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My Wide Blue Seas

Its All About The Journey


Name~ Hokule'a Kealoha

Short Bio~Hokule'a Kealoha is the Nom De Plume of a writer that formerly lived in Hawaii and is now living a life of adventure on the highways and byways of the American South . I am a Born Again follower of Jesus, as well as a wife, mother of cats and dogs,jeweler, entreprenuer, photographer and pilgrim...

Age~ Old enough to know better

Status~ Newly Single after 13 years of marriage,fur mom to the loving and devoted mini ShihTzu doggie Annabelle, born 6-11-2007 RIP 2-25-09, and the beautiful Abigail born 2-14-09

Hair Color~ natural brown/grey

Mood~ I ALWAYS have a mood, try me...

Loving~ Jesus, Hawaii, my furry friend, Abigail, my Pen Pals, Jewelry ,Blogging ,Writing anything,my Ipod,and being outdoors surrounded by my wonderful natural surroundings

Hating~ Boom Box Cars, Earspray, Abuse of Power,

  • Bible

  • Magnificat

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  • Underwired! Louisville's magazine for Women

  • In Store~The Magazine for the American Jeweler

  • Books in Progress...

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  • Just Finished Reading

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  • Jesus, Divine Mercy ~
    Learn About The Divine Mercy
    I Trust In You~

    My Favorite Past Posts~Relive The Journey!~
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  • 2008~
  • Be Thankful

  • Colateral Damage

  • Make Lemonade

  • Home Is Where The Heart Is

  • The Poor With Us

  • Because Its The Hardest Thing I Can Do

  • We Have All Become Victims

  • Lest I Forget

  • The Most Important Words

  • Family Values

  • Familiar Places

  • May Perpetual Light Shine On Them

  • A City In Motion

  • 2007~
  • The Quiet Storm

  • Fellowship of the Cane

  • Like Dead Unremembered: A 9-11 Tribute

  • The Medicine Machine

  • One Giant Leap

  • In The Steps of St. Francis

  • Too Much Information

  • The Un Choice

  • 2006~
  • The Holly and the Ivy

  • The First 9-11, Dec 7,1941

  • Small Moments of Silence

  • Peaches to Winnipeg

  • Dreaming of Hawaii

  • Memorial Day

  • Scattered Values

  • The White Line is the Lifeline for the Nation

  • Warnings of a New Civil War

  • I Will Be True To The Promise I Have Made

  • The Snowy Bloody Day

  • Cats in the Cradle

  • 2005~
  • The Journey

  • Rebirth of a City

  • For Posterity's Sake

  • The New Civil War

  • Every Mother's Son

  • And There You Stayed, Temporarily Lost at Sea

  • The Lone Rider

  • The Bible Is Not the Fourth Member of the Trinity

  • Rome Wasn't Built With Union Labor

  • Happy Birthday Mom ~revised~

  • A Beautiful Noise

  • Even Now

  • The Wearing of the Red

  • Night Ranger

  • The Joyful Traveler

  • Hoiliili "To Gather Up"

  • Ke Makakilo (My Observations)

  • He Giveth Sleep

  • Save The Children

  • 2004~
  • Lux Aeterna

  • December 2004

  • You're Joking, Right?

  • Ground Zero

  • I Am Not A Failure

  • O,To Grace, How Great A Debtor

  • Lost In Translation

  • One Small Step for Man

  • The Rainbow's End

  • Profanity

  • Taps

  • The Journey

  • Makoa's Song

  • No Aloha For The Weakest

  • The Paradoxical Comandments

  • The Time Is Now

  • 2003~
  • When No Fruit Is On The Vine

  • Photobucket
    St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
    St. Edith Stein~Pray for Us

    Religion Link List~

  • My Secret is Mine

  • Ignatius Insight-Online Magazine

  • Fr John Corapi SOLT

  • Dr. Scott Hahn St Paul Center

  • Fr. Mitch Pacwa~ Ignatius Productions

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  • Political Link List~
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  • Arkansas Link List~
  • Little Portion Hermitage

  • John Michael Talbot website

  • John Michael Talbot Myspace page

  • 1st United Methodist Church Bella Vista

  • Northwest Arkansas Guide

  • Mimi's Cafe

  • Metro Woman Business Directory of NW Arkansas

  • River Grille

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  • Interactive Links~

    Live WebCam Feed from the Mauna Lani Resort, Kohalla, Big Island of Hawaii

    Click here for Aloha Joe!Live Hawaiian Music 24/7

    St Damein of Molokai'i,Patron Saint of Hawaii, Pray for us

    St. Damien of Molokai'i, Patron of Hawaii and the Outcasts among us, pray for us....

    Hawaii Links~ ~
  • For more Hawaii links Click Here

  • Volcano Updates (Pele's Mood Meter)Hawaii Volcano Observatory

  • Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

  • Volcano Watch Archives

  • Mauna Kea Observatory

  • Pacific Tsunami Museum

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  • Technorotica for Blogging~

    Blogarama - The Blog Directory

    Listed on BlogShares

    Christianity Blog Directory

  • Who Links Here...Click here to see who's linking to this site. Powered by WhoLinksToMe.com

  • Globe of Blogs~Blog search engine

  • The Blog Search Engine

  • stock xchng

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  • Wikipedia

  • Nuzio's Place on the Web

  • Commutefaster.com

  • PING ME!

  • MWBS Wordpress Edition

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  • Technorotica for Jewelers, and the Jewelry Trade~

  • Gemological Institute of America

  • The Drouhard National Jewelers School

  • The Conner School

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  • August 31, 2008

    Deuteronomy 15:1-11~ Dealing Rightly With The Poor

    Summer Skies near Noel MO

    How God's People Must Deal With the Poor Among Them

    "At the end of every seventh year you must cancel your debts. This is how it must be done. Creditors must cancel the loans they have made to their fellow Israelites. They must not demand payment from their neighbors or relatives, for the Lord's time of release has arrived. This release from debt, however, applies only to your fellow Israelites-not to the foreigners living among you. There should be no poor among you, for the Lord your God will greatly bless you in the land he is giving you as a special possession. You will receive this blessing if you carefully obey the commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today. The Lord your God will bless you as he has promised. You will lend money to many nations but will never need to borrow! You will rule many nations, but they will not rule over you!
    "But if there are any poor people in your towns when you arrive in the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hard-hearted or tightfisted toward them. Instead, be generous and lend them whatever they need. Do not be mean-spirited and refuse someone a loan because the year of release is close at hand. If you refuse to make the loan and the needy person cries out to the Lord, you will be considered guilty of sin. Give freely without begrudging it, and the Lord your God will bless you in everything you do. There will always be some among you who are poor. That is why I am commanding you to share your resources freely with the poor and with other Israelites in need.

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    August 29, 2008

    The Poor With Us

    A aging barn Hwy 42 in Oldham Co Kentucky. As prices rise for maitenence, farms like this are being left for ruin and later sold for development. This horse farm was prosperous until recently but has fallen on hard times and I think it will be just a matter of time before it is sold off for development

    Pray for Women in Chronic Poverty
    With gas averaging $4.00 a gallon, middle class households may be pinched, but families below the poverty line are squeezed. Yet compare the plight of the poor in our country to the desperate situation of victims of chronic poverty resulting from war, famine, natural disasters and dictatorships. The order to help the poor in Matthew 25 is not to be taken lightly, even in bad economies.

    The Center for Global Development recently analyzed aid and economic growth in poor nations, concluding that foreign aid that rises above 8 percent of the gross domestic product of a country actually has a negative effect, causing stagnant growth and worse conditions for the poor. Their takeaway is that we should help, but not help too much.

    People want to pull themselves out of poverty. It feels good to be able to earn a living. Perhaps some of the anger directed at the U.S. in third world countries can be traced to our “excessive” generosity? Already, there are many organizations that are dedicated to helping spread local solutions to poverty: It may not be Lent, but for the poor, it is always Lent. Those to whom much has been given, much is expected.
    excerpt from a recent newsletter from Secretum Meum Mihi

    45 million in U.S. are uninsured
    Some 15.3 percent of Americans had no public or private health insurance in 2007, down from 15.8 percent in 2006, according to the latest U.S. figures released on Monday. A total of 45.7 million people were uninsured, down from 47 million.

    "It's not perhaps the best use of the money that is being spent. And there are a lot people who feel that and would actually like to see coming out of the current campaign in the U.S. proposals for a universal health insurance MSNBC Source

    There are no "poor" people in this country, look at Africa, now thats poor. Those lazy people in ....(fill in the blank, I have heard people use every local in the country)...they just dont work hard enough...have too many kids... have the welfare mentality and so on.

    Eze 16:49 "Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy.

    John 12:8 (...and Jesus replied...)"The poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me."

    I stand here guilty. I am sitting in the lap of luxury thinking about the future and know that we have a lot of work to do in this country. I listened to some of the speaches at the DNC convention and will tune into the RNC convention when it comes and I know that they will bang the drum about poverty and the healthcare issue. Its getting very bad out there and I wonder how people are managing.

    They arent. I am in the process of looking at homes in our area to possible buy and cannot believe how many are available for low and getting lower prices. Truth is some of them look like the people just walked away from them. I wonder where they went. I know that rents are way up and there are not many available units in decent places. Thats why I am hoping to buy something.

    I saw this presentation and it really put into perspective how people are having to live. There are a lot of polititicians and media people who are saying "well people just have to budget and decide if a flat screen tv or cel phone are more important than healthcare insurance." That is not the reality of poverty in America. Lets be honest, people are in a huge bind, and while I am not a supporter of huge government handouts I do believe that people have a fundimental right to healthcare.

    I love the rich white guys on TV and radio talking about how our grandparents didnt have insurance and they paid for the doctors visits out of pocket. Not true. The poor people...most people didnt call a doctor, they called an undertaker, as people died quickly from the most basic things that today's medical establishment can easily cure...for a price. Medical care costs 1000 times more now than it did 75 years ago and care now is more assessable than ever. Is it moral to deny life to someone because they dont make enough money at their crummy job? I also think that that there are a lot of hurdles facing the poor and the working poor that they and the rest of us have to try to leap over everyday, but many are not making it and the destruction that is being left behind in peoples lives is staggering.

    What do you leave out of your budget? What do you do without?. Do without too much and the authorities will come and take your kids away. I personally know people who had to live in their cars, because they couldnt pay the rent on their income. These were 40 hour a week working people. One little thing happened and it blew them out of the financial water and they found themselves homeless.

    I think the economy/low wage no insurance jobs/healcare issue affects every aspect of life. The cry of "we are too fat as a nation" is answered by the studies that show a direct corelation between income levels and obesety. The poorer you are the fatter you are. The rising costs of healthcare insurance for employers means fewer of us get insured every year. Less preventative treatment is paid for out of pocket because, lets face it, paying the rent comes first. Kids get the nationalized medical plan if their parents know about it and if their doctors accept it. Ah there's the rub..If

    And so on. Healthcare insurance needs to be universal, not dependent on employer generosity...There needs to be a gap plan for working people 55 to 65, the largest group of working adults that have marginal (due to preexisting conditions)or no insurance coverage at all. They face the loss of what ever they have saved for retirement due to paying for treatment, and that creates the additional problem of one more seinor that has nothing for their retirement except Social Security. Its not always laziness that causes these issues as the pundits say...sometimes its just a fact, there was no extra money to save up for the future...the future came suddenly like a bad dream.

    Whoever the next President is must take a hard look at the situation domestically. One of my biggest disappointments with Pres Bush was how little work was done on the domestic front. He wasted opportunities to work on reforming Social Security, Health Care management and the Immigration mess...The war while necessary has been badly managed and has had a blank check. There has been little accountability on either side of the Aisle in Congress for the financial situation in our country. Little wonder that speculators feel that now is the time to run up the prices of commodities... As American's wages stagnate and the average person falls futher and futher behind, the only intervention of the goverment it seems can pull up the runaway horse of inflation and stagnation. Im no economist, but everytime I go to the market and I see women struggling to get what they need for their families . Yes I know that there are the five dollar coffee addicts and the ladies that surf the shopping channels, but frankly there is less and less of this, and we all know it.

    I dont have the answer. As a business owner I believe in a free market and dont want the government telling me what I can or cant charge. As a Christian I feel that poverty is all of our problem. As a woman that is aging and facing a retirement that is likely going to befunded only by Social Security, I am concerned about what happens to the elderly today as it has a direct impact on my future tomorrow.

    I am watching the candidates closely, listening for any sign that business as usual is over. With the resounding call for change I see little of substantive ideas from either side. Its going to be a rough ride ahead for the working man and woman in the years to come, I just pray that we dont forget the less fortunate in our scramble to keep our heads above water

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    August 24, 2008

    Psalm 138 ~ Give Thanks To The Lord

    Tall Cana and summer flowers Riverfront Park Botanical Gardens Downtown Louisville Kentucky

    Give Thanks to the Lord
    Of David.

    I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart;
    before the gods I sing your praise;
    I bow down toward your holy temple
    and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness,
    for you have exalted above all things
    your name and your word.
    On the day I called, you answered me;
    my strength of soul you increased.

    All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O Lord,
    for they have heard the words of your mouth,
    and they shall sing of the ways of the Lord,
    for great is the glory of the Lord.
    For though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly,
    but the haughty he knows from afar.

    Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
    you preserve my life;
    you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies,
    and your right hand delivers me.
    The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
    your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.
    Do not forsake the work of your hands.

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    August 22, 2008

    The"Check Engine" Light is Flashing

    Peaceful Ohio River Riverfront Park Louisville Kentucky...I love going and sitting by the river and taking its vastness in

    I feel like my "Check Engine" Light is flashing. When that happens with one of our vehicles Woody is pretty quick to see that the proper attention is sought via the dealership garage. In my case, I may have gotten ahead of God with regards to employment and as a result the important work that He wants to do before I return to Arkansas might get shortchanged if I am not careful.

    I have a lot to do but cant seem to get motivated... time is passing and as if to quietly remind me the leaves are starting to turn brilliant colors signalling that while we have scorching heat and humidity this week, the nights are cooler by the week and fall will be in full swing before long. Its only 9 weeks or so before I leave here for the forseeable future. Once I get home its work and practice on my skills as a jeweler first and foremost. Any inner work would get pushed by the wayside by business development, buildout and possibly moving into a new home for myself and Annabelle.

    I worked at the Craft Store two full days...agonizing days of standing on concrete floors stocking shelves with...Christmas stuff... in August. The place where I broke my foot last September hurt so badly it felt like a lit cigarette was being shoved against the side of my foot. I hobbled home and stiffly walked my doggy and died each night

    Its not worth it, its not enough money to warrant injuring myself and I am not interested enough in the work to carry on with it. I really felt that I needed to focus on my business plan and spend more time at the jeweler that had offered to help me practice my skills at repair...

    So I typed up the resignation letter...

    Today I went in to the jeweler to work... The last two times she has given me a herringbone chain to cut and solder back together. First chain is my thing. I do that better than anyone in either school that I attended. Link, Cable, rope, snake and funky zebra chain (I did one of those so well that Madam Jeweler coulnt find the joint)but herringbone is one that I have never mastered, you cant reweave it and no matter what you do it kinks and looks like crap. It was one of the things that the 1980's produced along with Spandex pants that once you snag they are ruined.

    At Conner's, I would first have thoughly cleaned the peices by soaking in lye, then rinse steam sonic and steam again so it was sterile clean. Dirt and skin oil can cause the soft heat from a low flame torch to grow hotter melting the delicate links as you solder. I would then split the chain exactly straight with end cutters and file the joint smooth so that the herringbone mates, firecoat, flux and flame it gently so the soft solder just melts. Its like brushing it...Even with all of this care and some sucess, Charlie counseled us to get the customer to scrap out this old chain for a new one as it never looks as good as new unlike some other styles of chain.

    Madam Jeweler said for me to cut evenly and reweave it then solder. No cleaning. As I pulled the links open the dirt just fell out in chunks. I tried to reweave the links at leat ten times and each time I did it and tried to solder it the thing melted and fell apart. It was frustrating to say the least.

    I asked for a demo and she said that she didnt have time... no one was in the store and she seemed edgy, finally she said that she couldnt do this anymore. She was upset that I was going home in October. She was training me for nothing, and she had hoped that I would stay on for Holiday and she could perhaps give me the chains and the sizings and pay me a little. But I wasnt any good to her or anyone as I dont know anything and Charlie took my money and didnt teach me anything.

    At that point I turned off my light and pulled my visor off. I thanked her for her time and told her that I was sorry for any trouble that I had caused. I had brought in my chair that I had brought from Conner's to use and I knew that the other jeweler really liked it. I offered it to her for her second bench in compensation for the materiels I had used and the scrap that was now in the sweeps pile.

    In a way I am relieved. I was being hit everytime I went in there, by how little I learned from Charlie...Hello! How could I sit there for all of that time and come home with fried fingers and polishing compound up my nose and not know anything? I dont think so and it inspires me to get home and get started...

    I know one little lady that is thrilled to have me all to herself everyday

    Annabelle posing in the sun with her new hair bob

    Annabelle celebrated her first year as my doggy this week, again I know that she was Heaven sent and has been a loving companion these past 6 months

    And so it goes. I am reading more of Dr. Cloud having finished "The Secret Things of God" I have assignments at counseling, my novice therapist is forthright and provocative, and a great listener. I hope he's as good a listener with his new wife!

    God threw on my "Check Engine" light so I would rethink a few things... I am so glad that He did. It pays to listen and take your life to the Master Mechanic once in a while. The tune up you get can make all the difference in your life

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    August 18, 2008

    Oh, Happy Day!

    Posted by Picasa
    Play with me? Annabelle at 8 months at home in Arkansas

    Today marks a year of doggy love and togetherness between me and Annabelle. I cant get over how much I love this tiny creature and how she makes me smile continuously


    August 17, 2008

    Psalm 84 ~ A Day In Your House Is Better Than a Thousand Elsewhere

    Warming up the Worship Community of Watkins United Methodist Church, Springhurst Village Louisville Kentucky

    Psalm 84

    How lovely is your dwelling place,
    O Lord of hosts!
    My soul longs, yes, faints
    for the courts of the Lord;
    my heart and flesh sing for joy
    to the living God.

    Even the sparrow finds a home,
    and the swallow a nest for herself,
    where she may lay her young,
    at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
    my King and my God.
    Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
    ever singing your praise! Selah

    Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    in whose heart are the highways to Zion. [fn2]
    As they go through the Valley of Baca
    they make it a place of springs;
    the early rain also covers it with pools.
    They go from strength to strength;
    each one appears before God in Zion.

    O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;
    give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah
    Behold our shield, O God;
    look on the face of your anointed!

    For a day in your courts is better
    than a thousand elsewhere.
    I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
    than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
    For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
    the Lord bestows favor and honor.
    No good thing does he withhold
    from those who walk uprightly.
    O Lord of hosts,
    blessed is the one who trusts in you!

    In praise and thanks to God for His Blessing of ministry to others
    in raising me up to serve in the worship misnistry for the first time
    in nearly 10 years today.

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    August 16, 2008

    Operation: ReEntry

    Horse country afternoon Oldham Co. Kentucky

    Atmospheric reentry refers to the movement of human-made or natural objects as they enter the atmosphere of a planet from outer space, in the case of Earth from an altitude above the "edge of space." This article primarily addresses the process of controlled reentry of vehicles which are intended to reach the planetary surface intact, but the topic also includes uncontrolled (or minimally controlled) cases, such as the intentionally or circumstantially occurring, destructive deorbiting of satellites and the falling back to the planet of "space junk" due to orbital decay.

    Vehicles that typically undergo this process include ones returning from orbit (spacecraft) and ones on exo-orbital (suborbital) trajectories (ICBM reentry vehicles, some spacecraft.) Typically this process requires special methods to protect against aerodynamic heating. Various advanced technologies have been developed to enable atmospheric reentry and flight at extreme velocities.

    Mars Exploration Rover (MER) aeroshell, artistic rendition.

    When I think of the words "Re Entry" I think of the stories of incredible courage that my Father would tell me of the astronauts and the literal "moments of truth" as each mission would undergo "Reentry" through the earths atmosphere. As the earth rotates there are areas of thinning in the outer atmosphere called "windows" Timing is critical as the vehicle must reenter the atmosphere within one of those windows in precise position or face un endurable heat and burn up or bounce off of the atmospheric veil like a stone being skipped on the surface of a lake. Because of magnetic
    interference all radio and computer contact between the vehicle and ground control is cut off for 15 to 25 minutes, so its hold your breath and wait and see if all of your hopes and dreams work out and there is a good landing...

    Like the astronauts I too am preparing to make reentry. I have been living alone, moving to my own rhythm and living my own life. Life in the city moves faster than in the Ozarks but I have cocooned myself in my castle on the greens and move slower than the city and slower certainly than I was when working at Transplace. I take long walks with my yipper, spend time in the pool and the gym and shop at the myriad of opportunities...to my own hurt financially, I have spent way too much and need to be more careful from here on out. I have no one to think of or care about and like it that way.

    After nearly six months of living in the bluegrass I can say that I have had the time of my life and its not over yet. Its not been easy and there were a lot of very hard times, but this past week I came to the realization that while I love it here and if I was without connections anywhere else I would find a cheaper apartment and find a way to stay here permanently. I have become a different person and the result is that I can see the issues in Arkansas with new eyes. I need to not only face the challenge of embarking on the career that I have trained for these past 6 months but deal with the issues regarding my marriage and these last 13 years of difficulty in relating to my husband.

    River City Downtown Louisville as seen from Riverfront Harbor and Park overlooking the Great Lawn that is a public gathering space that is large enough to handle 500,000 people

    I was still struggling just a week ago with what I was going to do regarding my future here. I have been hired by a local craft store. Its at a wage that I havent earned in 20 years and not nearly enough to pay for my apartment or even a cheap life here in this not terrible expensive city but more expensive than NW Arkansas.

    I have come to the realization that I am not going to get a jewelers job here. Not because I am new, and inexperienced...I am well received and called a jeweler and have even been shown around some stores. The lady at the store that is letting me practice is ok with having me around but it is security,... I am sure that is the issue in general. I dont blame anyone. After giving it a lot of thought I would be the same way with the stranger without connections to the community that wants at my million dollar inventory and to have access to my customer's family heirlooms. I wouldnt hire me and cant blame others.

    A couple of things have influenced my decision to prepare to return to the Ozarks. I have been reading Dr. Henry Cloud's great book "The Secret Things of God" this past two weeks. I read a chapter a day in the morning. Its not meant to critique Rhonda Byrne's book but takes us on a journey of how God works in our lives if we let Him. I have become more and more convicted that I need to return and at least tie up loose ends.

    The other was a email that I received from a dear friend that in true Calvary Chapel fashion prejudged my situation and demanded that I return to the side of my husband where I belong and how could I disregard my marriage vows like I have... brother...
    We have since discussed this and perhaps worked things out, but I found it sad that after twenty years my motives should be judged like that. I had to disclose things that I wish I hadnt, but frankly no one who knows the whole story judges me for anything that I do to try to cope

    So I have done what I do in a really life changing situation. When I know that things are really really going to change I go for help. I prayed for a few days then hit the phone book and sure enough a Christian Therapy group is nearby and they had a spot with a young man who is serving his practicum... in other words he is a intern. The price is much less than a licensed pro, and I have found over the years that you get a double dose of help as the intern has an overseer to review the case and help out.

    Our first session went very well. When I got there I saw Mark get out of his car and the evil little voice in my head said "He's young enough to be your son what can he possible say to help you..." I smiled to myself. That told me that the enemy of my soul was trying to get me and I laughed it off. After all God can speak in the still of the night, in a rock and roll song, in the writings of a fool and the mouth of a donkey. How much more so from the heart of a young man sold out to God?

    And speak He did. He challenge me to think about what I need from Woody to stay married and living with him. Better communication? Caring about the future? Caring about himself? Caring about me?... All of the above. Too much water under the bridge, I dont think enough can be done by either of us to make this work anymore the way it should... I feel that the relationship needs to be reframed and looked at in a more familial ie brother /sister relationship that allows for freedom of expression while honoring our vows to God. This will be done best while living separately I think.

    So I was encouraged at least to pray about it. I also began to look for housing for myself a house to buy with what money I have left, and there might be some creative rental/leasing situations to be looked at. I can only do this if I go home on time.

    I have many fears... Leaving this place of light and healing and returning to a dark cold cave... the confronting of rejection... and risking losing the devotion of Annabelle which has become simply amazing. I am totally jealous of her and dont want to see her fawn over Woody and ignore me like she does when hes around. I dont know if I can stand being ignored and rejected by the ones I love.

    I have a lot of risks in this return. No encouragement from Woody in a loving way, I know he enjoys his freedom and perhaps would rather I didnt come back. It would prolong this separation that seems to have done us both good. It will be interesting to see what preparations he makes as far as my return.

    Operation: Reentry is underway may God be with us

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    August 10, 2008

    1 Timothy 1:12-17~ Jesus Came To Save Sinners

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    The Emerald Shore Lake Bella Vista Arkansas

    1 Timothy 1:12-17

    Christ Jesus Came to Save Sinners

    I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service,though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief,and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

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    August 08, 2008

    Gaining Confidence

    Accross the pond,view from the walking path accross the ninth fairway and the units facing...Legends of Indian Springs, Springhurst, Louisville KY

    Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples. Suddenly, a terrible storm came up, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went to him and woke him up, shouting, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"
    And Jesus answered, "Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!" Then he stood up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly all was calm. The disciples just sat there in awe. "Who is this?" they asked themselves. "Even the wind and waves obey him!"

    "I dont know what you did for four months at Charlie's but he failed to teach you anything.You obviously dont know the basics by what you say to me... You are doing things wrong and using techniques that are outdated. Here let me show you how to do it." With that my bench test ended and I was humiliated by this woman in front of her daughter and employees. I had not even begun to do the simple size up she wanted. My explanation of the process alone was enough to disqualify me in her eyes"

    I set out this week to find some sort of jewelry work. After the miserable disapointment at the Friends Shop, I was eager to pound the pavement just to prove something to myself..."Yes I Can..." if you know what I mean.

    People were friendly, many had kind words to say about Charlie and the school. Other's were concerned about his being robbed (again...seems that he was robbed a few years ago as well) And a few, just a few felt that I had wasted my time and that I should have gone to GIA or the American School in Florida. They dont understand that I looked into all of those situations and Conner's was logistically and financially the best option. I did my homework and worked really hard to do the best that I could. Its not my fault that the teacher gave up teaching but took my money anyway. He really should have been more honest with me about where he was in his life.. That is not on me by any means.

    One of the nay sayers is the owner manager of a trio of jewelery stores here in the area. She learned the trade from her now ex husband, the founder of this enterprise, a Russian. By the way, there seem to be a lot of Eastern Europeans here fresh from the old country and a lot of them are into rackets that are marginally legal. This man sounds like one of them.

    She is a Latina, sharp of mind and of toungue. Bitter, a workaholic single mom who's school livley age daughter has been forced to camp here for days on end and seems to be a master at self entertainment. She knows a lot of students and people that have taken classes from Charlie's, and basically pooh poohed the whole thing . He thing is that her ex wanted to open his own school, but didnt for whatever reasons. It sounded like a lot of sour grapes...

    But she is willing to "teach" me. The bench she had me test in was empty, she uses tools that are not familiar, and hummphed when ever I said something. I refrained from making small talk as it seemed that she had not a positive thing to say.

    I worked for three hours. She let me use tools off the bench next to my not set up one. They were not what I was used to, and I felt odd at having to try to do a bang up job using inappropriate tools. I did manage to stumble through the two sizings I did later in the afternoon, but she didnt like anything about my technique

    I was a shaking mess by 6 pm (I had taken a three hour break mid afternoon to go home eat and play with Annabelle) I was sick from the stress and second guessing, and still am ill today. What little confidence I had mustered up has gone out the window. I cried on and off throughout the evening.

    I am not scheduled to go back untill next week. She made a lot of noise about having to sit and train me and flat out stated I wont be working on her merchindise or repairs. I could come and practice (be tortured) on her scrap and get trained in time for the holidays. I think this was her goal anyway. She has a man that comes in once a week but she seems to hate him (and every other man, sounds like abuse)and wants to get rid of him. However he works in platinum and I have no training in that so he will have his hours for a while yet.


    This morning I was reading my devotions and the passage above was given. Today is also the feast of my patron saint Edith Stein. I meditated on what life was like for her a woman in what was very much a mans world, in a man's work... a Jew that converted to Christianity and how her life was a struggle for acceptance.

    I have two paths. I can take the path of rage like my new "mentor" (shes not my boss nor my friend nor my teacher really). She is angry over everything in life... By the way wonderful with the customers, but the help is fair game for cutting comments and abuse. I was told by her "to develope thick skin I needed it in this business." That is total crap. When someone tells you that what they are saying is "I am going to abuse you so you'd better get used to it." I hate that and correct anyone who has the nerve to say that to me. Both of my parents told me that constantly as I was growing up and it is so wrong. There is nothing wrong with sensitivity and having feelings

    Or I can take the path of St Edith. Much of her philosphical writings dealt with empathy...in fact I believe that the empathy that God showed by sending His Son to be with us was a key motivator in her conversion and resultant writings. To walk in her path requires me to remain kind and loving in the face of adversity. To not withdraw, which I did at Charlie's to my hurt. To try to be as Christlike as possible towards this woman and her daughter...who reminds me of me at her age by the way, I think its her wit and long red brown hair...

    I am going to keep looking for another venue to work on my skills as well. Christmas is coming and jewelers are going to be looking for help. One issue is trust. I think that is what freaked out the Friends people. I have no contacts here nothing to keep me and a crazy story...I own nothing and could skip town with the goods tomorrow if I wanted to. So not everyone is going to let me into their stores and have unrestricted access to gold jewelery. If I cant find someplace else to work I will need to return home so I can work at my own shop. I can buy my own scrap to work on if I need to. One way or another I need to regain my nerve my self confidence that has taken such a beating these past few months.

    I know that I can do it. I also know that it takes years to develope the skills to be really good at this. I know that I want this and I am willing to work at it and to put up with the eccentricities of raving artists and the like to reach my goal. I are one myself, thats why I want to work for myself be on my own. Its the right thing for me and with a little confidence and faith I can see it through to final vision. I have done it before and with God's help I can do it again

    The Princess gypsy set into a ring made for an oval stone. A literal square peg into a oval hole. This showed that I understood construction and positioning of a stone in a rough mounting not made for it. One of my projects that I did while at Conner's, and shown here nearly compleated.

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    August 03, 2008

    Matthew 16:13-28 Upon This Rock

    The Church of the Holy Cross, the oldest Catholic church in Kentucky Holy Cross township Near Bardstown KY

    Matthew 16:13-28

    Peter's Declaration about Jesus

    When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?"
    "Well," they replied, "some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say Jeremiah or one of the other prophets."
    Then he asked them, "Who do you say I am?"
    Simon Peter answered, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God."
    Jesus replied, "You are blessed, Simon son of John, because my Father in heaven has revealed this to you. You did not learn this from any human being. Now I say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it. And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you lock on earth will be locked in heaven, and whatever you open on earth will be opened in heaven." Then he sternly warned them not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.

    Jesus Predicts His Death

    From then on Jesus began to tell his disciples plainly that he had to go to Jerusalem, and he told them what would happen to him there. He would suffer at the hands of the leaders and the leading priests and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, and he would be raised on the third day.
    But Peter took him aside and corrected him. "Heaven forbid, Lord," he said. "This will never happen to you!"
    Jesus turned to Peter and said, "Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, and not from God's."
    Then Jesus said to the disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? Is anything worth more than your soul? For I, the Son of Man, will come in the glory of my Father with his angels and will judge all people according to their deeds. And I assure you that some of you standing here right now will not die before you see me, the Son of Man, coming in my Kingdom."

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    August 01, 2008

    The Graduate

    Summer Pastures off Hwy 42 Oldam County Kentucky

    Mr. McGuire:I want to say one word to you.
    Just one word.
    Benjamin: Yes, sir.
    Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
    Benjamin: Yes, I am.
    Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
    Benjamin: Just how do you mean that, sir?

    Advice given to the young Benjamin Braddock played brilliantly by Dustin Hoffman in "The Graduate"

    Retired Jeweler: Im sorry this isnt going to work out but you have a great future ahead of you. You survived Charlie's and can do anything...anything you want
    Hokulea: OK...I guess
    Retired Jeweler:I will call you when I get back. I am sorry this wasnt my decision and I really want to do some music some Last Friday night, maybe next month... you will be working by then I am sure
    Hokulea:OK...I guess

    dialouge between myself and the jeweler I was going to be working with after I finished school. His boss got cold feet and told him to fire me. Im sure I looked like Dustin Hoffman did, stunned and overwelmed.I honestly think this aspriring professional musician might have been sorrier to see my voice go than me.

    Its been quite a week here in The 'Ville. I wasnt sure this time last week how things were going to go when I told Charlie yet again that I was done with Jewelers school. He had been so critical of everything that I did and while he had been fawning over the other gal in the class, he had been ignoring me for quite sometime. However insted of trying to talk me into staying, he had bigger fish to fry as a whole crop of new student is banging on his door wanting to give him money so he printed up my diplomas without any discussion and thanked me for comming...

    I walked out the door a Graduate Bench Jeweler, certifiable. It took a few days to sink in, but I am thrilled that I have gotten this far and cant wait to see how things will go from here.

    I went right away to the shop that wanted me to fill in while their jeweler was away and started right in doing repairs and helping out in the store. They had moved to this location two months ago and are still sorting out the mess of boxes that contain not only the inventory of this shop but several other bead and lapidary shops inventory that had been bought on the cheap in closeout situations and was a jumbled mess. I was helping mostly to clear a space where I could set up a bench and space to work. I was also trying to pay it forward by buying business cards (which they thought too expensive...Free at VistaPrint hello!...)Personally, I think the money and brains lady owner was uncomfortable with my presence in the store because I know more about running a business and getting it off the ground than she does. But who is to say? Like Jerry said, I survived Conner's I can do anything and it will show on a bench test, I just need to get out there and find some place that needs my help

    Getting my first (I did do some work this week and was paid for it)and last check from the shop was a surprise to me, but it has freed me up to think about other possibilities. I took up beading to learn enough to help out at the shop. I have a bunch of stuff here and people like the things I have made for myself, so I am going to take the supplies I have a make a bunch of stuff for a consignment shop here in town and see if it sells. I hope to find a graphic artist to make a logo for my "line" Firefly Designs and hang tags so I can market my designs effectively. After all this is new merchendise. I never thought that I would go this way but it is fun and I hate sitting around the TV with nothing in my hands to do.

    There are 182 jewelry stores in the Metro Louisville area. There are also Pawn shops and gold buyers that do repair. I am bound to find someone that needs some help. I just need to practice my craft before I open my own place. It would be nice to have a mentor that could help me refine things before I go off on my own...but I am prepared to do just that should I need to

    Woody went to work this week at a carlot in Neosho Mo about 30 miles from home. But there are not too many cars on that lot so how do you sell what you do not have??? pretty silly if you ask me. He is looking around for another place to jump off to and I am glad for him. He needs to do something to stay occupied and focused. He doesnt seem to be in any hurry for me to come home

    At this point I am not either. I am still trying to find myself. This has been a trying time and it was very hard on me but I feel 100 percent better now that those certificates are in hand. they are a ticket to my new life. I am full of hopeful thoughts and prayers

    My wall of Fame, Five Diplomas frame number six is for a blowup of my business card that I had printed

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    Hokule'a at mywideblueseas@gmail.com

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