Short Bio~Hokule'a Kealoha is the Nom De Plume of a writer that formerly lived in Hawaii and is now living a life of adventure on the highways and byways of the American South . I am a Born Again follower of Jesus, as well as a wife, mother of cats and dogs,jeweler, entreprenuer, photographer and pilgrim...
Age~ Old enough to know better
Status~ Newly Single after 13 years of marriage,fur mom to the loving and devoted mini ShihTzu doggie Annabelle, born 6-11-2007 RIP 2-25-09, and the beautiful Abigail born 2-14-09
Hair Color~ natural brown/grey
Mood~ I ALWAYS have a mood, try me...
Loving~ Jesus, Hawaii, my furry friend, Abigail, my Pen Pals, Jewelry ,Blogging ,Writing anything,my Ipod,and being outdoors surrounded by my wonderful natural surroundings
Belief and New Birth~ A Reading for my Spiritual Birthday
Salt Grass at Noon Cape San Blas FL
God,whose goodness is not exhausted, whose mercy is not emptied out whose knowledge does not fail whose power can effect what You will: Whence shall I ever be able to get back life who have thus been driven desparate by my sins? For if you are angry against sinners, at least kind Lord, you are accoustomed to give counsel to those who plead with you Teach me O Lord, Whence I ought to hope so that I can pray For I long to pray to you but I neither know how because of my ignorance nor am I able to because of my hardness And I am forbidden to do it by dispair because of my sins
I seek for something that will excuse me and there is nothingthat does not accuse me I seek for someone who will pray for me and I find whatever exists is against me I seek for someone to have mercy upon a wretch and all that has being opposes the wretch
Jesus Good Lord Why did you come down from heaven, What did you do in the world to what end did you give yourself over to death unless it was that you might save sinners?
Saint Paul what did you teach? when you were passing through this world? God and his apostles and you most of all invite us sinners to faith you show us this as our only safe refuge How then should I not hope if I believe this and ask in faith How can this hope be frustrated in me if that faith does not fail me from which it was born?
John said to him, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.”But Jesus said, “Do not stop him, for no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me.For the one who is not against us is for us.For truly, I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward.
“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea. And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell,‘where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.’For everyone will be salted with fire. Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.”
The very God who seems to be tormenting us is the one who truly loves us, the one we can trust without reserve. The deeper we go into the dark night of the uncomprehended God and trust in him, the more we will discover him and will find the freedom and love that will carry us through any and every dark night.” Ratzinger (Pope Benedict XVI), God is Near Us, p.47
There have been many Dark nights in the six years since My Wide Blue Seas was born... First conceived as a rant blog against the huge issues we struggled against as Woody and I tried to cope with the culture, customs and predudices of our life in Hawaii. MWBS evolved into a personal/news blog then as we made the crossing to the Mainland, it changed again to a personal journal.
It has been a huge wonderful vehicle for self expression. I have made many new friends, and gained a wider perspective on the world and learned a lot about many things...The numbers dont matter much but I still think its amazing that nearly 80,000 people have stopped by, that I have written more than 1500 posts, intersected with countless lives...I am awed and amazed. Thanks for stopping by, for reading my posts and posting your kind comments. You bless my life continually
The light on the hill, St Stephen's Catholic Church, Bentonville AR
I love this group... Third Day was the sound track for my time in Louisville, seems like they are the local fave band and I know they do get a lot of airplay on the local Christian Top 40 stations... Daily as I have trudged uphill inwardly through all of this I hear this song in my ears... A MWBS first, my first YouTube embed
Well, I know that there are some of you that wondered what happened to me, trust me I was wondering if I would be able to get back to blogging. I guess I had just run out of things to say. I also frankly have begun to feel like there are lurkers that check in on my life this way but dont take the time to pick up the phone and talk to me... The silence encouraged contact...for those of you that didnt call that have my number... dont bother...
I am well. I actually have two posts started on the two incredible jobs I have had since Labor Day, and rather than write about them now I will save them for another day.
My silence started three weeks ago when I realized that I had come to an end... I had no money, I had run out of food, Abi was sick, my utilities were going to be turned off, my insurance was canceled I had no prospects for anything. I froze up, and found that I couldnt face the world, with my Jesus smile on my face... I couldnt fathom what I was going to do or what I should do... so I stayed home suddenly on a Sunday morning, stayed in my jammies with the doggie and prayed, read the Word and leaned on God, asking God to give me the strength to face whatever it was I needed to face. The future looked really bad...
I know the truth, the God takes care of us. We are required to meet Him where He wants to meet us, that is not necessarily half way, sometimes it is 1/100 th of the way, but we need to do whatever it is that He wants us to do. I didnt know what that was until the next day. I was walking in the rain working on finding leads for my insurance work. I was lightly dressed and had a jacket on and I felt like I did 30 years ago... before I was married to the Engineer...when I walked aimlessly in West LA with my gay friends through some pretty mean streets. Hopeless and pretty lost feeling... flash forward I was hungry and cold and wondering if this was my future... There are a lot Believers living that way right now...OK God I thought I can do this if I must, as long as You are with me...
I received a phone call about an hour later from a friend asking me to do him a favor... as it turned out it was going to cost money... Not a lot of money, not enough to even register in this person's mind that "Hey, maybe she cant afford to do this for me..." But I didnt have two bucks of change left in my ashtray to get a burger...but at that point I said nothing, I waited and got the object he wanted mailed to his friend ready to mail off... When evening came, I told him via email that I hadnt the money for the project...and my phone rang...how much did I need...and please tell him what the situation really was like... which I did. He gently told me that I would receive and envelope from a mutual friend at a small group meeting we both attended the next day and I was to use what I needed to mail off the package and put the rest in my gas tank... The envelope was discreetly passed to me the next morning and there was just enough to pay UPS for the package and fill up my van with much needed gas...
In the same way I heard from a friend at church who is in management there, she was concerned that I was sick with no one to look after me... Well I told her the truth...that I just couldnt face it anymore... I am battle weary and worn out, and needed a day to just stop... She said that she didnt know how I had managed to stand up and face my situation day in and day out the way I have... and stay sane... I told her that sanity is debatable but I am still here, but... I was really in trouble and not sure what to do next. I told her my situation...There are services that can help me but they are very limited, and families are served first because the limited amount of aid goes to help more people. I shared with her that I swore I would never ask the church for help, but I didnt have anyone else to ask, my family has impossible conditions for me to meet, I have been unsuccessful in getting any sort of public assistance...
So the church got my power,phone water and car insurance caught up. I also have done some clean up work for several events held there that has brought in much needed income, that helped me pay the rent. They provided a gift card for a local market. Another friend sent me 100.00, which I have used to keep my van filled with gas. I received a bag of food for Abi...how did they know I was out of food for her? A Food Package was purchased in my name and given to me last week, things feel a bit easier..
Humbling myself before the church seems to be a key that has unlocked a huge door. I got two weeks work at a local water company... payment posting mostly but a wonderful small office with down to earth people that were just plain encouraging to be around day in and out. Then out of the the clear blue sky, a man with a local consulting firm called me. He had a 10 week plus assignment with Wal Mart.com, in fraud prevention. I have fininshed my first week and feel like this may be it, the permanant job I have been praying for. I feel very at home here and while this is very entry level and the pay reflects that, I know that God has guided me into this, and He will provide, I need to just trust Him and do my very best every day. There is the possibility they will need me after the Holidays, or that I will be able to get into another department. Walmart is not hiring here in the Home Office just now but seasonal work often leads into full time if there are openings...
Another tunnel that seems to have a light is my quest to join the Catholic Church. I had two horrid weeks at St Bernards, in their RCIA. These folks mean well but are not educated, and were not gifted in the teaching dept. It was about as interesting as watching grass grow... So a friend invited me to her church in Bentonville. They have a new priest who is a delightful man, very learned and teaches the classes himself. He is willing to work with me.. do anything needed to facilitate my entrance into the Church, and is very supportive of my continuing to minister at FUMCBV..."after all" Msgr Scott said..."its not a big leap, is it?" No its not... especially with St Stephens being what can only be described as very Contemporary with Praise and Worship music in the services, a crucifix with Jesus alive and in a posture of worship, arms raised, and a "read your Bible and witness to others" message at the Eucharist... Are we in a Baptist Church or what? Seriously, I sense a warmth of spirit and a potential for fellowship that hasnt been present before.. This is also a younger church full of young families and single people... who knows maybe I will meet Mr. Wonderful there... we never know... I just know that I have found a home there and perhaps this is the start of something big in my life...
And so there is a bit of light. I am not holding my breath, but walking forward in hope One Day at a Time, keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus the souce of my faith and provision..
The Tower at Twilight StStephen's Church Bentonville AR
How Green is my Valley, Little Portion Retreat Center, Berryville, AR
Psalm 31
O Lord, I have come to you for protection; don't let me be put to shame. Rescue me, for you always do what is right.
Bend down and listen to me; rescue me quickly. Be for me a great rock of safety, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.
You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this peril.
Pull me from the trap my enemies set for me, for I find protection in you alone.
I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me, Lord, for you are a faithful God.
I hate those who worship worthless idols. I trust in the Lord.
I am overcome with joy because of your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul.
You have not handed me over to my enemy but have set me in a safe place.
Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am in distress. My sight is blurred because of my tears. My body and soul are withering away.
I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness. Misery has drained my strength; I am wasting away from within.
I am scorned by all my enemies and despised by my neighbors- even my friends are afraid to come near me. When they see me on the street, they turn the other way.
I have been ignored as if I were dead, as if I were a broken pot.
I have heard the many rumors about me, and I am surrounded by terror. My enemies conspire against me, plotting to take my life.
But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, "You are my God!"
My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.
Let your favor shine on your servant. In your unfailing love, save me.
Don't let me be disgraced, O Lord, for I call out to you for help. Let the wicked be disgraced; let them lie silent in the grave.
May their lying lips be silenced- those proud and arrogant lips that accuse the godly.
Your goodness is so great! You have stored up great blessings for those who honor you. You have done so much for those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world.
You hide them in the shelter of your presence, safe from those who conspire against them. You shelter them in your presence, far from accusing tongues.
Praise the Lord, for he has shown me his unfailing love. He kept me safe when my city was under attack.
In sudden fear I had cried out, "I have been cut off from the Lord!" But you heard my cry for mercy and answered my call for help.
Love the Lord, all you faithful ones! For the Lord protects those who are loyal to him, but he harshly punishes all who are arrogant.
So be strong and take courage, all you who put your hope in the Lord!
My Lord God.. I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing . I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone...
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