Holy Cross, You have redeemed the world!" St Alphonse Liguori


"Woman,behold your son,...behold your mother..." John 19:26-27


"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." (john 14:18) From the cross, Jesus fufills the promise that he made at the Last Supper to his disciples. He confides his mother, Mary to the care of the Beloved Disciple, John. John in turn takes her into his home. This word that Jesus speaks form the cross announces Mary's unique role. As she receives John so she embraces each of us. We become in the order of grace her own beloved sons and daughters. For if God is our spiritual Father and Jesus is our spiritual brother, then it follows to reason that Mary is our spiritual mother. And as she sits among the "great cloud of witnesses" (Hb 12:1)near to the throne of God that we have both and earthly and spiritual mother that embraces us both now and in the world to come...

"We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You. Because by Your Holy Cross, You have redeemed the world!" St Alphonse Liguori


"My God My God, Why have You forsaken Me?" Mark 15:34

"We have been made sharers in the divinity of Christ who humbled himself to share our humanity" (CCC526) Intense suffereings accompany Jesus' acceptance of the redemptive will of His Heavenly Father. These sufferings include the human cry of abandonment that cystallizes Jesus' accptance of his death as redemptive. "My Father, if it is not possible that this cup pass without my drinking it, Your will be done!"(Mt 26:42) the cry of abandonment from the cross expresses a human sentiment that jesus felt but not a reasoned conviction that he held. Like everything that the Son of God did or said, he uttered those words for our sakes. Jesus wants us to believe that whatever dark sentiments may envelope our hearts and minds, "nothing can separate us from the love of God"( Rom 8:39)

"We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You. Because by Your Holy Cross, You have redeemed the world!" St Alphonse Liguori


"Father, into Your hands I commend My Spirit Luke 23:46

Loving communionwith the Blessed Trinity is the destiny to which each creature made in the Divine Image is called. Those on earth who receive, with faith and baptism, the Gospel of Christ accept this word as a prayer to make their own. Each circumstance of life requires on the part of the human person an act of submission to God's will. This personal surrender is santifying only when joined to the cry of God's Son. the Savior of the world points humanity toward our true end. Those who commend themselves to God in union with Jesus share in his own acts of love and obedience. Then they begin to understand the mystery:"Amen I say to you unless you repent and becomes like children you will not enter the kingdom of heaven" (Mt 18:3)

"We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You. Because by Your Holy Cross, You have redeemed the world!" St Alphonse Liguori

"It is finished..." John 19:30

What is finished? Jesus announces that the once and for all scrifice for our sins has been completed. This sacrifice of forgiveness ans reconcilliation is a gift.It comes from both The Father, Who so loved the world that He sent His only begotton Son, and from The Son of God, Who so loved us that He offered His life in reparation for our disobedience. This final word that Jesus spoke from the cross captures the love and obedience whic He enacted throughout His whole life. Death marks the final moment of Jesus' obedience. Death however does not bring His love to an end. The risen and exalted Savior continues to love us. "For you have died and your life is hidden with Crhist in God. When Christ you life apperes, then you too will appear with Him in glory" Col 3:3-4

By the wounds of Your sacred passion;
Lord Jesus heal me.
By the wood of Your holy cross;
Lord Jesus strengthen me.
By the sorrow of You Blessed Mother;
Lord Jesus comfort me.
By Your dying and by Your rising,
give me new life..... unknown author


Meditations based on the Writings of Fr Francis Cessario OP

Labels: Faith, Little Portion, Prayers, scripture

March 14, 2007

Doing It for Me

Glorious Sunset Near Rogers Arkansas...

Then Job answered the Lord and said:

Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
I have spoken once, and I will not answer;
twice, but I will proceed no further.
Job 40:3-5



I feel badly that my writing has been so banal for the last few months, but I have been sort of wordless... I find myself sitting and thinking quite a bit, mulling over ideas and issues. There have been some pretty profound things that have happened to me in the past three months. Some are pretty ordinary but have long term effect on my life.

I have been involved with a number of projects since the first of the year, some I didnt feel comfortable discussing on my blog, some I didnt know how to discuss on the blog for want of words. But I am going to be involved for a long time and at times its going to be somewhat engrossing.

I developed a three fold plan. One was clearing my debt, two start working on my physical self and three, continue to explore my spiritual life, and not be content with the way things are presently, in a not very challenging state of blah!! All of this change came in the midst of a soul searching day I spent trying to lay to rest a lot of the stuff that was weighing so heavily on me. I do believe that I thrive in the midst of a project, so I created one for myself.

After Christmas I took financial stock and realized that yes I had quite a bit in the bank, but in the course of a year had gone on the hook for nearly 20,000.00 in debt that I am soley responsible for. Woody has gotten into a habit of getting me to buy things commit to things and spend my future...cause that is what he has done for himself. Everything from buying the van...my old one was fine really to buying timeshare on ebay using my sign on and then wanting me to pay for it. So I put my foot down, have drained my savings and spent hard earned account bonus (nearly 10 percent of my gross pay from last year.. it was a chunk) and committed to no spending for anything other than necessary stuff and that had to be thought out, and the pay off of all of my personal debt. All credit cards, lines of credit, and all but the remodel on the HELOC, and my car loan...and it will be done by Divine Mercy Sunday April 15. The HELOC is also my responsibility but surprise! I will be using household money to pay that off... I am nearly done as feel really freed up

I realized that I was kidding myself about my weight. I found myself putting on more weight and desided that I needed to do something. After Woody had his near miss with the heart attack and I had a really bad report from the sleep Doctor, I knew that denial was no longer an option. After prayer, and preparation, I began Nutrisystems eating program. I am also going to the gym three times a week. I wont be writing about the progress much here but on a blog that I set up for this Its All About The Journey. I am doing ok, miss "real" food and find staying on program rough. But its working I do feel better and there is visible improvement due to the working out. Woody is verbally supportive but I find myself looking at him and wondering what our lives will be like 100 pounds from now. I was a gym rat in my former life and...well...I dont need to elaborate, but I work out and know how this will turn out if I let it and it makes me sad and angry and scared all at the same time...

I realized when I got the email from Little Portionthat this was the opportunity of a lifetime, to sit and learn from a Christian Musician that I have admired much of my life. I signed up for not one but three retreats being conducted by John Michael Talbot and two others one on using your creative gifts for God and another a silent retreat focused on prayer. I went to my first retreat and was dumbstruck at what I learned about myself. I have spent two weeks pondering the wisdom gleaned, and the new friendship that I was blessed with.


The debt is gone and the weight is comming off and both of these things make me feel better, both phsycally and mentally, The retreat showed me that God is about to do a big thing in my life and I need to get ready. Most of all, I have finally come to the pplace where I realized that there has always been a dual path and that Woody and I have never traveled together and only now am I accepting this and really choosing to feel it. We live in ajoining alternate universes and that is so sad. I dont know how long this reality will continue but I am going to be changing and with him or without him I am going forward and doing life for me...

Labels: John Michael Talbot, Little Portion, Prayers, Woody

February 21, 2007

An Ash Wednsday Prayer

Sunset over the Ozarks Holiday Island Arkansas

A Prayer Of Confession

O,God change us
until it doen't hurt anymore
Take us to a secret place where,
untouched by the enemy
we might absorb
the solace of your words,
spoken to all:
"If God be for us,
Who can stand against us?"

Our hearts are weary,
bombarded by the criticism
of the cynical people and
the pressures to perform
as well as the state
of the world around us
Too often
We have allowed
such trivial things
to overwelm us


Release us,
nourish our souls
with Your songs of hope
and love
Take us, remake us
within the essence
of your Spirit
freely breathed out upon us

May the renewal that
the fresh wind of Your Spirit
provide enable us
to accomplish
all that You desire
that all honor
glory and praise be Yours

Labels: Poem, Prayers