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My Wide Blue Seas

Its All About The Journey


Name~ Hokule'a Kealoha

Short Bio~Hokule'a Kealoha is the Nom De Plume of a writer that formerly lived in Hawaii and is now living a life of adventure on the highways and byways of the American South . I am a Born Again follower of Jesus, as well as a wife, mother of cats and dogs,jeweler, entreprenuer, photographer and pilgrim...

Age~ Old enough to know better

Status~ Newly Single after 13 years of marriage,fur mom to the loving and devoted mini ShihTzu doggie Annabelle, born 6-11-2007 RIP 2-25-09, and the beautiful Abigail born 2-14-09

Hair Color~ natural brown/grey

Mood~ I ALWAYS have a mood, try me...

Loving~ Jesus, Hawaii, my furry friend, Abigail, my Pen Pals, Jewelry ,Blogging ,Writing anything,my Ipod,and being outdoors surrounded by my wonderful natural surroundings

Hating~ Boom Box Cars, Earspray, Abuse of Power,

  • Bible

  • Magnificat

  • Link

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  • Underwired! Louisville's magazine for Women

  • In Store~The Magazine for the American Jeweler

  • Books in Progress...

  • "Link"

  • "Link"

  • Just Finished Reading

  • "Link"

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  • Jesus, Divine Mercy ~
    Learn About The Divine Mercy
    I Trust In You~

    My Favorite Past Posts~Relive The Journey!~
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  • 2008~
  • Be Thankful

  • Colateral Damage

  • Make Lemonade

  • Home Is Where The Heart Is

  • The Poor With Us

  • Because Its The Hardest Thing I Can Do

  • We Have All Become Victims

  • Lest I Forget

  • The Most Important Words

  • Family Values

  • Familiar Places

  • May Perpetual Light Shine On Them

  • A City In Motion

  • 2007~
  • The Quiet Storm

  • Fellowship of the Cane

  • Like Dead Unremembered: A 9-11 Tribute

  • The Medicine Machine

  • One Giant Leap

  • In The Steps of St. Francis

  • Too Much Information

  • The Un Choice

  • 2006~
  • The Holly and the Ivy

  • The First 9-11, Dec 7,1941

  • Small Moments of Silence

  • Peaches to Winnipeg

  • Dreaming of Hawaii

  • Memorial Day

  • Scattered Values

  • The White Line is the Lifeline for the Nation

  • Warnings of a New Civil War

  • I Will Be True To The Promise I Have Made

  • The Snowy Bloody Day

  • Cats in the Cradle

  • 2005~
  • The Journey

  • Rebirth of a City

  • For Posterity's Sake

  • The New Civil War

  • Every Mother's Son

  • And There You Stayed, Temporarily Lost at Sea

  • The Lone Rider

  • The Bible Is Not the Fourth Member of the Trinity

  • Rome Wasn't Built With Union Labor

  • Happy Birthday Mom ~revised~

  • A Beautiful Noise

  • Even Now

  • The Wearing of the Red

  • Night Ranger

  • The Joyful Traveler

  • Hoiliili "To Gather Up"

  • Ke Makakilo (My Observations)

  • He Giveth Sleep

  • Save The Children

  • 2004~
  • Lux Aeterna

  • December 2004

  • You're Joking, Right?

  • Ground Zero

  • I Am Not A Failure

  • O,To Grace, How Great A Debtor

  • Lost In Translation

  • One Small Step for Man

  • The Rainbow's End

  • Profanity

  • Taps

  • The Journey

  • Makoa's Song

  • No Aloha For The Weakest

  • The Paradoxical Comandments

  • The Time Is Now

  • 2003~
  • When No Fruit Is On The Vine

  • Photobucket
    St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
    St. Edith Stein~Pray for Us

    Religion Link List~

  • My Secret is Mine

  • Ignatius Insight-Online Magazine

  • Fr John Corapi SOLT

  • Dr. Scott Hahn St Paul Center

  • Fr. Mitch Pacwa~ Ignatius Productions

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  • Political Link List~
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  • Arkansas Link List~
  • Little Portion Hermitage

  • John Michael Talbot website

  • John Michael Talbot Myspace page

  • 1st United Methodist Church Bella Vista

  • Northwest Arkansas Guide

  • Mimi's Cafe

  • Metro Woman Business Directory of NW Arkansas

  • River Grille

  • Link

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  • Interactive Links~

    Live WebCam Feed from the Mauna Lani Resort, Kohalla, Big Island of Hawaii

    Click here for Aloha Joe!Live Hawaiian Music 24/7

    St Damein of Molokai'i,Patron Saint of Hawaii, Pray for us

    St. Damien of Molokai'i, Patron of Hawaii and the Outcasts among us, pray for us....

    Hawaii Links~ ~
  • For more Hawaii links Click Here

  • Volcano Updates (Pele's Mood Meter)Hawaii Volcano Observatory

  • Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

  • Volcano Watch Archives

  • Mauna Kea Observatory

  • Pacific Tsunami Museum

  • Link

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  • Technorotica for Blogging~

    Blogarama - The Blog Directory

    Listed on BlogShares

    Christianity Blog Directory

  • Who Links Here...Click here to see who's linking to this site. Powered by WhoLinksToMe.com

  • Globe of Blogs~Blog search engine

  • The Blog Search Engine

  • stock xchng

  • Photobucket

  • BlogSkins

  • Link

  • Wikipedia

  • Nuzio's Place on the Web

  • Commutefaster.com

  • PING ME!

  • MWBS Wordpress Edition

  • Link

  • Technorotica for Jewelers, and the Jewelry Trade~

  • Gemological Institute of America

  • The Drouhard National Jewelers School

  • The Conner School

  • Link

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  • May 31, 2007

    Proverbs 3:1-12 ~Trust in the Lord

    War Eagle Farms War Eagle AR

    Trust in the Lord with All Your Heart

    My son, do not forget my teaching,
    but let your heart keep my commandments,
    for length of days and years of life
    and peace they will add to you.

    Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
    bind them around your neck;
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
    So you will find favor and good success
    in the sight of God and man.

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
    In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.
    Be not wise in your own eyes;
    fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
    It will be healing to your flesh
    and refreshment to your bones.

    Honor the Lord with your wealth
    and with the firstfruits of all your produce;
    then your barns will be filled with plenty,
    and your vats will be bursting with wine.

    My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline
    or be weary of his reproof,
    for the Lord reproves him whom he loves,
    as a father the son in whom he delights.

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    May 28, 2007

    A Prayer for Our Military~A Memorial Day Tribute

    The flag being raised once flew over Omaha Beach, Normandy France, and flew over the company HQ in Iraqphoto courtesy of The Patriette

    Dear Heavenly Father

    As we remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom, we think of how they have followed in the footsteps of Your Son,our Saviour,Jesus Christ. Please hold our service men and women in your strong arms. Cover them with Your sheltering grace and presence as they stand in the gap for our protection. We also remember the families of our troops and ask for your unique blessings to fill their homes with your peace, provision and strength to fill their lives. May the members of our armed forces be filled with courage to face each day, and may they trust in The Lord's mighty power to accomplish each task.

    On Patrol:PFC Janelle ZalkovskyPhoto courtesy of Winds Of Change

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    May 27, 2007

    John 14 ~ The Hope of Heaven and the Promise of the Spirit

    The breaking of the Dawn over Tanyard Creek Bella Vista AR

    I Am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life

    Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.And you know the way to where I am going. Thomas said to him, Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way? Jesus said to him,
    I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.

    Philip said to him, Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.Jesus said to him, Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, Show us the Father? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own authority, but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, or else believe on account of the works themselves.

    Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

    Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit

    If you love me, you will keep my commandments.And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever,even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.

    I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him. Judas (not Iscariot) said to him, Lord, how is it that you will manifest yourself to us, and not to the world? Jesus answered him, If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. Whoever does not love me does not keep my words. And the word that you hear is not mine but the Father's who sent me.

    These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.You heard me say to you, I am going away, and I will come to you. If you loved me, you would have rejoiced, because I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I.And now I have told you before it takes place, so that when it does take place you may believe.I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming. He has no claim on me,but I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father. Rise, let us go from here.


    May 25, 2007

    Traveling While Sitting Still

    The Road Less Traveled, hwy 264 w near Cave Springs Arkansas

    I am on a journey. I cant tell you all of the details now, because there are those reading this blog that might take this information wrong. I have been as transparent as pool water for the last four years and it pains me to have to couch my words for fear that certain people involved in my and Woody's life will take it wrong... and use it against me.

    Let the reader understand... I love Woody and would do anything to make things work out, but I am no longer willing to sacrifice my life and well being to the situation. God is doing a great work of strengthening me and encouraging me to be humble and compassionate, but firm as far as this goes. There needs to be change of hearts on both of our parts...

    Woody is comming home on Monday. I have told him that things will be different. Nothing is static and as two people live their lives, they grow and change. The last two weeks and the time I have had to think about everything has changed me. He may or may not like the changes. Thats ok...

    I think I know what I want, but am not sure what God wants... so I am taking the advice of the Psalmist in Psalm 46 "Be still and know that I am God..." I choose to be quiet and not do anything until I am sure that I am doing what God would have me to do.

    Until then, I will continue on The Journey. I am still losing weight, and the night shift continues to be a great change for me. I am off to the second of three retreats with John Michael Talbot next weekend, so looking forward to that. I am connecting up with old and new friends and find that this is the best change of all.

    There is nothing like taking a trip, while sitting still...

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    May 20, 2007

    Psalm 111~Fear Of The Lord Is The Begining of Wisdom

    Quiet Stream Wyndam Ocean Ridge Edisto Island SC

    Psalm 1111

    Praise the Lord!
    I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart,
    in the company of the upright, in the congregation.

    Great are the works of the Lord,
    studied by all who delight in them.

    Full of splendor and majesty is his work,
    and his righteousness endures forever.

    He has caused his wondrous works to be remembered;
    the Lord is gracious and merciful.

    He provides food for those who fear him;
    he remembers his covenant forever.

    He has shown his people the power of his works,
    in giving them the inheritance of the nations.

    The works of his hands are faithful and just;
    all his precepts are trustworthy;

    they are established forever and ever,
    to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness.

    He sent redemption to his people;
    he has commanded his covenant forever.
    Holy and awesome is his name!

    The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
    all those who practice it have a good understanding.
    His praise endures forever!

    May 18, 2007

    In the Green Room Of Silence

    Walking out of the tree tunnel, Lake Bella Vista, Bella Vista AR

    I was sitting in the park like "circle" in front of the house this morning, surrounded by oak trees that have finally and vigorusly leafed out and produced a canopy of bright green leaves that rustle at ever puff of breeze that drifts by. There is a deep quiet on the street, I can hear talking in the distance but it is so far away that I cant make out the words...I take a deep breath and smell the smell of clean air...

    Woody sure as heck cant do that in LA...

    I took a walk today just before comming into work. I walked the mile and a quarter around Lake Bella Vista on the lovely walking trail. I felt really good and wanted to just spend as much time as I could outside. The world around me is a bright green. There are streams that feed the lake to cross over...on one of the bridges a little boy maybe four or five came running up to me and chirpped in a delightful British accent..."Lady, Lady, what sort of fish is that in your river?" and he practically dragged me to the rail of the bridge. His young mother appologizing profusely, was trying to keep her toddler in the stroller and he kept trying to climb out for a better look at his brother's amazing sighting...and it was amazing a huge blue catfish was swimming out from under the bridge and back again, his long barbels dragging up mud as he looked for food. We had a great time and Mum was as grateful as I was to get out into the sun shine...

    I am now at work alone having the entire huge floor to myself. I am absorbed in the silence only a computer harddrive is whining and the end of the row...Earlier I watched the brilliant sunset from the windows facing west...I am told that a building is goiong to be built that will block this view... I havent seen any staking, so I dont know. I hope not. But for now I have that every evening to lookforward to... just as I looked forward to the sunrises every morning when I drove to work for the day shift

    I am now ending my second week tonight on the 4 pm to 1 am shift. I am doing very well. I find that I am getting plenty of sleep, waking before the alarm that I have set just in case I dont wake up on my own...this morning it was Mak and Nani fighting... Nani howls like a woman being murdered...nobody could sleep through that. Last night I had to shut the furry darlings out. With Woody gone Mak doesnt care if he sleeps on our bed or not... but they play in the bedroom thinking that I am up so I must want to play too. Noooo bed is all I want and maybe a little snack...

    My work is light right now... The account hasnt officially started up, they do have some freight flowing through so that we can set things up, and train our people. All of the people have been hired and trained in advance... We are the largest account in the building and will eventually have all 42 of this beverage container company's manufacturing plants shipping under our wing. Its a daunting prospect as over two Billion containers not just soda pop cans but juice cans and those plastic bottles for yougurt drinks and such out of one plant alone. All of those empties have to go somewhere to be filled... its huge. We are just the first wave of people and fortunatly the plants are comming on slowly so we wont have all of the volume for a long while...

    Soon I wont be the only night person, but that will be ok, There will be so much to do that I will need help. Right now I spend a lot of time just waiting for the phone to ring but there will one day be loads to track and questions to answer. I am available to give direction and to problem solve. I dont mind the slowness. I listen to my Ipod, without headphones because there is no one around to care...though my boss was here and I put Fernando Ortega on and he liked that a lot. Soothing piano and his vocals are like the Holy Spirit whispering in your ear...

    I make calls on loads picking up and delivering on my shift. like tonight I am usually done by 8 pm I then turn teaching on until time to go home. I am getting about 4-5 hours a day of Bible teaching which I love...

    I am dealing with this thing with Woody. I have heard from a number of you, and thanks for that. I know that he needs a talking to at the very least and there needs to be changes. I havent yet decided what I want to do. I dont want the things that have been going on and I am weary of Woody's issues. As I sit alone here I feel like the page has turned and nothing will ever be the same again. He thinks that all is well but not in my heart... I cant forget this, and can hardly forgive but I will because God wills that but the accounting will come one day.

    The Green Room is the room where people are prepared before they go on the stage or the radio. I feel like I am in the Green Room... being prepared for something, perhaps I have been in the Green Room and I am leaving it. I know that I feel very close to God and know that things are happening behind the scenes. God willing I will be ready for whatever happens to me....in the mean time I will enjoy the quiet

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    May 16, 2007

    Places You Want To See Before You Die~ A Meme

    The Cliffs of Waipio, Big Island of Hawaii one of the most photographed spots in the Hawaiian Islands, the steep clifts have a lacework of beautiful waterfalls that pour into the sea from thousands of feet above

    I found this meme on a blog that I discovered only recently called Attaversiamo The lady who writes this wonderful blog has taken many life changing journeys, and had this travel Meme on her front page

    Soo do you have a list of places that you want to see before you die? I do. If its bold faced I have been there and done that, if it is in Italicsits on my dream list

    Times Square, New York City, NY
    National Mall & Memorial Parks, Washington, D.C. (Washington Monument, Lincoln and Jefferson Memorials, the war memorials)

    Disney World’s Magic Kingdom, Lake Buena Vista, Fla.
    Trafalgar Square, London, England
    Disneyland Park, Anaheim, Calif.
    Niagara Falls, Ontario and New York
    Fisherman’s Wharf/Golden Gate National Recreation Area, San Francisco, Calif.
    Tokyo Disneyland/DisneySea, Tokyo, Japan
    Notre Dame de Paris, Paris, France
    Disneyland Paris, Marne-La-Vallee, France
    The Great Wall of China, Badaling area, China
    The Great Smoky Mountain National Park, Tennessee/North Carolina (side note this area is on the radar for next years spring trip)
    Universal Studios Japan, Osaka, Japan
    Basilique du Sacré-Coeur de Montmartre, Paris, France
    Musée du Louvre, Paris, France

    Everland (amusement park), Kyonggi-Do, South Korea
    The Forbidden City/Tiananmen Square, Beijing, China
    Eiffel Tower, Paris, France

    Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure at Universal Orlando, Fla
    SeaWorld Florida, Orlando, Fla
    Pleasure Beach (amusement park), Blackpool, England
    Lotte World (amusement park), Seoul, South Korea (Note: How tired am I? I thought this said "Latte World" and got all excited and was going to italicize it)
    Yokohama Hakkeijima Sea Paradise, Japan
    Hong Kong Disneyland, China
    Centre Pompidou, Paris, France
    Tate Modern, London, England
    British Museum, London, England

    Universal Studios Los Angeles, Calif (went there on a very bad blind date)
    National Gallery, London, England
    Metropolitan Museum, New York, NY
    Grand Canyon, Ariz.

    Tivoli Gardens (amusement park), Copenhagen, Denmark
    Ocean Park (amusement park), Hong Kong, China
    Busch Gardens (amusement park), Tampa Bay, Fla.
    SeaWorld California, San Diego, Calif.
    Statue of Liberty, New York, NY

    The Vatican and its museums, Rome, Italy
    Sydney Opera House, Sydney, Australia
    The Coliseum, Rome, Italy

    American Museum of Natural History, New York, NY
    Grauman’s Chinese Theater, Hollywood, Calif.
    Empire State Building, New York, NY

    Natural History Museum, London, England
    The London Eye, London, England
    Palace of Versailles, France

    Yosemite National Park, Calif.
    Pyramids of Giza, Egypt
    Pompeii, Italy
    Hermitage Museum, St. Petersburg, Russia
    Taj Mahal, Agra, India

    Angel Falls, Venezuela
    Pyramid Kukulcan in Chichen Itza, Yucatan Mexico
    Temple of the Descending God in Tulum, Quintana Roo Mexico
    Dunns River Falls in Ocho Rios, Jamaica
    Star Trek: The Experience, Las Vegas, NV
    Space Needle Seattle, WA
    Machu Pichu, Peru
    Amber Palace in Jaipur, India
    The Smithsonian in Washington DC
    The Galapagos Islands
    Butchart Gardens, Victoria BC Canada
    Stonehenge, Wiltshire England

    Mt. St. Helens, Washington, USA
    The Great Ocean Road, Australia
    The Speicherstadt and Alster Lake, Hamburg, Germany

    I would add to the list
    Places I have been, that I think people should see
    The Hawaiian Islands
    Gettysburg...every American should see it

    Places I want to see
    to take a round the world cruise

    So tell us where you want to go and link back here!

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    May 15, 2007

    On Running Away

    Bridges Lilioukalani Park Hilo Hawaii. I dream of Hilo often, and wake up so desolate of spirit. I want to go back now and stay for a while...maybe I can run away...

    Woody calls me at work tonight...

    "Im sorry, I got in so late I didnt know where to call you, I was really busy and I was getting all settled in. Hey Im here with Ed and Helen and we are at Loucile's and having a great time... say hi to Ed...."

    I talk to Ed and its like I am sitting there in Long Beach at this the home of my...MY...good friend. We talk and Woody takes the cel phone back and goes outside for better reception...

    "So" I ask "are you comming home?"

    "Yeah, on the 28th, I told you that... Hey I need to tell you about the cool car I rented..."

    And on and on it went. I sat here in my desk at work, alone facing the nightshift and the late night...the installation of a new garage opener, then electrical work the next day and so on and so on, all of this requires me to give up part of my limited sleep time each day to get these very important things done, things that if he were here he could do... I listen to him describe his private vacation...seething, wanting to scream.

    In all of my days painful homesickness, grief over my mother, abuse at the hands of my employer, lonliness, I never gave in to my desire to run away, to chuck it all and catch a flight to my Hawaii or any other point between. I gave up Hawaii, moved to this place I had never been to, took a demanding job FOR HIM. To help meet HIS NEEDS. His response has been to be a bum and to not take personal respnsibility for his family, and to with due diligence look for gainful employment and to be productive.

    I have to face the questions of the well meaning neighbors. I will be sitting alone in church not one sunday but two, dealing with questions... I will be trying to explain to my Pastor why my husband just up and left me and went to California. I will perhaps tell him more than Woody wants him to hear...maybe I should tell the whole blessed world.

    Is this not abuse? I certainly feel used. One day its going to come back on him. My God is "The God Who Sees"from Genesis 16:13

    Then she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, "Have I also here seen Him who sees me?"

    God wont let this go, and I certainly wont.


    May 14, 2007

    Diverging Paths

    Woody on the "boat dock" on Beaver Lake at War Eagle Caverns, War Eagle Arkansas

    It was like a nightmare revisited, old nightmare and new nightmare merging

    Old nightmare...go back in time to September 14,1988, I was sitting in the Claim Jumper Restaurant with my first husband, the Engineer. This was a place where we came to celebrate significant events After a five month reprieve, and a seeming reconnecting after two years of disconnect, I was thinking that we were celebrating the rebirth of our marriage. After all I had done everything I had been asked to do. How shocked I was to hear these words, "Hoku, Im sorry but I am leaving for a while, I am going to go and stay with friends and get my headtogether...maybe away from you I can think clearly. Then I will come back and it will be ok, you'll see. I sat there, with cake in my mouth and stared at him..."Things were coming together, and I had a job and wasnt the least bit of bother. Didnt I mean anything to him anymore?..." I didnt make a scene, or say anything. I picked up the to go box and went to the car. He drove me home and unceremoniously dumped me off at the curb...I walked into the dark house, petted my tiger kitty, known as the Creature, went into the bedroom and lay face down on the bed and prayed to the gods to cause a huge aftershock to shake the broken bits of my house... the broken bits of my life... and crush the remaining flicker of life out of it, cause I couldnt take it any more....

    The Engineer lied of course, He only came back to demand money from me and to beat me up once. He continued down the path to perdition, while I found God and moved into a life I only dreamed of....

    Fast forward to 2007 at a slightly less fancy place, on Mother's Day, a day fraught with perils for my emotions every year. My relation ship with my Mother was fragile at best, add to this the reminder that not only do I have the memory of a dead baby in my deepest heart, but I am bombarded but the reality that Woody refused to have a family and here I am barren and childless.

    New nightmare...Woody says...Gee I have been wanting to talk to you about this but I didnt know how to go about it. I have been watching the fares on the Internet, but my car is ready to go on a driving trip, I am going to California for a while... to see my friends and get my head clear. You know I didnt get that job and I really dont know what I am going to do.

    I wipe my mouth, and ask him calmly " are you coming back?"
    "Well, of course I am, I think so..."
    "Well" I say " I know about the new bank account and the work that you have had done on the car I have been waiting for you to say something...." Woody squirms on the seat. " Do you think its fair? You are leaving me with house project in the air a new position with my job and you not working. For heaven's sakes we just got back from Charleston!"

    "Im going" Woody says
    "You are running away. Why cant you stand on your own two feet?" I say. Because for some reason known only to God, I cant fathom it...

    The day wears on and I realize that he really is leaving last night I cried and today I cried. I left the house to go walking and he came out and gave me a cursory peck on the cheek, like you would give your mother. The neighbors were watching so perhaps that is why he did that at all...I walked away turned and watched him go up and into our house. Maybe for the last time.

    I went walking at Bella Vista Lake. Its a long walking trail and I circled the lake twice. I kept hoping that I would just fall down in the sun and dry out to a crisp, so there would be no life left in me, like a dead frog. I walked till my head ached, then I came home...

    I drove past the church, toying with the idea of seeing Pastors David or Pat, but I didnt..I couldnt bring myself to throw Woody under the bus when he might actually come back. The neighbors were told for my safety, so they wouldnt hesitate to call if they say something when I wasnt around. I have told my boss, who looked at me in shock.

    I am not in shock. I scared him six weeks ago when I came into the bedroom after a long day and said maybe I should move out...take the cats and go somewhere anywhere. I was so weary of it all the simpering, the excuses and the fakery. I feel like the man's mother, and I want to scream. When do I get a little love and attention? Did the thought of me ever play into the decision making process of going to California? I asked, it did not. Woody considers me perfectly capable of taking care of all of lifes circumstances... Perhaps its that fact that drove him off, but please, dont kids yourselves. I learned that he is the joke of the neighborhood, and how he talks big but does nothing. He care nothing for our home wont fix or take care of things, and the older men on the block scorn that. His not working not making a big effort to look for work is a joke amongst these people and he hasnt fooled them one bit.

    On the other hand, I have been told that my willingness to keep trying inspires on lady with issues with her grown daughter and granddaughter. Maybe I am foolish, but I feel a definite turning of the page, a diverging of the paths. Even if or when Woody comes back, things will be different, and not a good different. I cannot trust him and I cant believe him. I have to rely only on myself.

    Woody, If you are reading this from Jim's computer in California, feel free to comment. I would like to know why you felt that during this fragile time in our lives that you HAD to leave. Two weeks and a precious long weekend which I took off so I could be with YOU... I wish I could go somewhere without you, and maybe I will, I dont know

    I wish I could run away... it has been my life's dream, but I have learned that "Home is always where ever YOU are..." you can escape your troubles ....they follow you everywhere

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    May 13, 2007

    Ephesians 6~ Some Final Words of Instruction

    Dogwood Dreams

    Ephesians 6
    Children and Parents

    Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."Honor your father and mother" this is the first commandment with a promise, "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land." Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

    Slaves and Masters

    Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man,knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

    The Whole Armor of God

    Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel,for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.

    Final Greetings

    So that you also may know how I am and what I am doing, Tychicus the beloved brother and faithful minister in the Lord will tell you everything.I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are, and that he may encourage your hearts.

    Peace be to the brothers, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible.

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    May 11, 2007

    Another World All Together

    Old Original Slave Cabin Magnolia Plantation Charleston South Carolina. The slave mentality and its resulting color line were barely veiled to my way of thinking there in the Charleston SC area... I was told when I asked about it that "things have improved a lot..." Perhaps, I didnt see outward signs of racism ie no signs that said "No Colored" anywhere but they are there in spirit I could feel it.

    "Yeah Boss man, its a different world down there in the Deep South...I could see that there is still a long way to go with regards to equality..."

    " Hoku, you drove around and saw what I lived around for years. No good jobs, and the few employers there are, are on the good ole boy system so outsiders and Blacks cant get a job... Like what you faced in Hawaii. People really have few chances to make their lives better and for the most part generations have been whollowing in poverty, and not just Black people."

    I nod knowingly... both of our families have roots in the cotton fields of West Texas, and it wasnt too many generations ago that our ancestors lives were as hard scrabble as those folks living in makeshift houses and trailers there in the South Carolina Low Country. On another note...I can also see how those that lived like this in places like Slidel Mississippi, and other poor areas didnt have a icecubes chance in hell of surviving Katrina... The thought of a huricane going through the salt marshes and bayous of the Low Country made Woody and my skin crawl...

    Its like another world there. In Hawaii I took it for granted the poverty that I saw was a result of the island culture, a more casual attitude of living that didnt allow for the standard of living that Woody and I were used to and were not willing to give up having. I have later come to understand that the poverty there is caused by many factors not the least of which is a poverty of spirit and what I call the "slave mentality" an attitude of waiting for and wanting a hand out from a paternalistic entity, in Hawaii once it was the Plantation Owners who promised work and support from adulthood till death. I think that the government has encouraged that among the poor in general and that has lead to the poverty of spirit that I saw a lot of as we drove through the counties between Charleston and Savannah.

    There were churches, lots of them, of every type you can imagine. As we drove on sunday I saw that the parking areas were fill and at some places the cars and trucks were parked all down the streets, away from the building. And Id like to think that many of the people that we met reflected the spiritual feeding that they received there. Insted of the negative, even hostile attitudes that we have experienced when we have tried to engage many non whites in conversation in California, and even Hawaii, we found that people were interested in telling us about their lives. They shared about the difficulties of finding work, of affording to repair homes. Like Hawaii, the young leave to find better opportunites. We saw a lot of old folks out in the country and not a lot of young people.

    Some if the areas looked as though a hurricane had gone through and no one could afford to fix the damage... Its benign neglect, and people were open about that. Even the resort showed that same feeling as the grounds were neat but the interiors looked like they really needed help. I know money is short there too as the place changed hands recently, but its also the punishing climate, damp and salty from the sea water being right up against you and around you...

    The beautiful Ashley River. It and its sister river, the Cooper empty in Charleston harbor, this is about 5 miles upstream

    But for all of the negatives, there were many positives too. There is a huge effort going on by local people to retain the local culture. A large number of African Americans, decendents of slaves owned by area land owners are taking personal ownership of oportunities to pass on their languange and culture, much of which came from Africa. The Gullah people, brought from Sierra Leone to work the big rice plantations in the early 1700's, still use their own language and cutural practices. There are craft guilds that support the production and marketing of their handicrafts. After seeing the way the Hawaiians have saved and preserved their language and culture and how important that contribution that is, this is another unique culture that I enjoyed very much. It gives me hope that more good will come to these folks. they all seemed very grounded, and maybe its because of thoughts like this Gullah proverb that I heard more than once that week...

    If oonuh ent kno weh oonuh dah gwine, oonuh should kno weh oonuh come f'um. Translation: If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you come from

    I have certainly found strength in my own life from being rooted in a good place...

    It doesnt get worse than this, we can all look back and see how far we have come, some more than most...Magnolia on the Ashley Plantation, near Charleston SC


    May 07, 2007

    Traveling Mercies

    Southern Hospitality, Rocking Chairs to while the time away at the Charleston Airport Charleston South Carolina

    Written at Fairfield Ocean Ridge Edisto Beach South Carolina
    April 29,2007

    Well, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being perfect and 1 being stuck on a NorthWorst grounded flight 23 hours on board the accurssed aircraft, our flights from XNA Northwest Arkansas to Charleston SC, by way of Chicago O'Hare...,it was the O'Hare experience that kept it from being flawless....a good solid 9. I am waiting for the day that someone sues the city of Chicago for failure to even begine to adhere to the Americans with Disabilities Act. We must have trooped up 10 flights of steep stairs and taaken the shuttle bus that was so crowded, that sardines would have been right at home. I endured the usual stares that a fat woman gets on Public Transportation. We arrived at the appointed gate only to find that the gate was chanaged while wewere on the tram... Yeah. So it was back to the tram back up and down the 10 flights of stairs... no elevators, back to nearly where we started. Mayor Dailey, no hear this you have been warned... Get yourself down to the airport and think about what it would be like to be a disabled person in your airport...It was nothing short of shocking...

    However the rest of the day was as good as it gets. I flew alone on my row both legs allowing me to not feel like I am getting into another poor humans space. I weighed in 3 lbs less than I had the week before, proof that the new hours keep me from snacking in the evenings and really on the Nutrasystem track. I will be sucessful in getting the weight off and keeping it off. My goal is to be able to fly and not feel like I should be paying for an additional ticket.

    Charleston is lovely. We landed and began looking for a place to eat and drove around the port area and found a lunch place. Our drive to Edisto...we found out it is pronounced ED-is-STOW,was an easy hour of moss draped oak forests that break out into sweeping vistas of salt marshes, bordered by old growth forest. Birds, deer and Alligators, (know locally as "lizardmen", as that is what the indians called them) abound. Laid back to the point of making the Big Island look like a jumping hot spot, Woody and I are in heaven.

    We had read horror stories on the web about this resort AFTER we booked so we had some concerns. However the tri level villa was decent and clean, if shabby. Our complaint about these is that there is no bathroom on the first floor. But Woody is managing nicely and the stairs are good for me to climb. We arent doing a lot of cooking and I am off of NS, but going to make good choices on food, so if the kitchen has a working coffee maker we are good to go.

    We had a good night and spent the day today at the beach and driving around the area. We knew that Sunday a lot of places are closed, so we stuck to driving and loved the views. We drove as far as Beaufort, near Parris Island Marine Corps Training Center, and drove back. The base will sometimes have tours, but we are code orange so no one not essential was getting on. Just as well.

    Tomorrow its a tour of Old Charleston, and the Magnolia Plantation will try to get some good pics


    May 06, 2007

    Ephesians 5~~Living In The Light

    country stream Highfill, Arkansas

    Living in the Light

    Follow God's example in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love for others, following the example of Christ, who loved you and gave himself as a sacrifice to take away your sins. And God was pleased, because that sacrifice was like sweet perfume to him.
    Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes-these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is really an idolater who worships the things of this world. Don't be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the terrible anger of God comes upon all those who disobey him. Don't participate in the things these people do. For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now you are full of light from the Lord, and your behavior should show it! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.
    Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But when the light shines on them, it becomes clear how evil these things are. And where your light shines, it will expose their evil deeds. This is why it is said,

    "Awake, O sleeper,
    rise up from the dead,
    and Christ will give you light."

    Living by the Spirit's Power

    So be careful how you live, not as fools but as those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity for doing good in these evil days. Don't act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. Then you will sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, making music to the Lord in your hearts. And you will always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

    Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands

    And further, you will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything.
    And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church. And we are his body.
    As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

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